Sadly, No!

The Tautology of Hope [Mark Hemingway]

I’m pretty sure this is photoshopped, but either way it says volumes about Obama’s vapid sloganeering:

Oho. Well. If that’s the level to which the National Review is reduced these days, then we’re pretty sure this is Photoshopped, but either way it says volumes about…

Above: Mark Hemingway

Okay wait, let’s make it extra funny.

Above: Mark Hemingway

No wait, hang on.

Above: Mark Hemingway

Because it… Okay, here.

Above: Mark Hemingway

Like Roy, we await our worthy opponents’ rejoinder.

Clif adds:

The Washington Times (America’s shittiest newspaper®) shows it’s the go-to place for fine analysis of all budget and deficit-related matters. Especially when William F. Shughart II, the F.A.P. Barnard Distinguished Professor of Economics at the University of Mississippi [!!!] is writing.

In February, the $175.6 billion deficit was a single-month record, 46 percent higher than the previous single month high (in February 2007), and nearly $14 billion more than the deficit for all of fiscal 2007, which ended last Sept. 30.

We’ve seen a lot of nonsense written about the deficit, but this is the first time we remember someone going on about the monthly deficit. Because once you start doing that, hilarity ensues. Such as us commenting that the government’s finances are in great shape because it ran a surplus of $159 billion in April. Why — that pretty much cancels out February’s deficit! Hooray!
Read the rest of this entry »

Shorter Powerline:

Blowing The Whistle On Global Warming

• Say, check out this op-ed in The Australian. While I have not checked the author’s credentials,¹ and am unable to evaluate any of his claims,² it clearly proves that global warming is a fraud.³

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

¹ As we have so fulsomely seen, David Evans is not in fact a ‘rocket scientist,’ nor even a scientist at all, but worked as a consultant for the Australian Greenhouse Office as a C++ programmer.
² Cf.
³ Mr. Hinderaker of Powerline (à la manière de Thers):

It’s been three days since the Evans/Monckton post brought humiliation raining down on their heads like a Fortean shower of garden rakes, and apparently, Ace of Spades HQ has fallen for another anti-global-warming op-ed in the Murdoch-owned paper, The Australian:

AGW treacherously hides evidence of itself
—Purple Avenger

Its a devious and cunning wizard donning what appears to be a +9 cloak of invisibility to work its satanically inspired world destroying magic.

…1. The greenhouse signature is missing. We have been looking and measuring for years, and cannot find it…

…2. There is no evidence to support the idea that carbon emissions cause significant global warming. None…

…3. The satellites that measure the world’s temperature all say that the […]

Oh no wait, holy God, they’ve just fallen for the same David Evans op-ed again.

Um, this is understandable, since the page at The Australian‘s website currently has the date, ‘July 18’ — and how should they be expected to know that all the sciencey-looking stuff is actually, like, the same sciencey-looking stuff as before?

This is becoming like one of those rumored Native American festivals in the Pacific Northwest where everybody got together and burned all their stuff in a huge bonfire.

Update: Back to Christopher Monckton briefly, here’s the press release from the Science and Public Policy Institute (Chief Policy Advisor, Christopher Monckton) that made all those false claims that were so disastrously picked up by Matt Drudge, DailyTech, and the entire right-blogosphere.

Here, posted yesterday, is their republishing of the David Evans ‘report.’

There ought to be a timeline of this fascinating and quickly-unfolding affair. Let’s see what we can do over the next couple of days.

ABOVE: Roger F. Gay

---

Finding a wingnut living in Sweden is probably the rough equivalent of finding a healthy, low-calorie meal on Jonah Goldberg’s dinner plate. But our NWOTW, Roger F. Gay, apparently does live in Sweden and either keeps his mouth shut among the Swedes or else he probably gets pummeled by snowballs each time he ventures out to see if his neighborhood Pressbyrån has finally started stocking Ranch-flavored Doritos and Three Musketeers candy bars. My guess is that he walks around Stockholm covered in snowball splatter.

Roger’s résumé doesn’t reveal why he decamped from Texas to Sweden, but he has spent a fair amount of time writing articles from Sweden about how deadbeat dads get a raw deal. So you can draw your own conclusions. Roger’s other obsession, beyond disproving the existence of deadbat dads, is disproving the existence of global warming, which he also believes is a creation of the liberal media. Although his training is in bioengineering, he fancies himself something of an expert in climatology and is one of the signers of the Manhattan Declaration along with the 600 other ‘scientists’ whose only experience in climatology was apparently limited to learning how to operate an umbrella.

