The Times Desperately Needed A New Safire
Posted on May 6th, 2009 by Gavin M.
Ross Douthat, The New York Times:
A Hole in the Center
- The GOP desperately needs moderates, but the existing ones are too much like liberals, so I imagined a new kind for them.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
you go to election with the moderates you wish you had, not the moderates that you can find…
And such as.
I think I may have not remembered that quote correctly.
The Times Desperately Needed A New Safire
I read that as “a new satire”. I think they got it.
I dunno, maybe Kristol could write something as wildly imaginative and completely wrong but Douchehat seems to be doing a fine job carrying the torch.
from swing-state governors like Mitch Daniels of Indiana and Minnesota’s Tim Pawlenty, or reformists in deep-red states, like the much-touted Bobby Jindal of Louisiana and Utah’s Jon Huntsman
“We need to replace the people whose records I do not like with people whose records I am unfamiliar with.”
If you’re not a former Dixiecrat, getthefuckout mah party!
The GOP’s new moderates must be social reactionaries. It is the only way forward. Ignore Maine. Its actions today represent no trend, as the Northeast is a wasteland to us.
To repeat my TBogg comment on same:
“Once we find all the centrist technophile Klan members, we will be unstoppable!”
I see the latest test shot from Butt Propulsion Laboratories was a success.
Also, I think they tried Jindal, which lasted all of five minutes.
Jindal II: Now with more volcano monitoring!
But wait a minute.
Don’t chunky Reese Witherspoons have holes in the center?
Ewwwwwww.
Pschitt?
What we need are fresh, bright, new idea conservatives like Jack Kemp and Ronald Reagan, except younger, but who think the exact same things.
Don’t chunky Reese Witherspoons have holes in the center?
“So chunky you can eat it with a fork – but use a Witherspoon!”
Bobby Jindal’s the only one who’s really an Aryan, so there’s always that….
Ignore Maine.
Moxie-drinking tree-molesters!
Yeah, I made the mistake of reading that dreck. Isn’t Douthat supposed to be one of the rising intellectual stars on the right? Is it any wonder they’re in such dire straits? I noticed he was unable to name any preferred “moderates” aside from the doctrinaire wingnut governors he names. He also comes dangerously close to criticizing Rush. Dangerous territory.
Guess Ross had to give up his other site, http://www.gaypatriotouterspace.com
Huh. Didn’t know WordPress would do that. Didn’t really want it to.
FYWP.
They should hire Ammity Shales or Jonah Goldberg for this position instead of hiring second-raters like Kristol and Douthat. They hired the latter two just to make conservatives look bad.
Isn’t Douthat supposed to be one of the rising intellectual stars on the right?
Considering that Jonah Goldberg is an established intellectual star on the right, I think the trend might be a bit up.
“Listening tour,” Ross? It’s been changed to a “teaching tour,” please do try to keep up with the latest talking points.
We’ll take Snowe, Collins, and Chaffee, even with the bus-tire marks on them.
And yet, LittlePig, see the wonderland to which it led.
Also & so forth, does “LittlePig” have anything to do w/ Green Jell-o®, pronounced “Jelly?”
Not a new Safire. Safire had at least a vague familiarity with the English language. Douthat uses the phrase “peeling a $100 billion dollars off”, which reads as “peeling a one hundred billion dollars dollars off”.
They hired the latter two just to make conservatives look bad.
No, the conservatives make themselves look bad w/o help from The NYT or anyone else.
See Ross speak here. “We need gawd to ensure total control.” Jeeso-fascist jerk-face.
I think doey arse is waiting to be called on to serve. He definately thinks of himself as the “smart face of conservatism”. How he can get so much wrong in 4 little words is beyond me.
“So-called extremists can serve the country well. ”
Right. Of late they’ve been serving up a frothy mixture of crazy and gunfire.
does “LittlePig” have anything to do w/ Green Jell-o®, pronounced “Jelly?”
Sadly, No.
Take Lugar and McCain while you’re at it, Rusty. Please.
I believe the Doughy Pantload is pictured in the background, lighting one of his farts in the small enclosed room.
Eight months ago I considered McCain a super-awesome Mavrik jet-fighter tough guy badass. Had he won I still would.
Yeah, boy howdy, after the One True Scotsman Purity Wars are over, you ‘Pubs will have whittled it down to the half million or so truest of true believers. That’ll bring America back to ya. You betcha.
Now, now, don’t make the poster boy for nepotism run to Lucianne to talk about the big mean men threatening his tender ass.
That’s one fuck of a fart – the outhouse launching, as well as the ‘column.’
Just watched the Douthat-McDonald exchange. Compared to Kristol, Jonah, Putz, VDH, Malkin, and rest of the clown posse, Douthat is practically Voltaire. I realize that’s not saying much, but still…
I never liked McCain. I’m more of a Romney fan. Or Palin. Or even Jeb Bush (liberals would hate it if we nominated Jeb Bush!)
Compared to Kristol, Jonah, Putz, VDH, Malkin, and rest of the clown posse, Douthat is practically Voltaire.
Kind of like saying “I find McDonald’s cuisine much preferable to eating dogshit, broken glass or earwax.”
Practically Voltaire.
Damn, I forget the name of their big hit.
Douthat is capable of stringing together several consecutive & coherent (But still wrong, wrong wrong, so how coherent are they, really?) sentences. Which is an improvement over many of his ilk. Perhaps it’s his denial of sex that has enabled him to hone his skills in that dep’t.
Douthat to me one more time,
Once is never enough.
(liberals would hate it if we nominated Jeb Bush!)
Oh no! Don’t nominate him! He’s the only guy we fear! Oh NOES!
Y’all want a single say Douthat
Douthat Douthat
(liberals would hate it if we nominated Jeb Bush!)
Oh, please no, Missuh Wingnut! Doan’ throw yusself into de briar patch!
We need a Sadly, Doh! poll:
Goopers 2012:
1) Sarah Palin / Michele Bachmann
2) Jeb Bush / Carrie Prejean
3) Bobby Jindal / Joe the Plumber
4) Sauron/Galactus
You’re trying to fly, you get nowhere,
You get no air, you’re getting aware.
You shouldn’t douthat, shouldn’t douthat
You shouldn’t douthat, shouldn’t douthat
You shouldn’t douthat, shouldn’t douthat
5) Coming back later/kicking you lib’s asses
We need to have a meeting to tell the Republicans what they should rename their party.
I’m in favor of “Power Rangers” since my kid suggested it.
5) Coming back later/kicking you lib’s asses
A presumptive Declaration Of Victory! That’s a new one.
I would do anything for love, but I won’t douthat. No, I won’t douthat.
I nominate the following for the 2012 Republican Pres/VP candidate:
Corpse Of Reagan In Wetsuit With Vibrator / Rush Limbaugh’s last Dominican BoyToy
I told you before
You can’t Douthat
I’m voting the Sarah Michele Bachmann-Palin! Twice!!
I would do anything for love, but I won’t douthat. No, I won’t douthat.
I had a feeling this was going to cost me some money.
Ok, so looks like Troofus is back/found another IP/hotel/whatever.
Has anyone stopped and given this a thought for a minute here? (wait, don’t answer that) I mean, I’m pretty sure we’ve had the same troll(s) for almost half a year here. Other than goober’s reappearance a while back, we’ve had Troofus, who has evaded bans, disemvowelment, and had several frothy-rage meltdowns when no one would take him seriously (yeah, uh, guys? You want to see how it’s done? Look at the thread from Sunday night, where he started posting as “Austrian Economics”, which was followed immediately by a [non-troll] comment by “Austrian Politics”, which then descended into a cavalcade of puns and snark, with no one paying attention to Troofy. He lost it, to the point where he was literally banging on his keyboard and posting it as a comment. Don’t believe me? Go look.)
