“Get your hands off me, you damned dirty ape!”

I think I like this picture of Reynolds the best. That annoyed sneer captures his very essence.

Additionally, what’s with all the posts, Brad? Can’t you give us some Mary Grabar and leave us in peace?

Danger, Will Robinson!

Making the term “human rights” even more devalued than it has already become.

I thought that torture-aggressive-war-spying-apologist winger nutcases would want the term devalued.

Additionally, what’s with all the posts, Brad? Can’t you give us some Mary Grabar and leave us in peace?

Mary Mary sure does Grabar attention.

Waiting for the flood of people who have Google Alerts for “hot sex-bots”.

Which one is Glenn Reynolds? I get them mixed up. Is he the stupid conservative? Or the really stupid conservative? Or the really, really stupid conservative who claims to be a libertarian and then spouts off conservative talking points for 500 words?

Oh, the robot guy. Yeah, I remember him. I put him in Category II because I’m too lazy to come up with more categories.

Will someone please explain to these selfish, whining ass hats that rights are not a limited resource. Extending rights to additional groups will not mean fewer rights for other groups.

Extending rights to previously unprotected groups does take away the rights of the protected class to brutalize and exploit members of the previously unprotected group.

I’m not saying that these particular rights are noble or necessary in any way. I’m saying that the world is full of shitweasels who will fight like cats and come up with the most witless, transparent sophistry to protect even their most brutal, unnecessary, foolish privileges.

They are called conservatives. And they are the biggest whiners in America.

the deeper issue is that “human” rights are evolving to rights due to the property of self-conciousness. in humans that right historically has been assumed a priori, but now it has to be expanded due to advances in science and technology.

Let me point out exactly what it is that Reynolds is objecting to:

If the bill passes — the news agency Reuters predicts it will — it would become illegal in Spain to kill apes except in self-defense. Torture, including in medical experiments, and arbitrary imprisonment, including for circuses or films, would be forbidden.

The 300 apes in Spanish zoos would not be freed, but better conditions would be mandated.

I guess he’s actually offended that apes will now have more rights than anyone lucky enough to be “of interest” to Cheney – but no killing for sport or meat, no torture, no circuses. WTF? This is what he’s objecting to?

Arky, you’re right, but the conferring of rights might lead to something close to equality, ie, an erosion of privilege. Keeping the brutes down is a cornerstone of modern conservative “thought.”

But if we can’t torture apes, then what’s next? An international treaty against torturing humans? Some kind of convention, say let’s hash it out someplace in Switzerland, maybe Geneva? That would be quaint.

“I guess he’s actually offended that apes will now have more rights than anyone lucky enough to be “of interest” to Cheney – but no killing for sport or meat, no torture, no circuses. WTF? This is what he’s objecting to?”

He’s objecting to the fact that HIS humarn right to torture and kill apes (probably for money) is being abrogated. Liberl fascists always abrogate the rights of fellas like teh Perfesser.

It must pain UT that this joker is on board as a law professor. Everything Reynolds hehindeeds about- from banal silliness like this to endorsing Freaking John Yoo!!!- makes it pretty clear that The Ole Perfessor doesn’t have the foggiest clue about, you know, law stuff.

Of course, he is a specialist in space/robot law. Yippee.

You know, in a chess match between Terri Schiavo and a rhesus monkey the monkey’ll at least be able to gnaw on the pieces.

Of course, it may be that primatologists have done enough studies to show that the term human rights is too provincial.

Of course, Instarube is the same legal giant who equates civil rights with being able to masturbate to pictures of more gun shooting victims.

If we can’t torture apes, how can we hope prevent the next terror attack on a major American city? We don’t want the smoking gun to be a deadly hail of flung fecal matter.

What a terrible thing to do to a fine, upstanding robot, stick the head of a really icky human onto of a robot. God, sort of reminds me of the ending of Saturn 3, a perfectly forgettable science fiction movie other than a quick boob shot from Farrah.

