Sadly, No!

Then again, even if you have plans we suggest you go ahead and cancel them. Why? It’s a once-in-lifetime opportunity to meet many of biggest conservative stars (including the real Ann Coulter, not the talking doll one that usually shows up on Cable TV.) You want to know more? Sure:

It’s usually the national liberal media savaging conservatives…
but on this night we get even!

Join the Media Research Center and the conservative movement’s finest as we roast the year’s most blatantly liberal members of the national “news” media.

You can click on the link above (provided your computer is firewall-free of course) and see many of the past presenters and acceptors. This year’s acceptors include Mona Charen, who is no doubt being singled out for her recent article arguing that President Bush never used the word imminent, so there! (There was also her other essay on the Wilson/Plame affair, you know, that bogus thing.)

You can see pictures of the 2003 event here. They include Ann Coulter and all of her 45 pounds, Steven Moore featured in last year’s Star Wars Theme, and so much more.

How much would you pay for the chance to attend such an event? $400 billion dollars? $530 billion? Wait — don’t call now! Here is our offer to you:

You could plunk down $4,000 and send s.z. from World O’Crap to the NRO Cruise. Or for a a mere $250, you could send her to attend the MRC’s award ceremony, giving her a chance to meet Ann, as he is now known. So what are you waiting for?

Responding to our post below, the good people at Trying to Grok offer this summary of our work:

His typical post consists of quoting some other blogger, saying “uh, not even” and then ending the post. Rarely does he give any insight into the issue; rather he seems to enjoy namecalling and “yeah, whatever” as his response. I’ve tried reading his blog before, but it’s so vitriolic and uncreative, just a bunch of nuh-uhs to other bloggers.

Insight? The blog who has given the world The Dickification of the Western Female (a post that rivals with Den Beste’s work for length,) is taken to task for not being creative. How very, very sad!

Update: We forgot to mention that Sarah also faults us for mocking Steven Den Beste given that we’ve never fisked him. We’ve shortened SDB more than once (on the old site at least) but we’ve never fisked say, his pet “theory” transnational progressivism for the same reason we’ve never fisked Sauron’s or Darth Vader’s plans for world domination. While they would likely all make for great conversation if you’re sufficiently drunk, it would be a shame to waste sober time on such works of fiction. [Shorter concept developed by Daniel Davies.]

Kyle Williams, who makes Ben Shapiro look like George Will, has had enough of all this “sex” stuff he keeps hearing about (although his parents assure him they don’t know anything about it.) Kyle explains:

In a world of sex-saturated media, is there any way we can avoid succumbing to a wasted lifestyle? Moreover, in a world where some government schools encourage sex (as long as it is safe) heterosexually and homosexually, is there any hope in the battleground of sexual purity?

And if there is one soldier who stands erect on the battleground of sexual purity, it is Kyle Williams. President Bush however:

The problem is not something that can be fixed, as President Bush believes, by doubling federal funding for bureaucratic programs. Although they have plenty of money, this problem is not something the White House can fix, using tax dollars to inform families on how to live morally.

Yet, who am I to criticize? President Bush is much better than Al Sharpton.

Aim for the sky Kyle, aim for the sky… Just don’t get too close to your happy man loaf.

At the request of alicublog, link to Kyle’s article added. En-joy.

Those who want to move “toward more individual freedom, free markets and voluntary cooperation among sovereign nations,” and those who:

want to continue the Clinton-Gore path toward global socialist government[.]

Which kind are you?

David Frum, the Robin to Richard Perle’s Batman, offers this most interesting observation:

The US did not in fact assassinate Salvador Allende, or even have a hand in his overthrow ? but if it did…

When you’re busy writing a book, as Mr. Frum recently was, you stop having time to read the newspaper it seems:

CIA acknowledges involvement in Allende’s overthrow, Pinochet’s rise
September 19, 2000
Web posted at: 9:06 PM EDT (0106 GMT)

WASHINGTON (AP) — The CIA is acknowledging for the first time the extent of its deep involvement in Chile, where it dealt with coup-plotters, false propagandists and assassins.

One could even read all of this on the CIA’s own web site:

Under ?Track II? of the strategy, CIA sought to instigate a coup to prevent Allende from taking office after he won a plurality in the 4 September election and before, as Constitutionally required because he did not win an absolute majority, the Chilean Congress reaffirmed his victory. CIA was working with three different groups of plotters. All three groups made it clear that any coup would require the kidnapping of Army Commander Rene Schneider, who felt deeply that the Constitution required that the Army allow Allende to assume power. CIA agreed with that assessment. Although CIA provided weapons to one of the groups, we have found no information that the plotters? or CIA?s intention was for the general to be killed. Contact with one group of plotters was dropped early on because of its extremist tendencies. CIA provided tear gas, submachine-guns and ammunition to the second group. The third group attempted to kidnap Schneider, mortally wounding him in the attack. CIA had previously encouraged this group to launch a coup but withdrew support four days before the attack because, in CIA?s assessment, the group could not carry it out successfully.

The CIA’s involvement in Chilean politics, and the support for (and/or indifference to,) the overthrow of Allende, are so obvious to anyone not entirely blinded by idiocy or ideology (see here, here, here, there, wherever,) it’s hard to know what to say really. Just this perhaps:

Remember: David Frum thinks he has useful advice for President Bush.