This guy is mentally ill. There’s no two ways about it, and I doubt we’d ever be able to make the connection, but I have a feeling he is going to be featured on the news in some (in)capacity within the not-too-distant future, and not in a particularly flattering light either. Maybe someone will shoot up another Unitarian church around the time Troofus suddenly stops posting, but no one will be 100% sure.
It’s one thing to troll a site for laughs, or whatever. But when you’ve been repeatedly banned and you’re still at it AFTER SIX MONTHS, that’s not dedication, folks, that’s mental illness in it’s pure textbook form.
Ok, I’m not sure if I saw his comments in this or the other thread. But whatever.
5) Zombie Reagan/Inanimate Carbon Rod 2012!
You don’t think “@” is the same dilrod?
I agreed with T-Bogg that the big takeaway was how devoid of any interesting points it was. I think this is a stage fright issue. Trying to pin down exactly what kind of moderate he fantasizes about (not too x, just y enough, etc.) just seems like a substitute for engaging any kind of contested political issue.
In the culture wars he’s the guy frozen on the staircase, crying, with all the ammo.
they all smell the same.
Yeah, that’s him. I went back to my RSS reader and realized it was the old(er) Joe the Plumber thread where he’s posting as Jimmy Carter/John Kerry/etc.
He lost it, to the point where he was literally banging on his keyboard and posting it as a comment. Don’t believe me? Go look.
I saw that – it was pretty masterful. Just about convinced me that rich people really do deserve more tax cuts.
Well, at least “LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL” has done as good a job of that as anything else has.
Don’t disemvowel me (which is de facto censorship) and I won’t have to spam. Like I said, fuck with the bull and you will get the horns. Fools.
(liberals would hate it if we […]
This really is all that matters to conservatives. It’s enough to sell them on just about any horrible policy, no matter how much at odds with their supposed “beliefs.” It’s their actual organizing principle, like that of Ogre and the Jocks who only exist to pick on the Nerds.
Why don’t we have a discussing on the continuing failure of black rule in South Africa, now that the black South Africans have finally put aside all pretenses of being “moderate” and elected a militant thug named Jacob Zuma?
It’s not censorship. It’s enhancement. Your posts are nonsense, we’re just making them even better nonsense.
Simba, I did read that thread, and I endorse your diagnosis. Like Troofus, Glenn beck is going to go apeshit sooner or later and do something that will show up the loony right for what they are, except unlike the Unitarian church guy, it will be televised.
If Michael Savage continues to appear on shows where he can’t mute the questions, I don’t know but what the cognitive dissonance of being a homophobic, anti-semitic gay Nazi may cause an interesting on-air meltdown, too.
I’m evil enough to say: “Bring it on!” I’ve watched my fellow Democrats cower in front of the Lee Atwater attack machine since the 1988 election, without saying anything but: “But…but…humminah, humminah….” Turnabout is fair play, bitches!
And oh yeah, Rossie-poo? We have a center-right party in this country, and their candidate was elected president last November. They control both houses of Congress as well. Thanks for playing, but: BZZZZTT!
Andy Sachs (Anne Hathaway): So none of the conservatives still around here knows anything?
Nigel (Stanley Tucci): Not since North Carolina became the new Pennsylvania, and Montana became the new Oregon.
Andy Sachs: Well, I’m from Virginia . . .
Nigel: Which is the new California.
Why don’t we have a discussing on the continuing failure of black rule in South Africa, now that the black South Africans have finally put aside all pretenses of being “moderate” and elected a militant thug named Jacob Zuma?
Whatever, fag. Shut up or I’ll be back later to kick you’re ass.
Fuck with the steer and you get confused looks all the way round.
Why don’t we have a discussing on the continuing failure of black rule in South Africa, now that the black South Africans have finally put aside all pretenses of being “moderate” and elected a militant thug named Jacob Zuma?
Why don’t you get your own blog?
So a massive “stimulus” that spends billions upon billions of dollars on wasteful government programs, expands the debt, and increases the size and scope of the federal leviathan is “center right?” Excuse me?
Don’t disemvowel me (which is de facto censorship) and I won’t have to spam.
Explain why disemvowling forces you to spam. Is spam a workable substitute for vowels, or are you just spouting more nonsense?
Smut Clyde is full of HawkWIN.
Why don’t we have a discussing on the continuing failure of black rule in South Africa
Not before you explain how to have a discussing.
“Not before you explain how to have a discussing.”
Go fuck yourself. You knew damn well what I meant. Tool.
So a massive “stimulus” that spends billions upon billions of dollars on wasteful government programs, expands the debt, and increases the size and scope of the federal leviathan is “center right?”
Well, in fairness, when Bush did all that it was far right, not center-right.
And enough with the pie! Yeesh.
Excuse me
You’re leaving?
No matter how much you try, you will never ban me for good. Ever. I will always be here challenging the assumptions of this liberal echo chamber, being the brave voice of resistance as this country falls under the Specter (pun intended) of liberal black rule.
Well, in fairness, when Bush did all that it was far right, not center-right.
True enough, but he never called it “stimulus”, did he? It was just raw pocket-stuffing while the chattering classes ran interference and said anyone who disapproved was a traitor.
Please. It would be the only thing of value he’s ever done.
Actually after the last few months it is clear that Obama, Biden, and Pelosi are not even liberals. They’re far-left, hard core radical militants.
I will always be here
challenging the assumptions of this liberal echo chamber, being the brave voice of resistance as this country falls under the Specter (pun intended) of liberal black ruleto annoy you, sharing the bitter misery of my narrow pinched, unhappy soul.Fixed that for you.
Simba B.,
I think you’re right about the mental illness. Bleeding heart liberal that I am, I actually feel sorry for this person and hope he gets the treatment he so desperately needs.
Well, on the objective political spectrum, Obama, Bide, and Pelosi are well to the right of Nixon, so what does that make him?
Actually after the last few months it is clear that Obama, Biden, and Pelosi are not even liberals. They’re far-left, hard core radical militants.
Pol Pot fears their militancy. Stalin wishes they could moderate their views a little.
Dude, could you prove your complete lack of any historical perspective any better than this?
Liberals would really hate it if we stepped in our own poop and walked all over Mommy’s shag carpeting!
De fact o censorshiip doan change de fact u is excess human(?) bagtgage.
Elvis was a hero to some, but he never meant shit to me.
Straight-up racist that sucka was, simple and plain,
Man, motherfuck him and John Wayne!
Dude, could you prove your complete lack of any historical perspective any better than this?
Annie-limpy just enjoys the attention.
Well, on the objective political spectrum, Obama, Bide, and Pelosi are well to the right of Nixon, so what does that make him?
I’m sure Truthie still hates Nixon for betraying Taiwan (or Formosa, as he still thinks of it in his heart of hearts). Birchers still regard Nixon as a commie.
Discussing is not allowed here. In fact, the profanity level is awfully fucking low lately. Get with the shit piss cunt cocksucker program already. Encussing is highly encouraged.
Nixon was about the same place on the spectrum Bush 43 was. The Center.
Obama is far to the left of that, someplace between FDR to his right and Mussolini to his left.
Obama, much like Wilson and Hitler/Mussolini is offering a “third way” between the free market and Communism.
