Sadly, No!

Shorter David Frum:

Bush Isn’t Planning An ‘October Surprise’:

If the Democrats truly think that total sweetheart, Karl Rove, is planning an ‘October Surprise’, then they are both paranoid and hypocritical.

Then, an ‘I told you so’:

Dems are tormented by worry over the surprises that the fathomlessly brilliant but horrifically evil Dr. Rove has planned to deploy against poor innocent little them. Here’s my weekend column on why they are deceiving themselves. But then again – this column appeared before ABC News broke the Mark Foley scandal, after having held it two months … or just long enough to ensure that Foley’s name could not be replaced on the ballot. Maybe Democrats are not deceiving themselves, but rather everybody else.

[gagging sound] Haaack [gagging sound]. But let’s back up a bit. In the AEI/National Post piece, Frum argues that the Dems have it all wrong in thinking Bush and Rove are going to bomb-bomb-bomb Iran before the election. No they won’t, Frum argues with a sigh directed at the folly of not only the Democrats, but of the suddenly-appeasementy administration: they are very likely to cut a deal with Iran.

David Frum: Spreading the ‘Lion’s Share’ of bullshit again.

For Republicans and conservatives, there is an amazing audacity about these Democratic suspicions. The fact is that the most successful October surprise in any recent U.S. national election was carried off by Democrats, not Republicans.

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Oh, great. My area is full of brown recluses and black widows already, not to mention the coming fire ants and the dogs with the killer bees in their mouths who when they bark shoot bees at you. Ok, maybe not that last part, but anyway, now there’s another poisony creepy creature to worry about, making its way north:

JACKSON, Miss. – As if the West Nile-toting mosquito isn’t enough to worry Mississippians, add the poisonous Latrodectus geometricus to the state’s list of creepy-crawly creatures.

Dr. Jerome Goddard, entomologist with the Mississippi Department of Health, said the poisonous Brown Widow spider that is a cousin to the well-known Black Widow, is now calling the Mississippi Gulf Coast home.

“The tropical Brown Widow spider …. has recently been captured in many locations along the Mississippi Gulf Coast,” Goddard said in a news release Tuesday.

[…]

“I’ve gone down to the Gulf Coast several times and looked for myself,” he said. “They are, indeed, in many places.”

He said the spider probably made its way to Mississippi from Florida through commercial imports of plants, food, building materials, or furniture.

The brown widow, unlike the black widow, is not deathly poisonous, so would it be still be too mean-spirited of me to wish that one of them bites Jonah Goldberg on the ass?

I don’t wanna sound like an idiot or nuthin’, but I think invasive species kick ass!

I never thought I could ever give George Will a “heh-indeedy,” but this is one of the truest things I’ve ever read:

To Rush Limbaugh’s 20 million receptive listeners, Hastert, referring to Republicans as “we,” said:

“We have a story to tell, and the Democrats have — in my view have — put this thing forward to try to block us from telling the story. They’re trying to put us on defense.”

It is difficult to read that as other than an accusation: He seems to be not just confessing a coverup but also complaining that the coverup was undone by bad manners. Were it not for Democrats’ unsportsmanlike conduct in putting “this thing” forward, it would not be known and would not be disrupting Republicans’ storytelling. […]

After the 1936 election, in which President Franklin Roosevelt shellacked the Republican nominee in all but two states, a humorist wrote: “If the outcome of this election hasn’t taught you Republicans not to meddle in politics, I don’t know what will.” If, after the Foley episode — a maraschino cherry atop the Democrats’ delectable sundae of Republican miseries — the Democrats cannot gain 13 seats, they should go into another line of work.

Uh-yah. That pretty much sums it up. Time to go in for the kill, Dems. This election is yours.

Use this thread to post your thoughts on tonight’s season premeire of Lost. I’ll be posting mine below the fold, so as not to give away super-kewl secrets.

Also: by my count, we’ve raised $390 for Jim Webb’s Senate campaign so far. I know we can do better than that, so keep those donations rolling in. I know no one likes giving money away, but it’ll be so, so worth it to see Felix thrown out of office. GIVE, DAMMIT. And e-mail me at [email protected] when you do so I can keep track 🙂

And now, onto tonight’s episode of Lost…

“Dude, Brad says there’s gonna be, like spoilers below the fold, so don’t click there if you haven’t seen the show, ‘kay?”

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But I got no food, I got no time to go to the supermarket. (It’s not that I couldn’t make time, it’s more I get confused when I get there.)

Shorter Michael Medved: Atheists despise people of faith because we serve as a stark reminder that nonbelievers will spend eternity in hell. But we also make great neighbors!

