On the radio last night, Sullivan said Atrios was violating a “central tenet of the blogosphere”* by writing under an alias.
Can we get Sullivan to admit he just made that up to score cheap points at Atrios’ expense and avoid any discussion of substantive issues?
*Update: Upon further review, Sullivan’s exact words were “a very basic tenet of the blogosphere.” We apologize for the error.
World O’Crap, (with the help of her friends the antihistamines,) has another list of this week’s top 3 idiots, non-annoying variety. Sadly, No! reader and lover of cock Amber Pawlik comes in at number two.
Congratulations!
Last month, World O’Crap broke the story about Thomas Sowell’s frustration over the “liberal nanny state’s” ban on kidney sales. Thomas, who got a job at Stanford purely on merits and not as part of some affirmative action program for people with really bad eye-wear, argued:
Banning organ sales does nothing to make the poor less poor. Nor do those 80,000-plus people on waiting lists have to be rich. Three economists have estimated the cost of buying an organ in a free market at a price well within most people’s budgets.
Needless to say, we completely agree with Thomas. If only the government would get off our backs, we could stroll the aisles at the local Pancreas “R” Us and find that perfect organ. Until the ban is lifted however, finding the right person who could give the perfect kidney for the busy executive who has everything (except a kidney) remains a challenge. Sure, you could troll America’s poorest neighborhoods and ask randomly — but that could take hours. As Frank Costanza once remarked: “As I rained blows upon him I realized there had to be a better way!” Well Frank, there is.
Thomas Sowell, please meet the amazing Natalya:
Moscow’s medical workers discovered a magnificent gift of a sixteen-year-old girl Natalya Demkina from Saransk. The girl possesses “dual vision”. She is capable of discerning a person’s internal organs without using X-ray or ultrasound. […]
How is this possible you ask? That’s the best part:
The Demkins family remains puzzled as to the origin of their daughter”s gift. Perhaps, Natasha”s latest surgery has triggered such “vision improvement”. Natasha”s appendix has been removed. […] In a month after that incident, the teenager was able to surprise her mother with her unique quality.
This is the genius part of the system, over which we claim full ownership. Find someone willing to pay for your appendix (How hard can that be? If you have any problems, just ask Thomas to hook you up.) Once it (the appendix) has been removed, you too can have Natalya’s gift and go into business with Thomas. Please don’t tell us you have some doubts about Natalya’s special gift?
“I see a crimped tube similar to our vacuum cleaner inside of you. I also see two beans and a tomato that resembles a bulls’ heart,” states the girl. Back then, she was not aware of medical terminology and could not provide a proper name for a heart…
Here we see that because Natalya didn’t know medical terms like “heart” she had to describe a human heart as tomato that resembles a bulls’ “heart” — apparently because in Russia children are taught that bulls have hearts while humans must make do with a tomato. That doesn’t seem entirely kosher to us, but who has time for such worries?
Natalya can do it all anyway:
Natasha was shown a woman with a whole bunch of illnesses. The girl managed to list every single one of them. Further ultrasound examination simply proved her final diagnosis. […] Natasha is capable of distinguishing even the tiniest pathology on a molecular level in the deepest corners of a human body
See? See?!?
So here’s our plan: Sell your appendix, which will give you molecular vision. Offer your services as an “organ scout.” Go around socio-economically disadvantaged neighborhoods looking for a match. Make your best offer. Remove the organ. Deliver to its new owner. Collect $200. Pass Go. Don’t worry, be happy!
It’s all so simple really!
In the process of taking a shot at Al Sharpton [!] our man in P-town Andrew Sullivan links to ABC’s John Stossel, and his Lies, Myths and Downright Stupidity – Stossel’s List of Popularly Reported Misconceptions. Not even Sullivan himself has ever attacked straw with such enthusiasm. Stossel sets everyone straight about such myths as:
Who believes this: Basically, the entire population of the planet earth, along with many of the rock samples collected by the Mars Rover.
Why this is wrong: Sherri Kowalski and her husband say they need to work two jobs but John shows that they don’t really need to, it’s just because they wanted to get a new minivan. Which they obviously didn’t really need, but rather just wanted. Do you see the difference people? Watch more of John on ABC’s 20/20, and come to see why you don’t need a TV after all.
Who believes this: The marketing department of consumer good companies. Single-cell organisms. Most customers at Hobo McCheaper Craps.
Why this is wrong: Some people with lots of money say they aren’t happy.