These fine and salient points from the wingnut make me realize anew just how much entertainment these eight years will provide. Disemvoweling? Hell, by June 2010 or so they’ll be flining poo at each other and screeching and calling that “a teaching tour”.
Good times, good times.
Obama, much like Wilson and Hitler/Mussolini is offering a “third way” between the free. market and Communism.
Mussolini to the left! OK, now I know this idiot is a parody troll!
You Cannot Escape the Truth
This is the best handle evar for the “bookmark this, libs!” nutsack who keeps moving the goalposts.
I will grant him that Obama is to the left of Hitler.
Obama, much like Wilson and Hitler/Mussolini is offering a “third way” between the free. market and Communism.
(try it again with a couple more periods – you know, the “third way”)
Obama, much like Wilson
Wilson? The basketball from that crappy movie?
Nixon came within an inch of instituting a negative income tax, and his maximum marginal rate was twice what it is now. Let’s see Obama propose anything like that kind of “socialism” and then we’ll talk about who’s to the left of whom.
Troofie, much like any another wingnut, is offering us a turd way between sense and nonsense.
Now, now, Pere Ubu, Wilson was a volleyball. That mistake means you’re wrong about everything, now and forever, world without end, amen.
A Hole in the Center
To quote Chumbawamba:
“Hey diddle diddle
Here’s a brand new riddle
What’s shallow and cheap
With a hole in the middle.”
Now, now, Pere Ubu, Wilson was a volleyball. That mistake means you’re wrong about everything, now and forever, world without end, amen.
Yeah, I had to pick this week to give up fact-checking. I was just hoping to achieve the high journalistic standards of a Goldberg or a Swank.
Now, to paraphrase the Firesign Four, “Everything I Know Is Wrong”! alas I am slain *urg*
Alexandar the grate was a hommaseckshul, and enstatuted the fierst LIEbral encum tacks! En his prettysesser, Carl Marks, wuz too teh lefft of Thergud Marshel!
Bookmarc THET, lips!
Safire, if I recall correctly, towards the end of his NYT run, said something to the effect of “Clinton was almost certainly a rapist.” He was a typical conservative writer, willing to throw unsupported and/or falsehoods into his columns. He could write, sure, but he was as full of crap as any of them.
Edited for PeeJ: He could fucking write, the cocksucker, but his shit was backed up to his eyeballs, the cunt.
Louisa May Alcott was to the left of Harriet Tubman, who was to the right of Kevin Bacon.
Clowns to the left of him, jokers to the right
Troofie am stuck in the middle of poop
“That mistake means you’re wrong about everything, now and forever, world without end, amen.”
I meant to put a [/wingnut] after that.
Bugs Bunny was to the left of Porky Pig, who was to the diagonal from Daffy Duck, who was kind of catty-corner if you kind of squeeked your eyes shut of Tweety Bird.
Also, Clenis.
Now, to paraphrase the Firesign Four, “Everything I Know Is Wrong”!
Oddly enough, I can quote Chumbawumba on that, too:
Everything You Know Is Wrong.
It’s kinda like an anthem for rightwing nutzoid paranoid conspiracy theories. It’s lampooning them but they’d never know it.
Oh, and an interesting tidbit:
Guess which religious group gives its highest approval scored to Obama?
Muslims! Hmmmm…
Ooooh, TEH MOOZLIMS approve of a guy who, unlike his predecessor, had a foreign policy towards them OTHER than “Kill them all.” SHOCKING, I know! Bookmark it!
I’m going to add Jacob Zuma to the list of people I’m going to say Obama should nominate for the Supreme Court, just to parallel right wing fantasy.
Guess which religious group gives its highest approval scored to Obama?
The Church of the SubGenius?
Oh, and an interesting tidbit:
Guess which religious group gives its highest approval scored to fish?
Catholics! Hmmmmm….
(note to Marlowe—YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.)
That illustration will serve as proof to the teabaggers that NASA is spending its share of the stimulus package wisely.
I’m going to add Jacob Zuma to the list of people I’m going to say Obama should nominate for the Supreme Court, just to parallel right wing fantasy.
I want to see him nominate Hugo Chavez.
Oh yeah? Well if Obama’s such a radical leftist, why does always acute Human Events think that he’s merely liberal?
Stop Obama From Giving Liberals Control Of The Supreme Court
Actual headline. Shouldn’t you be trying to stop him from giving control of the Supreme Court to RADICAL LEFT WING TERRORIST MOOZLIM UNWHITE UNMALE AMERICAHATING SOCIALIST ATHEISTS?!?!?!
Answer me that, Mr. Strained Economicals!
Isn’t Douthat supposed to be one of the rising intellectual stars on the right?
That’s like being one of the best ice hockey player in Somalia.
Guess which religious group gives its highest approval scored to Obama?
Go on! One post without a typo! I DARE YOU!
1. KSM KB4… Harriet Tubman K3
2. Owen Wilson K4… Bugs Bunny Q4
3. Owen Wilson x Bugs Bunny… Queen Latifah x Owen Wilson
4. Gay Muslims riot… K x P… B x P… K x P… GANG BANG!
I just took a good look at the picture.
That is one skimpy, wimpy-assed wingnut face mullet.
Bugs Bunny was to the left of Porky Pig…Also, Clenis.
Damn, the free associations and coincidences continue to flow.
Not only am I the blogmother of the Clenis™, but your mention of Bugs Bunny fires a brainstorm: I supported Obama for the same reason Bugs Bunny has always been my favorite superhero*, but just now figured out that it never should have been a surprise why I like him so much. Never really made the connection between Obama and Bugs before but, it’s there. Because like Bugs, Obama’s not an instigator – but he always outwits whoever is trying to fuck with him and turns them into his bitch (man, remember how many different characters Bugs totally owned and literally turned into his bitches?). Dude brings total smackdown.
* Bugs as superhero: really, he’s more like God. Whatever he needs in any given situation just pops up behind the bushes or whatever. X-ray vision, leaping over buildings, etc is fucking lame in comparison.
Sorry libs, that last should be K x P, B x P, _N_ x P, etc.
Was too busy licking the inside of my elbow then smelling it to pay attention.
Muslims approve of Obama, Christians approve of torture. Conclusion: Obama sux.
Also, Justice Zombie Karl Marx.
* Bugs as superhero: really, he’s more like God.
Oh, he’s just an avatar of Eris, Goddess of Chaos – her aspect of The Tormentor and Bringer Out Of Forehead Veins.
Also, Justice Zombie Karl Marx.
Groucho Marx is obviously to the left of Chico Marx, who’s center-right compared to Harpo. Zeppo & Gummo are, of course, the dark horse third party candidates.
Oh, he’s just an avatar of Eris, Goddess of Chaos…
I dunno…he kinda dispences cosmic justice, so I’m not sure “Chaos” fits, even though he makes his adversaries crazy.
But I really like the bits about The Tormentor and Bringer Out Of Forehead Veins.
Ross was an affirmative action hire; Maureen Dowd has been complaining for years about being the only virgin on the staff. (Of course if she was on the staff, she’s technically not a virgin.)
I’m high from shaking a bottle of tabasco sauce and huffing the fumes, so it’s all good….
Whom the gods would destroy, they first make Bugs.
OK, there’s been entirely too much zombie-denigrating around these parts. Zombie Karl Marx this, Zombie Hitler that, Zombie Janet Jackson’s Nipple….
