Sadly, No!

Among the many complaints about the new Iraqi flag introduced yesterday was that indigenous Iraqis had no say in whether the original one should be discarded, much less the design of the new one. “This is a new era,” said Hamid al-Kafaei, the spokesman for the Iraqi Governing Council yesterday. “We cannot continue with Saddam’s flag.” Apparently, the so-called “coalition” didn’t consult anyone. “So far, we haven’t received anything about this from Baghdad,” said Igor Novichenko, who is in charge of such matters in the UN’s protocol unit. Among local Iraqis, reactions range from the disgusted:

Dhurgham, a 23-year-old student, said: We cheered Iraqi footballers under that flag for a long time. I feel it represents me as an Iraqi. I don’t like this new flag. It does not look Iraqi. It is more like the Turkish or Israeli flags. The main reason I don’t like it is that it comes from the Americans. (04/28/04 Independent UK)

To the violently disgusted:

What gives these people the right to throw away our flag, to change the symbol of Iraq? asked Salah, a building contractor of normally moderate political opinions. It makes me very angry because these people were appointed by the Americans. I will not regard the new flag as representing me but only traitors and collaborators.

Although the CPA’s claims that the new design is from a contest winner, the designer himself revealed that he was unaware of any contest.

The new flag is the work of an Iraqi artist resident in London called Rifat Chadirji whose design was the best of those considered. He is also the brother of Nassir al-Chaderchi, the chairman of the IGC committee charged with choosing a new flag for Iraq. I had no idea about a competition to design the flag. “My brother just called me and asked me to design a flag on behalf of the IGC. Nobody told me about a competition,” Mr Chadirji told The Independent yesterday. (04/28/04 Independent UK)

But this may be a situation where the CPA isn’t lying, only mostly-lying. There was something of a contest, but it was restricted to the same creative geniuses that came up with the bold plan to invade an unarmed nation to disarm them of non-existent weapons, the military plan to smack around the citizenry for an indefinite period of time and the sensitive cultural strategies to make them like it. Here’s what Sadly, No!’s crack team of muckrakers discovered.

This is Iraq’s original flag, rendered in red, green and black, the three colors of Islam. The color scheme predates the regime of Saddam Hussein but the Arabic text, which says Alu Akbar, or “God is Great”, was added by Hussein when he became more serious about his religion. Iraqis regard the flag as their own rather than Hussein’s or the Ba’ath party’s, and don’t understand why the occupation’s representatives, the CPA, discarded it without consulting them.No one is sure why designing a new flag was a priority over, say, revealing just exactly who Iraq will be be turned over to in 8 weeks.

The new Iraqi flag features two parallel blue stripes along the bottom, at first thought to represent the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, but on closer analysis more evocative to Iraqis of the vise-like grip unarmed Iraq is under from nuclear-armed US and Israel. The yellow strip in between represents the Kurds, the only Iraqi community that fully supports the US presence, nestled within the protection of the WMD-possessing presences in the region. This amounts to a flagular neener neener from the Kurds to the 80 percent of Iraqis who are Arabs and not represented on the flag. The blue crescent, symbolic of Islam, but not rendered in Islamic colors of red, black or green, serves to remind Iraqis that they can be forced to do anything, even accept the doo-wop classic Blue Moon by The Marcels as the national anthem, if the occupiers so desire.

This modified version of the discarded original flag was proposed by an anonymous corporation. The following is from their contest proposal:

“We hope to bridge two cultures using a shared love of wholesome fresh-baked goodness, representing family, and convenient petroleum-based artificial frozen doughlike matter, representing the oil of Iraq and the dough our corporation can make from it. The crescent roll incorporates the logo of Islam rolled in dough, also representing the potentially huge profits available to us in this huge market if observant Muslims associate serving crescents with their daily prayer breaks — something they must do up to five times a day. The friendly little mascot, which sports a traditional Shiite turban and white beard, is just like a little tribal elder. He’s a friendly, familiar figure, especially to children. He’s always hanging around the kitchen, making inane comments and getting in the way but there’s nothing you can do about it, also representing family.”

A frustrated State Department official reminded assembled reporters holding free boxes of the product that religions don’t “have logos”, and tersely declined to comment when they asked why he hated the wholesome fresh-baked goodness of hot crescent rolls. A Bush campaign spokesperson and influential presence on the judges’ panel said that a big donation hinged on the the flag’s slogan being changed from “Allah is great!” to “Crescents are great! Hoo hoooooooo.” At this point several reporters from Arab media walked out in protest, apparently in a hatred of our freedoms and love of fresh-baked wholesome goodness.

PNAC members of the Pentagon’s influential citizens’ advisory clique celebrated so loudly when they saw the Israeli flag included among the final entries that they didn’t hear it was only there for color comparison to the eventual winner.

Still, they were overjoyed to see the official PNAC contest entry among the finalists. It shows the Star of David, representing Israel, and an adorable gas pump, representing the role of the new Iraq in the Middle East, displayed together like two happy new friends existing in great joy and mutual respect, apparently holding hands.

Secretary Rumsfeld’s personal entry reflects the fabulous success of his efficient, low-cost military strategy for occupying a strategic Muslim country unilaterally, with a light, flexible force that won’t cost the taxpayer anything if you don’t count the ballooning $200 billion it’s cost to date. The crescent moon of Islam, rendered in black, represents the Iraqi oil resources which will happily fund the occupation and reconstruction.

