A week late, we notice that we’ve somehow been nominated for Best Writing in the Koufax Awards. We write somehow because we think it should be pretty obvious that there are no native English speakers on the staff of Sadly, No! Enterprises. Voting for us is almost like voting for France.
Now that we’ve provided you with a reason to vote for us, please do so.
Always on the lookout for threats to Western civilization, we reported yesterday on WorldNetDaily’s David Kupelian’s shocking expos? about his homosexual tendencies, his son’s homo-erotic journey, the satanic plot to turn today’s young people into corporate sexual slaves. [This may not be the best summary available, please ask your pharmacist about potential side effects.]
Perhaps it was wishful thinking on our part, but we had expected Mr. Kupelian to bring up lesbian kissing in part 2, published today. Sadly, No! As s.z. from World O’Crap reveals here, things are both better and worse. Or worse and worse really. So what is really behind this Sodom-and-Gomorrah scene? [Were we not supposed to laugh at that by the way?] Kupelian has the answers!
Remember in the classic, biblical epic films of the 1950s, how Sodom and Gomorrah were portrayed? Drunken men with multiple piercings and bright red robes, with one loose woman under each arm, cavorting in orgiastic revelry against a background of annoying, mosquito-like music?
Biblical films of the 1950s?!? Isn’t Kupelian writing about George W. Bush’s college years? As for us, if we had a nickel for every time we’ve been caught in orgiastic revelry, well, let’s just say the US national debt problem would be solved and we would have enough left over to cover Andrew Sullivan’s operating costs.
Read the rest of this entry »
Last month, Andrew Sullivan found himself quite concerned about the spending numbers President Bush had offered to the New York Times. Our man in P-Town had noticed that every study of government spending increase during Bush’s presidency finds said increases to have been much higher than what Bush claimed. His reaction?
Note that these studies are from groups favorably disposed to the administration. There are a few options here. Either I’ve missed something or the president a) doesn’t know what he’s talking about or b) he’s lying. Let’s hope I’ve missed something, shall we?
Yesterday, Andrew eliminated one option:
Here’s the truth: If you take defense and entitlement spending out of the picture altogether (and they have, of course, gone through the roof), Bush and the Republican Congress have upped domestic spending by a whopping 21 percent in three years. That compares with an actual decrease in such spending of 0.7 percent in the first three years of Bill Clinton. Spending on education is up 61 percent; on energy 22 percent; on health and human services 22 percent; on the Labor Department a massive 56 percent. There really is no spinning of this. Bill Clinton was a fiscal conservative. George W. Bush is a fiscal liberal of a kind we haven’t seen since LBJ.
In order to avoid having to call Bush a liar however, Sullivan is responding to a quote by Rick Santorum above. Yet Santorum isn’t saying anything that differs from what Bush & Cheney have said. (The latter told Tim Russert in August that he was a fiscal conservative too!) For extra bonus points, notice Andrew say that Democrats might be worse, right before bringing up a study that found Democratic legislatures to increase spending less than Republican ones at the state level.
Anyhoo, since Andrew no longer thinks he missed something, can we get him to tell us whether Bush is a) a liar or b) clueless. (We’d go with a little bit of column a, a little bit of column b ourselves.)
This should be good.
Don’t let crap like this bother you, please:
WASHINGTON (AP) — U.S. and Canadian military aircraft have scrambled nearly 1,700 times to intercept or divert suspicious aircraft since September 11, but routine drills illustrate how terrorists could penetrate the airspace around the nation’s capital. [Emphasis added]
Look over here — we’re going to Mars!
Officials said the exercises conducted in early- and mid-December are the latest to show that the best prevention against another terror tragedy in the skies is thorough pre-emptive intelligence and screening, not a last-minute intercept or shootdown of a hijacked commercial airliner. [Emphasis added]
Thank you officials! Come fly the friendly skies everybody!
This is way more important! David Kupelian wants everyone to know that not only is he not gay, his son Joshua isn’t going to become a homosexual either. (Hey, at least he didn’t name his son Paris.) But first, a WorldNetDaily disclaimer:
Editor’s note: This is the first part of a groundbreaking, two-part series on today’s youth culture, by WND Vice President and Managing Editor David Kupelian. It is a frank and in-depth exploration of an often-shocking subject, and may not be suitable reading for children. Parental discretion is advised.
Kids out of the room? On with the show! David writes:
my mind wanders back a few years to a time when my son wanted to wear a different “uniform.” …
Danger Will Robinson! Danger!
One little thing, though. Mark wore a choker around his neck. Of course, Joshua had always regarded necklaces, bracelets, earrings and the like as strictly girls’ stuff, and wouldn’t dream of donning such gear himself and “looking like a girl” (or a “weirdo”).