Shorter Jerry Newberry: Downtown Kabul’s nearly as big a shithole as Manhattan, and is full of inhuman butchers who’d kill us all as surely as they kill their own.

Shorter Paul Greenberg: Would you like to read my impression of Inspector Clouseau?

Shorter Walter Williams: If black people were permitted to work for less than minimum wage, white people would be more likely to hire them.

Shorter Paul Weyrich: Former Sen. John Danforth is an elitist know-it-all who mocks people of faith while he’s sipping cocktails at the country club and plotting the demise of the Republican Party. He is also stupid.

Shorter Ben Shapiro: Republicans were wrong to shield Mark Foley, but Democrats have no moral authority to criticize them. After all, he was practicing what they preach!

Shorter Kathleen Parker: There’s plenty of blame to go around in the Mark Foley scandal, which is essentially bipartisan. Also, Democrats plan to install a woman as House Speaker.

Shorter Michelle Malkin: I blame no one for the actions of Congressional predators but the predators themselves, including lawmakers on both sides of the aisle who turned a blind eye to this disgusting behavior.

Shorter Terence Jeffrey: Bob Woodward discloses in his new book a “secret” report that shows violence is escalating in Iraq, but this report was released months ago. Who knows what other lies this book contains?

Shorter Linda Chavez: Whenever a Republican gets caught up in a sex scandal, he faces responsibilty and accepts the consequences. Democrats re-elect their sexual predators and give them standing ovations.

Shorter Brent Bozell III: Sure, what Mark Foley did is bad and all, but Democrats have committed a higher number of sex crimes. Especially Bill Clinton!

Shorter Tony Blankley: There are several reasons why Dennis Hastert should resign, including ethics.

Shorter Austin Bay: American intelligence officers should release every scrap of positive news they receive, even when it endangers sources, to balance negative press reports.

Shorter John Stossel: Now that DDT’s legal again, I’ll smear some on myself next time I go for a hike or enjoy a picnic lunch.

Shorter Rich Lowry: If anything, Democrats should like Rumsfeld, who’s thus far refused to obliterate Iraq at great political expense to the president.

Shorter Roger Schlesinger: I have some more advice about buying your own home.

Shorter Maggie Gallagher: Even if Democrats are making political hay from the Mark Foley scandal, I’ll vote for them if Dennis Hastert doesn’t resign.

Or, at least that’s how it’s supposed to come off. From Ace of Spades HQ:

Left Threatens To Out Homos
– Ace

Let’s see… we’re running on national security and the economy, they’re running on general anti-faggotry.

Good times.

No, he really said that. He’s really trying to float that idea.

But hold on; I think I finally understand the trick here. Ahem. [sprays throat spray]

Ace of Spades Threatens to Shower Babies with Blood and Asparagus Urine
– Gav

Ace of Spades, a Hezbollah contributor who killed his nude mother with an axe, vows violent spree of pee-sex with infants.

Good times.

Apparently, you just kind of say stuff not worrying whether it’s actually true or not. For the record, Ace has not recently to our knowledge made credible threats of spraying urine on babies, etc, et al. We also don’t hang out with him, so we don’t know if the constant, drunken ‘nigger’ remarks are actual or mere calumny. We heard the girl was dead when he got there.

Anyway, watch where he’s trying to go with this.

David Corn defends the outing of gay Republican staffers, though he says he doesn’t “fancy” doing so himself, and pretty much threatens gay GOPers to get right with gay “rights” or face the consequences.

Let’s be clear about one thing: the Mark Foley scandal is not about homosexuality. Some family value conservatives are suggesting it is. But anytime a gay Republican is outed by events, a dicey issue is raised: what about those GOPers who are gay and who serve a party that is anti-gay? Are they hypocrites, opportunists, or just confused individuals? Is it possible to support a party because you adhere to most of its tenets–even if that party refuses to recognize you as a full citizen? The men on The List might want to think hard about these questions–as they probably already have–for if I have a copy of The List, there’s a good chance it will be appearing soon on a website near everyone.

I don’t know of any “family values conservaties” suggesting the Mark Foley scandal is about homosexuality itself; if Corn has names in mind, perhaps he’d be so kind as to suggest them?

Confusion billows like a glaucous fog. What was that bit about David Corn actually about? But let’s see: Maybe we can find something on ‘family values consevatives’ in our purple Trapper Keeper with the glittery hearts and unicorn stickers on it.

FRONT ROYAL, Va., Oct. 4 /Christian Newswire/ — Jason Jones, director of public relations for Human Life International, issued the following statement regarding the resignation of former Rep. Mark Foley:

“There is never an acceptable excuse or rationale for the type of deviant behavior former Congressman Mark Foley has admitted to. Homosexuality is every bit a part of the culture of death as is abortion and contraception. Not surprisingly, Foley was an ardent supporter of both, representing the interests of Planned Parenthood 64 percent of the time thus far
in 2006.