The bar represents, literally, a bar, normally forbidden in Muslim countries (which ban alcohol use) but which will soon become a familiar sight as thirsty G.I.’s drown their sorrows over being stuck in a never-ending occupation of a hot, hostile desert land. The bar also represents the many stripper poles which will appear with the permanent military presence. The crescent moon on the pole signifies the grateful Iraqi women who will take advantage of these exciting new job opportunities that culturally free them from the dreary masculine professions of architecture and engineering they previously filled but are now being done by American men. (The moon is a traditional symbol of women in religions and myths throughout the now hugely safer world.) The line of stars represents the occupying soldiers confidently holding off the Iraq insurgency all around them, represented by the two red stripes. “No, our boys aren’t surrounded by bloodthirsty insurgents” Rummy told reporters. “The Iraqis are gathered like people watching a glorious, patriotic parade and the red represents the rose petals they’re gonna damn well throw even if we have to mow every motherlovin’ one of them down and use the flowers from their goddamn funerals.”

The CIA entry uses an experimental pictographic language called Happy Fun Picto-Speak to represent phonetically the pronunciation of Iraq on the familiar backdrop of the original flag. Intelligence services working in the region hope to retrain the population to write and speak certain phrases using Happy Fun Picto-Speak to make spying on them easier.

Shortly after the CIA entry was unveiled, Al Jazeera aired an entry rendered in Happy Fun Picto-Speak from an anonymous Iraqi citizens’ group, proposing to fly it as the interim flag until every last member of the foreign occupying forces leaves Iraq. CIA analysts continue to be baffled but any spooks reading this can find the answer in the extension.

Update: An older and wiser person corrected me on the name of the group that sang Blue Moon. Not my era, but doo-wop sounds great to me. (My ears enjoy time travel.)
Read the rest of this entry »

In response to the countless* pleas asking, “Will you promise never to waver from your shrill librul bitching about politics, current events and our rapidly declining culture?” I have to say, Sadly, No!

Sometimes, you just have to take time out to admire the resilience of tradition in the face of societal decay and, well, get a little schmoopy about it.

One Slightly Used Wedding Gown. Only worn twice: Once at the wedding and once for these pictures.

*actually, two

I never mentioned my personal preference for a presidential candidate here because I didn’t want to stack the race unfairly, but also because I had a hell of time hearing everyone’s ideas. It’s not that Democrats didn’t have them. Turns out they had (and still have) a lot of good solutions for cleaning up The First Vacationer’s mess: you could look it up. It’s just that the candidates themselves were so teeming with teensy tiny flaws, each requiring explosive front page coverage (but then ending up being bogus), the news media never got around to covering their actual ideas. And who can blame them?

If it’s disgusting and exhausting to hear about every terra-lovin’ teensy flaw, imagine how disgusting and exhausting it must be to cover! Judith Dean wore sneakers to go shopping! Wesley Clark put on a turtleneck sweater — update! it’s his brother-in-law’s! update! the auditorium was cold! WHADDANASSHOLE! Kerry has a French cousin (probably not far from Tom DeLay’s family tree) and is almost as rich as just about everyone in the Bush administration! What a privileged snob! Kerry’s haircut costs twice as much as Bush’s! (Somehow, I couldn’t get someone from the snooty salon at the Watergate to come to my house for $30. Could Dub be getting a freebie cause it’s his dad’s loyal stylist and $30 bucks is the shitty tip? Nahhh.)

So after wall to wall coverage of the latest “scandal”, I was still annoyed, without quite knowing why, to learn that Kerry released his outstanding military records within 48 hours of promising to do so, a clear flip flop or elitist assholery or something — I still don’t know — but the RNC screeching was so tiresome to hear it’s clear why the media is still mad at Kerry for causing it. CNN dedicated round the clock coverage to this shortcoming, including a roundup a full week later.

[CNN] DANA BASH: And Kelli [Arena], you know, and the Bush campaign aides that I talked to say that the fact John Kerry released these records this week is just one more example of how he simply can’t stay on offense, that he’s back on defense. What did he want to talk about this week? The environment, the fact that the president has, in his view, a terrible environmental record. And instead what are we talking about? His military records. What is your sense of how they think they’re doing inside the Kerry campaign in terms of staying on the offense? (04/24/04 CNN On the Story)

That’s Dana Bash still talking about it and talking about it and asking White House aides why she’s still talking about it and they’re saying, “Because we’re making you.” (Wow, how many creeps did she blow to get inside stuff like that? And she’s so reverent, too.) If Kerry would only show the dependable heroic resolve of George Bush, who again promised to release the full records of his unexplained AWOL drunken/druggie years but hasn’t, just like he’s dependably done for eight solid years now, Dana Bash might respect Kerry’s manliness too.

But Kerry’s latest teensy bogus flaw strikes me as quite serious. Apparently some obscure foreign guy who has nothing to do with presidential politics thinks that Kerry is unfit to touch the Eucharist. His pro-choice stance is clearly more scandalous than Catholic Republicans’ pro-choice stance, as no investigations have been launched by three big media sources on whether a foreigner is nitpicking their sacramental access. I learned about Kerry’s heresy from CNN (the Communion News Network), Nedra Pickler at the AP (the Acclesiastical Press) and the NYT (New York Testament) while trying to find some news in the news.