To really change the subject, the original Lost In Space robot is in the Sci Fi Hall of Fame and Museum in Seattle, right next to the Experience Music Project under the Space Needle. All the cast members (Billy Mumy!!) signed the back of the robot. He is standing there, next to a replica of Robbie the Robot, trading quips with each other. The Queen Mother from Aliens is right next to them. Really nasty looking beastie, I must admit. Lots of teeth.

I guess this bumper sticker has been around for a while, but I just saw it for the first time this morning driving into downtown Portland. It seems somehow appropriate for this discussion.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/msneato/2270389774/

<IArky – Chuthuhlusexual said,
July 14, 2008 at 19:22

Will someone please explain to these selfish, whining ass hats that rights are not a limited resource. Extending rights to additional groups will not mean fewer rights for other groups.

Actually I think it does. I think with the more that rights are extended, the more responsibility everyone else has to respect those rights. And we all know how much wingers and libertarians like CyberGlenn HATE to be responsible for anything beyond their own pleasure.

So no more getting your rocks off by treating blacks, gays, women like punching bags because there are now repercussions, and that eats into their cherished notion of a god given right to be an asshole and be thanked for it by lesser peoples.

To really change the subject, the original Lost In Space robot is in the Sci Fi Hall of Fame and Museum in Seattle, right next to the Experience Music Project under the Space Needle. All the cast members (Billy Mumy!!) signed the back of the robot. He is standing there, next to a replica of Robbie the Robot, trading quips with each other. The Queen Mother from Aliens is right next to them. Really nasty looking beastie, I must admit. Lots of teeth.

the Sci-Fi Museum needs some new stuff in it, maybe a new Dalek and something from Firefly or Stargate. And some new ships in the ship yard viewer.

God I’m a nerd.

The bill bans using apes for commercial purposes. No profit? Glib-bot Reynolds does not compute.

I hope the apes (and/or robots) will grant *us* rights.

Actually thinking about this whole robot-monkey thing has helped explain to me why right-tard grammar is so atrocious. You try writing the following post:

Spain gives monkeys human rights – Spains got a lotta Mooslems – thuslyforth Senator Blackie Hussein must be Muslim!

Not easy. But, now that it’s been Reynolds wrapped, maybe some brave keyboard kommando’s already on the task.

OKie, too many inside jokes. What’s with this aware of internet traditions shit? I follow the link, but are you really continually referencing that one comment?

are you really continually referencing that one comment?

Yeppers

I for one will welcome our feces-flinging masters…

well. I mean the Ape-based ones. The ones we have now do pretty well flinging feces, I guess.

One can at least welcome the change in feces being flung.

umm, spam filter HATED the word I originally typed in lieu of ‘feces’

are you really continually referencing that one comment?

Not all that inside.

NutellaonToast, I think Smut Clyde’s comment from last month gets at the rationale.

Glenn needs to drop by the Blood Clot Bar in Butte some night. I suspect the biker-denizens there would force him to entertain them by having sex with the bar’s vintage jukebox (which is a more painful experience than you might imagine).

Holy shit Hoosier X, that was the most apt, concise and spot-on defintion of a conservative I’ve ever read, nice job.

This whole concept of giving “human rights” to non-human primates is an example of folly at its most absurd.

I agree that animals should be treated humanely but giving them equality to them cheapens human life making them in effect no higher than a clam or a mouse.

The very fact that humans have language, civilizations and technology proves that we are inately superior to animals in both intelligence and natural worth.

God created humans with souls, animals have none. While God wants animals to be treated with respect, He also give mankind dominion over them meaning we are free to eat them for food, hunt them for sport (hunting and fishing being two of my favorite pastimes) and use them as any other renewable resource.

That they should treated humanely because of their status as higher than plant life is unquestioned, however to give them equal rights to humans does nothing but cheapen human life and infringe on the rights of men such as I mentioned earlier about hunting and fishing.

“cheapens human life making them in effect no higher than a clam or a mouse.”

Making human life no more valuable than that of a clam or I mouse I should say.

I’m saying that the world is full of shitweasels who will fight like cats and come up with the most witless, transparent sophistry to protect even their most brutal, unnecessary, foolish privileges.

How dare you speak of marriage that way!

(Tee hee.)

