Atlas Pam: “One Side, Costco Coulter! Them Kirkland
Krazy Kake Samples On Aisle 4 Is Mines!”

Yikes:

For Atlas Shrugs, “Ismail Ax” is another Gutenberg moment.

Okay, let’s see here …

ca. 1450: Johannes Gutenberg invents printing press.

VERSUS

April, 2007: Mainstream media fails to wildly speculate on Islamic connotations of phrase or partial phrase supposedly found written on Virginia Tech killer’s arm as reported by single news source.

I’m just not seeing it, Pam. Oh, wait! I know …

April, 2007: Mainstream media fails to wildly speculate on Islamic connotations of phrase or partial phrase supposedly found written on Virginia Tech killer’s arm as reported by single news source.

VERSUS

Summer, 1984: Steve Guttenberg heads crew of wacky, bumbling cops in Police Academy (and several sequels).

That’s got to be what she meant, right? Makes more sense, anyway … but Pam? Steve Guttenberg spells his name with two ‘T’s’ … you might want to fix that.

 

Q: Do You Like Kipling? A: Why Yes, I Kipple Regularly
(Shorter Jules Crittenden)

PC Racists

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  • Haw haw, old chaps: As a war veteran, let me stress that no man is entitled to claim that he has experienced the brutality of total war unless and until he has known it in the way that I have — as an upper-class right-wing civilian journalist briefly embedded in Iraq.

[via Instasociopath]


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

 

Shorter Debbie Schlussel

By tomorrow it will have become excessive. But we’ve got tonight, baby!

“Random” Washington Post Online Cover Photo from VTech

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  • THE WASHINGTON POST PUT VILE COCKROACH MUSLIMS ON THE COVER!!! IS THIS A MISTAKE HAHAHA NO!!!! THE MSM IS COZY IN BED WITH THE INTERNATIONAL JEWISH CONSPIRA…wait, I mean Muslim…SPIRACY!!!

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

 

Little Debbie Has Another Snack For You

The right-wingers are all circular-linking on the following detail like that thing that collapses in on itself and becomes a black hole, but we might as well keep things lively and continue with the Debbie Schlussel Meltdown Carnival.

Unless you want to see Pam’s thoughts on the matter.

Mentally ill, that’s what they are going with here. What an insult to the mentally ill.

Okay, right, that wouldn’t even be fair. Here’s Debbie:

Virginia Tech Shooter Had “Ismail” Written on Arm

By Debbie Schlussel

The Chicago Tribune reports that Virginia Tech University massacre perpetrator, Cho Seung-Hui,

    died with the words “Ismail Ax” in red ink on one of his arms.

Hmmm . . . Ismail–the Arabic name for Ishmael–considered the father of all Arabs and a very important figure in Islam.

I’m sure it’s just a coincidence, right? Doesn’t mean anything. Right.

Maybe “Ismail Ax” is the name of a friend of his. Or maybe he wanted to remind himself to buy an Ax for his friend Ismail for next Ramadan. Or I’m sure we’ll hear some other similarly absurd “explanation.” We’ll see.

Oh, we always have one of those.

photo_emmanuel_ax.gif
Above: Speculation lands hard upon
concert pianist Emanuel Ax

But perhaps the real question (I love that phrase) is how long the following exchange will last before Schlussel goes into one of her hide-the-evidence swings and makes it go buh-bye. Hers is the part in shouty all-caps, of course — that being a technique known to add poignancy and gravitas to Internet discourse.

Debbie, the same article you quote from also mentions that the kid was clearly off his rocker. Nucking Futz. A few fries short of a happy meal.

He was seriously disturbed — mentally ill with a growing taste for violence, rage, and death. He’d been referred to Student Health Services and was already under investigation for several earlier incidents, all signs of how unglued this kid was.

Trying to tie him to either illegal immigration — he was here legally — or Islamic terrorism — he was an English major, for Cthulhu’s sake — is the epitome of opportunism on your part. You are profiting off of the blood of the murdered.

I’d point out you should be ashamed of yourself, but then you are a lawyer…

THE SAME MEDIA THAT ALSO CONSTANTLY SAYS THAT EVERY ISLAMIC ATTACKER IN THE LAST TWO YEARS HAS BEEN “NUTS”–A/K/A SUDDEN JIHAD SYNDROME. THE MUSLIMS WHO ATTACKED THE SEATTLE JEWISH COMMUNITY CENTER, THE JEW AT THE BALTIMORE MOVIE THEATER, THE STUDENTS AT UNC, TROLLEY SQUARE MALL IN UTAH–THEY WERE ALL “NUTS.” AND ALL MUSLIM.

THE ONLY ONE WHO SHOULD BE ASHAMED HERE IS THE ONE WHO IS WILLINGLY WEARING BLINDERS AS HIS/HER NEWEST FASHION ACCESSORY: YOU.
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

Go, sister! We’ve long wanted to mention Sudden Catholic Syndrome, but the media blindly persists in reporting that a person who has sex with a child is a “pedophile,” even when the story doesn’t involve a priest. The only one who should be ashamed here is you. And you and you and you.

 

Must. Find. Muslim. Angle … Aha!

The ‘Costco Coulter’ (hat tip Alex in comments), running out of ways to tie Islam directly to the Virgina Tech Massacre, has discovered a new storyline to push.