It’s hurtful, and I demand it stop. We may be re-animated, shambling, brain eating horrors, but at least we aren’t mindless thread derailing trolls…
Groucho Marx is obviously to the left of Chico Marx, who’s center-right compared to Harpo.
I’m just wondering how, now that Jonah McPantload has proven that left and right are really the same thing, it’s meaningful to say who’s left or right of whom.
fuck with the bull
Heartland values FTW.
All I know about zombies, I learned on that sketch on Fridays.
I am not hating on the Zombie, I love you guys to pieces!
Like I said before, tig, I’m not cleaning that up.
Unfortunately, nobody’s uploaded that (pre)documentary about the 1980 election–Election Night: “When the polls close…the hooorrror begins!” Moo hoo ah hahahaha!
Groucho Marx is obviously to the left of Chico Marx, who’s center-right compared to Harpo.
They didn’t always use the same line-up. It depended on who the other team was, and whether they were playing attack or defense.
I’m not cleaning that up.
After Easter:
— Yechh. What the hell is that?
— Beats me. It must be the piece of god that passeth understanding.
Didn’t your mother teach you to pick up yourself after?
Pffft. Hugo Chavez is a conservative. What we need are real leftists, so I think Obama should nominate the entire clandestine leadership of Colombia’s rebel FARC guerrillas. Just, no satellite phones, please.
It’s hurtful, and I demand it stop. We may be re-animated, shambling, brain eating horrors, but at least we aren’t mindless thread derailing trolls…
Q: pro or con?
I’ve very much enjoyed making winger’s heads explode the last eight years, whenever they would get exercised about Hugo Chavez, by telling them I’d trade him Dubya for him in a heartbeat. So…Justice Hugo Chavez sounds pretty good, especially if we could arrange for Fat Tony to have a little…accident….
Psychotherapy for liberals
By James Lewis
Talking with liberals is frustrating, because you can’t just talk about facts. That will only get them all upset, and all they will get out of the experience is never to listen to people like you. Most liberals live in their heads, or in little fluffy white clouds floating right above their scalps and resist efforts to engage them in rational conversation.
Our media are perfect examples. They never learn. They never listen to any other points of view. They know they have nothing to learn. Intellectually they are stuck, stuck, stuck.
(That’s why the media are finally going bankrupt, thank goodness. But for years they got away with an endless parade of flagrant nonsense. Some of them still do. It’s embarrassing.)
Talking to liberals is very much like doing therapy. The first lesson any psychiatrist learns is that most clients don’t listen. They only pretend to listen, and then they never follow any sensible advice. So talking doesn’t do the trick. It never does. If talking helped, they wouldn’t be there in the first place.
So what do you do?
You wait for life to happen.
And then slowly, a tiny little bit at a time, you gently point out the ways in which clients defeat themselves, over and over again.
Therapists don’t change people. Life does — sometimes, if we are lucky and very patient.
A good therapist can turn life into learning opportunities. But you have to be very, very patient and forbearing. And the client has to be pretty desperate to learn.
Talking to liberals is like that. As the Obamanistas run out their string of self-celebration, preening and prancing before the world’s media, as they keep bumping into the harsh walls of reality, getting a bloody nose here, a black eye there, there will be life lessons galore. Every day will bring new lessons. Already, the Obees are acting like George W. Bush in Afghanistan and Iraq — notice that? Their actions don’t differ in any visible way from the most scapegoated administration in history; all they’ve changed is their talk.
Big deal.
On the economy they’re hopeless. Already Midwestern Democrats have refused to commit political suicide with carbon Cap and Trade. So that is going nowhere.
As the economic downturn starts to bite, watch for the Obees to blame Republicans for not saving them from their folly. It is crucial for Republicans to remind the American people that they do not approve of Obama’s egomaniacal fantasies. Hold fast, ride out the storm, and the people will come around when they feel their pain.
If the United States of America is very lucky, Obama — who always acts like a bright grad student, always hopping up to prove how well he has learned his lessons — Obama, as I say, may learn to avoid the biggest international traps and pitfalls.
If we are lucky.
If not, the United States will get Carterized again and again — in Iran, with Russia, the Middle East and the UN. Those are all the places where Jimmy Carter got royal bloody noses. And then blamed the Republicans for his mistakes.
With Yasser Arafat and the Palestinians, Jimmy Carter twisted Israeli arms over and over again, and finally got a so-called peace agreement that never worked. He walked away with a Nobel Prize from the suckered Oslo Nobel Committee, but no real success on the ground. Guess who got the blame for those failures? When somebody is mentally stuck, they only have one story to tell, no matter how reality turns out. They just have to blame other people for their disasters — the alternative is to blame themselves, and they are not capable of doing that.
With Russia, Brezhnev invaded Afghanistan after telling Jimmy he wouldn’t, and with Iran, Jimmy Carter enabled the worst medieval throwback tyrant of modern times, Ayatollah Khomeini, to take over the fastest-modernizing country in the Middle East and drive it back to the Dark Ages. Iranians are immensely talented people. In the West they do extremely well, when their opportunities are not limited and their lives are not oppressed.
But in Iran itself the last three decades have been painful for no reason at all. The war between Iran and Saddam Hussein cost a million lives. Saddam would not have attacked Iran with the Shah in charge, because the United States would have backed the Shah. The Shah would not have sent teenage “martyrs” on motorcycles into minefields to open the way up for his assault troops. The Shah, even with all his flaws, was a great modernizer, and would have spared his people endless pain and suffering. Today Iran would be a model of Islamic modernism but for our hero Jimmy Carter. But now it threatens a nuclear arms race in the Middle East, one that can spread the plague to the whole world.
Carter didn’t like the Shah, and allowed him to be overthrown out of sheer, liberal guilt for what the United States did to Iran’s Prime Minister Mossadegh in 1954, twenty years before Carter came to power.
See how well liberal guilt works in the Hobbesian “world community”? The world is not a “community.” It is a wilderness full of predators. Liberals are just like that woman in the Berlin zoo who decided to jump into the polar bear enclosure, and got chomped. Want to understand Vladimir Putin? Remember that polar bear.
What we are seeing today with Obama is a neurotic repetition compulsion. All the things that didn’t work for Jimmy are being tried again by Barry O. They will end up not working again. Only a fool could be surprised.
Obama is a natural follow-up act for Carter. Right now he looks like Jimmy Carter, Jr., with even more self-righteous arrogance and even more towering folly — which is quite an accomplishment. Oh, yes, and he’s black, which delights the media, because our media airheads always confuse symbolism with substance. But being black is only skin-deep. It doesn’t guarantee anything. You have to be a fool to believe otherwise.
Being our first black president won’t save Obama from the consequences of his arrogance. Nor will it save the country. Sorry about that. Reality always gets the final vote.
We have never seen an administration that lived more in its heads and less on Planet Earth — the real earth, that is, not the fantasy dream of Mother Gaia. We have never seen a more mentally stuck power-mad gaggle of innocents abroad. Their mistakes will mirror their arrogance.
The prancing and preening Obama crowd is a natural victim for all the con artists in the world — and that’s practically every real enemy of the United States and Western civilization.
That’s the way it is. Get used to it, because any therapeutic intervention first requires them to bump into reality. Just listen for the loud bangs as they go bouncing off the walls.
We can predict the Obama administration will run into trouble, because they have set out plans that are self-contradictory and doomed to failure. We also know what will happen when they fail really big: They will blame the grown-ups. That’s what such people do. It’s how they keep their self-esteem in the face of repeated failures.
The question is not, “Will they blame the rest of us?” They are bound to.