Of course he hadn’t! What kind of a weirdo would ever want to do that??? I mean, my 12-year old son is no lover of cock, who do you take him for?!? [Cue Frederick.]
I took him for a walk out on the jetty where we could be alone. … The trance was broken. Realization set in. He cried briefly, gave me a hug, and assured me manfully he did not want to look like a girl and wear a necklace.
Later, my son and I took turns at manfully ordering the wife around the house, too lazy to go to the fridge to get a can of Milwaukee’s Best. [How does a 12-year old assure his father “manfully” anyway? Did he kick him in the balls while saying it?]
in this case it’s an allegiance to an increasingly defiant musical, social, sexual and cultural world, a mysterious (to parents) realm that seems magically to be drawing millions of children into it.
So far, David hasn’t mentioned lesbian kissing — and that is a big disappointment.
For three years, journalist Patricia Hersch journeyed into this exotic subculture. She observed, listened to, questioned, bonded with, and won the trust of eight teens in the typical American town of Reston, Va., ultimately producing her acclaimed portrait…
n=8. What else you got?
“Kids are invited to participate in sexual contests on stage or are followed by MTV cameras through their week of debauchery,”
At last — lesbians are coming, we can feel it.
Not quite. To be sure, millions of youths are in the grip of something destructive, but the corporate aspect is just the visible part. Behind both the corporate manipulators and the youths caught in their selfish and shameful influence lurks another, much more formidable and all-pervasive “marketing campaign” ? a malevolent dimension that has no one’s best interests at heart, and which is programmed to devour all in its path, from the highest to the lowest.
That “something,” which we shall unmask tomorrow in Part 2, is literally intent on degrading this generation so totally that little hope would be left for the next generations of Americans.
Tomorrow!?! But we want to know now! You heard the man boys and girls — come back tomorrow. And hold on to your tuques.
[Added a link, changed the title.]
Steve at No More Mister Nice Blog brings you the latest news on UFO activities, as seen through the eyes of Charles “Chuck” Colson:
Ross is convinced that the so-called UFOs are actually evidence of demonic activity.
We regret to say that there is more…
ET phone satan.
Last month, we wrote about a new disease going around, calling it the besides that syndrome. We had hoped that the illness had run its course, but we are saddened to see that Max Boot is the latest victim of this horrific predicament. See Max show advanced signs of infection here: Q&A: Neocon power examined
Besides the fact that we managed to convince the Bush administration to launch a $200bn war that’s killed hundreds and injured thousands of coalition soldiers, neocons really aren’t that influential in Washington.
Ah, poor Max…
(8) Get well, get well soon (8)
(8) We hope that you get well (8)
Happy days are here again! Minutes seconds of entertainment await if you click on the link and decide to take the Christian Science Monitor’s quiz Are you a “neocon”?
This may be the greatest quiz ever, and it’s amazingly easy to figure out how you too can be a neocon (or, as David Brooks likes to joke, a Jew.) Typical questions look like this:
Q. What do you think should have been the US response after September 11?
1. Hide under the bed and cry for mommy. 2. The World Trade Center towers needed major repairs anyway — it’s just a bummer about all those dead people. 3. Ask the government of Iran if it knows who did it. 4. The only problem with the Bush administration’s policy is that he waited so long before attacking Iraq and tried to get support from the traitorous French.
So take the quiz — you might learn a thing or two. Well, maybe not.
Not too long ago, we had emailed World O’Crap’s best friend (Bill O’Reilly,) to ask why Bill was lying about his book having sold more copies than Hillary Rodham Clinton’s. Imagine our surprise when we saw an email from “BillOReilly.com Customer Service” in our inbox this morning:
We are following up with you to ensure that your customer service inquires
that you had contacted us with in the past have been resolved. There was an
error with our system and some of our Customer Service emails have gone
unanswered. If you still have an outstanding issue with us, please reply to
this e mail so we may help resolve your problem.We apologize for any inconvenience that this might have caused you and thank
you for being a apart of our community.
What can we say, besides “you’re welcome?”
The last few days, we must concede, have been very difficult here at Sadly, No! International. It’s not because we were in the hospital. (The hospital! What is it?) And it’s not because Ayn Randian Princess Amber Pawlik never replied to our email. If only she kept writing something, Amber’s email silence would be tolerable. Sadly, the Amber Canon? has not grown of late, and we find ourselves adrift. There’s just no denying that Amber’s absence leaves a void — and we have to fill that void.
But how will you do it you ask? Well, we had to think about it for a while. Fortunately, we soon came to see how one could lead his (or her, this brilliant plan does not discriminate on the basis of sex!) entire life the Pawlik way. Hence we offer Livin La Vida Pawlik:
And so begins our new life — we feel better already!