Several posts from Roger were responsible for our award of the coveted prize to him. First, Roger hit it out of the park with his latest column for Men’s News Daily, entitled, “Norway Should Apologize for the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize.”

Last December, the Norwegian Nobel Committee, a group of government appointees, awarded the Nobel Peace Prize to the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) and former US Vice President Al Gore, “for their efforts to build up and disseminate greater knowledge about man-made climate change, and to lay the foundations for the measures that are needed to counteract such change.” It was like openly declaring that the Nobel prize for peace had become the Nobel prize for lying.

Okay, Roger, why don’t you explain that to us? We’re all ears.

The Norwegians jealously control the peace prize, based on no particular reason.

Other than, perhaps, the last will and testament of Alfred Nobel.

It is not up to me to decide who receives it, …

Although my guess is that Robert Mugabe is the only person on Roger’s short list.

… but when its influence is used to foster ignorance, poverty, and war, the world should pay attention and respond. The climate change propaganda that has floated on the efforts of Al Gore and the IPCC poses such a threat.

You may have missed it, but Slovenia just declared war on Bosnia over whether Al Gore is right and whether anthropogenic global warming is a fact or a myth.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion. I know that. But the influence of The Prize bolstered efforts to force political indoctrination in schools in several countries. Al Gore’s “An Inconvenient Truth” threatens death to children and all around them if they do not immediately join the cult.

Last week there were reports that an Al Gore Death Squad abducted three children from a home in Indianapolis and shot them in ditch outside town. Only one of the three questioned global warming; the crime of the other two was simply being in the house for a sleepover when the Gore death squads arrived.

Gay’s article on the latest musings of the Third Viscount Monckton of Brenchly provides many moments of hilarity, starting with this:

A mathematical proof that there is no “climate crisis” has been published in debate on global warming in a major scientific journal

It’s amazing the empirical conclusions that can be drawn from “mathematical proofs.” No doubt Gay will next reveal to an astonished world that a series of equations proves that homosexuality is a personal lifestyle choice.

Finally we would be remiss if we didn’t point out this nugget in a column by Gay entitled “Is Hillary Clinton Abusing YouTube?“:

One of the greatest offenses a political candidate can perpetrate is abuse of the internet [sic].

And apparently the abuse of the Internet by Hilary is that her campaign posted videos on YouTube. Frankly it strikes me that Gay is in no position to accuse anyone else of abuse of the Internet.

Roger reads and responds to the comments to his posts over at Men’s News Daily. Just saying.

Little Debbie’s been busy. Here are some shorters:

‘Why Are Muslims @ the Border So Protective of Their Electronics?’

• Muslim immigrants have no right to complain about being treated with suspicion at border checks, because everyone knows that an inherent characteristic of their tribe is a compulsion to mass murder.

Above: “GTFO, Ahmed! An’ take your text messages
of mass destruction with ya!”

‘Big Brother Now in Your Printer’

• I’m Big Brother’s friend when it comes to spying on citizens I happen to dislike, but when computer printers can be used to spy on everyone — including conservative bloggers who like to send anonymous nastygrams to political organizations — then I discover a new appreciation for the right to privacy.

‘Jesse Jackson: Jealous But Playing His Role for Obama’

• Behold the great Negro Conspiracy: Jesse Jackson and Barack Obama planned the whole thing, just to make Obama look less scary. But they can’t fool me. We’re through the looking-glass here, people.

‘Pop Star Tells of Black on Light-Skinned Racism’

• Dark-skinned black people mistreat light-skinned black people! So just imagine what they’ll do to white people if given the chance!

‘Scary Claim: More Than 1/2 U.S. Troops in Iraq Raised on Springer, Marilyn Manson, Hip-Hop’

• The notion that the cultural preferences of U.S. soldiers are typical working-class American rather than cornball Virgin-Ben-esque wingnut, is deeply troubling to me.

Above: Voice like a constipated goose being
slowly electrocuted by a crank telephone,
and her writing is even shriller.

‘Do You Wear an “Obamaka”?: Fashion Tips for Liberal Jews Who Support Barack Hussein’

• I have a few suggestions for Jews who support Obama and therefore by definition are traitors to their own tribe, self-loathing Hebrews, and de facto anti-Semites.