This whole concept of giving “human rights” to non-human primates is an example of folly at its most absurd.

Erik, are you arguing that clams and mice should be classified as primates?

Chimpanzees are 99% identical to humans at the genetic level. They are no more closely related to clams or mice than we are. The real irony is that until recently, conservatives were very happy to cheapen human life to the level of a primate if that human happened to have dark skin.

That they should treated humanely because of their status as higher than plant life is unquestioned, however to give them equal rights to humans

“Equal rights” is used in the NYT article to spark interest more than anything.

All I know is that the clams who run the corner store take forever to ring up a goddamned slurpee let alone a basket full of groceries.

“The very fact that humans have language, civilizations and technology proves that we are inately superior to animals in both intelligence and natural worth.”

Teh very fact that we have used said language, civilizations, and technology over and over again to slaughter vast numbers of humans, or when we’re not doing that exploiting similar vast numbers becasue there is money in it – tends to undercut the argument somewhat – hell I’d like us to treat all humans equally. That would be a damn first.

Erik, are you arguing that clams and mice should be classified as primates?

That was a typo as I posted above, I meant that by giving primates equal rights with humans cheapens human life, making human life no more valuable than the life of a clam or mouse.

I do however believe that animals including clams and mice have more natural worth than any of the Al Queda terrorists we currently have detained at Guantanamo Bay. By their actions of terrorism they have forfited their natural human rights to be treated humanely and thus it is prefectly acceptable to torture and execute them.

I do however believe that animals including clams and mice have more natural worth than any of the Al Queda terrorists we currently have detained at Guantanamo Bay. By their actions of terrorism they have forfited their natural human rights to be treated humanely and thus it is prefectly acceptable to torture and execute them.

Sigh. Low-hanging wax fruit

By their actions of terrorism they have forfited their natural human rights to be treated humanely and thus it is prefectly acceptable to torture and execute them.

That’s pretty good Erik. I know that you’re feeling threatened by Randal, super teacher, but ya don’t have to bust out the weapons grade batshit yet. There’s lots of room left to play with your use of clams.

BTW, even the hater-est of ya h8ters have to admit that this Monkee deserves human rights.

Heh, heh. RB used clam and Slurpee in the same sentence. </Beavis>

God created humans with souls, animals have none.

My late (and exceedingly great) German Shepherd had an extraordinary, Andy Kaufmanesque sense of humor and an emotional sensitivity that made the humans around her seem like doltish idiots. She delighted in showing her remarkable grasp of the english language in a game where we would call out descriptions of her fifty or so toys, sometimes differentiated only by color, and she would unerringly pull them out of the pile until we were exhausted with laughter and amazement. I will never have a more loving and loyal friend, or one who will find more joy in delighting me. In more instances than I care to write or you’d care to read, she wasn’t simply the equal of humans, but superior to them. Of the few things I’ve actually been to learn in my life, one of the most important is this: if humans have “souls”, so do animals. Those humans who are incapable of recognizing this simple fact are particularly dull-witted and should probably be regarded as being developmentally retarded. You seem to enjoy spouting words, you might try actually reading what you’ve written before posting nonsense like “animals don’t have souls”.

as always, invocation of the great Sky Santa is used to short-circuit opposition to an unsupportable argument.

paraphrasing the late Geoerg Carlin (missing him more than ever):

Name six ways humans are superior to apes. You can’t do it! That’s because apes are good people.

“Name six ways humans are superior to apes.”

1. language.
2. Civilization.
3. Culture.
4.Technology.
5. Reasoned thought.
6. Art.

God created humans with souls, animals have none.

The book of Job posits that God loves ostriches more than any other animal. I sincerely doubt you’ve actually read the Bible, so you wouldn’t know that; but you could save us all a lot of trouble by not pretending to care about that God business.

Great ape citizenship is pretty long overdue, but it’s a small wonder it’s so hard to get it past people who think a blastocyst or a mechanically living corpse is a human being endowed with the full dignity of creation but an Arab with the same name as a terrorist from the 90s isn’t.