Greetings dear readers. Nearly 30 hours without a post — and already the little people (i.e. Frederick) are complaining in the comments. What have we done with our usual frenetic pace? The monsters must be fed. And so we show up on this rainy Saturday evening to throw a bone hoping to calm down the masses.

Being Germany-based, we’ve developed an interest in other blogs written by non-Germans living here. One such outfit is here. It seemed interesting in the beginning — though we figured that anyone who refers to Captain Stratego (Steven Den Beste) as “The Best” could obviously not be relied on for too much. Back in November the author offered her response to “typical” pro-Europe arguments, countering each with an interesting mix of nonsense and evidence that doesn’t support her “arguments.” [Why yes, Andrew Sullivan is on her blogroll, why do you ask?] Being immune to irony, the author concluded her post with a shot at “Europhiles” who “often make irresponsible generalizations[.]” And you know there’s no better way to counter that than to offer misinformed, inaccurate “observations” about Europe. But we digress.

Like all good Bush supporters, Sarah as she’s known has been somewhat disappointed by some of Bush’s policies. To wit:

And I’ve tried to defend him and disregard some really big bloopers he’s had lately, like with illegal aliens and lots of government spending and (in my own opinion) the Marriage Amendment.

Yet these are mere bloopers dear friends — like a 400 500 a lot of fucking money medicare bill. Bloopers you see. So what is the big problem?

Tell me this isn’t true. What is he thinking? Fifteen to twenty million dollars for the arts? When we’re running such a huge deficit? Oh man. I can’t even begin to justify that one to myself. I’m just crushed.

$20 million dollars. And she’s crushed! This reminds us of our latest award-winning game, The Real Scandal Pronouncement!

Never mind trillion dollar tax cuts, the $200 billion war, the [insert large number here] medicare bill — the real scandal is an extra $20 million for the NEA.

Remind us again why conservatives believe we should take their fiscal conservatism seriously?

GOP Wake-Up Call

Besides the fact that Republican presidents accumulate record-setting deficits every time they are in office, the GOP truly is the party of fiscal discipline.

Rules of the game can be found here.

Our new and completely awesome game, the Real Scandal Pronouncement?, is here. A prize is involved.

And now, time for a bit of masochism:

Besides the fact that the Sadly, No! blog’s sole output for today appears to consist of little more than recycled jokes of dubious quality, it’s totally awesome.

Condi Rice reports:

The administration sought to put the blame for any intelligence gaps on looters and former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, whom National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice said was so secretive that “he allowed the world to continue to wonder” what weapons he still had. […]

But the world “will never know fully” the extent of Iraq’s weapons programs because documents and evidence were lost during the looting that took place when Saddam’s regime collapsed, she said in an interview on ABC’s morning news program.

Rice said the administration wants to get all the facts to compare what the White House thought would be found in Iraq and what was actually found.

“Nobody will want to know better and more about what we found when we got to Iraq than this president and the administration,” she said. [laughter]

Whatever the outcome, Rice said the administration would not change its position that Saddam had to go.

“The judgment is going to be the same: This is a dangerous man in a dangerous part of the world and it was time to do something about this threat,” she said. [Emphasis and snark added]

How do you pose a threat with no fucking weapons Condi? Is this the best Stanford can offer the world?

Let us help:

L. Brent Bozell III (personal motto: we’re gonna keep making L. Brent Bozells until we get one that doesn’t like like a cross between Montreal Expos mascot Youppi and Dr. Zaius) is mad — and he’s not gonna take it anymore.

Why you wonder? Let him tell you:

I represent the Parents Television Council’s 850,000 members, along with untold millions of parents who, like me, are disgusted, revolted, fed up, horrified — I don’t know how to underscore this enough — by the raw sewage, ultra violence, graphic sex, and raunchy language that is flooding into our living rooms night and day.

And that’s just from watching The View! But it’s not all:

Consider the following, which aired on an NBC special this past May at 8:00 – during the so-called Family Hour. In this scene, Dana Carvey appears as one of his old Saturday Night Live characters, “Church Lady,” to talk to former child star Macaulay Culkin about his sleepovers with Michael Jackson.

Church Lady: “Did he ever dangle anything in front of you at the sleepovers?” Culkin: “Dangle what?” Church Lady: “Oh, I don’t know. Say, his ‘happy man loaf’? ?

Well, who here hasn’t dangled his happy man loaf? Ann Coulter does it all the time. Anything else Mr. L?

I am a father of five who has spent twenty five years trying to shield my children from offensive messages coming across the airwaves I own. God willing, I’ll be a grandfather some day.

Hmmm, on that one you may want to call not on God but on a little bit of sex education so that the little ones have some idea of what doing the nasty, getting it on, doing some horizontal folk dancing, getting their jollies, the horizontal mambo — well, so they know what all of that means.

Thanks to Jesus’ General for the link.

According to Rush, we collectively creamed our pants on this side of the aisle:

Today’s great Wall Street Journal editorial says in its headline: “Anti-Bush Partisans Aren’t Listening to What David Kay is Saying.” Democrats are having orgasms over the Chief U.S. Weapons Inspector’s appearance before the Select Committee on Intelligence on his search for Saddam’s WMDs. They ignore Kay’s rejection of their claim that Bush lied to take the nation to war for oil, and his important statement that the intelligence community failed the president. [Orgasm inducing emphasis added]

Please also see our brand new game: The Real Scandal Pronouncement? (or scroll down a bit, assuming your hands aren’t otherwise occupied.)

Thanks to Blair for the hand job link.