Bonus funny in that post: Debbie gets pre-emptive! “[A] special shout out to my vegan-trisexual-multi-racial-PETA-anti-nuke-communist-raw-foodist-9/11-trutherist-Brangelina-fan “friends” at the Nazi-funded Media Matters for America, who are monitoring this site, and who I’m sure will whine and over-react on their site about these Obamaka choices, the way they did with my Valentine’s Day candy hearts.”

‘Do They Wear Obamakas, Too?: The Rabbis @ the “Saudi” “Interfaith” “Tolerance” Confab’

• Oh, look! More Jewish race-traitors! ZOMG-d they are actually shaking hands with the Elders of Islam!

‘”Mamma Mia!”? More like Homo Mia: Former James Bond Falls Far in Painful Movie Aimed at Gays, Women; Feminist Attack on Batman’

• Mamma Mia is yet another crappy film produced by a conspiring group of fags and sluts who want to sabotage America by sapping its masculinity.

‘Weekend Box Office: Great/Violent “Dark Knight,” Homo Mia!, Fat Muslim Cheating/Agit-Prop Flick, Charming Senior Love Story, Cool Murder Mystery’

• Any movie that would show Muslims as being anything better than subhuman sociopaths is not just fiction but flagrant propaganda; but mild props to whoever cast the disgusting fatsos in Brick Lane — at least they got the loathsome physical appearance of Muslims right.

‘Stuff I Really Like: A New Feature’

• Here’s a new gimmick to fatten the ol’ Schluss Fund: send me free shit, and I’ll review it on my website, suckers.

‘Stuff I Really Like: The SUMO Omni’

• Debbie Does the SUMO! And likes it! Priced at only $149, it’s practical and affordable! It’s hard to imagine a more versatile piece of furniture: whether you’re munching Cheetos, chewing tobacco, daydreaming about exterminating Muslims and Liberals, or fapping to pictures of our flightsuited Preznit’s bulge, the SUMO is ideal for all your sitting needs! And when the moment comes that there are too many moonbats in the nation’s belfry, the SUMO is light and portable enough for any patriotic wingnut to haul up the nearest clocktower without having to make another trip for the 30.06! $149! Order one today!

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

The corrections have been coming in after the entire right-blogosphere swallowed a phony story that the American Physical Society had changed its position on global warming. Ace of Spades HQ got in early (and they hate us a lot), so let’s visit them first:

Internal Disagreement at APS
—Gabriel Malor

Or, in other words, “External Disagreement About APS.” Titles are crucial; get a good title and you’re halfway there. Another one might be, “Who Can Say For Sure That There Isn’t Some Internal Disagreement at APS,” or possibly, “Are You There, God? It’s Me, Malor.”

On Thursday, I told you about the American Physical Society’s new-found recognition that there is a “considerable presence” of skepticism within the scientific community of anthropogenic global warming. (A day earlier than most other political blogs noticed, I might add; AOSHQ: where you either get the news first or months late!) APS is now presenting articles in its magazine and on its website which debate the question. But it turns out that APS is not quite ready to admit that the global warming consensus is crumbling.

In other words, a single newsletter by one of 39 subgroups of the APS featured ‘articles which debate the question,’ with a big disclaimer in red text at the top of the page — while the position of the APS has not changed even one tiny bit. In related news, it turns out that NASA is not quite ready to admit that the moon is made of cheese.

In just two days this thing has turned into an embarrassment for just about everyone.

That’s what I’m going to say the next time I’m walking down the street and slip in some poo and then wear it on my pants for two days. I’ll stand up and explain, “All this slipping in poo by just about everyone has really made a mess of just about everyone’s pants.”

See, that’s a sneaky way of spreading blame around without anyone knowing that it’s really you who are quote-unquote “to blame!” It’s like that poem:

This Is Just To Say

Just about everyone has eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast.

Forgive just about everyone
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold.

APS has “reaffirmed” its position on anthropogenic global warming;

Moreover, APS has “reaffirmed” its “position” on anthropogenic so-called “global warming.”

it turns out that the Physics and Society magazine and online forum is the only component that wants to have this debate.

I.e., when he originally linked to the Forum on Physics and Society, he didn’t even know what he was linking to.

APS’s controlling body is taking action to straighten things out. As a result, I’d say the organization as a whole is about to lose some credibility:

Wow. Just wow.

