I’ve got too much homework to write anything substantial tonight, so I’m just gonna outsource Sadly, No’s! regular zaniness to The Editors.
Every time I think I’m somewhat funny, The Poor Man writes something like this to show me how much better I could be. We at Sadly, No! give him a big salute. Go read.
Most scientists have decided to boycott the “Scopes Trial II” being held in Kansas this week because they don’t want to lend legitimacy to the proponents of “Intelligent Design.” Thus, the defense of evolution is left to one lone lawyer, who has no real expertise in biology.
Happily, the Intelligent Designers are still getting their asses kicked (emphasis added):
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I dunno if guys ever saw this at my old blog, but today I’m gonna share one of my all-time favorite fundamentalist Christian cartoons- THE TRUTH FOR YOUTH!!!
Basically, “The Truth for Youth” comics are like Chick Tracts, but with edgier, anime-style drawings. Plus, they’re put out by the hilarious crackpot Tim Todd (I’d give you Tim’s biography, but there’s really nothing I can say about him that this picture won’t tell you):
And with that, let’s take a look at Tim’s comic strip about evolution, called “Somebody’s Making a Monkey Out of You!”
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I know it’s not a scientific poll, but I still think this is disturbing (results as of 7:21 p.m.):
Should public schools teach students about counterarguments to the theory of evolution? * 42709 responses
Yes– many Americans doubt evolution, and education should reflect widespread beliefs- 44%
No– evolution is a well-established scientific principle- 56%
Even setting aside the creationism-evolution “debate” (which really just consists of creationists howling and shrieking), who the hell really thinks the content of education should be based on “widespread beliefs?” If a lot of Americans believe Saddam was behind 9/11, does this mean we should teach this “alternative view” in history classes?
Just what you wanted to read about- more sodomy!
FDA to ban sperm from men who had gay sex
NEW YORK (AP) — To the dismay of gay-rights activists, the Food and Drug Administration is about to implement new rules recommending that any man who has engaged in homosexual sex in the previous five years be barred from serving as an anonymous sperm donor.
The FDA has rejected calls to scrap the provision, insisting that gay men collectively pose a higher-than-average risk of carrying the AIDS virus.
To paraphrase the words of one brave man, “What about a sperm donor who does nothing but fuck his wife up the ass?”
Take it away, Sharon!
Could it just be possible that teaching evolution as fact, that students come from animals and without purpose, be responsible in any way for the increase of crime and other social problems, such as rape, that we’re seeing amongst our youth today? […]
For instance, as pointed out by Gary DeMar in his editorial, “The Dark Side of Evolution,” two evolutionists, writing in the Academy of Science magazine, The Sciences, stated, “Rape is a ‘natural, biological’ phenonmenon, springing from men’s evolutionary urge to reproduce.” Couple this with the over-the-edge sex-ed now being taught in schools, should we be surprised when we hear that middle school kids are having sex, even in the classroom?
This is totally what’s wrong with kids today- instead of coming home and watching TV, they’re reading obscure articles in the Academy of Sciences journal. Sure, it sounds harmless when they tell their parents they’re going to hang out at The Genome Integrity Discussion Group, but don’t be fooled- that’s just a code word for “Rape Class.”
And as for teaching condoms, that’s obviously part of the problem too, since I’m sure most rapists are strict practioners of safe sex.
If this is true (and it’s from Drudge, so I’d be skeptical), it’s the greatest thing ever:
Coulter said she supported the definition of marriage as between a man and a woman on the basis that a good woman civilizes and inspires a man to strive for something better, leading to a question that was met with a stunned silence.
“You say that you believe in the sanctity of marriage,” said Ajai Raj, an English sophomore. “How do you feel about marriages where the man does nothing but f*@k his wife up the ass?”
UT Police officers approached Raj to arrest him, resulting in a mass exodus of protesters chanting, “Let him go.”
See, that is so, so much better than throwing a pie. Someone dedicate a monument to this kid. Me likes the cut of his jib.
EXCITING UPDATE!!! The Smoking Gun has more details. According to the police report on the incident, Coulter’s lecture was attended by “several children under the age of ten,” so it probably wasn’t cool of Mr. Raj to ask that particular question. Of course, I don’t think it’s appropriate to bring your children to see a woman who advocated blowing up The New York Times, either.
You know what the BEST part about this is? The next time WorldNetDaily Googles “ass fucking sex,” they’re likely to get a link about Ann Coulter…
I get the feeling that WorldNetDaily doesn’t like Google very much:
A conservative political action committee has charged Google with bias, saying the popular search engine rejected the PAC’s request to run an anti-Nancy Pelosi ad that had nearly identical wording to one that slammed Rep. Tom DeLay, the Republican majority leader.
Right, and because Google rejected an ad filled with bogus charges against Nancy Pelosi and accepted an ad filled with charges that got Tom DeLay reprimanded by the Republican-controlled House Ethics Committee, it’s an obvious left-wing plot.
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OK, kids, here are the odds on which Townhall pundit will be the first to say the “runaway bride” fiasco was caused by feminism, gay marriage, the decline of Judeo-Christian values, or some combination thereof:
Ann Coulter- 2:1
Ben Shapiro- 4:1 (3:1 if you include cross-dressing as the potential culprit)
Dennis Prager- 5:1
Michelle Malkin- 6:1
Doug Giles*- 10:1
Place your bets in the comments. Winner will receive Hemlock Echo’s greasy thong.
*Doug will probably say that groom-to-be John Mason wasn’t enough of a “hyper-manly-Jesus-on-steroids Christian” like Doug, and that he should have stoned his wife at the first sign of disobedience.
Matt Furey seems like a pretty busy guy. Between teaching his “politically incorrect fitness” program (which presumably involves beating up immigrants) and learning the ancient art of Chinese kung-fu sex, I don’t know how he finds the time to be an internet millionaire. I guess some guys have it all (or at the very least, they have a bunch gullible Newsmax readers who send them money).
Anyway, let’s take a look at “Mr. Ultimate Fitness'” latest letter:
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