Rather, the adult question is: How can we protect the United States and the civilized world, even with mentally stuck Keystone Cops in charge?
Take just one little example, a very minor blooper, but one that defines this administration: The PR disaster of flying an Air Force One backup plane right over the Statue of Liberty, with an F-16 on its tail. Those are serious planes, with serious purposes. They are not manufactured to make pretty pictures. But that’s evidently what the White House thinks they are for. It’s like a kid trying to drive his Dad’s car because it looks so cool.
The fly-over freaked out New Yorkers, as all sensible people knew in advance. But the White House still did it. Bottom line: PR considerations and a power-hungry, mentally stuck White House overrode simple common sense.
Sounds just like therapy, right? We know the White House was advised not to do this. But good advice has no effect on people who just want to keep bashing their heads into brick walls.
This is not the only mad PR move of the Obamanites. PR is really important to them. That’s how they think they won; and with too many voters, it was how they won. They are mostly PR. The styrofoam Greek columns were another one. Promising to stop the rising seas was another one. Michelle’s $540.00 tennies at the charity affair for poor people is another one. The iPod for the Queen and the deep bow for the King of Saudi were two more.
In fact, the Obama team has constantly overreached on public relations stunts. They have a predilection for that. It’s part of their predictable neurosis. And eventually, when people get the joke, they will run head-on into a brick wall of public laughter. They will never laugh at themselves, nor confess their arrogance and ignorance. They can only steam straight ahead, running right into that looming wall. Again.
And when they do, the rest of us have to be ready just to point out the obvious.
It’s beginning already.
Don’t expect quick results, just remember that reality always gets the last vote.
Psychotherapy for liberals said,
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
I liked that better. Do some more of that!
Hey, has anyone here mentioned that Miss Purity Christian Opposite-Marriage California has nudie pics out there? She already had been called on the carpet by the pageant organization for acting as a spokesmodel for NOM – now with the nudie pics she’s alienating the fundies who embraced her.
Oh, and also there’s some buzz about having her stand in for that stupid Hasselbeck former-Survivor-contestant chick on The View. Which sounds about right.
Is it that obvious that I read some gay blogs?
You know why liberals are stupid and don’t like facks? ‘Cause they can’t see the last 8 years of right wing leadership as the unparalleled success that the facks clearly say that they are. Instead they just want to sit around and smoke pot and float in clouds and go for psychotherapy, unlike conservatives, who truly embrace the principles of the scientific method as well as napkin theories of tax cuts.
I are troll. I cut and paste things with a straight face that accuse the OTHER side of being arrogant and out-of-touch with reality. I do this without any sense of irony. So, kind sir, can you spare a nickel?
Oh, and she’s also probably gonna lose her crown. Or tiara. Or whatever.
Miss Opposite-Marriage, that is.
Oh, and she’s also probably gonna lose her crown. Or tiara. Or whatever.
I thought she lost, like Sarah Palin – the better for launching her into a bile-filled post-beauty-pageant career of loony politics.
I’m vaguely reminded of that old Onion article about Vanessa Williams being stripped of her Miss America crown for contributing to the sexist objectification of women.
Whoever is spoofing me is a two-tit queefbait cocksucking faggot.
Psychotherapy for liberals
…silly troll – wingnuts are therapy for liberals (laugh therapy)
Groucho, Chico and Harpo were a centre anarcho- syndicalist triumvirate. They were to the left of Zeppo but that too be expected as he was a matinee idol kind of guy. The real power behind the throne was Gummo and he was a definitely Right based. Of course the fellow travelers Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck tried to paint the Marxs as left wing extremists because of the studio system as it worked then.
Yeah, she was a big fat loser.
She’s not even first-loser, she’s the loser who takes the place of like the fourth loser should the fourth loser be unable to hold up her position. This whole opposite-marriage nude pic bullshit is the way she intends to extend her 15 seconds of infamy.
I’m high from shaking a bottle of tabasco sauce and huffing the fumes, so it’s all good….
Whenever I do that it makes me ravenously hungry.
I have been really upset at learning how many beauty pageant contestants have been vapid creatures who get eagerly embraced as right wing heroes for speaking garbled criticisms of non-conservative-favored social arrangements.
Snark aside, this would be a good job strategy for a beauty pageant contestant (and I’m hoping this is just hypothetical and I’m unaware of just this having happened) who knew she was going to lose to try to ingratiate herself with the right and to make it seem like liberal prejudice doomed her.
“And now for Miss So & So from the Great State of Where ever: Your question is how to bring us closer to world peace…”
“World peace? F*** world peace. You’ll get your ‘world peace’ when you bomb the terrorists back to the stone age where they belong, and they’re happier back then anyway.”
You’d be instantly hired as a FUXNOOZ anchor babe.
The Shah, even with all his flaws, was a great modernizer, and would have spared his people endless pain and suffering.
Except for when his secret police were yanking their fingernails out or burning them with blowtorches, he was all about sparing his people pain and suffering.
I dunno…he kinda dispences cosmic justice, so I’m not sure “Chaos” fits, even though he makes his adversaries crazy.
So, he was more of an “Erinyes” sort of rabbit?
El Cid, if she uttered the phrase “glass parking lot” she would be immediately slated to replace Rush or O’Reilly when they retire.
Talking with liberals is frustrating, because you can’t just
talk about factsscroll-troll a bunch of cut-and paste BS without being made fun of./FTFY
//Now, GTFO and GBTW
///Also.
Psychtherapy for Liberals
Did anybody, for their sins, read that crap? Man, that is some world-class projection there!
Talking with liberals is frustrating, because you can’t just talk about facts.
The aide said that guys like me were ”in what we call the reality-based community,” which he defined as people who ”believe that solutions emerge from your judicious study of discernible reality.” I nodded and murmured something about enlightenment principles and empiricism. He cut me off. ”That’s not the way the world really works anymore,” he continued. ”We’re an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you’re studying that reality — judiciously, as you will — we’ll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that’s how things will sort out.’
Ron Suskind
Remember, you can’t spell LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL without ///////////////.
No, she’s not even gonna be Miss Opposite-Marriage California. She’s not just a national loser – she’s now a state-level reject as well.
Did anybody, for their sins, read that crap?
I saw some consonants. Even a couple vowels. When I saw that it was going to take up the entire page though, fuck it, killfile.
That sounds familiar. Wasn’t something like that right around the time of Sunday’s tipping point? By tipping point, I mean descent into blind paroxysal rage and head banging. Also, the brilliant riposte, “Tintin is a faggot.”
Someone is getting his buttons pushed, methinks. I hafta go make make fish tacos so I must delegate the button pushing. I trust you all completely.
spokesmodel for NOM
She ain’t my spokesmodel, though I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for being stupid.
Und vere did you develop zis subconscious affinity for two-tit queefbait cocksucking faggots? DAMMIT, stop banging ze “L” key mit your face!
Whoever is spoofing me is a two-tit queefbait cocksucking faggot.
Then he/she is doing a spot-on perfect impression. Rich Little, David Frye and Darryl Hammond should hang their heads in shame.
I gotta go eat some fish tacos, if you know what I mean, and I think you do, wink, wink, say no more….
I was merely stating the truth when I said Tintin is a faggot. I can even do it without vowels (tntn=fggt) which is why I chose that.particular insult.
Dipshits.
Justice Paris-Hilton-and-Nicole-Ritchie
C-Span crew follows the girls around and films them putting on their make up, shopping, trying on clothes and making court decisions and stuff.
The Truth is, I hate fags because my camp counselor made me suck him off all summer, and now I can’t stop! Help me! Help me!