The AP article, headlined “Kerry’s church known for liberal stance” might as well read, “Pit-bull eats Baby Jesus’s face off”. Liberal?!? Everyone knows Jesus is a fat-cat loving pewter-balled fuck-you Republican!

The congregation includes gay couples, whose adopted children are baptized there, unlike in some other Boston parishes. In November, its leaders refused to read aloud during Mass from a letter opposing gay marriage, as requested by the Massachusetts bishops. … “It’s not St. Around-the-Corner,” Deskur said. “It’s an intentional community that draws people from all over Boston. It tries to make sure that everyone feels welcome and that everyone participates in the liturgy.” …

The Paulist Center began a support group for divorced Catholics that has since been replicated in churches across the country. The center also hosts a group for bisexual, gay and lesbian Catholics, as well as a program for lapsed Catholics who are considering a return to the flock. The center helped launch the Walk for Hunger, a now annual fund-raiser for soup kitchens across the region, and has held funeral Masses for homeless people who die without family or loved ones. (04/25/04 AP/Peter, Pickler)

Unbefuckinglievable. A place of worship that offers comfort to pariahs instead of throwing rocks at them. No wonder this scandal had to be exposed! You don’t read headlines about Bush’s religious scorecard, just guarantees that he’s a religious holy guy. Actually, you don’t read any judgments about Bush’s practices from the AP, certainly not the fact that he doesn’t actually practice much of the time.

But then, as a Bush campaign spokesbot said, Kerry’s views on abortion were “outside the mainstream” and the president “supports a culture of life,” so one understands why Kerry has to be treated like a dangerous weirdo. It’s not like a million women from all over the world would gather in a show of support for reproductive rights or anything. But if Kerry’s assault on the sacrament of communion disappoints Father Ed Gillespie and his boss, the divinely appointed Judger Guy of All Faiths, it’s nothing to how bummed I feel.

I’m a single-issue voter and Eucharist-touching happens to be THE issue. As a recovering Catholic, I believe that rough, brutish handling of the body of Christ is plain wrong. It’s the Body of Christ, for chrissake! I’m leery of any presidential candidate who’d smack it around like a pulp-fiction thug because it would be like literally smacking the Baby Jesus around, calling him names and making him cry. And that’s what the RNC and the faith-based news is reporting. They must be accurate, because it’s a serious charge that people of faith don’t make lightly and news sources of integrity would never repeat if they were false.

So I’m only glad I found out in time. Who’s John Kerry to act like a drunken coke-snorting AWOL national guardsman of the filth-based seventies around the Baby Jesus anyhow? What kind of depraved elitist shithead does stuff like bully Lil’God?

[CNN’s] KELLI ARENA: Kel, really, really quick — the news from the Vatican about if you’re a pro — pro-choice candidate, maybe you can’t receive communion. We know that Kerry is a catholic. How will this play out?

KELLY WALLACE: Well, a high-ranking cardinal in the Vatican speaking out. He was asked a question, saying a Catholic politician who supports abortion rights, should he be denied — he or she be communion? And this cardinal yes, that person is not fit. But got very, sort of a little more vague when asked specifically about John Kerry.This is an issue now before U.S. bishops who are not expected to sort of issue any decision until after the presidential election. John Kerry, though, just yesterday, and before the big march tomorrow, saying he supports a woman’s right to choose. Catholics, Kelli, as you know, make up about one quarter of the U.S. population. So it will be interesting to watch how this issue plays out in the presidential campaign.

KELLI ARENA: All right. Well, we’re going to switch gears. One question that we’ve heard a lot of this week: is there an increased risk of a terrorism attack during this election campaign? I’m back ON THE STORY right after this. (04/24/04 CNN On the Story)

I had sought Kerry’s solace after the RNC exposed Howard Dean’s deeply rooted evil — he changed congregations and went to the church further down — and the creeping Rasputin-like madness that compelled the utter whackjob to raise his voice to be heard over an enthusiastic crowd.

I’m grateful for the second rescue. Clearly it’s time to support Bush, who has solved all murky flip-floppy issues of worshipping according to conscience by cutting out the middleman. He is the guy. He is the one. God said so. End of story. Shaddap.

“There is a higher father that I appeal to. – GWB (Plan of Attack)

“I get to declare war. Not you or anyone else.” – GWB (Bush at War)

Presidents don’t have to answer questions if terrorists crash their planes into the Constitution and we have total anarchy, which you can see by looking around you. I’m sold.

Kerry, meanwhile, has these crackpot elitist ideas that he’ll be representing voters, if you can believe it, so it’s “yap yap yap”, explain explain explain, policy policy policy. Then I have to weigh his answers and decide if he’s the kind of guy who can do some good — eccch, I’m thinking too much already.

With the new faith-based news services telling me straight out who the RNC says is good or evil, I can just tune out the yappeta and go back to everyday stuff like worrying about losing my job, my healthcare, my lunch and my sanity. Plus, no one calls me elitist.

Update: fixed a broken link, corrected a quote attribution

Title quote from Camryn Manheim, one of the speakers firing up the March for Women’s Lives. “George Bush, meet the third rail of American politics,” she told the largest march in history, well over a million.

Manheim also addressed Republican women and men present and told them to take their party back to sanity. Hard to tell from the audio, but it sounded like the pro-choice GOP was there in abundance and enthusiastic about the prospect. The BushCo intimidation of media and politicians on the Hill can’t reach Republican voters who aren’t automatically going to go along with an extremist agenda. (And what would they gain being vocal about it in this climate?) And for all that’s been written about NASCAR dads, they’re not really a sizeable demographic compared to professional women (of all political stripes) in an age-group that remembers life before Roe v. Wade.

