Sadly, No!

The Patriots ain’t what they used to be, but they should still kick the crap outta the hapless Jets. Rawk on.

Fox News picked this up over the weekend, but ol’ Michelle the Junkyard Newshound got there first.

Woo, that’ll get ’em. The ACLU gets apoplectic over private demonstrations of free speech.
Here’s McCullough:

Here’s a nice one. (Ra-ho-ho-ho!-wa) It’s sort of old-timey because the modern right has learned never to race-bait, anymore, without cleverly employing non-white spokes-Quislings like Michelle Malkin and Thomas Sowell, etc., to actually level the charges — or by whooping up proxy issues like mass Islamic subversion, periodic border ‘crises,’ and attacks-on-Christmas to keep the stupes and boobs simmering at their tawny-hued fellow citizens and the groups that support them. Instead of burning a cross on someone else’s lawn, like in the old days, they’ll set a couple of popsicle sticks alight on their own lawn and then scream that the Muslims or the ACLU started that roaring tower of flame, which threatened to consume all of society (and still smolders dangerously). Inter alia, I think the card above is fake, but that it uses authentic graphic elements.

Case in point: While Malkin makes near-daily claims of conservative victimhood and persecution in that chipper, cutely arch way that makes her so popular among the Red-State Angries (and respectable on the talk circuit), the Mystic Knights of the Ku Klux Klan aren’t selling these posters this year:

…Because their site seems to have been knocked off the Web.

Maybe someone had better call the ACLU?

*Kevin McCullough is apparently a right-wing Christian radio screamer based at New York’s WMCA.
**Apparently, his fans are called ‘muscleheads.’
***Oh wait, that Kevin McCullough — our pal from WorldNetDaily.

“I look like a cautionary tale
against self-abuse, pepperoni
Hot Pockets, and Mario Kart.”

Eat it, Bush Cobagz!!1!11!!!eleventyone1!!

Also, not content merely to ruin the institution of marriage for all straight Americans everywhere, Res Publica is now helping to eliminate the so-called “Christ Mass” holiday, which has been so much in the news lately.

Ha ha, O’Reilly — these cookies will really make you “felafel.”

What have you done, today, to help stop “Christ Mass?”
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Via Crooks & Liars, we have this groundbreaking financial report from FOX News:

Holy crap. I feel like irony has attached itself to my face and has started laying eggs in my stomach. In a couple of days, its offspring will burst out of my torso and start singing, “It’s like raaaaaaa-eeeeee-aaaaaaaain on ya wedding day!”

Pray for me.

…in the Editors’ First Annual Wanker Awards, that is!

I’m still lobbying to get Hindrocket a Lifetime Achievement Award for Wankery. He’s more than earned it.

Before I get to today’s post, I’d just like to say that on my stroll through Downtown Crossing this morning, I heard “Holly Jolly Christmas” blaring on the Filene’s outdoor speaker system. Yes, you read that correctly: it’s still possible to hear Christmas music in the heart of God-hatin’, gay-marryin’, Ted Kennedy-electin’ Boston. So please, wingnuts, stop threatening to sue our city– we’re really not as godless as you think.

OK, now onto today’s post:

Up here in Sodomchussets, I generally feel immune to the corrosive, deleterous effects of wingnuttery. Having spent most of my life in a state where lattes flow freely and nups are homo, I’ve gotten used to thinking that wingnuttery can only happen in those “other” states, like Kansas, Texas and Alabama. Indeed, every time some county in Tennessee tries to ban gay people, I let out a derisive chuckle and think to myself, “Thank Heavens that could never happen here!”

Well, not so fast. While we may not have as many kooks as Kansas, Massachusetts does have its share of right-wing crazies. The estimable S.Z., better known as the voluptuous headmistress of World O’Crap, is reporting that there’s wingnuttery occurring right in my own backyard, thanks to the efforts of a crakpot anti-gay organization known as the Article 8 Alliance.
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I think I’ve found the perfect picture for my “Fuck Christmas” campaign:

“Burn, mofo, burn!!!”

And now, for the latest update in the Secret Plot to Ruin Christmas for Everyone, we turn to the American Family Association, who report on anti-Christmas activity in my very own home town of Boston:

Christian students at Harvard University in Cambridge, Massachusetts, are criticizing Christmas censorship that is happening in nearby Boston this year. Recently, the city officially renamed its Christmas tree in Boston Commons a “holiday tree” — a move that has sparked outrage in Beantown and beyond.

Hey wingnuts. Mayor Mumbles already said it was a Christmas tree. Por favor, just let it drop.
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Crooks & Liars reports on this FOX News poll showing “only” 42% of the country agrees that there’s a “War on Christmas.”

Writes C&L:

It’s pretty bad Mr. O’Reilly, when your constant pounding of the “War on Christmas,’ theme doesn’t even resonate with your own audience.

Except, if I’m not mistaken, this wasn’t just a poll of FOX viewers- this was a poll of the general population. And the fact that 42% of the people in this country think there’s an actual “War on Christmas” is pretty frickin’ scary.

G-Spice adds: …And we won’t stop until the last caroler is hung from the top of the last, burning Christmas tree!

Shut up, kid.

PS: Check out this excellent instructional government Christmas video. Ha ha! Oh, excuse me: ‘Holiday video.’

I really should. The last time I did, it attracted a bunch of hilariously pissed-off comments from a small legion of Fred Durst fans. Here are the highlights:

ALL YOU HATERS SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO BACK AND LISTEN TO ALL YOUR TEENY BOBING HAPPY HORSE SHIT EMO BANDS YOU FUCKING GAY FAGS

Posted by: Dan | November 30, 2005 03:52 PM

hey bro….if that was the most painfull thing u’ve ever heard, then u are absolutely with no expirionce in life, go stab ur balls with a fork or smth, that will probobly be more painfull, glad to help u out man, anytime

oh ye by the way FUCK YOU

Posted by: LimpHaterssuckmylargecock | November 30, 2005 07:41 PM

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That’s pretty much the gist of Mary Mostert’s latest column, called “Why won’t the media just report what President Bush SAYS?” Let’s take a look:

Why won’t the media report what President Bush actually SAYS?

Mary Mostert
December 1, 2005

In my youth in the 1930s and in World War II, back in the days when Democrat Franklin Delano Roosevelt was president of the United States, when it was announced he would be speaking on the radio, throughout this nation families gathered around the radio and listened to what he had to say. The New York Times printed what he said IN FULL in its next edition.

“Plus, nickels had picture of bees on them. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say.”
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