Sadly, No!

One has to feel a kind of sympathy for wingnuts like Donald Douglas. It took the Right five long decades of trial-and-error to conclude that publicly trading in racial slurs was a self-defeating strategy … only to discover that the goalposts have been moved. That even when you scrupulously avoid using the word ‘nigger’ in the course of instructing Teh Blacks as to what’s good for them … it does not automatically immunize your argument in the marketplace of ideas.

And now, to add insult to injury, the very same people who invented the single, non-negotiable criterion for determining the inherent racism of a given sentiment — whether it references watermelons or not — flout that very rule with impunity.

It’s just not fair.

It’s downright vexing, to be honest. You humored the black hive mind when it indicated a certain hostility to Confederate flags and Sambo jokes. You spent long, thankless years purging your vocabulary of epithets that would directly offend, developing instead a second-order language of codes and inferences that would simultaneously protect the simple-minded collective from verbal injury while communicating important matters to your peers.

And that’s not all. You’ve worked very hard to hone your value proposition to the dusky vertical, to persuade that demographic that its interests better synergize with your conservative outlook than with the liberal agenda. Take fags … please! We conservatives hate ’em too, you patiently explain. Also, Larry Elder! Thomas Sowell! Bill Cosby! Star Parker! Does the Left have an equivalent roster of genuine African-American scolds who so tirelessly browbeat blacks as a class with such naked relish? Hardly! And how, you wonder, is this not a winning formula for wooing those same blacks to your cause?

Yet somehow, beyond all earthly reason, it is not. And that hurts.

H/t: Roy

… because the sub shop ran out of meatballs. But in other news Manny Ramirez was busted for PEDs. Thus …

Shorter Jayson Stark:
Forget Manny, don’t forgive him

• This is Manny Ramirez. This is Manny Ramirez on drugs. What a total douchebag! This is Andy Pettitte on drugs. I totally forgive him! Blah blah blah Roger Clemens. See, it’s not a race thing! Hrm hum haw … OJ!

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

Left to right: Seth Leibson, Kathryn Lopez, Carrie Prejean, and Miss Gay Rhode Island

Describing the horrors perpetrated on poor Miss Prejean by the vicious gay cabal was too big a job for one woman, so K-Lo enlisted the help of wingnut-welfare recipient Seth Leibsohn to do the subject justice. And justice they did in a tour-de-force titled “Nekkid in the Nekkid Public Square”

We both worried when Miss California showed up at a press conference for our friends at the National Organization for Marriage (NOM). It was hard to believe the gay-marriage proponents would let this brave young woman get away with her free exercise of free speech without some serious retribution. Already, as a NOM commercial on the Prejean incident was released, a story about her implants was leaked. And, of course, that was only the beginning of the character assassination to come.

In rapid succession the gays leaked stories about her orthodontic treatments, several tooth-whitening sessions, a couple of trips to the beauty salon which added some highlights to her hair, a Brazilian she got before the pageant, and — horror of horrors — a manicure and pedicure which added artificial gloss to her nails. When that didn’t work, the gays went nuclear:

The latest on Carrie Prejean is that she evidently posed semi-topless for a lingerie commercial when she was 17 (a little over four years ago); those photos have been anonymously released to embarrass her and attempt to remove her title of Miss California-USA.

Although this horrifying, semi-nude, no-nipple titty pic was anonymously released, K-Lo and that dreamboat Seth (whom K-Lo wishes she could see semi-nude) are positive that the gays were behind it, mostly because there has never been an incident in the history of beauty pageants where one contestant released dirt on another contestant.

[N]ote what the movement of tolerance does when you simply exercise your rights to free speech, taking a position they disagree with. They go personal. They go for the jugular. They try to embarrass and humiliate you. They will stop at nothing not only to discredit but absolutely destroy you.

If the gay mafia stops at nothing, it’s a bit odd, n’est-ce pas, that the only things revealed were, um, actually true. I mean, where are the photoshopped images of Miss Prejean in a three-way with a randy goat and a meth-crazed lesbian hooker? Where are the drag queens with eye-witness testimony that Miss Prejean started out as a female impersonator in a gay bar in Sacramento before doing hormone treatments and getting her willie snipped off? Lopez and Leibsohn obviously have had no experience with a gay man who will stop at nothing.

Those who advocate gay marriage and responsible dialogue and debate ought to take a stand against this kind of scorched-earth politics. The strategy of demonizing individuals only serves to underscore the encroachments on religious liberties that have been integral to the gay-marriage movement’s policy successes in state after state.

I’m sort of confused here, but if there is a church where breast implants and semi-nude photos are an integral part of its faith, I really want to join. I’ve had some fun as a Gaypiscopalian but the wildest we ever get is an extra glass of sherry after the Eucharist and, if we’re lucky, a campy joke or two about a well-hung vicar.

But back to Carrie Prejean … . One wonders where her adult supervision is. Twenty-one-year-olds will make mistakes, as will 17-year-olds. But that lingerie photo was especially unnecessary, inappropriate, and revealing in a much larger sense. Some adult should have helped her stand up to that job

Bet you didn’t see that coming, didya? Carrie didn’t have a mother and a father to save her from the lingerie photo because of . . . . . GAY MARRIAGE! She deserved to have had a mother and a father but, thanks to Dan Savage marrying his partner, she had neither. She was, instead, raised by wolves. The problem with being raised by wolves instead of by a real mother and father is that Carrie’s wolf-parents were too busy raiding chicken houses to prevent her from having someone take pictures of the sides of her tits. Worse, these two wolves were busy gnawing on a deer carcass when they should have been telling Carrie not to lie about those partial boobie pics.

