Sadly, No!

Giuliani Fundraiser to Charge $9.11 Per Person

WASHINGTON — A supporter of Rudy Giuliani’s is throwing a party that aims to raise $9.11 per person for the Republican’s presidential campaign.

Abraham Sofaer is having a fundraiser at his Palo Alto, Calif., home on Wednesday, when Giuliani backers across the country are participating in the campaign’s national house party night.

But Sofaer said he had nothing to do with the “$9.11 for Rudy” theme.

“There are some young people who came up with it,” Sofaer said when reached by telephone Monday evening. He referred other questions to Giuliani’s campaign.

“I’m just providing support for him. He’s an old friend of mine,” Sofaer said of Giuliani.

Sofaer was a State Department adviser under President Reagan and is a fellow at Stanford University’s Hoover Institution

Giuliani’s campaign had no immediate comment.

According to the invitation, “$9.11 for Rudy” is an “independent, non-denominational grass-roots campaign to raise $10,000 in small increments to show how many individual, everyday Americans support `America’s Mayor.'”

[Hanx! Susan at Kiss My Big Blue Butt]

Update: A golden hit from yesteryear:

Abducting The Tragedy
Jimmy Breslin
February 10, 2002

The Twin Towers Fund has enough money in it, tens of millions of donations that were decently given and are being handled with motives so miserable as to cause suspicion, that it now becomes a mirror as big as a wall that shows the character of this Rudolph Giuliani.

This time, he imposes on widows.

The Twin Towers Fund is for the families of firefighters and cops. It has $70 million and suddenly in December it stopped sending any money to widows. Giuliani announced he wanted to transfer the money from a city-run nonprofit organization to a private organization, headed by I, Giuliani.

I am told that the new mayor, Michael Bloomberg, said, “You’re not going to embarrass me on this.”

And Giuliani answered, “Never!”

Of course he will. The first thing he does is put his girlfriend, Judi Nathan, on the payroll at $100,000 or so. She arrives with two friends. The cost of administrating the fund goes to $2 million a year. If the fund remains with the city, the cost of running it will be zero.

[…]

Giuliani wants this fund so much that he seems crazier than usual. He says he must control it because friends of his made donations and said that they trusted nobody but him. In the whole world. […]

Even more hilarious than the banana video:*

Of course, Gregg Easterbrook thinks objecting to these loons is just “dogmatic science.” So laugh at your own risk.

* Gavin adds: In case anyone found insufficient hilarity in the infamous banana video, here’s what a wild (i.e. not extensively cultivated and hybridized) banana looks like:

Also, I’d like to see those creationist loons explain this:

D.C. Chapter Invited to Meet President Bush at White House Troop Support Event (Photos)

Members of the D.C. Chapter of FreeRepublic.com were invited to the White House today for an event for troop support organizations with President Bush. Other groups included Vets for Freedom (in the beige polo shirts), Families United for Our Troops and Their Mission (in the red polos shirts), Move America Forward, Gathering of Eagles, the American Legion and Veterans of Foreign Wars.

The Gathering of Eagles was only the third-craziest of the interlocking groups at this event, topped by the screechingly dishonest Move America Forward Foundation, and of course the DC Freepers (headed by GoE spokesman Kristinn “Boy Named Sue” Taylor).

Taylor: Meeted teh Preznit

Dai-yee. Snark Armageddon.

Update: Say, apropos that MoveOn.org thing that’s been all over the news lately… What sort (I say) what sort of shameless political thugs would fail to denounce a group that only days earlier had assaulted a Gold Star father um, I mean, taken out a strongly-worded newspaper ad?

Double Update: Via the genius of J-, here’s a transcript and more pix of the event, from the White House web site.

AUDIENCE: USA! USA! USA!