I heard a very interesting interview with a spokesman for the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Rights. 78% of Americans believe one can be religious and pro-choice, the RCRR spokesman told Pacifica Radio. They regarded legislation such as Bush’s ?Unborn Victims of Violence Act? an attack not just on reproductive rights and women’s and children’s health, but a radical attack on freedom of religion and conscience. (From the RCRR website): In a nation that is admired for religious tolerance, imposing religious views is the wrong thing to do. … An RCRC clergy counselor testified at a U.S. Senate hearing that many women benefit from compassionate, nonjudgmental ?all options clergy counseling? and that stigmatizing women who have abortions is psychologically harmful.

I’ve been alarmed and disgusted at how the Bush administration has chipped away at women’s rights, steamrolling appalling legislation through, from the gag rule to elevating fetal rights over women’s rights. A pregnant woman can now be charged with a crime for objecting to treatment that elevates fetal safety over hers. The “Unborn Victims of Violence Act” also criminalizes pregnant women who may not have access to pre-natal care, or who becomes pregnant during an addiction to drugs or alcohol at a time when treatment programs are shutting down — blowback from Bush’s tax cuts.

This is a radical reframing of the debate, folks.

It’s not just about the choice to have or not have an abortion and does life begin at conception. Reproductive rights brings real issues of health and life back into the debate: availability of birth control, compassionate counseling that addresses the woman’s religious beliefs and doesn’t overrepresent one extremist point of view (ie, abstinence or marriage, end of discussion.)

Reproductive rights means pre- and post-natal care expanded to include access to substantial child care. It speaks to young people who don’t want to be martyred to STDs because of someone else’s beliefs. It also speaks to gay couples and issues of guardianship and adoption. Zealots whose fetal compassion evaporates once they achieve their objective of stopping an abortion can’t get away with cynically representing themselves as “pro-life” while also targeting programs for the health of impoverished women and children.

I don’t think Bush has a war chest big enough to fight off this flank.

Update: There was also a very organized networking and registration drive at the march. This wasn’t just a collection of million-plus warm bodies, but people who travelled many many miles to be there. We’re looking at a million-plus mobilized activists.

If your feet can’t join the hundreds of thousands of people from around the country and around the world who are Marching for Women’s Lives in Washington, DC today (04/25/04), you can still take part by letting your voice, your support, and your message be heard that you won’t let a minority of zealots take away our reproductive rights.

It’s a health issue, a civil rights issue, and an issue of privacy. It’s a matter of keeping church and state separate. My feet can’t be in Washington today, but my fingers will be on the march, posting new material throughout the day, and my ears will be tuning in periodically for updates:

Live coverage from Pacifica KPFK
Hear the 1:00pm rally live from Cspan
IndyMedia has audio coverage and online updates here at DC IndyMedia

In the meantime, get acquainted with who’s on the front lines of this fight for freedom, how our rights are being eroded and by whom, and what you can do to stop them. Tune back in throughout the day for news, views, resources and snark but in the meantime, find out more here:

ACLU March for Women’s Lives
ACLU: Tell ten friends
ChoiceUSA, Young People’s All-Access Contingent
The Planned Parenthood March Page
Meet the Feminist Majority
Join 34 Million Friends
Who needs these guys making over our lives? (Flash animation.)

Update: added some audio links

The Kerry campaign’s announcement of funk legend George Clinton as JFK’s running mate sent wingnuts into a frenzy of confusion on the weekend, most unfamiliar with the unique experience of having rhetoric remotely based on fact. Rightwing pundits and pols who have continually insisted that Hillary Clinton intended to run as VP in ’04 or as a presidential candidate in ’08, despite her numerous weary denials, are shifting gears to use the George Clinton announcement to claim complete vindication.

“If we were 1/1000th right about this, imagine what else we might be one thousand percent right about,” said an unnamed White House head of state, pausing to glare down some spontaneous snickering from assembled media. While many conservative information sources got busy replacing the word “Hillary” with “George” in their online archives to claim retroactive vindication, others worked around the clock tweaking gender-specific pronouns in existing innuendo about Clinton’s predilection for black female sexual partners.

Radio host Rush Limbaugh scheduled an emergency broadcast to denounce Clinton’s recent drug arrest and demand immediate imprisonment, calling the lengthy period before a trial namby pamby pandering to the unwholesome liberal influence rotting away the foundation of a moral Christian society. “If this is the kind of drug-crazed lunatic the Scumocrats are going to run against our Great Leader, the American people will Just Say No!,” he thundered.

Limbaugh has claimed that his own drug arrest was persecution for having a winning personality and haunting masculine beauty, and that the many alcohol and drug-related incidents in the President’s past were not only medically necessary, but heroic as well. Once Bush’s numerous DUIs could no longer stay under wraps, his PR experts have refined the explanation that the incidents resulted from driving to a Stuckey’s out of concern that the rest of his party, passed out after massively vomiting earlier, might wake up hungry. Limbaugh compared the arrests to getting wounded in action while rescuing a Band of Brothers from enemy fire and being awarded a Purple Heart, only deservedly. “Unlike some people,” Limbaugh added with the deft subtlety that has made conservative hypocrisy so enjoyable tolerable over the years.