Thomas “Double Stuf” Sowell, The National Review:
‘Empathy’ vs. Law: When you buy words, you had better know what you are buying

• You know who had empathy? Hitler, that’s who.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

Top that, Michael Caine. A is the new A, beeyatch!

I’ve had enough. Dr. Helen is right. The Chrysler debacle was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Unless it was the Dijon mustard. Whatever. I’m not going to play along anymore. I will no longer be blogging just to enrich Google or BlogAds or somebody else who just siphons our money and redirects it towards a usurper who wants to destroy capitalism. Blogging is not a suicide pact.

I quit. This is it. The end. I will not be blogging one word until we have responsible, small-government, free market leadership back in the White House.

UPDATE: Do not write me. Do not call me. Do not e-mail me. I’m serious.

UPDATE II: I will be updating this post periodically throughout the day to present my early impressions of Going Galt from blogging.

UPDATE III: Going Goat? A reader sends in an amusing find:

UPDATE IV: Quick hit — the best part about seasteading is “Fuck you, world.”

UPDATE V: A reader sends in a Disturbing Chart …

UPDATE VI: A mystery reader e-mails:

When you Go Galt:

– A massive weight is lifted from your shoulders
– The scales are lifted from your eyes
– The coffee is woken up to and smelt
– Food tastes a little bit better
– Food such as fish
– Fish such as smelt
– Sunsets are a little bit prettier
– Sunrises are a little bit longer
– Making love is also a little bit better
– Actually, it’s a lot better and also longer
– The days are a little bit longer, the nights are a little bit better
– Woodland creatures are a little less scary
– Nobody tells you what to do
– You get to tell everybody else what to do
– The forest and the jungle lose their sting
– Everything tastes like ice cream and smells like victory
– Only it doesn’t make you fat
– Free robots are available for chores and sex
– The Moon is a harsh mistress

Who is this mystery reader, you ask? I’ll never tell. (Hint: It’s me.)

UPDATE VII: People are free to criticize my decision to Go Galt. I only demand that they freely choose not to do so.

UPDATE VIII: The breakers crashed against the shore. The nanobots buzzed merrily in the distance. A small child died in an industrial accident. I pumped my servos twice for luck and thought, ‘All is right in the multiverse.’

UPDATE IX: A parable for our times — imagine a frog sitting in a pot of water that is gradually being brought to a boil. In this case, the ‘frog’ is the Nanny State. The ‘pot’ is liberty and the ‘water’ is the power of a billion teabags. As liberty heats the teabags, the Nanny State is revealed to be … yes, covered in boils.

UPDATE X: Send me $100 or I will tell your boss that you were reading this at work.

UPDATE X: What I’m reading.

UPDATE X: See Update I (Update) for an update to this update.

You have to imagine that a partners meeting at Faegre and Benson, where John “Butt Missile” Hinderaker is a partner, must be attended by as many seeing-eye dogs as partners. Otherwise how on earth have none of them noticed Hinderaker sauntering around the office in floppy clown shoes and a polka-dot blazer, squeezing a whoopee cushion and squirting all the secretaries with his gag lapel flower? How else to explain why the law firm hasn’t suggested to Hinderaker that he might be better suited working at a law firm that trolls late night cable with ads desperately seeking car crash plaintiffs?

I mean Hinderaker’s partners couldn’t possibly have read this post:

Barack Obama’s lawless conduct in connection with the Chrysler bankruptcy is sending shock waves through the business community. Obama has tried to bully … Chrysler’s non-TARP secured creditors … into giving up their legal rights by threatening to use the powers of the White House to damage their businesses. This sort of lawlessness is common in some of the more corrupt Third World countries, but it is brand new to the United States.

That’s quite a charge and it must absolutely be true since Hinderaker sources it from a website with the authoritative-sounding name “The Business Insider.” Or not. The Business Insider is run by one Henry Blodget whose claim to business-insiderhood was severely limited by the S.E.C order that barred him from the securities industry for life and fined him $4 million for securities fraud.

If you’re going to take your reputation and give it a non-flushing swirlie in an outhouse hole by sourcing from a business “news” website run by a con man, it really is imperative that the website at least says what you claim it says. In fact, the article in question doesn’t say that Obama threatened to damage business of the bond holders, but merely that he “harshly castigated” them for not agreeing to renegotiate the bonds.

Worse, Hinderaker’s more-than-suspect source doesn’t even come close to supporting Hinderaker’s charge that Obama’s actions here are the sort of “lawlessness [that] is common in some of the more corrupt Third World countries.” Now, I may not be a Time Blogger of the Year, but I have read Title 18 of the United States Code, which is where you’ll find all federal crimes, and the crime of “harshly castigating” can’t be found anywhere in there. After all if “harsh castigation” were a crime, wouldn’t Dick Cheney now be serving several consecutive life sentences?

Amity Shlaes, Bloomberg:
Obama Democrats Accent Bullying Over Governing

• Blogs lack accuracy: Even as he attacked Michele Bachmann for errors, the author on The New Republic’s Plank blog misspelled her name. Three other such left-leaning blogs are TPM, someone hiking a TPM post, and Matt Yglesias.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

Ross Douthat, The New York Times:
A Hole in the Center

• The GOP desperately needs moderates, but the existing ones are too much like liberals, so I imagined a new kind for them.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

We all know from hard-won experience that politics cannot be reasonably run by prioritizing policies which you perceive would most infuriate your opponents.

But wouldn’t it be fun to follow the confirmation hearings of Supreme Court Justice Anita Hill?