Sadly, No!

Mildly line-editing an Atrios item, etc. (Dep’t of Corrections):

Sub: “‘The fact that Fitzgerald is going through the effort to re-present [hi-hats, cue wicked beat] …ta re-prazent Jus-tice, front o’ tha G-O-P/ Sayin’ f*ck obstruction and per-jury/ You wanna step ta someone, then step ta me/ I got a grand jury or maybe three/ I’m US-legal like a bald eagle, rappin’ law-Creole, got a eye on the keyhole for Valerie P./ An’ indictments pre-drafted for Rove and Che-ney/ An’ if you think ya [record scratch] …is certainly a sign that the investigation is active,’ Eliason said.”

Yep, it certainly seemed too quiet for awhile there.

Thanks to reader Tim, we bring you these shorters:

Shorter Diana Lynne — The silence over Terri

I don’t care how tired you are of hearing about the Zombie Schiavo, I’m keeping this story alive, did you know she went thirteen days witho-. I AM NOT OBSESSING!

Shorter Robert Knight — The abortion-homosexual connection

Homos cause abortion.

Shorter Guy Adams — The battle against Christmas

I am ARMED and trained in the use of bold, italics, underline, and embedded pictures, with extreme prejudice! Although this puts me above nearly all the renewamerica writers, I still sound like I’m wearing a tinfoil hat!

Shorter Wes Vernon — We are at war–hello?

Derp!

And just so we don’t appear like total slackers, here is one of our own: Shorter Wall Street Journal Editorial — Condi’s European Torture

If you ask us, the only person being tortured these days is Condoleezza Rice, who is being forced to listen to Europeans complain about stuff.

Bonus shorter, take II:

Since some people knew about those secret prisons, that proves they weren’t secret. So there.

Shorter concept inspired by busy, busy, busy, originally launched by Daniel Davies at D-Squared Digest with the original Shorter Steven den Beste. Disclaimer copied in part from busy, busy, busy.

Welp (hic!), let’s see what’s on ol’ Pajamas Media this morning.

[dook-dook-dook] Ahhh! …No, pour another one; it’s starting to look like a long way to noon from here.

So yeah, it’s good to know that the right-blogosphere has its top men on the problem.

It’s not even cool to make fun of Pajamas Media anymore, is it? We’re starting to miss them already.

Over at Powerline, we find:

But since there’s no doubt, then it should be easy to prove them. Or…?

If it makes you want to go back to bed at 9 AM, to dream dreams of a world free of demented neo-Stalinist legal reasoning, then it must be…

Posted by John

 

Haaaaaaaaa-ha!!!! (via Crooks and Liars):

This month, as in every December since he took office, President Bush sent out cards with a generic end-of-the-year message, wishing 1.4 million of his close friends and supporters a happy “holiday season.”

Many people are thrilled to get a White House Christmas card, no matter what the greeting inside. But some conservative Christians are reacting as if Bush stuck coal in their stockings.

“This clearly demonstrates that the Bush administration has suffered a loss of will and that they have capitulated to the worst elements in our culture,” said William A. Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights.

Indeed. It seems that Bush has lost the resolve to win the War on Christmas.

Is fighting the Liberal War on Christmas cutting into your holiday shopping this year? Relax! Pour a cup of fair-trade hot chocolate and let us do the heavy lifting. Even if you live in a red state, you can have a blue, blue holiday season with these exclusive items from the Sadly Holiday Shoppe!


Item 630-52-107 — ‘Holiday Bluestocking’

Take that, Red State scum! This custom-monogrammed holiday stocking hearkens to the 18th Century, when female intellectuals gathered in Bluestocking Clubs. Open it with joy on Holiday Morning, or simply fill it with rocks and bash a ‘conservative feminist’ into a coma.


Item 552-52-107 — ‘Holiday Man Suit’
Item 553-52-107 — ‘Holiday Man Hat and Beard’

Whatever your Holiday, you’ll be the hit of the party with this red-free Holiday suit — or even just a hat-and-beard Man ensemble.


Item 552-47-107 — ‘Palestinian Flag Ornament’

Do you accept the Holidays’ right to exist? If so, this ornament will liven up your Holiday tree while giving your wingnut relatives apoplexia. Whatever your views on Israel, you’ll say “Yasser!” when this handmade matte-finish beauty makes its Holiday debut — although let it be clear that we unconditionally support a right of return.


Item 989-50-107 — ‘Gay Creche’

“Wait,” your dumb relatives will say, “Is that two Josephs in that creche — or is it a couple of Marys?” This touching nativity scene is a tribute to marriage, and celebrates the miraculous birth of a Holiday religious figure to his earthly fathers. Larry and Joseph figures also sold separately.

Say, is planning your Holiday meal a chore? Worry not, Moonbat! Stay tuned for more exclusive items, only at MichaelBérubé.com here.

ABC reports:

The United States is eager to get off on the right foot with Merkel after turbulent relations with the government of blunt Bush opponent Gerhard Schroeder.

After Merkel said the US, via Rice, admitted to making a mistake when it arrested and detained a German citizen for five months, we found out how eager the US is to “get off on the right foot:”

But senior U.S. officials, traveling to Romania with Rice on the next leg of her European tour, said Rice had not admitted a U.S. mistake over Masri.

While the U.S. government had informed Germany about his detention and release, it did not say that was a mistake, one senior administration official told reporters.

“We are not quite sure what was in her head,” he said, referring to Merkel.

Yeah, that should smooth things over. Besides, it doesn’t sound like a mistake was made in this case at all. Not even close.

Through Roger Ailes we found out earlier we were nominated for something, namely The Weblog Awards. Not just nominated mind you — but nominated in the “Best of the Top 251 – 500 Blogs” category. Now that’s something to put on the old resume!

Yet we’re not the bragging sort here and we weren’t going to mention it. Until, that is, we saw this:

When last I checked, I was running well ahead of a couple of right-wing blogs, but in a virtual tie with Austin Bay for second behind . . . Sadly, No! Can we allow this all-important 251-500 category to be taken by Sadly, No!? I think we all know the answer to that one.

Those words were written by Michael B?rub?, an American (we think) whose name includes more accents than ours, and we’re from Montr?al! So let’s make sure we make Michael pay, and give him a little taste of Poutine Power?. Should we lose anyway, we’ll always have three words to keep us company: Je me souviens. Go!

In the thread below, Dan Someone and I had a brief chat about how amazingly stupid our country has become. To recap:

Is there another planet I can move to? This one is turning into an omnitheocracy, and frankly, I would prefer to be around rational people.

Posted by: Dan Someone | December 5, 2005 10:08 PM

Dan- I know. I just don’t understand what happened to make this country turn so goddamned stupid.

Posted by: Brad R. | December 5, 2005 10:21 PM

And really, it’s a good question.

But before we can learn why our country is so stupid, we must first understand just how stupid we’ve truly become. To illustrate, I’m going to give you three examples of the supreme idiocy that’s destroying our public discourse. Note that all of them occured within the past week, all of them pertained to the War on Christmas, and all of them were provided by FOX News.
Read the rest of this entry »

Under God or Under Darwin?

Maybe Muslims and Americans will come together one day when they join together in their hatred of the ACLU.

No, really.