Sadly, No!

Tim sends us a link to Dreamlines:

This work has recently been featured in very popular blogs… […]

Dreamlines is a non-linear, interactive visual experience. The user enters one or more words that define the subject of a dream he would like to dream. The system looks in the Web for images related to those words, and takes them as input to generate an ambiguous painting, in perpetual change, where elements fuse into one another, in a process analogous to memory and free association.

First person to report on the results of a dream with “Marie Jon’ Sweater” as the topic gets a really big stick. (See below or click here.)

In his latest Townhall column, W. Thomas Smith, Jr. fantasizes about being protected by manly men with strong arms and firm buttocks:

American manhood will prevail
Mar 6, 2006
by W. Thomas Smith, Jr.

I’m often asked whether or not America is still producing future generations of the right sort of men. Not just good men—a man is either good or bad—but tough, clear-headed, un-emasculated, young male leaders capable of standing up to future threats against this nation. After all, as Dr. Walid Phares concludes in his book, Future Jihad, what most Americans “may not want to accept is that the pre-9/11 peace is not coming back soon, and may not come back at all.�

Worse: the future foot-soldiers in the enemy camp are physically, mentally, and emotionally prepared—albeit misguided—young men (and a handful of women) who have no qualms about sacrificing themselves for the cause of our destruction.

Precisely. We must train our young’uns to become suicide bombers, or we’ll all be speaking Muslamic by the end of the decade.
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I really hope Brokeback Mountain wins best picture, if only because it’ll result in a week’s worth of hilarious whining at Townhall, WorldNetDaily and Renew America. I personally can’t wait to read Ben Shapiro’s column about how Hollywood mocks traditional values by not hating on gay people.

UPDATE: I’m so happy that “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp” won for best original song. That’ll give Ben Shapiro something extra-funny to whine about.

Also, Jon Stewart started out terrible, but he’s gotten really funny over the last half hour.

UPDATE: Here we go! Get ready some wingnut heads to burst!!!

Whoa. Crash won? That’s, like, the least controversial movie they could chose. Wimps.

…and then there’s Brent “Youppi” Bozell:

It was bad enough Williams couldn’t muster a whole story, but then to describe Saddam as the former Iraqi “president”? Pathetic. [Emphasis added]

Et tu, TownHall?

Meanwhile, catching his first sight of the former Iraqi president as his bearded, bewildered picture was flashed across the TV screen during Sunday brunch at Vermillion in Alexandria, Va. lawyer David D. Hudgins shouted for all to hear: “Bad Santa!”

Oops:

Ramsey Clark, former U.S. attorney general and leftist anti-war activist, announced yesterday he has joined the defense team of former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein.

Had we been in Brett’s shoes, we would have gone for the Interrobang. (Thanks to Doghouse Riley at Norbizness.)

It’s upon us:

The United States and Britain are planning to pull all their troops out of Iraq by the spring of 2007, two British newspapers reported in their Sunday editions, quoting unnamed senior defense ministry sources.

The Sunday Telegraph said the planned pull-out followed an acceptance by the two governments that the presence of foreign troops in Iraq was now a large obstacle to securing peace.

The Pentagon is denying that such plans exist, but let’s face it: the writing is on the wall.

I’d like to think we’ve learned something from this whole terrible ordeal, but I’m pretty sure that we haven’t. I’ll post more on this when I’m not so tired.

On an unrelated note, I just got back from watching Night Watch. It’s a pretty durn good movie, if you’re into Russian vampires and shit.

The hottest conservative writer on the web writes:

President G. W. Bush, a born again Christian, has kept our country safe from terrorist attacks.

Sadly, No! (No link necessary.)

I’m sneaking into the server through the drainpipe again, so if I can’t constrict my ribs and snake out of the pipe with a satisfying Ptui! then it’s Saturday Vids again, as opposed to Friday, which today is.

I’m going to try to slip this one in here before Der Deutschesproxyserver gibts up Der Ghost again, as it’s been doing for lo! these many hours and minutes. (Hanxo to Pinko Punko für Das Video.)

Orange Juice – ‘Rip It Up’ (3:43)

Thanks to tigrismus for sending me this mind-bendingly awful op-ed that appeared in today’s Boston Globe. It was written by some guy named Michael Kalin, whose sole qualification for writing editorials seems to be that he graduated from Haaaaaaaaah-vard last year. As tig rightly notes, it’s probably the most poorly-argued editorial ever published by a major paper*, and is wholly deserving of ridicule. So get ready to rev up the ol’ Sadly, No! chainsaw, kids, ’cause we’re about to shread some serious stupid:

Why Jon Stewart isn’t funny
By Michael Kalin | March 3, 2006

THE SELECTION of Jon Stewart as the host for Sunday night’s 2006 Oscars undoubtedly marks a career milestone for the aspiring king of late-night comedy. Unfortunately, however, the ascension of Stewart and ”The Daily Show” into the public eye is no laughing matter. Stewart’s ever-increasing popularity among young viewers directly correlates with the declining influence of progressive thought in America. Coincidence? I think not. Let me explain.

OK, so his thesis is that the left’s failure to win elections is directly related to the ratings of a fake news show on Comedy Central. It sounds like a pretty flaky idea to me, but let’s see what evidence he uses to back up his claim:

Meet Joshua Goldberg, a fictional composite of the typical apostle of ”The Daily Show.” Born in Newton, Goldberg attended Newton South High School where he played an integral role in securing the school’s debate championship. His 3.8 grade point average and impressive array of extracurricular activities earned him a scholarship to Vassar, where he majored in political science and joined a Jewish fraternity.

“He also likes saying ‘Oy gevalt!’ and enjoys eating pastrami-flavored bagels. When he was younger, his mother used to pinch his ponem and brag to her friends about how her little bubeleh was going to be a doctor some day.”
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I know that making fun of Scott Stapp is normally TBogg’s gig, but this was just too funny to pass up:

Scott Stapp: “With legs wide oh-PUN-ah!”

Scott Stapp thinks a recently released sex video showing him and Kid Rock with several strippers is meant to sabotage him.

Sorry, I should have warned y’all to stop eating before you read this post. If you puked on your screen after reading “Scott Stapp” and “sex tape” in the same sentence, my apologies.

“Obviously someone wants to hurt me and doesn’t want me to be successful in my solo career,” Stapp told AP Radio in a recent interview.

Hey, Scott? No one wants you to be successful in your solo career. You’re gonna need to find some more specific clues.

The tape was not the only thing causing Stapp headaches. A day after his wedding, Stapp was arrested for investigation of being drunk at Los Angeles International Airport. He is set for arraignment on March 8.

“You don’t want to say it’s laughable, but it’s just like, my God, there’s so much stuff,” he said. “Somebody does not like you and somebody wants you to fail.”

That should be “Somebody” with a capital “S,” Mr. Stapp. The Big Guy is still pissed that you recorded so much bad music in His Name.

Holy Crap:

LUCIFER LETTER TO AMERICAN MUSIC INDUSTRY

I am “Lucifer� but you may call me “Satan�. My spirit is alive and active through my disciples in the United States of America as well as the rest of the world. This is my second letter of communication. It is but one of a series of personal letters addressed to my premier supporters. To all of the music executives, producers, writers and entertainers creating “my music�, this letter of appreciation is exclusively for each of you “personally�.

Resistance is futile? This is like the bizarro world version of Jesus’ General. Or something.

[Thanks to reader steev for the link — expect to see plenty more from where that came from in the near future.]