What follows is a rapidly ginned-up controversy in which Lord Monckton, the wingnut and imposter (Monckton falsely claims to have shared the Nobel Prize with Al Gore, and to be a member of Parliament) who authored the disclaimed, red-texted paper, and (get this) who apparently fed the fake story to DailyTech in the first place, complains that he was treated unfairly. We also find Monckton cc-ing emails to Jonah Goldberg.*

Yes indeed, someone is about to lose some credibility. But as the wingnuts know, if they howl and carry on with enough wounded abjection, some observers will think that the loser in this affair is the American Physical Society.

Tim Lambert at Deltoid has some details on Monckton’s paper, and on the op-ed in The Australian that Mallor cited as his other piece of evidence that, in his words, the ‘global warming hoax is slowly coming apart.’ For more context, here’s our original Shorter, with cites and links.

Initial whoopsie! score: 6 out of 10.
Adjustments: +2 for zeal and boasting.
Punk-out score: 8 out of 10.
Adjustments: -1 because Monckton is providing effective smoke screen.
Total: 7.5 out of 10.

Next customer: Glenn “Instapundit” Reynolds.

Update: It would only be right to assist in the burdens of our right-wing colleagues, so instead of just pointing and laughing like lesser souls might do, we will also help supply them with appropriate corrections.

Ace of Spades HQ:

[ahem]

“Regarding the story, “Blar-har-har! The Wheels Are Coming Off The Global-Warming Fraudmobile” in our edition of 7/16/08, we were too eager to credit a story that the APS has changed its position on bla-bla, and whatever it said, and we will be more careful to evaluate such claims in the future — especially when they originate with the titanically crapulent Christopher “The Duke and/or Dauphin” Monckton or Michael “The Trasher” Asher, who have burned us once and shall not burn us again. We are sorry for the etc., kthxbai. >^..^< " They can use that if they want to, but they can't change the 'kthxbai' or the emoticon kitty.

* Correction: The email came from the anti-environmental activist Benny Peiser.

ABOVE: Jennifer Rubin

---

Over at Neocon-mentary’s craptacular blog “Contentions,” the preposterous Jennifer Rubin is (once again) playing “Heads I win, tails you lose” with Obama, which has pretty much been the favorite parlor game of neocons this campaign season.

Yesterday: “Heads, I win“:

Not many pundits think it was smart of Barack Obama to try to lock in his position before going to Iraq. … If he wants to prove the critics wrong, he’ll ask some real questions of commanders on the ground and the Iraqi leaders. Then he’ll use that information to seriously re-examine the policy fantasyland he has constructed for himself.

Today: “Tails, you lose“:

We have been wondering how Barack Obama would get by overseas with unscripted moments, in new settings to which he is unaccustomed. I think I have it: he isn’t going to speak in public unless it is scripted. Today from Afghanistan: “I’m more interested in listening than doing a lot of talking.” … It could be percevied [sic] as having to handle topics he is ill-equipped to opine upon, with no teleprompter. … In other words he’s there to look around and take some pictures to show back home. Is he on a tourist visa?

If Obama says anything about Iraq, before he goes over there to ask questions, Obama is criticized for constructing a fantasyland for himself. Then when he goes over to asks questions and listen to the answers rather than talk, he’s “on a tourist visa.”

It goes on and on with these people.

If Obama doesn’t wear a flag pin, he’s an unpatriotic terrorist. If he does wear one, he’s an insincere political manipulator.

If he admits that his father was a Muslim, he’s the “the first Muslim President.” If he says that he’s not a Muslim but a Christian, he’s kicking a billion Muslims under the bus.

Aarghh. If I could just set the flux-capacitor to November 5, 2008, I would in a heartbeat, just to make all this stop.

America’s third shittiest website® offers us another edition of Great Moments.

First up, Great Moments in irony. — Henry Lamb, July 18, 2008:

The grand prize for idiotic predictions in the 21st century has already been claimed by Al Gore.

Henry Lamb, May 24, 2008:

The inevitability of world government

Second comes Great Moments in Exaggeration:

Al’s crushing defeat in 2000 left him rudderless for a few years

Read the rest of this entry »

I laughed my ass off when I saw this in the Boston Phoenix yesterday:

Matt Bors is a pretty funny dude.

Gavin adds: Um, I would very strongly prefer that we not post copyrighted cartoons, especially from a local newspaper whose staff is among our readership.