While campaign watchers speculated about how the Clinton announcement affected a potential Kerry cabinet, the RNC focused on issues most important to their constituents. French-descended Tom DeLay, head of the RNC’s substantial Frenchy Hatin’ Hair Oppo squad, was yanked off obsessing over Kerry’s haircut and roots and put to work find damaging material on Clinton’s hairstyle.

DeLay’s team came back with evidence that African hair is a different texture from Caucasian or Asian hair because of a flatter cuticle, which might make it more susceptible to dryness and breakage when exposed to chemical relaxers and hot irons or pulled into tightly woven cornrows and extensions. DeLay quickly coordinated with Karl Rove to associate any Afrocentric grooming with weakness of character and a danger to national security. Look for DeLay to work sly references about split ends and French braiding into the week’s talking points but, as usual, offer no substantial comments or recommendations on policy.

Willie Horton footage from past campaigns may be spliced into future Bush/Cheney ads. There’s no word yet on whether the recycling will affect any slogans, currently variations on the themes that Bush believes the children are the future, because evil hates freedom in the future, which the children are, in a big friendly land that’s hard to defend from the freedom of evil in, and perhaps on, the future. Also, democracy, bigtime and make no mistake. Steadily, about the evil of freedom in a time of change, no matter what.

Despite the Kerry campaign’s announcement of the purveyor of bigass funk classics like Atomic Dog and Aquabooty for veep, some in the RNC’s Psychic Friends Network continue alternately to insist that Hillary Clinton is running, and beg for her to do so. Experts fear their psychic faculties got a little fried from months of reporting moment by moment changes in Saddam Hussein’s thoughts and feelings, though strangely never able to give his physical location. The network continues to maintain close telepathic connections to Saddam’s WMDs, though unable to pinpoint those, either.

These Bush Waffles and Flip Flops relate only to some of the past week’s biggest headlines. The stack from the fraction of time the “war president” has not been on vacation or fundraising would carbo-load one post to danger levels, so let’s see how this introductory stack works out.

First, Bush Lies: Candidate Bush promised he wouldn’t erode women’s reproductive rights, allowing him to campaign disguised as a “moderate” (which was why the election was close enough for to steal.)

Then, Bush Flip Flops: pResident Bush passes legislation banning partial-birth abortion.

First, Bush Lies:: Candidate Bush promised he wouldn’t erode women’s reproductive rights, allowing him to campaign disguised as a “moderate”.

Then, Bush Flip Flops: pResident Bush passes legislation regarding fetuses harmed during the commission of a crime, with vague wording intentionally designed to open the door to challenge a woman’s right to choose.

First, Bush Lies: Candidate Bush promised he wouldn’t erode women’s reproductive rights, allowing him to campaign disguised as a “moderate”.

Then, Bush Flip Flops: Bush cuts funding to family clinics abroad that provide abortion information to patients requesting it, obliterating health care entirely in some regions. Ignoring the advice of his own expert panel, he withdrew long-standing support for the world’s primary multilateral provider of voluntary family planning services including contraceptives, pre- and post- natal care and HIV/AIDS prevention services around the world. As many of these clinics are the only regional medical services available, his extremism has sentenced tens of thousands to sickness and death.

First, Bush Lies: Bush promised that the Clean Air Act would live up to its name.

Then, Bush Flip Flops: An Earth-Day letter from the National Council of Churches reveals that planned changes to power plant regulations will allow major polluters to avoid installing pollution-control equipment when they expand their facilities.

First, Bush Lies: “I have no ambition whatsoever to use [9/11] as a political issue.” (GWB, Jan/2002)

Then, Bush Flip Flops: His first ad lauded his leadership after Sept. 11 and included a brief image of firefighters carrying a flag-draped coffin from the World Trade Center site. White House aides … called the ad including the Sept. 11 images crucial to the story of Bush’s presidency.

The Bush administration recalibrates its standard of delicacy: “Quite frankly, we don’t want the remains of our service members who have made the ultimate sacrifice to be the subject of any kind of attention that is unwarranted or undignified,” said John Molino, a deputy undersecretary of defense.” (Presumably, he includes using them in for Bush campaign propaganda as an example of unwarranted or undignified attention.)

Then, Bush Flip Flops: The Loafer in Chief takes a couple of hours from his week-long vacation of hunting and fishing with big donors to exploit an injured soldier for a purple heart photo-op, even while his campaign deploys a longtime Republican operative to smear Kerry’s military service and one of three purple hearts (among other medals for valor).

Although mainstream media sources don’t bother to mention John O’Neill’s history as a longtime Republican operative, he is a law partner of then-Texas-Governor Bush’s counsel Margaret Wilson, and with ties to current White House counsel Alberto Gonzales and Enron. RNC head Ed Gillespie, prominently on display last week having seizures about Kerry’s military records, had to have known all of this as he was an Enron lobbyist, so his own statements about O’Neill coming forward on his own are complete lies. Kerry has often been asked (unfairly) to explain and the actions of parties outside his own campaign’s. President Bush should at the very least personally explain his campaign’s actions to the American people and the media. To approach the standard the RNC and the media have applied to Kerry, Bush should also explain the actions and statements of parties supporting him but outside his campaign, such as statements by right wing weblogs and conservative action groups.

O’Neill’s history and ties to parties covering up huge gaps and inconsistencies in Bush’s own military service record certainly warrant further investigation.