THE PRESIDENT: Thank you all. When the history books are finally written about this chapter in the war against extremists and radicals, they will recognize certain truths: one, that we recognize that if we were to retreat from the Middle East the enemy would not be content to remain where they are, but they would follow us here. We recognize that the best way to protect our homeland is to defeat an enemy overseas so we do not have to face them here on the streets of America.

The ‘war against extremists and radicals’? Facing them ‘on the streets of America’? It seems like we’re hearing some snappy new locutions in this speech to right-wing street-cloggers and taunters — and that there’s no mistaking what they’re supposed to imply. Just thinking out loud here.

Perhaps it’s time to call our pal Confederate Yankee, because his wingnut pals have been passing around doctored photos lately.

This is one of two examples that me and Jillian stumbled across over the weekend. The post, ‘The Face of the Enemy,’ appeared on the Gathering of Eagles site yesterday, and the text reads: “Anyone who was in Washington D.C. last weekend already knows what the aim of the anti-war ‘peace’ movement is. But in case you still don’t get it, here’s an image that should solidify things for you.”

Above: Screen-cap of post

If that Code Pink picture looks a bit whiffy for some reason, it’s because it was Photoshopped by these characters, who also added watermarks to the top left and right edges of the picture.

Above: The same pic (with watermarks) as grabbed from Atlas Shrugs

As ridiculous as the picture is, Gathering of Eagles are only the latest right-wing whoopsie-victims. In July, it fooled Rick “Get a Brain Moran” Moran of Right Wing Nut House:

Scientists Told To Look For Weird Life

[…]

NOTE: The picture that was previously displayed directly above was a photoshop job. Code Pink did not march down a street with a great big sign that said “We Support The Murder Of The American Troops.” The photo was a fake and I apologize to readers for not making that clear.

Then again, what does it say about Code Pink that I saw no reason why they couldn’t have marched down the street with such a sign? Seemed real to me as I’m sure it did to many readers.

That’s funny, because for awhile there, we totally fell for this Photoshop job of Rick Moran robbing a convenience store:

Above (clockwise from l): unidentified, unidentified, ringleader Moran.

What does it say about Rick Moran that he saw no reason why Code Pink wouldn’t call for the murder of troops, AND we saw no reason why he couldn’t have been robbing a convenience store? A good question indeed: Many questions remain about Rick Moran, who is currently unaccused of a string of vicious $40 shotgun robberies, perhaps to feed a meth habit. (Interesting if true!)

But the wingnuts aren’t gobsmackingly stupid and dishonest all the time. Sometimes they compensate for it by being minorly shifty. Yesterday afternoon, the Gathering of Eagles people did that thing they often do, wordlessly scrubbing the inconvenient post and all its comments as though they’d never existed.*

This was bad news for the commenter, Snooper, who also thought the photo was real, and believed it proved something about the “idiot hate spawner personified” Kevin Hayden, who — well, Kevin, if you’re around, please explain about the hatred and the spawning? Surprise to us, to say the least.

Unfortunately for someone, ‘disappearing’ web pages is going to be a lot harder to do with Pt. II of the series. A clue:

* Except for a few comments on a different thread, such as this one by Eagle ‘navairdan,’ who reposted the picture and added:

In addition to the above… the little moonbat brownshirts should know who the beneficiaries are of moveon’s contributions and direction. Moonbats… these people are your side, and you on theirs. You should be proud.. Also, don’t waste your time suggestiong this isnot a real pic, we were all there and saw it and took pics and video.

Oh, well I guess that settles it then.

Double update: Teh fun continues…

I need your help raising money so I can hire a paid thug to slap these guys around some:

Judging by how annoying these two are, I think most thugs would consider it pro bono work. I calculated that it’ll probably take us sixty-five cents. Start saving those pennies, chillens!

UPDATE: Oh hey, it’s Sunday, in’it? You know what that means:

No cameras, no problem. 38-7.