Oops I crapped my argument moment: A MONEY magazine columnist is quoted saying that happiness increases along with income but only up to $50,000 (family income.) In 2002, approximately 50% of black families had incomes under $29,000. 50% of all American families show an income under $42,000*, which if John is to be trusted would indicate to us that for most American families more money would indeed mean more happiness. Then again, John is correct that no store (not even Wal-Mart) sells happiness in a convenient, resealable pouch.
We aim to please here at S,N!E*, and as part of our eternal commitment to customer service and our efforts to achieve ISO9001 certification for Total Quality Management, we are pleased to introduce our all new Sadly, No! Weekly Forecast. What does this week’s forecast have in store?
* Sadly, No! Enteprises
Amber Pawlik emails the management with this simple request:
I was wondering if I could get a picture of Mr. Sadly, No! Seeing as he is my biggest fan and marketer. *smooooch*
Whoa there! We don’t think we’ve been this turned on since Ace & Gary first hit the airwaves. Upon further review however, we can but give one answer to our very special friend Amber:
We’ve mentioned in previous posts our (inexplicable) multiple nominations in the Koufax awards, which included such categories as Best New Blog, Best Writing, Best Blog, and Most Humorous Post. It appears that the judges have come to their senses however (and that we overestimated the importance of the Amber Vote?) as the initial list of nominees has been narrowed down to a few finalists in all the categories.
In the process, your humble servants were weeded out of all but one. But if we had to choose just one, that would be it, as our essay The Dickification of the Western Female is on the short list for Most Humorous Post. We believe it is fitting in many ways, and surely Sadly, No! commenter and expert on all matters cock (the inimitable Frederick) would agree.
We’ve update the links in the top right corner to the finalists entries so that you may cast your ballot now. You must should can vote for us here.
We would also highly recommend you vote in all the other categories, which are full of extremely deserving folks, including World O’Crap, Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness, Jesus’ General, Opinions You Should Have, The Poor Man, skippy, the bush kangaroo, and Tbogg for Most Humorous Blog.
Over at No More Mister Nice Blog, Steve reveals why Rob Dreher (not your father’s Catholic) has launched a full scale attack on The Pope?. Join Steve for the exciting coverage into the Case of the Missing Quote, Mel Gibson, and Peggy Noonan.
While we’re on the topic of the targets of famous personalities hated by the media, The Tooney Bin reports on the latest faux scandal at the Village Voice, where the Howard Dean cheerleading section is upset that some people prefer candidates other than Dean. (Shocking, we know.)
Meanwhile, Clark gets pounded by that Dean-hating media over and over and over with the same crap (“Clinton puppet,” “Republican,” “flip-flopper,” etc., etc.) that’s been debunked a million times over. And we’re supposed to weep for Howard because he can’t shake the “angry” meme, even though he built his whole campaign on being the pissed off outsider? Give me a fucking break.
We guess a warning about language might have been in order. Too late for that now. Go read the rest anyway. Our advice to the Dean campaign: If you want Dean to shake the angry label, get him to simmer down now!
This post is dedicated to bringing two totally unrelated topics together.
As part of her marathon of non-sleep, S.Z. at World O’Crap provides her list of the three annoying idiots of the week. Luckily, we have not made the list, but there’s always next time. So we offer for your reading pleasure:
Coming in at number 3, Rush “The more doctors I consult, the healthier I can be” Limbaugh. A close second is a group award because competition was very tight: the Borg Lucianne readers collective. And at #1, please give him a warm welcome, Sean “Hey, where’s my staffer?” Hannity.
When we reviewed Adam Yoshida’s book yesterday, we thought things could not get worse for our fellow Canadian. But just like God, Adam works in mysterious ways. Let’s pay a short visit, shall we?
In three years in office, President Bush has […] forced Libya to surrender it?s WMD programs without firing a shot[.]
This is true, we think, only in the sense that President Bush did not personally fire a weapon, or even a weapon-related program, in the general direction of Libya. What has made Adam very upset today however is all those cry baby conservatives who are concerned about the deficit, runaway spending, immigration reforms, etc… Why should they shut the hell up, dear Robin Adam?
By increasing the Republican base and working to bring about the final destruction of the Democratic Party, we are doing the Lord?s work of bringing about a real victory for the right in America.
And on the 5th day God said: “Thou shall lower thy capital gains tax.”
It’s not all bad news in YoshidaLand however — it turns out that the proposed incarceration of all homosexuals can be postponed. For now:
So long as the Log Cabin Republicans and people like Andrew Sullivan remain faithful and loyal supporters, there is every reason to listen to and respect their views. But, if they wish to oppose the President, then they can go straight to Hell[.]
Canada: A land of friendly, welcoming and kind people.