Yet Another Definition to Add to the Wingnut Debate Dictionary

G for Glendetta– working youself up into a hilarious spasm of moral outrage because some wise-ass called you a “cracker.”

(Thanks to Roy for the inspiration.)

[Gavin adds:]

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Stone him! Stone him!

Opinion Journal steps up to the plate in the loony challenge:

The lesson of the Moussaoui trial is that the regular criminal justice system isn’t up to the job of trying most terrorists.

Because life in prison without the possibility of parole, with the death penalty option having been lost on account of a prosecutorial error, undoubtedly means the “regular” criminal justice system is a joke.

The criminal prosecution was a missed opportunity to show the world how trial by military tribunal would work.

And cancelling the 2004 Super Bowl would have been a missed opportunity to see Janet Jackson’s nipple. Shame really.

Meanwhile, as the Administration decides whether to proceed with the death-penalty trial against Moussaoui, there’s a certain moral irony in a confessed terrorist being saved by the very legal system that he spent three years railing against.

Not to mention the moral irony in finding anything other than killing someone the equivalent of salvation. We’re sure Moussaoui will enjoy himself tremendously in prison. Good times.

 

Yes Sir, Right Away Mr. Congressman, Sir

[Updated with extra secret spooky terror secrets — thanks, Maha!]

So here’s why Michelle Malkin and all those guys are so stirred up over the alleged new Iraq documents.

Sen. Rick Santorum (news, bio, voting record) of Pennsylvania and Rep. Pete Hoekstra of Michigan, Republicans who lobbied for the data’s release, said it was important that the information be made available quickly to the public, including political “blogs.”

“We’re hoping to unleash the power of the Internet, unleash the power of the blogosphere, to get through these documents and give us a better understanding of what was going on in Iraq before the war,” said Hoekstra, chairman of the House of Representatives’ Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence.

This press conference was at 1:30 this afternoon (Thursday, EST), but Malkin and Powerline both had the sirens going hours ahead of time, whether through newly revealed psychic ability or other means. Whatever the case, someone in power is finally paying them some attention, and like the bad Americans they are, they’re jumping into the harness and straining at the carrot.

There’ve been a number of layers to this story, none obviously worth writing about (i.e. funny in a way that works with pictures of talking cats or Charles Johnson chased by UFOs, and so on), until today, when they all coalesced into a huge gob of wingnut-stupid. But it goes something like this — and I’ll lay it out in greater scope and with more links tomorrow, if you’re interested.
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More From The Dread Parrot Robbins

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It’s Jim “Good News From Iraq” Robbins again.

MORE ON THE RELEASED DOCUMENTS [Jim Robbins]

Good post on Free Republic on one of the documents posted without a translation. It is an Iraqi intelligence report from September 15, 2001. It states:

“1. That Osama Bin Laden and the Taliban in Afghanistan are in contact with Iraq and it that previously a group from Taliban and Osama Bin Laden group visited Iraq.

2. That America has proof that the government of Iraq and Osama Bin Laden group have shown cooperation to hit target within America.”

Why wasn’t this posted with a translation? Wouldn’t that qualify as salient information people should know about? Sometimes I really have to wonder if all the components of the government are in this war to win it.
Posted at 04:27 PM

Traitors lurk everywhere. But let’s just restore a wee little redacted passage of this Freeper translation of an officially unauthenticated Arabic document.

Our source in Afghanistan No 11002 (for information about him see attachment 1) provided us with information that Afghani Consul Ahmad Dahestani (for information about him see attachment 2) told him the following:

1. That Osama Bin Laden and the Taliban in Afghanistan are in contact with Iraq and it that previously a group from Taliban and Osama Bin Laden group visited Iraq.

2. That America has proof that the government of Iraq and Osama Bin Laden group have shown cooperation to hit target within America.

If someone has some free time, maybe they can abstract for J-Ro the difference in meaning between the ideas, ‘it states [something]’ and ‘it states that this guy we know said he heard from this other guy that [something].’

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–James S. Robbins is a senior fellow in national-security affairs at the American Foreign Policy Council, a trustee for the Leaders for Liberty Foundation, and an NRO contributor.

Wingnut Welfare — like sweet, sweet candy, but so bad for you.

 

What’s Wrong With the Democrats, Part II: Bridging the Skank Gap

In recent elections, Democrats have had trouble attracting the support of white men. Some have speculated that this is because white males get turned off by the left’s affinity for minority and identity politics. Others think that this is due to the left’s insufficiently hawkish stance in the war on terror.

