Sadly, No!

Note to self: Don’t send home address to A. Hamilton:

Now we have criticism of a young Marine for killing an enemy who was playing dead. In my opinion, this Marine hero should have bumper stickers made in his honor. If I had been in his place, I not only would have shot that faker, I would have shot the rest of his dead buddies, twice each, in their skulls, just to make up for the three thousand murdered on 9/11.

The anger being out of control, it’s not too surprising his grasp of the facts is a bit shaky:

We knew there were terrorists in Iraq so we invaded and killed most of the Iraqi army.

Well, at least the US did a good thing:

But, instead of just starting at one end of that country and kicking butt to the other end, we decided to stop along the way and build a democratic nation. Imagine that. They didn’t even ask for it. After all, these two countries have been under cruel rule for thousands of years and haven’t nudged one inch towards democratizing themselves in all that time.

You lazy bastards! What possible reason could you have for not having a democracy yet?!?

We just got back and the love is in!

this [Atrios] is the lefty blog that linked to that ass who called me fucktard dumb

Ladies and gentlemen, l’ass c’est moi!

(The post that started it all.)

From a recent post (a new favorite🙂

The husband finished Atlas Shrugged the other day; I still have a couple hundred pages left. But what I’m noticing as I’m reading is a sad parallel between what’s happening in the book and what I’ve been reading on blogs lately.

From the endorsements of The Daily Show’s America: The Book:

This is similar to my works in that anyone who reads it is sure to be an asshole for at least a month afterward.

Sadly, Yes! (Or scroll down and read the comments to the previous post.)

Annie “Scary Skies” Jacobsen:

If you’ve been following this series of articles, you might recall that in my last article, I wrote about the Captain of United flight 925 who discovered — once he was half-way across the Atlantic — that two passengers he was carrying were on the “no-fly” list. Many of you have written to WomensWallStreet.com wondering how, in the age of information, this could be possible? What exactly is the “no-fly” list anyway, some readers are asking? Who decides what names go on the list? Who checks the list to ensure potential terrorists are not boarding our planes? And most importantly, is the “no-fly” list working?

The “no-fly” list is one of our primary defenses against terrorist acts on airplanes. In the most basic terms, the “no-fly” list is simply a list of names — nothing more. The “no-fly” list … [Emphasis added.]

Meanwhile, at Grayson Moorhead Securities:

We will make a list of our clients and how much money each of them has given us to invest. We will keep this list in a safe place. If we have time we will make a copy of the list in case something happens to the first list. […] Don’t leave the client’s money lying around. Keep it in a safe place. For example: where we keep the list.

Bonus little known facts: In her free time, Annie Jacobsen writes the world famous World O’Crap blog, and is married to Pete M. of The Dark Window.

Or something like that:

CAMP BUEHRING, Kuwait (AP) – Disgruntled U.S. soldiers complained to Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld on Wednesday about the lack of armor for their vehicles and long deployments, drawing a blunt retort from the Pentagon chief. […]

“Why do we soldiers have to dig through local landfills for pieces of scrap metal and compromised ballistic glass to uparmor our vehicles?” Wilson asked. A big cheer arose from the approximately 2,300 soldiers in the cavernous hangar who assembled to see and hear the secretary of defense.

Rumsfeld hesitated and asked Wilson to repeat his question. […]

Rumsfeld replied that troops should make the best of the conditions they face and said the Army was pushing manufacturers of vehicle armor to produce it as fast as humanly possible.

This is the part of the post where we are reminded of this Get Your War On cartoon.

In the right corner, we have:

WASHINGTON – The government said Tuesday that flu vaccine manufactured in Germany was safe enough to be used in the United States and that as many as 4 million doses would be available to alleviate the U.S. shortage. […] The German-made vaccine, Fluarix, has not been licensed for use in the United States, so it will be available as an investigational new drug, meaning that it can be used but patients will have to sign a consent form acknowledging there could be risks. [Emphasis added.]

Could be risks. Well, at least they’ll be able to fix them:

Surgeons are perfecting a way to build up the size of very small penises, enabling proper urination, and a full sex life. It is estimated that about one in 200 men is born with what is known as a micro-penis. […]

In the past doctors have recommended gender reassignment, so the child was brought up as a girl, but this is a practice which has ceased in recent years. [Emphasis added.]

One mystery solved.

And there are as many reasons for that as there are comments to our last (granted sporadic) posts. Oh, it all started in good fun no doubt. Yosef, you may remember him as the formerly hottest new conservative writer on the web, suggested that he was being more entertained by Talking Points Memo than he’d ever been by, well, us. What had until then been a single act of civil disobedience quickly degenerated into a no-holds-barred flame fest. Directed at us. The horror. Some tried to hang in there (Allah bless their souls.) UncleHornHead reported that in spite of our absence he had that same “burny feeling.” four legs good (wisely) turned to chocolate and wine. Clif begged for help in dealing with ClownHall. Rumor even has it that Miss Authoritiva went down to city hall (hers or ours?) to complain.

Looking back, it was fitting and inevitable really. A bunch of social misfits, who come here every day to mock the less talented, having been abandoned, they had little choice but seek release in any way they could manage. Frankly, we’d hope you’d turn on each other — allowing us to return to a whole new bunch of readers upon our return. Sadly, No! Yet we must face the truth. As Homer once remarked: “”Alright brain, you don’t like me and I don’t like you.” Dear readers: You don’t like us and we don’t like you. But let’s just get through this and then we can get back to killing you with asinine remarks, horrible puns, and mentions of (careful now!) Lucianne Goldberg’s vagina (aka Jonah.)

Truth is, moving to a new town (and starting a new job) is hard work. It’s hard. Sometimes, you have to work late. Sometimes even on the weekend. It’s hard work. H-A-R-D. Let us give you just one (true!) example of how confusing moving to a new town is: in Stuttgart, one of the most popular radio station is Hit Radio Antenne 1. In Hamburg, it’s called Hit Radio Antenne! There’s no 1 anymore!

If only for your sake (and really if not for yours for whose really?) we knew we had to come back. heydave probably summed it up better than any of us, even all of us, ever could:

I hazard a guess that neither of us will enjoy it, but go ahead anyway…

And that, dear friends, is why we snark.

If we were any closer to being able to snark it up for you, we would already be there. Honest. Serious. No kidding this time.

Sure, the last week was busy and so on. First we moved to Hamburg for a new job. (Apparently, we’re a PR Manager now, fancy that.) Then, our router died. After that, our computer crashed. And on Friday our wife came up to pay us a visit. While the last event wasn’t a disaster on the order of the previous two, it did keep away from the duties of Sadly, No! As of tomorrow morning however, no more! We shall be rested, bitter, angry… and ready to unleash a wave of shrillness the likes of which has never been seen before.

So what’s it like being abandoned by the management of this sorry outfit they call Sadly, No!?

Discuss.

If one didn’t know any better, one might think we’ve abandoned you. Sadly, No!

While the management was busy last week moving its furniture to Hamburg (new job and all,) it spent last weekend moving itself, and hence the editorial offices of S,N!, to that city of the same name. Now that we have settled into our new home, expect more of the usual crap starting… soon.