“Homosexuality, like abortion and contraception, denigrates the intrinsic dignity of and respect for human life. Support of these actions breed a mindset where life becomes a commodity and the highest achievement is self-indulgence, which inevitably leads to the reckless behavior we are now witnessing. It was embrace of depravity that led Foley to abuse the power and authority of his office and prey upon young, underage Congressional pages.

“If his claim that he was the victim of sexual molestation by a clergyman, it only further proves that known homosexuals should not be admitted to the priesthood. Foley’s actions were that of homosexual predator, not a pedophile. Homosexuals reproduce sexually by molesting children. This creates a cycle of violence and disordered behavior that creates future generations of abusers and predators.

“This cycle must be broken if we are ever to protect our children. Foley should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law for his misdeeds, as should anyone guilty of perpetrating similar crimes on him as a teenager. Furthermore, any member of the
leadership who knowingly covered up this despicable behavior should resign or be removed from office.”

[Jeopardy theme] Hey Ace, what is ‘a search engine’?

Michael Medved on Alfred A. Knopf, a division of Random House:

Religion, madness and secular paranoia
Wednesday, October 4, 2006

Why would a major corporation invest big money in a gratuitous insult of millions of potential customers who, according to the company’s own figures, represent a clear majority of the American public?

[From Hubris and Socraticsilence, in comments.]

Welp, he did it.

We don’t want to be at the front of the line to link, but it won’t matter in a little while, so I’ll update soon with details.

UPDATE: He pulled the post, and now says (again) that he’ll release the information at 4PM.

DOUBLE-UPDATE: It’s back up. Waiting to see who links.

More Woodward stuff:

Later, with a Bush back in the White House, Bandar bullied the president into explicitly endorsing a two-state solution to the Israeli-conflict by threatening a total cutoff of Saudi support for U.S. policies. (Bush may never have played poker, but Bandar obviously has.) In another instance, the Saudi prince imperiously demanded — and, worse, obtained — two CIA officials to accompany him on a wild goose chase to Pakistan, where he hoped to kill Bin Laden. During a meeting in the Oval Office, according to Woodward, Bush personally thanked Bandar because the Saudis had flooded the world oil market and kept prices down in the run-up to the 2004 general election.

In those three sentences (not counting the parenthetical) is a dense and damning and altogether new indictment of Dear Leader. The first conclusively snuffs the silly claims of Bush’s alleged fairness to the Palestinians, something not infrequently peddled by that fool Christopher Hitchens and his mentor, that hack Paul Wolfowitz. The third sentence shows the extent of the filthy collusion of the Saudi Royal Family and the Republican Party — the Republican Don thanking his electoral hitmen for a job well done. But the second sentence, the one I’ve highlighted, is the one that really boggles my mind.

Bush really let Prince Bandar commandeer CIA agents to help him chase after Osama bin Laden? This, after Bush so fucked up apprehending bin Laden when there was a real chance of doing it?

…a number of al-Qaeda detainees later confirmed that bin Laden had escaped Tora Bora into Pakistan via an easternly route through snow covered mountains in the area of Parachinar, Pakistan. He also claims that bin Laden could have been captured if United States Central Command had committed the troops that Berntsen had requested. Former CIA agent Gary Schroen concurs with this view.[2] Pentagon documents seem to confirm this account.

It’s my belief that George W. Bush never really wanted to catch OBL — after all, the perpetual war game that gives him so much power would be much harder to play if Evil Doer #1 were captured or killed: if it happened, fine, if not.. so much the better. If Bush really let Prince Bandar (who probably does want to kill OBL) go on a wild goose chance, then, while using US assets, it was only because Bandar bulldogged him into it, and Bush thought the Prince’s hunt was unlikely to succeed anyway.

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From the Townhall Daily of about 45 seconds ago:

Michael Medved
Religion, Madness and Secular Paranoia

Why would a major corporation invest big money in a gratuitous insult of millions of potential customers who, according to the company’s own figures, represent a clear majority of the American public?

From Mediaweek, September 21st.:

Hannity to Pitch GM Car Give-Away
Katy Bachman

To stimulate consumer interest in its line of American-built cars, General Motors has turned to radio and Sean Hannity. Beginning Sept. 25, Hannity will serve as the spokesperson for GM’s You’re A Great American Car Give-Away, offering radio listeners the chance to pick and win one of five GM vehicles.

We’ll get our team of experts on it right away, Mr. Medved!