I guess Kaye got tired of looking goofy in her Renew America glamour shot, ’cause she’s got a new pic up:
Hmmmm… it’s not as much fun, is it? Thankfully, I saved the Tiger Kaye picture on my hard drive:
Yeeeeah, that’s the Kaye we know and love!
Speaking of, she’s got a new column up today. You’ll be glad to know that while her new picture is an improvement, her writing still sucks. Let’s check it out!
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The leaders of Iraq’s emerging new government must not allow “turbulence or incompetence or corruption” to slow or foil progress toward building democracy and defeating the insurgency, Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld said.
Yeah, it’s not like the American government ever let incompetence and corruption slow us down!
That says ‘poutine’ if your monitor is by Mattel like ours, or if it refuses to reproduce the word, ‘poutine.’ Stay grippingly engaged for a Wingnut Twins adventure, probably some good-natured ribbing of the veal-sculpted Mark Crutcher and his jumping-poodle show, Life Dynamics, and crucial updates on Seb’s double-penis auction.
OK, I’m putting the main contents of this post below the fold. DO NOT READ IT IF YOU ARE NOT A BASEBALL FAN- I wish to hear no whining about “Ooooh-hoooo-hoooo, we come to S,N! to read about Justin Darr, not your silly little men playing with their balls.” I’ll have none of it. This is you last chance to stop reading.
Ready? Here we go:
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I’ll stop writing about the Swanksta when he stops giving me ripe material. But until then, here’s a round-up of Pastor Joseph Grant Swank’s writings for the past week:
It has to be, if naked men walking around are described thusly:
The people, huddled behind cordons, were widely well behaved — except for one man. An apparent streaker, who was seized and covered by police officers, who walked him away. [Emphasis added, exposed penis in the original.]
Didn’t Daniel Patrick Moynihan write about this?
A firestorm of criticism has brought us, as Debbie Daniel might say, to a bolt of self-doubt, becoming an earthquake of clarity that whipped into a line in the sand. That line became a vicious circle that talked turkey!
Many commenters told us that the word, ‘c___,’ as found on Malkin’s blog and quoted by ourselves, is unacceptable and offensive, and may not be used.
For instance, a hypothetical phrase such as, “Michelle Malkin, a vile racist whose every lying utterance reeks to God, who tarts herself around like a der-headed twelve-year-old mall rat, has said “I’m nothing but a c___” in a public forum; and would indeed profitably be avoided by all decent people for the sulfurous stench she gases out every time she attempts to imitate human speech,” would be an acceptable and uncontroversial phrase (hypothetically) save for the use of the word, ‘c___,’ which is offensive.
(Malkin on Matthews, claiming Kerry ‘shot himself’ to get his combat medals)
Instead of being all like, “Wuh? But she left us a huge, gaping opening — as it were,” we promised to avoid anatomical references in the future, and to concentrate instead on our core endeavor of making fun of big, bouncy dicks — or calling people rude euphemisms for fat whangers, or penises. A hypothetical example would be, “Jonah Goldberg is a big, fat, throbbing, doinking ding-dong of a penis!”
This move away from anatomical humor seemed to make folks relieved and happier, and that’s what we’re here for — to educate and comfort through mirth. Or, as Louis Untermeyer said so lucidly:
Laughter shall drown the raucous shout;
And, though these shelt?ring walls are thin,
May they be strong to keep hate out
And hold love in.
For being a spokesmodel for ethnic concentration camps might be bad indeed, but some things just aren’t funny. We extend a wreath of friendship to Malkin and to all who sail upon her. And we promise never to do it again at the earliest possible opportunity.
Debbie Daniel (a.k.a., the Unholy Love-Spawn of Donna Reed and Margaret Thatcher) has been pretty quiet lately- and no wonder! If her latest column is an indication, she’s been gearing up to join Cal Thomas’ al-Terri Martyrs’ Brigade:
There’s a crack in our foundation
Debbie Daniel
Wake up America . . . the alarm clock just went off and we keep turning over and going back to sleep. There’s an “uprisin’ on the horizon” and we refuse to face it. Sleeping through it might make it easier, but the end result will be devastating.
Yep, Debbie’s gonna take to the streets chanting “Dubya Akbar!” until The People rise up and overthrow the tyrannical independent judiciary, just like the Founding Fathers would have done if they weren’t a bunch of pussies worried about “separation of powers.”
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It’s the end of the week, which means it’s time for more pearls of wisdom from America’s Worst Minister, Pastor Joseph Grant Swank:
I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES: THE JACKET
J. Grant Swank, Jr.
He murdered a fellow. Would I visit him in prison?
Great way to start off a column, Pastor Swank. I think it’s your best lede since "The demons crawled our church walls."
(‘C**t’ Malkin)
We would never make such a thing up. We confirmed this information via Malkin’s own blog:
This is what passes for intellectual debate at Kevin Drum’s blog, Political Animal, hosted by the esteemed liberal magazine, the Washington Monthly.
Michelle Malkin is a cunt.
Posted by: hostile on April 7, 2005 at 11:17 AM | PERMALINKMichelle Malkin is a cunt.
Check your talking points, dude. The Official Left-wing Anti-Malkin punch-word is “whore.”
Posted by: Once a dem on April 7, 2005 at 11:21 AM | PERMALINKnope. hostile is right. she’s a cunt. Coulter is neither cunt nor whore. she’s a man. Maggie “Pay for Play” Gallagher is the whore.
Posted by: sean on April 7, 2005 at 11:24 AM | PERMALINKDrum may argue he has no control over these bile-spewers. But Drum himself set the tone in his own shallow post on the Schiavo memo matter, in which he tells me and other bloggers to “just STFU” (“shut the f***k up” for the acronym-challeged). Does respected Monthly editor Charles Peters condone this rhetoric?
[…]
But, hey, I’m just a c**t. And a whore. And I should just shut the f**k up. Right?
[Crickets, a breeze through the pines, a lonely freight train whistles in the distance.]
[It’s not supposed to be this simple, Michelle. We like to work for it more.]
P.S.: Many have wondered, How was the former Michelle Maglalang rendered such a rabid Republican racist, who reasons so ruinously?
Was it the ‘Vitamin R!?’