Please, Not In My Backyard

ABOVE: Ann Leary, the Backyard Conservative


We were saving Ann Leary, the “Backyard Conservative,” for a New Wingut of the Week award,* but her post on the current cover of the New Yorker is too good to pass up:

New Yorker Trashes Obamas

The New Yorker outdoes itself on the sophisticated satire–which is total trash.

Huh? If anyone can figure out what on earth that sentence means when translated into English, please share your thoughts with us in the comments.

I’ll let you view the controversial cover at The Politico. Huffpo reaction here.

And the New Yorker tries to blame it all on us righties.

Which is, of course, completely unfair because no one on the right has suggested the Obama is a Muslim or that Michelle made a terrorist fist jab

This kind of gross stereotypic thinking seems to be a pattern on the left.

But, of course, saying that something is a “pattern on the left” isn’t a stereotype. That is because each conservative has a unique individual voice that springs from the depths of his or her finely-tuned conscience, whereas all liberals are merely automatons parroting the ideas implanted in their brains by the evil liberal press, which, in turn, simply says what George Soros wants it to say.

I do kinda like Michelle’s combat boots though.

You knew this was going to happen, didn’t you? A few crocodile tears and some poutrage from Ann over the idea that wingnuts would ever suggest that Michelle was a terrorist and then, next thing you know, out plops from her mouth what she swore up and down she’d never say. After that, Ann giggles, burps, and blames that little outburst on that second tot of gin she had right after her husband left for work.


*According to the rules of the New Wingnut of the Week award — which have been established by, and are being administered impartially by, Sadly, No!’s New York law firm — no one is eligible for the NWOTW award if they have been mentioned at Sadly, No! prior to the bestowal of the NWOTW award.

 

Somewhat longer Glenn Reynolds

Extending human rights to non-humans

  • I am outraged that anyone would want to extend human rights to apes… Hot sex-bots on the other hand — now that’s a different story…

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Shorter Confederate Yankee

About that New Yorker cover

  • A lot of people are saying that the controversial New Yorker cover is meant to satirize people like me — when really it’s a blisteringly accurate depiction of commie Muslim-lover Hussein Obama X.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


Gavin adds: A lot of people are saying that our various depictions of Confederate Yankee standing in front of Wacky Packages, emitting yar-har sounds, at the wheel of souped-up charcoal grills, and staring aghast at improbable, comedic photo manipulations, are meant to satirize people like us.

When really, etc.

 

Shorter Wes Vernon

vernon.jpg
Above: Wink, wink!

Jesse Helms: Champion Of Liberty (RIP)

  • Greetings from Whitezorr, the whitest all-white planet of the Mayonnaise Cluster, at the pale, pellucid heart of the Honky Nebula. Um, we are unacquainted with these ‘black people’ of whom you speak.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Dudes. Relax.

As someone who reads a depressingly large number of right-wing blogs every day, put me down in the camp that says this New Yorker cover is not at all offensive, but is rather a bloody awesome satire of right-wing assholism:

You’ve got all the bigoted slurs and slanders that have been used by Greater Wignuttia since the start of the campaign:

  • Obama is equated with Osama bin Laden.
  • Michelle Obama is portrayed as a militant anti-American malcontent.

And while there are many, many, many, many, many more examples that they could have picked as well, I think the cartoon on display here ably does the job.

Listen, folks: this is good satire. It mocks the racist right-wing caricature of Obama that I and many of my fellow bloggers have been watching develop in winger blogs and opinion journals over the past year. And if you’re going to confront ugliness and stupidity in our discourse, you have to pull no punches in showing people just how ugly and stupid these creeps are. I say good work, New Yorker.


UPDATE: Melissa writes:

Yeah, I get that it’s satire. But, ya know, maybe it’s, um, a little ahead of its time, given that approximately half the country would forward this picture to a relative with the note: “Even the New Yorker thinks they’re black power terrorists!” without a trace of irony.

Well yeah, the fact that a lot of people are completely fucking stupid is a big problem in this country. But that isn’t something that the New Yorker can fix by printing different covers; hell, I’m sure a lot of my inbred English relatives back in the day thought Mr. Swift was really onto something with his baby-eating plan. That don’t make the satire any less relevant or important.


UPDATE II: Shorter Ole Perfesser Reynolds: “The people who make fun of the racist things me and my buddies say are the REAL racists! Heh!”

 

Shorter Karen Selick

What Ferengis can teach the Supreme Court

Let me tell you about how good it would be for society if it was ok to call Blacks the n-word and Muslims terrorist towel heads.

Bonus Karen:

Food banks are actually a ridiculous idea. […] In Canada, it makes no sense whatsoever. Food is everywhere. Supermarkets plan it that way.

Thanks to Doug for the link.