I was merely stating the truth when I said that I am a two-tit queefbaiting faggot. I can even do it without vowels, which is why I chose that particular insult.
Dipshits.
Apparently I start to run low around this time of day.
Miss California’s one boob is left of her other boob, and both are north of her cootchie.
The brain, of course, is out to lunch.
Witness my descent into madness.
Bookmark it, libs.
This is why conservatism is dying in a manner fast and splattery. Troofus, A Few Good Men-style announces his commitment to speaking truth to power. And what is this shocking revelation none of us meanies will keep him from revealing? That someone he doesn’t like is a faggot. It is this pretentious “guardian of righteousness” attitude combined with the firm commitment to shrill ad hominem slurs when things start going the way he doesn’t like it that leads me to conclude Troofus is secretly Sean Hannity.
What kind of lure do you use for queefbaiting?
One of those weird rubbery bug-things?
Troofus is secretly Sean Hannity.
And now you know… The Rest of the Story.
This has been Pauuuul Harvey…. GooooOOOd day!
I kept telling him to work the balls more, but he was a stupid little shit in those days, too.
Personally, I’d prefer a descent from a bridge into cold, frigid waters full of rocks.
This madness shit is played out.
What would knock me on my ass (the way he clearly expects the meltdowns to) would be a descent into reason.
We’re sorry; the troll you have reached – T-R-O-O-F-I-E – has been disconnected from reality or is no longer in his right mind. Please check your killfile and try your troll again.
Are you little libs angry that your vaunted Kenyan Messiah even needs a telepropmpter to order a burger?
How can you be so stupid as to follow such a stupid, left-wing dipshit. Fucking cocksucking fools! You’re destroying America! Glenn Beck is right! This is like 1774. Read “The 5,000 Year Leap”!
telepropmpter
supraconsonantification to counteract disemvowelling? (or just pig-ignorance?)
That was a a good book, a really good introductory review of the context and thinking of the Founding Fathers. I have no idea why the modern right thinks it proves all sorts of libertarian and Randian nonsense.
Somebody once told me to bookmark when he scolds me,
Then switched his name like ten times instead;
He was lookin’ pretty dumb with his dick against his thumb
Banging out “LLL” with his forehead.
Well, the posts start comin’ and the troll starts cummin’,
Had to switch IPs ‘cuz the meter was runnin’.
Didn’t make sense, anything he said
His dick gets hard every time he’s fed.
So much for that, so much BS,
So he keeps copy-pasting the same mess;
You never know when he will blow
And tell Tintin he’s a homo;
Hey now, you’re a Troofus,
Get a boner, get banned,
Hey now, what a doofus,
Troll from work, get shitcanned,
And all these alternate names…
Only Gary Ruppert’s not the sa-yame.
Are you little libs angry that your vaunted Kenyan Messiah even needs a telepropmpter to order a burger?
Fuck, you mindless douchenozzle. Could it be that we’ve seen him in many unscripted, off-the-cuff discussions with hundreds of unvetted people asking real questions and watching him handle them with aplomb?
Could it be that you’ve got your head so far up Crush Limprod’s ass that you’ve never seen that, but can only parrot his idiotic talking points? I’m thinking it can!
Shh shh shh… hey guys, wait a minute. Hear that? That’s the sound of a troll’s mind about to crack.
Sounds like celery.
you mindless douchenozzle
Sentient douchenozzles are part of the horrifying machine takeover documented in “Terminator.”
“Teleprompter”? Is that what righties call “Menus” these days? As in, “Do you see any appetizers on the, uh, um, what do the kids call it, ‘Tell-a-promp-ter’?”
Shut up and listen until you’ve read Atlas Shrugged and The Iron Dream, liberal’s!
You can’t properly discuss politics until you’ve done a Hannithon. That means watching 24 consecutive hours of Sean Hannity, preferably under the influence of low-quality meth.
When he and Biden went out for that burger today, it cost tens of millions in hard earned taxpayer dollars when they just could have sent an aid to get it for then. MY MONEY for some publicity stunt! Fucking shitty and fucking sickening!
I’ve been looking for a good characterization of Schwarzenegger. “Sentient Douchenozzle?” No. Assumes facts not in evidence.
I’ve been looking for a good characterization of Schwarzenegger. “Sentient Douchenozzle?” No. Assumes facts not in evidence.
I’m pretty sure he has a nozzle somewhere.
I’m sure you’re all aware that you’re responding to a parody. Right?
Sight unseen, I know this is another one of their ridiculous lies, but I can’t be arsed to find out what it’s all about. What do you want to bet my reaction has become the majority one now?
watching him handle them with aplomb?
You’ve missed a word. A plomb what? Perhaps you meant “a plum”.
Nom de Plume, I used to think so, too, but I think Simba, earlier is right. This gomer has a serious mental disorder, is off his meds, and very well may wind up on the 6:00 news very soon now. Of course, we’ll never be sure….
One of those weird rubbery bug-things?
Yep, but it’ll cost you an extra fifty.
Psychotherapy for liberals
By James Lewis
Heh–I think I know the identity of our persistent visitor from Crazytown. The style is terribly familiar.
[blockquote] This doesn’t mean that Republicans should be happy that their tent is shrinking toward political irrelevance. But more Lincoln Chafees and Olympia Snowes aren’t the answer. What’s required instead is a better sort of centrist. [/blockquote] Yes, a better sort of, ahem, person, who will listen respectfully and vote accordingly, to the listening/teaching tour that we will insist the entire press corp cover in exhaustive detail. All this has to seem plausible until November 2010, and then we’ll come up up with something different.fuck this gutterhugger.
When he and Biden went out for that burger today, it cost tens of millions in hard earned taxpayer dollars when they just could have sent an aid to get it for then. MY MONEY for some publicity stunt! Fucking shitty and fucking sickening!
Confess…you really don’t like seeing knee-grows in positions higher than that of butler, do you?
FYWP FWYP FYWP
“Guess which religious group gives its highest approval scored to Obama?
The Church of the SubGenius?”
“Bob”, FSM…so many gods, so little time…
(Or, better, as Gore Vidal once said, “Always a godfather, never a god.”)
I’ve read “The Iron Dream” (A E Van Vogt) and Obama and Biden went to lunch THREE BLOCKS FROM MY HOUSE today. fuck you loser assmunch, i live in a cool neighborhood and you separate your mama’s recyclables, which you hate doing, fuck you.
Hey, these is neat: A story about George W. Bush Jr. visiting Porkers’ BBQ in Chattanooga in 2007. Bet that cost some taxpayer dollars. Bet he even ordered straight off the telegrafter.
This restaurant used to be “Ray’s The Steaks” but it was so successful that it was moved several blocks up Wilson Blvd and the old space was turned into a super duper yuppie burger joint called “Ray’s Hellburger” which you can’t even get inside because its so popular.
“The Iron Dream” (A E Van Vogt)
I have spotted the deliferate misteak and now I demand my pries.
bragging on my neighborhood…sorry.
bragging on my neighborhood…sorry.
You’d only have something to apologize for if you were dumb enough to deliberately live somewhere you hate.
But let’s talk Fort Greene’s Smokehouse and 67 Burger…
The Iron Dream is by Norman Spinrad…i’m so ashamed.
my copy was sold many years ago at a garage sale.
I don’t know if this thread is so funny it’s making me laugh until I cry, or if I just need to cry so badly that this thread is doing it because it’s so funny.
a two-tit queefbait cocksucking faggot
You know the old joke about the ideal number of tits and martinis.