First, Bush Lies: He tells Tim Russert on Meet the Press that his complete military records are available, which is false, and then promises to release his entire military records. (Huh? If the records are out there, what is he promising to release?)

Then, Bush Flip Flops: His military records still have not been released in their entirety. Notably missing are records crucial to explaining his as-yet unexplained Absence Without Leave, reasons (medical or psychiatric) for failing to maintain his flight status, reasons for a lack of formal, mandatory investigation of this, and an explanation for alterations to the official record. Responses from the Bush administration and campaign have only misdirected enquiries. Statements from, eg, Laura Bush, who wasn’t present during the AWOL period, saying that her husband wouldn’t lie don’t cut it in the face of “President Nice Guy’s” attacks on Kerry’s fully substantiated and legitimately heroic military service.

KOS has researched what the lazy mainstream media couldn’t be bothered to before broadcasting the Bush campaign’s smears of Kerry, posted the distinctions and also provided more sourced details on the Bush campaign’s dirty trickster smearing Kerry’s outstanding service.

The Columbia Journalism Review’s look at the media pile-on to smear Kerry reveals a disturbing double standard: if the 48 hours between Kerry’s promise to release his records and actual release of records constitutes a flip flop, what does over four years of dissembling from George W. Bush over explaining and releasing his records constitute?

Some media enquires (Seattle Post-Intelligencer, for one) have been directed to the Pentagon — particularly enquiries relating to Lt. Bush’s fitness to serve, details of his “padded” discharge and mysterious grounding from flight — and turned away. Any media sources that have broadcasted the Bush campaigns attempts to smear Kerry should apply equal time and energy to finding out why taxpayer resources are now being used to obscure still-unanswered questions about the “wartime President’s” own service.

First, Bush Lies: In an attempt to gain support for his illegal invasion of Iraq, he falsely promised the world that the removal of Saddam Hussein would stabilize the region and make Israel safe.

Then, Bush Flip Flops: Now he’s chasing after faith-based WMDs in Iran, shaking his saber and claiming “they will be dealt with, starting through the United Nations” though the public record reveals Bush’s promise to use the UN to “disarm” Saddam Hussein of non-existent WMDs covered up well-advanced plans to invade Iraq regardless. (If this sounds frighteningly familiar, lock up your military-aged sons and daughters, because the swaggering, flag-draped war profiteers sure as hell aren’t sending their own.) If Bush was sincere about a WMD-free region, he wouldn’t have turfed a UN Security Council resolution (introduced by Syria and endorsed by the Arab league) to make the entire region verifiably WMD-free. Bush didn’t like the resolution because it meant Israel would have to get rid of its substantial stockpile of WMDs too.

First, Bush Lies: Preening during his Roadmap to Peace photo-op, the pRez claimed he supported the removal of Jewish settlements from Gaza and the West Bank.

Then, Bush Flip Flops: Bush endorsed Sharon’s intention to keep some settlements (and military) in the West Bank, depriving Palestinians of any real possibility to negotiate a contiguous, independent state.

First, Bush Lies: Bush promised Iraqis and the world that he would “debaathify” the government of all remnants of Saddam’s rulership, so that senior party officials would not return the country to a state of dictatorship.

Then, Bush Flip Flops: The Coalition Provisional Authority is now rehiring the same Baath Party thugs that Bush alleged (after his faith-based WMDs failed to turn up) he had invaded Iraq to remove.

(The shifting “justifications” for invading Iraq comprise several dozen Bush Flip Flops.)

First, Bush Lies: He said he wouldn’t “cut and run” from Iraq before establishing security and an interim government body that was representative and stable.

Then, Bush Flip Flops: Bush keeps saying the June 30th date for turnover is solid but he can’t name “the entity” Iraq is being turned over to. Military and political experts on the region and Iraqis themselves believe that Bush’s turnover date is cosmetic and relates more to his campaign concerns that actually delivering on his promises.

Update: Foolishly, I edited this online and on the fly, so apologies for any disruptions or bad links any visitors may have encountered in the meantime.

Can we not have one Earth Day without some ugly, gardening-related incident wrecking total oneness with all living things? This is worse than the Escarola Riots of Aught-Three, when raccoons decimated my early crop of frilly endive.

The wife of Sen. Max Baucus (D-Mont) was just accused:

[…] of hitting a woman in a dispute over mulch at a garden center, police said. … Baucus apparently was upset she did not get help loading the mulch into her car while the other woman was being assisted, a police spokesman said. Witnesses told police that Baucus put a bag of mulch behind the woman’s car, preventing her from leaving the store, and that after the exchanging words, allegedly struck the woman several times, police said. … The lawmaker acknowledged in a statement that there was a “situation” involving his wife. “We are trying to sort it out, going through the proper channels,” he said. “I stand by her 110 percent.” (04/21/04 USAT)

What will we tell the seedlings?