Today we have a special Sunday treat for all you faithful Sadly, No!sians — a “fairy” tale from Pat Boone. And I probably can note, without giving much away, that the villains of this cautionary “fairy” tale are the evil liberals and the heroes are . . . well, you know.

Once upon a time, in a land they called America, a little girl was born. This little girl was so very beautiful, so exceptional, that her loving parents named her Snow White. Truly, her lustrous black hair and limpid dark eyes were the perfect complement to her exquisite ivory skin.

I don’t know about you, but after reading this, I’m not going to be too surprised to see Pat Boone walking through the door in “To Catch a Predator.”

In her early childhood, her parents saw that she was taught all the important things – loving obedience, respect for others, politeness and ladylike behavior, and a childlike faith in God. … Then she met the Seven Dwarfs.

And you can bet your last pair of white bucks that these dwarfs aren’t going to be singing “Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It’s Off to Work We Go!” Nope. It’s “Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It’s Off to Gay Discos We Go!”

They always clustered together, bound by strange, liberal and sometimes seditious beliefs. Some of them were teachers and others members of what was called a “civil liberties union.” … Their names were Sneaky, Dopey, Smarmy, Angry, Sleazy, Grouchy and Dork.

Head, meet Hammer. Hammer, meet Head.

At this point, Pat’s grasp of narrative coherence gets a little tenuous. The Dwarfs go after Snow White’s school and make the teachers “imbibe” a “seductive potion” called the NEA:

Enticed by tempting promises of shorter hours, more money, lifelong tenure unrelated to performance in the classroom and even political clout as a huge voting bloc, the teachers allowed the NEA to drop very important things from the history books, to forbid absolutely any mention of God in the classroom or in essays, to promote all types of sexuality equally, even to grade-schoolers, to dictate that only evolution could be taught to explain the existence of the living world, and in general to erase any consideration of morality and American tradition.

Who knew? If we would just pay teachers less than the minimum wage and then fire ’em all all every couple of years, they would start holding prayer meetings during homeroom and stop teaching evolution. The consequences of all this evolution stuff in school, of course, were dire: Snow White went gay.

When she was barely into her teens, she began to experiment sexually, first with other kids and then with one of her grown teachers. Only later was it revealed that the teacher, a woman, was actually a wicked witch! … Snow White moved in with the wicked witch, eventually claiming to be her “wife.”

Then Prince Charming is seduced by the dwarfs, and, instead of saving Snow White, goes gay too. Then he contracts AIDS and commits suicide. This is not a witty, Sadly, No!esque riposte. It’s what Pat actually wrote.

Well, of course, once Snow White and Prince Charming have gone gay, the world is pretty much going to go al infierno en una cesta de la mano.¹

America steadily fell behind other nations in all areas of learning, and eventually it hardly mattered if she was absorbed into something called a North American Union. This sad attempt to merge all the strengths and weaknesses of Mexico, the U.S. and Canada – became Northern Venezuela.

And there you have it — the true goal of the homosexual agenda is to make the United States a part of Venezuela. How have we all failed to see this?

_________

¹Yes, I know that this is horrifyingly bad and unidiomatic Spanish and that not even President Bush would say this.

Jillian adds: I think we must be sharing a brain today, Clif – I saw this yesterday and knew that it was time to share some more love with Pat around these parts. I’m glad you got to it sooner, though, as your take is definitely funnier than mine.

Except I was going to add this:

I think you’re also nicer than I am.

Above: Wo Ratten auch auftauchen, tragen sie Vernichtung ins Land, zerstören sie menschliche Güter und Nahrungsmittel.

From our good friend at Blue Star Chronicles, Julius Streicher Beth, comes this completely hi-larious cartoon. She calls it “…one of the most accurate portrayals of Iran’s role in the Middle East that I’ve seen”.

It is pretty good. All it’s missing are some references to how Persians have the ability to pass as other, more pure races, or how the Muslim “religion” is nothing more than a doctrine to preserve the Persian race, and we’d be set.