1. language.
Apes exhibit a capacity for language, with several children of the original language experiment apes exhibiting their own variations on sign language (which, in humans, is as natural a language as English). Their language skills are far cruder than ours, but you don’t see us torturing stutterers.
2. Civilization.
Civilization is the simian grouping instinct left to ferment. The great apes are as civilized as human beings were a million years ago with greater relative brain capacity.
3. Culture.
Apes exhibit cultural transmission, especially hominids.
4.Technology.
The great apes, especially hominids, have made breathtaking advances in technology in recent history. Certain tribes of chimpanzees are known to create and use wooden spears.
5. Reasoned thought.
A mouse can be taught to figure out simple puzzles. It goes without saying that the higher reason which man is capable of is present pretty much universally among the great apes.
6. Art.
Has also been observed of apes.

<obligatory Adams>

NARRATOR It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance — on the planet Earth Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much. . . the wheel, New York, wars, and so on, whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely the dolphins believed themselves to be more intelligent than man for precisely the same reasons. Curiously enough the dolphins had long known of the impending demolition of Earth and had made many attempts to alert mankind to the danger; but most of their communications were misinterpreted as amusing attempts to punch footballs or whistle for titbits, so they eventually gave up and left the Earth by their own means shortly before the Vogons arrived.

The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double backwards somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the “Star Spangled Banner,” but in fact the message was this: ‘So long and thanks for all the fish.’ In fact there was only one species on the planet more intelligent than dolphins, and they spent a lot of their time in behavioral research laboratories running round inside wheels and conducting frighteningly elegant and subtle experiments on man. The fact that once again man completely misinterpreted this relationship was entirely according to these creatures plans. Arthur Dent’s current favourite fact is that life is full of surprises.

</obligatory Adams>

(that’s the Narrator’s intro to the last bit of Fit the Third, right after the Slartibartfast gag, for readers listening along at home)

Wingnuts regard everything as limited! Because their intelligence is.

As I always say:

If a person cannot expand their consciousness to comprehend the Divine, they will shrink the Divine to fit their limited conception.

All else flows from this.

As I always say:

It’s true. Every thread, there’s WereBear going on about epistemology this and teleology that. No wait, that’s not true at all. Damn you for fooling me yet again.

PENIS

All else flows from this.

And where does this flow from? Wait, let me guess! A giant tortoise. I’m right, aren’t I?

nicely riposted alec.

Couldn’t have said it better myself. Anyone who assumes we are superior to animals because we have managed to develop a rudimentary skill set is missing the point.

pedestrian:

Turtles all the way down!

“Name six ways humans are superior to apes.”

1. language.
Which can be used to wound curse at people or whip up crowds to an murderous frenzy – advantage apes
2. Civilization.
Used as an excuse to dominate, enslave or simply slaughter members of a their own or another civlization – advantage apes
3. Culture.
Again used as an excuse to impose one’s will upon others as in “they have no culture the savages” advantage apes
4.Technology.
used to improve killing ablity
5. Reasoned thought
All to often used as a tool to make excuses for horrible behavior – wittness our angels on the head of a pin discussion about torture. i have never seen an ape waterboard someone.
6. Art.
Kind of a wash here – for every Goya’s the horror’s of war you have a Kipling talking about picking up the white man’s burden.

all these things are tools – to be used for good or ill – a hammer can be used to build a house or crush a skull – it’s how we use all this that counts – just because we have them doesn’t necessarly give us a gold star from sky daddy.

Yawn! Eric needs to find another playground for a few months, work on his indignant conservative schtick before he comes back here again. It seems like he’s not even trying, or perhaps is just not particularly bright. In any case BO-RING!

Yeah, go ahead, give those apes some rep. Yeesh, has this guy ever NOT gotten all het up over anything? It’s alright, Glenn-Bot, noone will ever find out about that embarrassing tryst between you & that lovely little baboon back in the Science Labs …
Gee, Reynolds really must take pride in those posts, huh? All that time & effort, to stay true to his talent … & always so cutting-edge too! I mean, what could possibly be more important in America right now, than the granting of some legal rights to apes in Spain? Man must have a mind like a steel trap, to hunt down these vital news items & share them with a waiting world.

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