Terra

This we know:
The earth does not belong to man
Man belongs to the earth.
This we know:
All things are connected like
The blood which unites one family.
All things are connected.
Whatever befalls the earth
Befalls the sons of the earth.
Man did not weave the web of life;
He is merely a strand in it.
Whatever he does to the web,
He does to himself.
(Chief Seattle)

It’s Earth Day, so be nice to Big Mama. She sustains us all, so let’s give back a little respect. Never has she needed your attention and care as much as now. Do some triage on your daily routine and see how you can reduce the toxicity that’s killing her. Applying a little imagination and diligence can makes a big difference; give what you can, however you can. Some suggestions:

Do your bit to get rid of that toxic Shit Midas befouling the Oval Office with his careening War on Terra. Everything he touches turns to crap. Not only has he gutted hard-won progressive measures for a cleaner, saner planet, he’s been the single most influential lobbyist for pestilence, war, famine, and death — the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. For someone who talks like the messianic head of a dead-enders’ cult, he’s awfully concerned with making money for his cronies at the expense of ecology and human rights. I DON’T THINK HE INTENDS TO LEAVE. Let’s make him. Send some time, skills or money the way of candidates or groups that will throw the bum out. Not a joiner? Low on green? At the very minimum, register to vote and exercise your franchise at election time. Encourage your friends and loved ones to do the same. He thinks he’s otherworldly and so do I: from Mars. Let’s send him.

If you’re not a Lean, Green Recycling Machine that carries canvas and net shopping bags as a rule, at least figure out ways to reduce your usage of paper and plastic. Buy your fruits and veggies loose and either put them in reusable net bags or reuse the plastic ones a few times (turn them inside out). If you’re only buying a few of an item, don’t bother with a bag at all. (What, that cantaloupe needs to be in a bag for a car ride?) Buy a couple of zip-foldable carryalls and put one in your car, briefcase, backpack, bike bag etc. so you always have one handy. Or buy reusable grocery bins for your trunk. (I’ve seen a lot more in use in Europe and South America.)

Get a healthier cultural diet.. Are you a voracious reader? See if you can do it paperlessly. Find out which of your favorite publications offer an electronic alternative for your handheld or desktop. Most new books are available in downloadable format for a variety of electronic readers, or in audio format. It’s hard to avoid being a consumer of contemporary culture. You don’t have to be a cultural hermit, but a little moderation’s good for the soul. Just do your bit to resist the massive production of plastic crapola that seems to accompany every new movie, concert series or TV show. It uses up earthly resources and pollutes every spare pore of space with advertising. You don’t need that plastic The Whole Ten Yards keychain. Don’t accept it just cause it’s free, cause it’s not. It costs a little chunk of your own uniqueness and independence, which is far more important to the health of the planet than promoting some transitory cultural non-event. And for Gaia’s sake, don’t buy the junk.

Want to use a non-polluting, cheap, abundant fuel in your life? Get off your duff and take a walk. Prolong your life by taking an after dinner constitutional with your sweetie, your kids, your pet or all of the above. If you live in a neighborhood that’s unsafe due to bad air quality or bad neighbor quality, devolve some of your chores to manual at least part of the time and translate some of your body’s vast oil reserves into elbow grease. Don’t run the dishwasher as often or wash small quantities by hand. Maybe do it in concert (literally) with a cultural option from the previous paragraph. Or, untether yourself entirely from the opiate teat and just let your mind wander. You won’t lose it, trust me, and it gives the hamster in the wheel a little break.

Exercise patience. We’ve become so accustomed to instant availability of anything we want, when we want it that momentary deprivation now represents a personal or societal catastrophy. Most of us now have more flexibility in how we run our lives but it’s also alarming to see excessive control of one’s immediate environment becoming a particularly toxic status symbol. Why do people drive around in mobile multiplex theaters? If you air-condition your home to meat-locker temperatures in the summer and blast furnace temps in the winter cause control gives you comfort, dial back to simple liveability and learn to adjust. Better yet, unless a physical ailment mandates it, recalibrate your comfort level to be more in tune with the real seasons. Go low tech unless you’re actually uncomfortable. Slightly chilly? Wear a sweater or amp up your physical activity. Hot? Have a cold beverage, slow down and use a hand fan.

Support your local small businesses, farmers, experts and services whenever possible. Don’t always make convenience or saving a few pennies the default. Most areas have some kind of growers’ co-op or local farmers’ market offering stuff that really tastes better than produce picked raw on another continent and ripened in a corrugated container. If you’re dining out, ask if any of the specials come from your immediate area. Buying locally implicitly cuts down resources used for transportation, and you’re contributing to the economic health and character of your village, town or neighborhood. And stay the hell out of WalMart. They treat their employees like dirt because customer attraction to saving what amounts to NOT VERY MUCH gives them carte blanche to treat people like indentured servants. Who wants to live like ants surrounding a concrete colossus?

For your own health and sanity, learn to cook at least rudimentary stuff that doesn’t involve a box, a powder flavor packet or a microwave. The more participation you have in creating what’s sustaining you, the healthier it is for body and soul. Boil an egg. Squeeze some juice. Steam some veggies. The more processed a meal is, the more resource-redundant its production and the more likely it contains a bunch of crap more relevant to its shelf life than yours. Eat something you’ve grown yourself, even if it’s some fresh herbs from a window box or veggies grown on your deck or yard, and teach your kids to to foster a plant or two. It plants within us a deep reminder to stay engaged with the rhythms of the planet. The enlivening power of connection has yet to be fully measured by science, but the effect that it can have on our well being is profound. Plus, we can all use the extra oxygen.

