Sadly, No!

Where we resist the urge to do anything ourselves and instead just tell you what other people are doing.

Yamantaka at xpat.org offers a review of The Politically-Incorrect Guide to American History:

PC propagandists may have re-written American history, but this book is completely different. It’s written by a non-PC propagandist!

Norbizness looks at higher education:

I might have mentioned this previously… I knew a guy in a work environment back in the day who insisted that the Earth was no more than 10,000 years old, and that dinosaur fossils were placed their to test our faith. Evidently, four years of university had not dulled his desire to say whatever crazy shit popped into his head. Patient explanations… yelling at him… showing him “scientific” articles… it all went into his personal, perpetual victimization machine.

Crooks and Liars looks at another variation of “They fooled me, Jerry!” *

The government “painted this wonderful picture of private accounts,” Pardo said. “They fooled me. They fooled us all.” ..

Finally, uggabugga wants his Obesity TV:

If you pay for cable TV, then presumably you are informed about child obesity. If you don’t pay for cable TV, then Bush says you should – no matter how dire your financial situation is.

This post is so controversial we had to hide the entire thing in the extended entry!
Read the rest of this entry »

Apparently, abusing our good name knows no end! The culprit this time? The Onion:

Boogeyman
Director: Stephen T. Kay (PG-13, 86 min.)
Cast: Barry Watson, Emily Deschanel, Skye McCole Bartusiak

With a name like that it’s got to be good, right? Sadly, no.

Thanks to Doug G. for the link. (Added link.)

Then we can be super duper bestest buddies:

WASHINGTON – President Bush is asking Congress to set up a $400 million fund to reward nations that have taken political and economic risks to join U.S.-led coalitions in Iraq and Afghanistan. […]

“Poland has been a fantastic ally because the president and the people of Poland love freedom,” Bush said during his Oval Office meeting with Kwasniewski, a staunch ally in the Iraq war. [Emphasis added, payoff in the original.]

(8) That’s what friends are for… (8)

Fixed link — thanks to Mithras.

Kaye Grogan is back — and she’s horny. Brad Reed has all the AbsorbShuned details:

It’s one thing to go and buy the filth, and another all together, to have it shoved “unwillingly” down your throat.

“Unwillingly”

Well honey (Whatcha got Mr. Mans)
I got a lot of money (I don’t see no keys in my hands)
Could you be my nasty girl
And let me do that dirty dance witchu (If you want just give me money)

Great examples in counterproductive use of anecdotes and experts:

Thomas Friedman:

…said the Oxford historian Timothy Garton Ash

Sorry Tom — take that poop out of here.

Los Angeles Times:

Bush’s speech “does what one would expect it to do: focuses on advantages of the plan, not on the risks,” said Kathleen Hall Jamieson

[John McLaughlin]Wrong![John McLaughlin]

David Kupelian:

I remember when I first realized Reagan was doing something extraordinary. It was on March 23, 1983. I happened to be in K-Mart’s electronics section

Stop that, stop that, you’re not going into a song while I’m here.

It’s something like that, if Walter E. Williams is any indication:

Americans contribute six or seven times more than some of our European neighbors.

My fellow wingnuts…

Jeff Ganon, Talon News White House reporter and man of international mystery, is calling it quits:

Because of the attention being paid to me I find it is no longer possible to effectively be a reporter for Talon News. In consideration of the welfare of me and my family I have decided to return to private life.

This is Jeff.

This is his family.

Via World O’Crap, Atrios, and TBOGG.

Human Events Online asks:

Do you recall voting for these laws? […]

AL QAEDA GETS A LAWYER: Thanks to liberal judges, foreign enemy combatants now have access to our courts. Look for them to demand the right to a lawyer, paid for by U.S. taxpayers.

Do you recall voting for these laws? Sadly, No!

WOMAN: Order, eh — who does he think he is?
ARTHUR: I am your king!
WOMAN: Well, I didn’t vote for you.
ARTHUR: You don’t vote for kings.
WOMAN: Well, ‘ow did you become king then?
ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake, [angels sing] her arm clad in the
purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of
the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to
carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king!
DENNIS: Listen — strange women lying in ponds distributing
swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive
power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some
farcical aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power
just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin’ I was an emperor just
because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they’d
put me away!
ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!

Well, we hope that cleared things up. [Fixed our bit.]

Fixed typo in poor Ann’s name.

If there’s one thing everyone agrees on in WingNutLand, it’s that credit must never be given to Clinton under any circumstances. Today’s WSJ provides as good an example as one can get:

In fact, the last time Congress showed any budget discipline at all was the last time there was a large deficit, in the mid-1990s. Once “the surplus” arrived, however, both the Clinton Administration and the GOP Congress went back on the sauce, and the spending boom continued in the early Bush years. [link — subscription required]

To make their point, the fucksticks good people of the WSJ provide a graph showing government spending as a percentage of GDP. Fair enough — if that’s the measure they want to use, we say let’s go, baby! Because it may sometimes be difficult to tell exactly what was going year to year from the graph, we provide this handy table. In what year, using the WSJ’s own yardstick, did federal spending increase? (CBO link)

+0.1% in 2001 — some fucking sauce. Of course, that beats having to admit that over the last 25 years the government is at its most fiscally irresponsible when a Republican is in the White House.

Bonus points: From the Department of self-delusion:

A good Washington rule of thumb is that the value of any budget proposal is directly proportional to the screaming in Congress against it. By that measure, and acknowledging the low bar, this is by far the best budget of the Bush era. To make it stick, however, Mr. Bush will have to play hardball and threaten if not cast a veto or two. The sooner the better.

Bush has got as much chance of casting a meaningful veto as Condi Rice does of getting a half decent haircut. [John Stossel] Give us a break! [/John Stossel]