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Above: Costco Coulter roxxors teh Foxxors

While at least 32 were murdered in yesterday’s massacre at Virginia Tech University, a lot more could have been killed. But a number of students were spared because of the heroic efforts of Liviu Librescu.

Librescu, a 76-year-old Holocaust survivor and Israeli, was a professor at VTU, yesterday, when the gunman tried to enter his classroom. But he stopped the gunman and saved the lives of his students by jumping in front of him and giving his life.

On the Palestinian side, Jamal Al-Barghouti, a Palestinian Student from the “West Bank” (who grew up in Saudi Arabia) took video of the shooting that made TV worldwide.

His film didn’t save a single person, but he’s getting far more media attention and kudos than the barely-mentioned Librescu is getting. And he used the “opportunity” on CNN, to compare the Virginia Tech massacre to “violence” in the in the “Occupied Territories”. One problem with his story: He grew up in SAUDI ARABIA.

Wondering if he’s related to Palestinian terrorist mastermind Marwan Barghouti, now in prison for planning mass terrorist attacks and homicide bombings, which murdered many Israelis? It’s very likely.

Can you imagine how bizarre it must be to be Debbie Schlussel? To have to deal with what goes through her mind on a daily basis?

Debbie’s brain: That nice Jewish plumber I hired is fixing my sink! On the Palestinian side, nobody’s fixing my sink! I wonder if that no-show plumber is related to Palestinian sink clogging mastermind Clogjam al-Ubend, now blacklisted by the plumbers guild for clogging the sinks of many Israelis? It’s very likely.

 

Thunderstruck!

Shorter Everybody On The Internet

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Above: A bunch of people who are jinxed and owe one another a Coke

  • The senseless massacre at Virginia Tech basically confirms everything I’ve been saying all along.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

 

I Am John Eek

Like clockwork: NYTimes wants more gun control; Like clockwork, Part II: Phelps creeps to protest at funerals
By Michelle Malkin · April 16, 2007 11:44 PM

[…]

Like clockwork, Part II: Reader Sarah writes that those lowlifes of the “Westboro Baptist Church” are planning to show up at the funerals of the murdered VTech kids. (I refuse to link them.)

“(…Because if anyone sends the customary obscene rants and death threats to Fred Phelps’s people, I am so gonna get sued.)”

Coming up: Continuing her total boycott of ever linking directly to a Fred Phelps site, Michelle jumps up and down yelling that a college anti-war group is violently unhinged, and courageously posts the members’ phone numbers.

Then, radiant with bravery, Michelle boldly links to a jihadi website run by Lebanese teenagers 5,000 miles away.

 

Trainwreck In Progress

debbieschlussel.jpg

After a hard day of attempting to blame the VA Tech killings on the International Muslim Conspiracy (the word ‘Asian’ suggesting, to her, a likely MSM code word for ‘Paki’), Debbie Schlussel relaxes by shrieking at her commenters, in her trademark key-poundy all-caps, that she can call the Pakis ‘the Pakis’ any time she feels like it, and WHAT IS THIS–ETHNICITY LESSONS FROM SNOOP DOGG (A/K/A “I CAN CALL THEM HOS AND NIGGAZ BUT YOU CAN’T”)?! UH, SORRY, BUT I DON’T TAKE MY LEXICON AND LINGUISTIC DICTATES FROM YOU. I SUPPOSE NOW YOU’LL BE ATTACKING ME FOR USING THE TERMS CANUCKS, GIRLIE-MEN, AND WIMPS–ALL WHICH LIKELY DESCRIBE YOU. BUH-BYE.

Ms. Schlussel is a Detroit-based attorney.

Update: The ‘HOS AND NIGGAZ’ oration has now disappeared from her comments in accordance with the principle, familiar to all infants, that if something ‘goes buh-bye,’ it ceases ever to have existed. An unknown number of comments critical to Ms. Schlussel have also never existed.

[Hanx! AJB]

 

Shorter LGF Commenters

Mass Murder at Virginia Tech

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  • While it may be premature to assume that the killer was a Muslim jihadi, much blame is due liberals and their anti-gun. . .say, is it just me, or are Asian people actually sort of creepy?

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

 

A conspiracy so stupid…

The last few months have not been kind to our old pal Marie Jon’. Now that Republicans don’t control all three branches of the federal government, Marie’s poor wittle pweisident can’t do whatever the hell he wants anymore. Why, he can’t even fire federal prosecutors for brazenly political reasons without getting subpoenas tossed at him! Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

At any rate, all of the poor wittle pwesident’s wegal twoubles (not to mention his always-shitty job-approval numbers) have really been getting Marie down lately. And by “down,” I mean “she’s completely gone off her nut.” Just take a look at this:

Satan, Islamic terrorists, and the Democrats are out and about

Marie Jon’
March 10, 2007

All human beings are in one way or another involved in a great controversy between Christ and Satan. God’s sovereignty over the universe was put into question a long time ago by a willful defector. The conflict began in heaven when Satan, a created being, was given freedom of choice and squandered it.

Unfortunately, self-exaltation overtook the highest created being’s own downfall. His name was Lucifer. At one time he was a prominent archangel in heaven. He is, to this day, the most beautiful looking fallen angel.

satan2.jpg

Really? Yeesh, Marie. I mean, everyone’s taste is different, but come on

Read the rest of this entry »