The Bush years got you stressed, depressed and freaking out? Positive engagement helps you, your community and the world at large. Disengagement empowers him, so start taking your country back by keeping alive your sense of what democracy really means. He’s not the boss. He’s supposed to be working for and representing us. Do what you can to restore the immune system of our democracy. Demand a free press and transparency and accountability from your representatives. We keep hearing that the Chimperor is the only thing protecting democracy and freedom, but his actions promote the idiotic mentality is that there’s only so much democracy to go around and therefore he must dispense it like a corrupt duke handing out fiefdoms. Don’t buy the lie that equality and dignity for a fellow human means that you lose out in some way. Keeping us scared and stupid means we all lose. It makes life easier for people who prefer to rule when their duty is to serve.

Make the extra effort to be kind to yourself, your loved ones, your space, your community. By this I don’t mean indulgence, but an act that in some way sustains the health and dignity of all of the above. If you believe, as I do, that fanaticism is killing this planet, fight it with small acts of sanity and kindness in your daily choices. We share more than a planet, we’re part of a greater whole we only understand in fragments. Let’s not destroy the earth under our feet stampeding into an idea of Heaven that increasingly resembles an exclusive nightclub.

Check out any Earth Day events in your region and participate. Got any tips to share? Please do — symbiosis is the essence of planetary health.

Update: Just wanted to add that your tips don’t have to be material in nature. Posting about any activities that enjoyably connect you to Terra are just as ecological.

Update: One of Earth’s natural wonders speaks out.

The following dialogue has been simplified as much as possible in the hope that Republicans can see what they’re enabling by continuing to put Bush before party, party before constituents, and their own pathetic hypocritical treasonous asses before all else.

Until the above performers finish workshopping their new production on the Constitution, please revel in the Chimperor’s latest miserable failures. It’s time to stop pretending that libruls are “making” this news awful by not regarding it as super-fabulous.

Saudi Arabia has denied accusations in Bob Woodward’s latest book that it had reached an agreement with the White House to increase oil production closer to the Nov. 2 election, thus driving down gasoline prices. … [OPEC] of which Saudi Arabia is a leading member, had announced at the end of March that it would cut its crude oil production target by 4 percent. That decision was expected to push prices higher – and U.S. motorists already have been paying the highest prices in recent years for gasoline. (04/20/04 AP)

A Democratic congressman [David Obey, D-Wis, House Appropriations Committee] on Monday demanded to know whether the Bush administration transferred $700 million to Iraq war planning efforts out of counterterrorism funds without informing Capitol Hill. The Pentagon said it didn’t happen. A senior Defense Department budget official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said the Pentagon used a smaller amount of post-Sept. 11 counterterrorism money on projects that would aid the war on Iraq … [The Bob Woodward book] says President Bush “approved 30 projects that would eventually cost $700 million” by the end of July 2002 in preparation for the war, and that some of that money came from appropriations for the war on terrorism. (04/19/04 AP/Lumpkin)

At hearings Tuesday and Wednesday, the Senate and House armed services committees are to hear about current Iraq operations from Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz, Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Gen. Richard Myers and State Department Undersecretary Marc Grossman. As of Monday, the Pentagon had not agreed to attend another hearing Thursday on how it intends to transfer political power June 30 to an as-yet unnamed Iraqi government. … [Lawmakers] faced constituents’ questions about Iraq. … Already, almost six in 10 of those surveyed say [Bush] does not have a clear plan for success in Iraq. (04/20/04 AP/Jelinek)

President Bush gave a chilly welcome to Spain’s new leader Monday, suggesting his abrupt withdrawal of troops from Iraq would give “false comfort to terrorists.” Bush said later he was sending diplomatic troubleshooter* John Negroponte to Iraq as America’s first post-war ambassador. … Zapatero has rejected claims that withdrawing troops would appear to be appeasing terrorists, saying his idea of removing them came long before the March 11 commuter-train bombings that killed 191 people in Madrid three days in advance of his election.** (04/20/04 AP/Hunt)

*death squad enabler, war criminal
**Note to Bush: other leaders get to have resolve.

The king of Jordan … postponed a White House meeting with President Bush this week … Bush’s statement after a White House meeting with Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon last week constituted a historic shift in U.S. policy, and Palestinian leaders accused the administration of undercutting the possibility of a negotiated settlement. Jordan is considered a key moderate ally of the United States and is one of only two of Israel’s Arab neighbors to have a peace treaty with the Jewish state. … The rift between the Bush administration and its moderate Arab allies over Bush’s statement on Israeli settlements is one of the worst to emerge in years – and has exacerbated the already tense relations between the United States and Arab countries over the war in Iraq. (04/20/04 AP/Halaby)

And no, party locksteppers are not supporting the troops by allowing the Miserable Failure to miserably fail in a bigger, more appalling downward spiral.

I am the wife of a soldier who was just officially extended yesterday. He has been in Iraq for nearly one year. He has proudly served his tour, and we were planning for his arrival home next week. Here’s a true story. A group of soldiers from his unit went to BIAP to wait for their return flight to Germany, where we are based. They were turned away and told that they were being kept in Iraq indefinitely. On the way back to their base in Baghdad proper, they were ambushed. The unit had their first casualty that night. My husband should have been with them, as he is one of their medics, but he was supposed to drive the ambulance to Kuwait the next day, so they told him to stay back and get some rest. I am sickened by this whole betrayal of trust and abuse of our volunteers. If Bush and Co. get reelected, start moving your military age men to Canada, because the draft will be reinstated. Nobody deserves this kind of a back stabbing. Least of all the men and women who have signed up to protect our country. This extension was a death sentence for that poor soldier. This extension cost three children their father. And it will cost much more. (From Catch.com)