Honestly…….couldn’t you at least be sort of subtle about what you’re trying to do, guys? You’re taking all the challenge out of it for us.

Update: While poking around the mixture of ad content and paeans to the glory that is Germany over at Blue Star Chronicles, I found a link directing me to “Deutschland Erwache!”.

Whoops! Sorry, wrong link. Should’ve been to “Wake Up, America!”. My bad.

It seems as though she’s become the President’s speechwriter – It’s the only explanation for Bush’s latest speech.

Then, pounding his lectern, the president said, “I heard somebody say, ‘Where’s Mandela?’ Well, Mandela’s dead because Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas.” The actual former South African president, of course, is still very much alive.

This is just terrible. Unbearable, really.

Not the utter incomprehensibility of Bush’s statement, no. Just the fact that the mockery possibilities are absolutely endless. I honestly don’t know what to do.

REPORTER: Bring out your dead! Ninepence.

GEORGE W. BUSH: Here’s one.

REPORTER: Ninepence.

NELSON MANDELA: I’m not dead yet!

REPORTER: What?

GEORGE W. BUSH: Nothing. Here’s your ninepence.

REPORTER: ‘Ere. He says he’s not dead!

GEORGE W. BUSH: Yes he is.

NELSON MANDELA: I’m not!

REPORTER: He isn’t!

GEORGE W. BUSH: Well, he will be soon. He’s very ill.

NELSON MANDELA: I’m getting better!

GEORGE W. BUSH: No you’re not. You’ll be stone dead in a minute.

Hm. Let’s try something else.

From beyond the reach of Death’s cold embrace he arose, hungering for the flesh of the living……but only a flesh duskier than his own could quell the restless, endless need to partake of that most evil feast. Saddam Hussein, summoned from the grave to roam eternally as a cursed lich, would only know peace if he were able to consume the flesh of the man of peace himself – Nelson Mandela. Mandela’s only hope lay in the thankless heroics of Commander Codpiece, blessed with an extraordinary vision to see into the vile, necromantic designs of the Evildoer King. Would anyone heed Commander Codpiece’s warning before it was too late to save Nelson Mandela from a fate worse than death itself?

Damnit, this is intolerable. If our President himself is about to collapse into gibbering, incoherent insanity, how the hell is anyone supposed to be able to keep up with the requisite amount of snark for that? I mean, I have a day job. I put these last two gags together in about ten minutes, and I’ve had a handful of Guinnesses already tonight. I’m not even fully paying attention – I’m watching Firefly while I’m doing this, for Heaven’s sake! This is like the motherlode of snark – it’s way too pure for me to handle. I’m afraid that if I don’t get some help here, I might do myself an injury. What’s a girl to do?

On a more serious note – has any other news agency noticed that our President began speaking in tongues at a press conference today? You’d think that might be, y’know, news or something.

Quod McArdle:

Jail the Jena 6

Instapundit and Orin Kerr have been posting about the problem with building a coherent story about what happened in Jena. But this strikes me as the deeper problem.

I got a few emails urging me to wear black yesterday to “Free the Jena 6”. But they shouldn’t be freed. Six guys assaulted one, and after he was lying on the ground unconscious, kicked him repeatedly in the head.* They should go to jail for this.

Above: Members of The Gathering of Eagles surround and kick Gold Star father Carlos Arredondo,
9/15/07 (photo: Hilsdon Photography)

So okay. Now the only question is: Can The Gathering Of Eagles Five** be tried as adults?

*McArdle has since done some research re: this questionable version of the narrative.
**Suggestion: If we’re talking branding, ‘The GOE 5ive’ is funkier, like the kids are into.

