Sadly, No!

Good news everyone — Grandpa Roberts is being repressed!

For the last 30 years, researchers have proven time and time again that women were at least as likely as men to commit acts of family violence. [www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm]

We’d encourage you to click on the old link so you can see the results, such as:

[T]he author reports that women are more likely than men to throw something at their partners, as well as slap, kick, bite, punch and hit with an object. Men were more likely than women to strangle, choke, or beat up their partners[.]

And clearly — if those womens are throwing paper clips, it’s just as dangerous as being choked. Besides, why not rely on a collection of university studies and instead believe U.S. Department of Justice Bureau of Justice Statistics?
Read the rest of this entry »

The future, Conan? Yes, the future:

On June 6th the U.S. Senate will vote on the constitutional amendment defining marriage as the union of one man and one woman.

And what will happen if the homos are not legally relegated to their proper place?

Once homosexual marriage is legal, our religious liberties will be stripped away. Even pro-homosexual marriage advocates agree with that statement.

Well, that’s quite an amazing statement. Let’s see which pro-homosexual marriage advocates have been recruited [he he] in support of this claim:

To understand how this will happen, please take time read Dr. Maggie Gallagher’s rather long and accurate article by clicking here.

Ah, Maggie!

Precisely because support for marriage is public policy, once marriage includes gay couples, groups who oppose gay marriage are likely to be judged in violation of public policy, triggering a host of negative consequences, including the loss of tax-exempt status.

Not the loss of tax-exempt status!

The public is not aware that the Democratic National Committee has given thousands of dollars to homosexual groups to help promote homosexual marriage.

Because if they were, then surely they would make sure Republicans control all three branches of the federal government.

Print it out and give a copy to your pastor!

Got it.

A very sad day indeed. A reader emails:

We blame Brad.

Must be some pretty tasty stuff they put in the White House water:

U.S. First lady Laura Bush said, on Sunday, that she does not believe opinion polls showing President Bush’s approval ratings touching its lowest point in his five-year presidency.

Why is that, Laura?

“I don’t really believe those polls….As I travel around the United States, I see a lot of appreciation for him. A lot of people come up to me and say, ‘Stay the course’,” she said.

Imagine that — only friendly people coming up to you:

A new provision tucked into the Patriot Act bill now before Congress would allow authorities to haul demonstrators at any “special event of national significance” away to jail on felony charges if they are caught breaching a security perimeter.

We bet even them foreigners love President Bush!

Papers here reported that the White House had demanded diplomatic immunity for American special agents in case they shot protesters, the installation of bullet-proof windows in Buckingham Palace, the right to patrol London’s airspace with US fighter jets and helicopter gunships, and a guarantee from Scotland Yard that protesters would be kept out of camera shot of the President. There was no walkabout à la Bill Clinton, no ride with the Queen in the traditional open carriage

Love the bizarro world:

Indeed, the Bush administration’s use of controlled audiences is so widely known that White House aides reportedly made a point of announcing that the audience at a recent public forum — at which Bush discussed his warrantless domestic spying program — was not composed exclusively of Republicans, and that questions posed to Bush were not scripted.

Remember, kids, 9-11!!!!!!!!!1!

“We’ve had a very, very difficult year, starting with the hurricane last September, but already because of the terrorist attack in 2001 and then the war on terror since then,” she said.

We are speechless. We are without speech.

Yes, we know.

Fresh off of Lance Mannion’s essay on swoopers and bashers (Vonnegut’s terms for light-skulled, quicksy writers and head-poundy sloggsy-perfection writers), I’m’umma swoop, although I’m by temperament a lifelong basher, a revision-er, a nothing’s-okayer.

I’m gonna talk about some things. I started doing SadNo! last year after being very frustrated trying to keep doing serious journalism. People, if I can put it in short form, wouldn’t believe me — and by ‘people’ I mean editors; and by ‘believe’ I mean mostly things that occured before and during the Kerry ’04 campaign, that are now settled facts. Details, of course, are available, but that’s not really what I’m going toward now.

So. See, one takes a second half-gig as a rude clown, out of anger — and now at this point I love and prefer this pediment to any other. But the mini-slotcar-loop tragedy is that I still see news items that I know empirically are wrong, and can’t say HOW I know they’re wrong — or, flipwise, find a story that I know is right, and can’t say how it’s right. It’s a schmagmire. A gnag-fragmire. I have sources I don’t mention. I often prefer to say nothing. Someone else usually gets it, in this amazing blogosphere of ours.

But one lives every day with the gnathobathism, the guh-narlies. The discomfort of being able to kick there (at the shins), and not there (in the balls).

That’s all. I had my little thing. Now, this Vox Day column.

One takes as a mission, and I know Brad and Seb do too, and Retardo — who’s new here, but sun-brilliant — and Travis (likewise), that one at least takes care of crap like this:

Of course that’s what they’re thinking. Of course that’s what they’re thinking. Is there any better referent? It’s all been circling toward such a thing, for so long.

Watch this and come back, despite the screen-shot it presents. This is the bleeding center of GOP racism, the heart-dish of wackos they’re appealing to. This is the gravity-pull of what they feel, that which the dog-whistle call of ‘illegal immigrants’ is standing in for at the moment.

This is where you end up, fellow Germans. After this year of 1922, perhaps, in which many possibilities are still before us, and many beams stacked which to cast under the wheels of locomotives, and many things to try and thoughts to think. (Arguments to make and positions to find.) And I’m not an immigration-leftist, as it happens. I believe in borders and a ramp toward citizenship as the numbers work out.