Well, speaking as a white dude, I can tell you that that’s all a bunch of hooey. We white guys don’t really give a shit about foreign policy or medicare reform or race relations, or any of that crap- we just wanna look at scantily-clad chicks. And the reason that so many of us have been defecting to the Republicans is that, unlike the GOP, the Democrats have yet to develop their own army of hussies who dress in skimpy outfits and spew partisan bile over the airwaves and on the Internets. I mean, just look at the right-wing skanks that the GOP has at its disposal:

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Michelle Needs Help (No, Literally)…

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AN ARMY OF TRANSLATORS NEEDED
By Michelle Malkin · March 16, 2006 12:19 PM

Hm. Bla, something-something, new Iraqi documents prove that there were WMD, wakka-wakka, Saddam had ties to Al-Qaeda, need translation, power of the right-blogosphere, honk, mew, bla.

This seems familiar. Where’d we hear this story before?

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Zeerp! “Hello, Dum-Dum.”
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Beat on Iraq With a Baseball Bat (Oh Yah)

Bomb Iraq!
by digby

Gosh, I get a kind of warm feeling remembering those good old days back in 2002, when we were all hunkered down around Atrios’ place, watching the metaphorical skies fill with fireworks. We even had our own campfire song:

If you’ve got no other reason, bomb Iraq (clap, clap)
If you’ve got no other reason, bomb Iraq (clap, clap)
If you’ve got no other reason, other than election season
If you’ve got no other reason, bomb Iraq (clap, clap)

Oh, bomb-bomb-bomb, bomb-bomb Iran,
Bomb-bomb-bomb, bomb-bomb Iran…

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Insert faces of neocons, media hacks, and/or prominent right-bloggers

You got me rockin’ and a-rollin’,
Rockin’ and a-reelin’,
Bomb Iran!
Bomb-bomb, bomb-bomb Iran…

 

What’s Wrong With the Democrats

First, go watch this Daily Show bit with Paul Hackett, then come back.

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*Time elapses, Brad makes himself a sandwich*

OK, are you guys back yet? Good.
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Dear Acme Company,

Please find enclosed Item #735-1011, “Giant Waffle Iron,” which I am returning because it is defective and dishonest and is bad and sucks, and I am very angry and covered in syrup, and my body is now shaped like a waffle.

Please send Item #013-9520, “Rocket-Powered Shopping Cart.”

I’ll get that Roadrunner this time.

Yours,
John Hinderaker

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“Russ Feingold Is A Traitor”

That’s the subject heading of an email sent out by Howard Dean earlier this afternoon–in quotation marks. So Dean is quoting someone, right? Wrong. His email begins:

That’s what Republicans want you to think.

So the “quote” is Dean’s.

So Hinderaker is quoting someone, right? Wrong. The word “quote” in “quotes” is Hinderaker’s. The blatant dishonesty bla bla something zoom oink unhinged fracka-fracka and this proves it, no backsies.

Here is the basis for it:

This week Republican Senator Wayne Allard of Colorado, in an interview with Fox News radio, said in response to Feingold’s action that he has “time and time again [sided] with the terrorists”.

Send a message to Senator Allard: shame on him for questioning the patriotism of another Senator. Sign this petition and it will be delivered to Allard:

It looks as though the Democrats are trying to deflect attention from their own embarrassment over Feingold’s blunder by changing the subject to purported attacks on Feingold’s patriotism. I wonder, though, what Allard actually said. Somehow, it makes me suspicious when Howard Dean quotes a fragment of a sentence, in which he himself supplied the verb. I haven’t been able to track down a transcript of Allard’s interview, or even a longer quote. Does anyone out there know what Allard said?
Posted by John at 01:54 PM

Sigh. Hey, Gazoogle… Oh Great Gazoogle

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Zeerp! “Hello, Dum-dum.”

 

Hey Floyd, the Schmidt girls called — you wanna catch a double-feature tonight (heh heh)…

When confronted with the Hitler remark, [Jean] Schmidt’s Chief of Staff Barry Bennett [denied] “that Schmidt made the comment, explaining that her twin sister, Jennifer Black, who was also mentioned in the paragraph, made the remark.”

Well, luckily this trick doesn’t always work.

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“It wasn’t me, it was Lamb!”
“No,
she’s Lamb!”
“Okay, I’m Lamb, but it wasn’t me, it was Lynx.”