Update: Eagle Fred Peterson explains why he went up to the passing Arredondo and snatched away a photo of his son, Marine Lance Corporal Alexander Arredondo (KIA, Iraq, 2004):

I was leaving Capitol Grounds. The activity there had just about ended with the arrest of over 600 provocateurs and agents ‘anti-war’ of violence. There, we Eagles had organized teams of six men – mostly veterans – to protect the safety of Gold Star Moms (and Dads) from the physical threats and insults of hard-edge left socialists, Seattle anarchists, random lefty Raggamuffins and reflexive anti-Americans who made up the ANSWER Coalition …

I had spent the day in the company of an American hero – a youthful Army amputee, who wanted only to rejoin his brothers and renew his sacrifice in defense of country. It was a humbling and inspirational experience, to be in the presence of such selfless virtue in one so young and brave. It invited a camaraderie of high principle and enervated a keen sense of obligation to preserve and protect these worthy veterans from the predations of those lessers who insult their country and cause…

My teams broke up at the Capitol, mission accomplished, and I was walking alone back to the Mall when I saw the photo-image of a proud young Marine in dress blues being held hostage in company not of his own choosing and affixed to a coffin not his own.

The insult to his honor and disrespect to his Corps and cause by his captors was immediately obvious and intended. These same peddlers of provocation are paid to push their coffin-prop all over the country they revile. They subvert a common will and undermine the cause and country for which this hostage-Marine had sacrificed his very life.

The captive Marine was not among his own. He was surrounded and outnumbered by those who shamelessly exploit his image and memory, disgrace his uniform, his brothers in arms, and his willing sacrifice. He would never choose such company. He needed a rescue…

I liberated his image from the midst of the hostile crowd, intending to replace it in a position of honor Arlington, where he would rest with heroes and among his own …I respectfully carried the image of the fallen Marine and was not opposed nor confronted in any way until I has walked perhaps 25 yards down the sidewalk. There, I was attacked without warning and tackled from behind by a demonstrator who crashed into my back at a full run. I went down forward, tearing pants knees and shirt sleeve and five separate wounds requiring hospital attention. The Marine’s image, along with camera and sunglasses were smashed into the pavement. Before I could respond, six or so Eagles-vets were immediately pulling me away from the anti-war attacker.

One Eagle was holding the attacker and yelling, “He’s biting off my arm! I cannot believe this (A-Hole) is biting my arm!” That Eagle also went to the hospital where he was treated and given shots.

Other Eagles separated the two and held the attacker/biter for the police. Police Interviews were conducted and Eagles were asked if they wanted to prefer charges… No charges were filed by Eagles, who are unaccustomed to whining about minor injuries when they stand in defense of larger principles unappreciated – uncomprehended – by their attackers.

Two Gold Star Mothers who witnessed the entire episode and gave police statements said, “I am so proud of what you did! I wanted to do it myself … That coffin is such a disgrace to my son and all the others who have died to help others be free. Thank you so much! It made my day.”

Well, actually, – those few precious words, from one who has given the full measure of issue from her own body to the defense of our country, ‘made my day’ also …

Semper Fidelis.

[…]

Oh, well okay then. They’d organized teams to protect Gold Star parents from attacks, and when none happened, they decided to wander off and attack some Gold Star parents. Because for all they knew, some of these parents might not have had express permission from their dead sons and daughters to carry photographs around, which. . .you know, freedom only goes so far.

I was just explaining this to my friend Kyle. “See,” I said, “It was like the will of the people reached out with the iron glove of justice, eradicating the stain on America’s glory flagrantly committed by the vicious, cowardly traitor who — see, Kyle — dishonestly misappropriated the sacred photo of the fallen hero in order to violently smear patriots with the foul oil-like substance of demented hatred of, see, Kyle, our sacred American honor.”

In other words, it was just one of those misunderstandings that happen when the glory of American patriots is brazenly defiled under the stinking boots of saboteur-traitor vermin and their media lackeys. And you know how wacky those can get!

…some of the music that Germans saw on TV, awhile back, that Americans didn’t:

Wire – ‘Heartbeat’ (2:39), German TV, 1979
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