The reason that faggots are bad, libs, is because back in high school, when Dad used to bone me up the ass, then turn around and make Mom lick it off, she got very very sick. Now I know Dad wasn’t really a fag, he was just trying to teach us a lesson.
And that lesson was, if you’re a fag, you make those around you sick! And I learned it well! And when Mom died, I decided I was going to quit being a fag, just like Dad wasn’t a fag. And now I spend my days trolling and teaching high school boys why being a fag is bad.
When he and Biden went out for that burger today, it cost tens of millions in hard earned taxpayer dollars
Well, yes, clearly, the proper thing for an American President to do is hunker down in the basement of the White House and never set foot out in public.
Much as I disliked George Bush, I never resented him for his use of the trappings of his office. It’s amazing to see the depths of insanity achieved by guys like Our Little Twoofie and other fine right wing pundits who take offense at a national leader trying to live the typical life of a national leader.
There’s a fucking irrationality here – they take offense at the fact that the President of the United States is actually living in the White House, holding state dinners, and actually being assisted by Staff and being protected by the Secret Service.
As if the guy, upon being elected, should show proper humility by dismissing the White House staff and doing his own grocery shopping, eating canned soup in his office every day.
And it’s the spittle-flinging ravers who talk about armed revolution that take offense at the cost of Secret Service protection.
Posted at 0:00 by Gavin M.
Wow. Gav posted from a time vortex!
Sweetie, are you a time lord?
g: You seem unaware of the fact that the WHITE House is somehow now occupied by an UPPITY NEGRO.
There’s still some debate among press on exactly what Obama ordered, since it was hard to hear. He definitely had a burger. I heard him say “basic cheeseburger, medium well.” But someone else heard him say “Swiss mushroom burger.” He definitely asked Mr. Murray for “spicy mustard, if you have it.” There may have also been talk of tater tots.
I’m holding my breath. What will the right wing talking point be? Is a swiss mushroom burger hopelessly elistist? What a bout tater tots? Is it patriotic that he didn’t order French fries, or does it show his anti-Americanism that he didn’t proudly request Freedom Fries? And what of the mustard? Does it smack of the socialist European Union for him to order spicy mustard instead of good ole yellow American French’s?
Come on, Twoofus, I’m sure the FAX is just scrolling into your machine now – lay it on us.
Posted at 0:00 by Gavin M. he’s at the restaurant at the end of the universe, where its always 0:00:00/0/00/0000
Video from Ray’s Hellburger
Oh, man. I am really starting to become disillusioned with Obama. He ordered his burger medium well. That’s disgusting.
He ordered his burger medium well. That’s disgusting.
No, E.coli infection is disgusting.
WTF??!? Pamela Shrieking Harpy Geller is really on the Hannity TV Show tonight? Is this for real? I just turned it on….just came on on the repeat. So far Hannity is just blabbering about Obama, but look:
http://atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com/atlas_shrugs/2009/05/pamela-geller-on-hannity-tonight.html#comments
Of course Obama tried to order a Ben’s Burger, but quickly regained his composure and ordered something American from the store’s teleprompter.
Now the righties have a Doughy Pantload AND a Doughy Hatload. What could be better?
I can’t be arsed to check, but has anyone mentioned how obviously photoshopped Douthat’s pic for the Times is?
Why do they care how pasty he is or how beady his eyes are? It’s not like he’s Maureen Dowd and expected to pass for what 70 year old half blind publishers think is hot.
Lex etc: This was an ad on Crazy Geller’s site:
I hope the author of this pro-Christian-Creationism bunkum never realizes that Cremo’s book of nonsense and fraud was written to defend Hindu creationism. The reincarnation cycles would require the ridiculously long time periods in order to achieve the required slow ascendancy up the states of being, so, sure, okay, this thing in the rock sort of looks like a footprint so therefore I haz prov’d that mankind has been walkin’ & stuf for a billion years The End.
Via Atlass & Juggs:
Also posted by “STARBURSTS” and “GOT_WOOD”?
When he and Biden went out for that burger today, it cost tens of millions in hard earned taxpayer dollars when they just could have sent an aid to get it for then.
Why don’t we all praise the lord for small favors, and just be grateful that Obama didn’t decide to eat that burger on an aircraft carrier telegenically positioned a few miles off the coast to look like it was far out to sea, after being piloted out in a Navy fighter jet. I bet that would have cost even MORE.
HAH! RISE is the idiot who wrote me saying I wasn’t the brightest bulb after I pointed out an inaccuracy on her site. That was when she thought that if it turned out I had a brain tumor that that would explain my 360 back to my good ol’ librul self. It has to be true, her lover (no, I don’t know for sure but I swear there’s something going on there) Robert Spencer left the comment “WOOT!”. Maybe her boobies will be hanging out or something. Hmm….
Re: “Loadpants….He definitely thinks of himself as the “smart face of conservatism”
Try “Fart-Face of conservatism” or “Smart-Ass” of conservatism”
Or “Dumb-Ass Blaaarrrrrt-face”
The list is endless.
What is so hard about understanding that you don’t have a right to a specific platform for your speech, especially not one paid for with private dollars? I thought conservatives were supposed to understand the concept of ownership.
at 1:39 ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
We need a Sadly, Doh! poll:
Goopers 2012:
1) Sarah Palin / Michele Bachmann
That’s my pick!!!
I think it was on Balloon Juice that I saw someone referring to it as the Sarah Michele Bachmann Palin ticket.
Jesus, where do they find these people?
OMG….it’s actually happening….after the Cialis ad…the “Great American Panel” includes Pamela “Shrieking Harpy” Geller…..after this Geico ad or so.
PUT IT ON FOX!
She’s on my TELEVISION!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!!!
The last few nights I think we’ve demonstrated that Truthy’s claim to live in North Carolina can’t possibly be true. The time when the library closes and he has to sign off is much more consistent with Pacific Time.
“…doesn’t mean that Republicans should be happy that their tent is shrinking…”
TENT? Is that what they call it?
OK, time to put this thread back on track.
I would do anything for love,
But I won’t Douthat.
Jah evah see Bush use ah telepromptah? Evah !?!?!
The last few nights I think we’ve demonstrated that Truthy’s claim to live in North Carolina can’t possibly be true.
Maybe he was trying to spell “Northern California,” but those awful Negroes stole his education.
As much of a laff riot as Palin/Bachmann 2012 would be, isn’t anybody afraid that their flameout would be the kiss of death for any woman getting a party nomination for decades?
How about Beck/Keyes?
Or Savage/Boehner?
Frumious/Bandersnatch?
Douthat/Toomey?
Godzilla/Mothra 2012!
Douthat/Toomey?
One more time.
“…doesn’t mean that Republicans should be happy that their tent is shrinking…”
From three rings down to a semicircus.
is there some explanation for that face-mullet all Republicans below a certain age seem required to sport? what’s it for?
From three rings down to a semicircus.
I’d suggest the one-ring Big Apple Circus but unlike the Republicans, they feature no animal acts.
“Godzilla/Mothra 2012!”
I like your ideas SomeNYGuy. Tell me more.
Well, Mothra would fill the demographic need to have a female on the ticket. And Godzilla is a more humane, diplomatic, thoughtful and mediagenic version of Dick Cheney.
It shows they’re all testosterone-y
“Which is the real San Francisco treat.”–Chandler Bing
Take your meds right now, wingnut schizophrenic, and let the doctor know when your hallucinations start fading away.