 

Our national dumbness

Digby peaks peeks* into America’s political soul and finds it stupid:

This makes me sad

by digby

Have we really dumbed ourselves down so much in this country that presidential candidates have to apologize for saying that children should learn things? […]

There was a time when Obama’s comment was considered completely mainstream. It’s true that Americans have never learned new languages easily, but they respected the idea that kids should learn as much as possible so they could better themselves. Clearly Obama didn’t get the memo that we have embraced cretinism and that all knowledge is suspect.

Indeed. Not to get all elitist or nothing, but our culture is fucking stupid. The fact that presidential campaigns gain advantage from attacking their opponents for sounding too smart is one of the most astounding traits of modern American politics. Maybe the Democrats should just nominate Larry the Cable Guy next time to avoid these sorts of controversies in the future. Of course, the Republicans would likely counter with a Boss HoggLloyd Christmas ticket, so what’s the damn point.

*Fixed to appease the usage police. Elitist bastards.


Clif adds:

 

New Wingnut of the Week: GayPatriotWest (UPDATED)

ABOVE: Sole surviving member of the
now-defunct Chickens for Col. Sanders


[Post updated below the fold with an official acceptance speech from this week’s NWOTW]

Meet B. Daniel Blatt, a.k.a. GayPatriotWest, one of the co-bloggers (along with Bruce Carroll, a.k.a. GayPatriot) over at the riotously delusional PJ Media site, Gay Patriot — so-named by this gay duo in order to distinguish themselves from all other gays, who are terrorist-supporting, America-hating, baby-killing, disease-bearing traitors. Dan is winning this week’s NWOTW not for any particular post, but for a cavalcade of unrestrained idiocy that spans hundreds of posts. These posts, as a body of work, demonstrate that there is apparently nothing that the right wing can do, or propose to do, to gays that is appalling enough for him to step back and say “enough is enough.” If the GOP platform proposed the criminalization of gay sex, Dan would, no doubt, defend that by saying that gay sex isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

Dan’s bio is not burdened by many accomplishments. He has apparently been unemployed (or at least underemployed) since graduating in 1994 from the University of Virginia Law School. Instead of becoming a lawyer, Dan decided to move to Los Angeles where he currently writes screenplays that no one wants to produce. (We’ll see why later in this post.) He’s also tried his hand as a reviewer at Amazon under the handle, frodoblatt. His one review, a high-schoolish exercise in the “I really liked it” genre of book criticism, would have prompted me to say, “Dan, don’t quit your day job,” if Dan in fact had a day job.

Actually you have to admire Dan, in some sense, for his ability to contort himself into unusual and painful positions in order to defend even the most odious right-wing calumny against gays. Take this post where he defends the decision of New York prison authorities to stop segregating openly gay inmates from the general prison population where, of course, their butts would get more than just kicked:

But, before breaking the law, these [gay] inmates should have considered that their behavior would likely deprive them of that option [of separate quarters].

ABOVE: GayPatriotWest


And you know, that drag queen really should have considered that she might get a shiv in the back before she wrote that bad check. Not only is that argument just asinine on its face, but sadly, the population that was to be segregated consisted of pre-trial detainees who hadn’t yet been convicted of anything.

Dan also has a big old gay crush on Peggy Noonan, whom — I shit you not — he literally worships and calls the “Goddess Athena.” He got particularly starry-eyed over a column of Peggy’s where she argued that people who were too stupid to leave New Orleans before Katrina struck pretty much got what they deserved.

I doubt that this will provoke a chorus of incredulous gasps from any of you SadlyNauts, but Dan is also opposed to the California Supreme Court decision on gay marriage, likening gay marriage to incestuous marriages. Really:

Marriage has long been more than just a loving relationship. Such a definition would suggest that two friends — or even siblings — could marry.

And you could marry a box turtle or a dead wildebeest for that matter, I suppose.

Read the rest of this entry »

 

Shorter Adam “Crackers” Graham


Above: Sci-fi/fantasy career apparently
includes Logan’s Run cosplay

The Unbalanced Party

  • Wait, wait, here’s one that’ll totally work: Since the Republicans seem somehow to have recklessly blown out the Federal treasury, America simply cannot afford (heh heh) to have Democrats elected to office, for Democrats are not serious about the balanced budgets that we in the conservative (heh heh) majority so unsparingly (heh heh) demand.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


Bonus Shorter Michael Gaynor:


Above: Still haunted by the leprechauns

Blame Dems For The Economy Not Being Better

  • Democrats have plotted to create a recession [voice harshens to a martinet’s bark] in order to make Republicans look bad [waves arms hysterically] during this golden time of economic prosperity [darts from the room looking genuinely frightened].
 

Shorter Warner Todd Huston


Above: Looking surprisingly presentable these days

Feminists Truly Hate Women

  • The execrable so-called “feminists” should devote themselves to the eradication of the Muslim bacillus.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™