But it’s now, right now. And I’m hasty and fast-typing, but I’m’unna post this with a thoughtless finger-poke and there we go. This is the creamy voter-nougat under the candy shell. This is teh naked.

And here’s a great Jam video:

Holy crap:

He Had His Chance…

…and he blew it. He should have given the speech I told him to. As soon as he started talking about guest worker programs and the impossibility of deporting 11 million illegals, it was all over.

But wait! It’s about to get a whole lot funnier:

ditditdit…embargoed until Monday 8PM EST…I said it was an abstract of the Presidential speech that you ‘psychically’ knew was going to occur, you Minneapolis fart-torpedo!…ditditdit

I rode home from the airport in a taxi a few minutes ago. My driver, as is almost always the case in Minnesota, was an African immigrant. No sooner had I gotten into the cab than he began talking about the speech and railing against Bush on the theory that the President is anti-immigrant. I patiently tried to explain that President Bush is in trouble because he is not just pro-immigrant, but pro-illegal immigrant. I explained that he has argued for a guest worker program and a path to citizenship, and has said repeatedly that it would be impossible to deport all the illegals.

My cab driver was completely disoriented by this. I could tell he didn’t believe it. Like nearly all African cab drivers, he listens to public radio all day long. Twenty minutes with me wasn’t enough to overcome years of liberal indoctrination.

“Yeah, baby, just spend 20 minutes alone with the Hindrocket, and he’ll make you forget all. About. That skanky-assed liberal indoctrination. Yeah, sugar, the Hindrocket knows how much you neeeeeeeed that right-wing beef injection in ya BRAIN…”

Anyway, here’s the bottom line:

President Bush doesn’t have many chances left to salvage his second term. After tonight, he might not have any.

Wow. For some reason, a certain Bob Dylan song just popped into my head. Well, President Bush, you’ve just lost John Hinderaker. Your status as “lame duck” can no longer be questioned.

Here’s a quick round-up from right-wing blogs.

The Cornhole:

Where’s the Sweater? [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

Delivery feels a bit more Mr. Rogers than commander-in-chief. I mean we have an emergency—our borders are out of control and during a time of war. You don’t get that sense.

Get me Jack Bauer.

Read the rest of this entry »

Newsmax columnist John LeBoutillier on Bush’s upcoming immigration speech:

So, here is the thinking in this Bush White House: It is the conservatives who are blocking the immigration issue. So Bush will throw them a measly little bone: the illusion of beefed-up border security.

And that is all this is: an illusion. This is yet another phony, cosmetic Bush ploy to try to keep his base with him. Are true-blue conservatives so gullible as to fall for this?

Let’s find out, shall we? Here is the estimable Marie Jon’ of Renew America fame:

On Monday, President Bush will tell the country his plans to stem the tide of illegal aliens. His speech should be received as a victory by those who have worked diligently to sway the mind of our Commander-in-Chief. However, the naysayers are out there pitching their negative thoughts before the president is given a chance to speak. […] With President Bush addressing the nation about our borders and all the ramifications that we assume he will put forth, we don’t need all this unnecessary negativity. A number of conservative talk show hosts, only looking to improve their ratings, are adding to the uproar and showing a lack of respect for the president. Let’s leave the nasty talk to the likes of Air America Radio.

Never underestimate how gullible true-blue conservatives are, Mr. LeBoutillier. Any group of people who would willingly sign a George W. Bush loyalty oath just to watch Dick Cheney speak have some serious critical thinking deficiencies.

However, I will give Michelle Malkin credit on this one. She is indeed more loyal to wingnuttery than she is to the ever-dwindling Bush Cult.

I found this ad over at Powerline:

I’m very close to giving up on America ever becoming a normal country again.

Gavin adds: “Hey infidels, hey Boosh! I am squishing your head! I am squishing your head!”

Update: Well, how else are we supposed to stop that swarthy-looking guy from crushing all our heads? Posted by: Zenmasterw | May 15, 2006 04:10 PM

Cripes, you have to get up pretty early in the morning, etc.

God, what would we do without Newsmax?

President Bush’s job approval rating has jumped six points in the wake of a media barrage of criticism over his administration’s telephone records collection program.

A Harris Interactive poll published in The Wall Street Journal Online on Friday had Bush’s approval rating at an all time low – with just 29 percent of Americans saying they liked the way he was handling his job. […]

A Gallup survey released Friday yielded a similar result, with just 31 percent giving Bush a positive job approval rating.

A Newsweek survey released on Sunday, however, found that the president’s approval numbers had improved markedly, with 35 percent saying he was doing a good job.

I could point out that it’s stupid to take data from two seperate polls and claim that one poll represents a “boost” for Bush simply because it gives him higher ratings than an earlier poll taken by a completely different company. I could also point out that Bush’s popularity in the Newsweek poll has dropped since March and that Bush’s latest approval rating is the lowest ever recorded in a Newsweek poll. Finally, I could note that Newsmax presents no evidence to back up its claim that Bush’s mythical “bounce” has anything to do with the NSA’s telephone data mining program.

But that would involve putting in much more effort than I’m willing to exert, so I’ll just say “NEW MEDIA SUX, LOL!!!1!” and leave it at that.

UPDATE: The Heretik notes that Instapundit actually fell for the Newsmax story. Here’s the best part:

Dave Weigel emails that the story above is unreliable, comparing two polls with different methodology.

Heh. Indeed. Or you could have bothered to read the story for yourself before mindlessly linking to it, Glenn. Ouch!