Box of Rocks/Sack of Hammers.
Pup Tent/Bivouac ’12!
I just licked the inside of my elbow and smelled it. Nothing.
He knows Bush isn’t president anymore, right?
Ooooh, how about this Godzilla? I forgot Mothra entirely though….I’ll make a new pic just for the Campaign.
As if the guy, upon being elected, should show proper humility by dismissing the White House staff and doing his own grocery shopping, eating canned soup in his office every day.
Oh, but can you imagine if he really did? Then, they’d be all over him for “lack of respect for the dignity of the office” or something.
is there some explanation for that face-mullet all Republicans below a certain age seem required to sport? what’s it for?
Yes. It’s to convey a certain mixture of hipness and gravitas that they don’t actually possess.
I like to play with my own feces, because they don’t make fun of me like the other kids do.
New and Innovative ideas from people who think the United States should be nothing more than their own personal parking lot, Landfill, and shooting Range? Really Russ?
Rush won’t like that Russ…
And the Republican Base ain’t gonna allow that, Russ.
The Republican party has been actively wooing the Bigots, Nutters, and Godbags for 50 years. Why Russ? Because there aren’t enough Corporate Executives and Trust-fund Babies in America to get elected without them, that’s why Russ.
Specter too liberal? Sure thing Russ.
I think it was on Balloon Juice that I saw someone referring to it as the Sarah Michele Bachmann Palin ticket.
I think that was me here, last thread. Not that I’m absolutely certain, however.
No, this thread, at 01:59.
Which I will correct, as follows:
I’m voting the Sarah Michele Bachmann-Palin ticket! Twice!!
Ok, completely off topic, Obama is being attacked by the right for asking if the burger place he n Biden went to had any dijon mustard.
No, really.
And it’s on memeorandum.
rooted in conservatism, but eager for innovation
Yeah, Douthat, they could put forward time-tested, brand new policies like abolishing income tax and watching government revenue soar, or spreading peace around the world by bombing the crap out of anyone who looks at you funny. Follow up by upholding America’s proud tradition of the rule of law by torturing poor slobs, who were just on the wrong street corner of Baghdad, to get an excuse for your next invasion, advancing the cause of science by suppressing any government report with inconvenient truths in it, and defending the liberty of Americans by secretly phone tapping them, and you have yourself a moderate policy. We’ll leave the more controversial stuff, like banning all contraception and thereby getting the unwanted pregnancy rate down to zero, to the extremists who, let’s remember, serve the country well.
That’s what I like about Republican policy – the way it fits together so well without any contradictions. It shows they really think about it carefully.
Greetings, I am a British person.
What the fuck is this “queefbait” that the weird mad chap keeps going on about? Is it an American word?
Should I put down some paper?
Cheers,
RH
Instacracker weighs in, heavily:
Yeah man. This is the party of new ideas. They just need somebody like Jack Kemp but not Jack Kemp because he’s dead, but maybe Jack Kempt.
Ok, completely off topic, Obama is being attacked by the right for asking if the burger place he n Biden went to had any dijon mustard.
Seriously, this is because people don’t get Chicago. I was there a couple weeks ago to see the Derek Trucks Band at the Park West. There’s a little hole-in-the-wall hot dog place three doors down, next to the Subway. They offer 4 different kinds of mustard and state right on the menu that ketchup is not available unless the orderee is under 13.
If they REALLY wanted to drive Obama crazy, they’d shut off mustard deliveries to the DC area.
See? Chicago-style politics, complete with anti-American under-appreciation of ketchup. And it’s not “catsup” neither, you fairies.
Ok, completely off topic, Obama is being attacked by the right for asking if the burger place he n Biden went to had any dijon mustard.
You. Are. Fucking. Kidding. Me.
Next week: scandal erupts in DC when Obama is seen eating a sandwich WITHOUT Wonder Bread!
DIJON MUSTARD?!?!?!?
What kind of elitist un-American Frenchy fancypants frou-frou chi-chi homo pussy queer sissy Nancy-boy orders Dijon Mustard on a burger?
I think it was M. Bouffant who once said on some blog or something somewhere “Sarah Michele Bachman-Palin.”
now with the nudie pics she’s alienating the fundies who embraced her.
Because now they know for sure she doesn’t have a PENIS. The release of the wetsuit/dildo pics will perk them right back up, though.
Godzilla/Mothra 2012!
I rate for Mothra! I can’t wait to see the two tiny Japanese ladies singing the national anthem in unison!
Ok, completely off topic, Obama is being attacked by the right for asking if the burger place he n Biden went to had any dijon mustard.
Heh. We had this argument right here two weeks ago.
Stoopid rightwingers always behind the times…
Gilmore touchingly asks:
“is there some explanation for that face-mullet all Republicans below a certain age seem required to sport? what’s it for?”
Cf. some Sherlock Holmes story I can’t remember. They wear this so that when they reach even THEIR limit of tolerance for the expanding stoopidity of the party–as some part of even them knows to be inevitable–they can shave it off and go unrecognized for awhile after they run off screaming into the non-partisan night. Holmes asserts that the “disguise” of having-shaved is more potent than one of wearing-a-false-beard.
What did the President spread on his sandwich and when did he spread it?
I propose that the use of the word “teleprompter” in an argument signals an automatic loss by the user. Same as Godwin’s Law.
More of just a sideshow. And all the have left are some pinheads and the bearded lady.
Speaking of, did Ann Coulter mention anything at that TIME hoo-haw event about Michelle Obama? Seems unusual for her not to have stuck her stubble into a microphone and spout off. I suppose I should be thankful.
You Cannot Escape the Truth said,
May 6, 2009 at 8:59
I like to play with my own feces, because they don’t make fun of me like the other kids do.
Hmmm… does anyone know a ventriloqist with a sick sense of humour who is looking to make a few bucks?
You know that’s right, and not just because false-beards are tragically ludicrous and super-fakeo to the max.
Also, and such as, mustard is completely unappetizing. But whatever those Chicegans do in the privacy of their own hot dog vendor, I’m not gonna complain about it. Just as long as they don’t try to shove some freaky mustard-dog down my throat.
Well, Mothra would fill the demographic need to have a female on the ticket. And Godzilla is a more humane, diplomatic, thoughtful and mediagenic version of Dick Cheney.
Of course, having two Japanese folk/kaiju on the ticket isn’t going to play with the Republicans outside of the West Coast.
They’re going to want a concession to them, like the Amazing Colossal Man. Former military, that guy.
“Actually after the last few months it is clear that Obama, Biden, and Pelosi are not even liberals. They’re far-left, hard core radical militants.”
Are they? Well then, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
“Already Midwestern Democrats have refused to commit political suicide with carbon Cap and Trade. ”
Yes, they prefer real suicide, as in tornadoes.
“When he and Biden went out for that burger today, it cost tens of millions in hard earned taxpayer dollars”
Well, he’s only charging republican taxpayers, so I don’t mind
Holmes asserts that the “disguise” of having-shaved is more potent than one of wearing-a-false-beard.
What kind of humourless pedant would assert that this is really from a Father Brown story?
OTOH, the Holmes mythos does include blue carbuncles which are always good, especially if you tie half a brain behind them.
The reason for face-mullets on Republicans: to hide jowls or weak chins.
You can usually detect the subterfuge if you look closely…
Re: Circus.
I stand totally, awesomely correctect. The Sideshow of the GOP has pinheads, bearded lady, and clowns.
Lots and lots of clowns.
Michele Bachmann / Earl Turner 2012
w00t!