‘The Senator party’ vs. ‘The Governor party’
Above: Michael Medved is a film critic, best-selling author and nationally syndicated radio talk show host
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
I just got back from a thing, and was off the Internet for awhile, so what do you do with a drunken sailor? Apparently, you put him in the bilge and make him drink it! Because what’s this from our right-wing friend, Mr. A.O. Spades?
Okay, wait. I’m skipping over the part where Ace is all like, ‘Here’s the Google-cached version of [something] in case you think I’m deleting things,’ and also skipping about nine million words of wordy-words, like bang-bang! on the keyboard, as in: Worditty-word-word! Bangity-word! times one million, like infinite ants marching up and down your screen until you’re like, ‘Aaah!’
You can, you know, look at it here. I’m so not kidding: Go look at the erupting wordcano and be like, ‘Aaah!’
… So I wasn’t kidding, was I?
But okay, this has to do with the vagina post below, and here’s the:
Here’s the deal: There are a lot of (sadly) low-traffic leftie blogs that “monitor” me, like unhinged liberals “monitor” Rush Limbaugh, and enjoy taking statements out of context.
He’s doing that thing again where he talks about us and how we ruthlessly mock him, while avoiding mentioning us by name. So let’s eschew words altogether. …Although I’m probably failing to quote some good stuff about how we’re tiny and wee and feeble and traitors, and many more things such as that.
Above: Figure 1
Above: Figure 2
I’m just not going to say anything. We don’t post the award banners because that would be like, ‘Woo, look at us,’ when every day is pretty much a frickin’ winding road, as it were. But, you know, someone wins them. And it’s not Ace for humor!
posted by Ace at 04:20 PM
Toot!
Bush vetoes troop withdrawal bill
In only the second veto of his presidency, Bush rejected legislation pushed by Democratic leaders that would require the first U.S. combat troops to be withdrawn by Oct. 1 with a goal of a complete pullout six months later.
“This is a prescription for chaos and confusion and we must not impose it on our troops,” Bush said in a nationally broadcast statement from the White House. He said the bill would “mandate a rigid and artificial deadline” for troop pullouts, and “it makes no sense to tell the enemy when you plan to start withdrawing.”
Because if the funding bill were allowed to pass, it would turn Iraq chaotic and confused.
Can I borrow a dollar? Thanks. Veto. Hey, you owe me a dollar for that dollar I just vetoed you from lending me. Woot! [sour orchestral vamp]
Okay, I’m going to be honest and be the first here to admit that this was more fun when the Republicans held all three branches of government, and were running crazy-mad all over the place with no hope of accountability. That was frickin’ telling it to the man, man! These days, at times, it feels more like beating on a beached jellyfish with a baseball bat. How long can they live?
So wait. Also, besides killing all the troops, the Democrats are emboldening terror. Plus, according to all sources, George Tenet is now newly to blame for the unhinged and treasonous perception, which is not real, that Iraq was a bad idea. Which we distinctly did not order, with our game faces and pounding keyboard fists! Aiee!
It is someone’s fault — perhaps you and you and you. Also, the stinking Jews Muslims.
Wait, I mean Jews Muslims. No, wait. [checking the Internet] Muslims.
Anyway, happy May Day, which commemorates the eight-hour day and the weekend, brought to you at bloody cost by the American labor movement uh [ahem] Loyalty Day!
Actually, if I am not mistaken, that jellyfish needs much pounding to become tender. Pardon me for saying so.
Over at the premier journal of conservative thought, The National Review, Stephen “Little Horseshoes” Spruiell (media critic, trajectory: baffling) is making poor old Bill Buckley price a rotisserie attachment for his casket.
NYT: No More Parties
[Stephen Spruiell]In his column in yesterday’s New York Times (sub. req.), Frank Rich announced that the paper will no longer participate in the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner. E&P today confirms it, and writes that the paper will also stop attending the Gridiron Club dinner, a similar affair.
This strikes me as a very dumb overreaction to a perceived coziness between Washington reporters and their sources. What happens the next time a New York Times reporter is invited to a White House dinner, as David Sanger was last June? Are NYT reporters henceforth barred from attending any party or social function at which government officials are present, for fear that liberal bloggers might accuse them of being lapdogs again?
Burning questions indeed for the dumb and perceived-cozy liberal media! If only there were a way to…
[Zeerp] “Hello, dum-dums.”
Oh hi, Great Gazoogle. We were just wondering if. . .hey, what’s this?
New York Times and NYTimes.com Media Relations:
Diane McNulty
Executive Director,
Community Affairs & Media Relations
(212) 556-5244
To be fair, maybe they didn’t teach the finding-out thing in right-wing journalism school, because it’s more productive on a deadline basis (Spruiell sometimes churns out two or more posts per day, sometimes with entire paragraphs in them) just to make up silly questions and concoct fake stories, archly being like, “Duh, dime dupid,” whilst trusting that one’s readers are even dupider.
By implying that there’s something improper about such hobnobbing, the Times brass is setting its D.C. reporters up for all sorts of accusations, should they, God forbid, get caught having a drink with a friend who works for the government.
Yikes! Because indeed, it can be embarrassing when one is caught having drinks with friends.
Above: Spruiell gets his freak on
Update 3:17pm EST:
[ring ring]
“Hello?”
“Hi, Gavin. It’s Diane McNulty of the Times.”
“Oh, hi. Thanks for calling back.”
“You were wondering whether Times reporters are barred from all…”
“Yes, hold on; let me pull my notes up.”
“Well, the answer is very short.”
“Ah. I thought that it might be.”
“The answer is no.”
“Thank you!”
“You’re welcome.”
[click]
Above: Talent on loan from Blockbuster Video
Mark Noonan is an astute observer of political dynamics:
[T]he program we’re following is doubly unpopular: both those who want a more aggressive approach and those who prefer a more passive program are both in opposition – and thus support for the President’s policy in Iraq hovers around 35% of likely voters. With 35% you can still do a lot, especially when the other 65% is split between defeatists and “kill ’em all”.
[Gavin adds: Um, split between what, now? This dramatically new ‘kill ’em all’ data is apparently from a recent Noonan poll of Likely Noonans, in which the methodology seems somewhat traumatized by an over-polling of stuffed animals and Invisible Underwear Fairies.]
For a second I thought he was talking about that band that sings “Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect” and Metallica. Alas. Welp, lemme take off my shoes and socks and count this up here: 65 divided by two … carry the thumb … numerate the pinky toe … and drat! Less than 35 percent? Advantage: dead-enders. Foiled again!
With 35%, you’ve got a pool of more than 100 million Americans to draw from, and thus with about 10 million military-aged males, no problem maintaining troop levels in a military force approaching 2 million strong. But with only 35%, you’ve also got the problem of not having either a majority or at least a plurality in favor of your plan, and that allows the opportunists their opening.
It warrants mentioning that you’ve got the additional problem that a substantial portion of that particular pool of military-aged males sincerely believes their stateside rhetorical shenanigans and getting a good grade in Crim Pro are fine and noble substitutes for actual military — Oh my God, I just realized he considers himself a centrist on Iraq. Too, too much, man.
Yep, we invaded their country, and look at how well it’s turned out for them (my emphasis):
The number of terrorism incidents in Iraq — and resulting deaths, injuries and kidnappings — skyrocketed from 2005 to 2006, according to statistics released by U.S. counterterrorism officials yesterday.
Of the 14,338 reported terrorist attacks worldwide last year, 45 percent took place in Iraq, and 65 percent of the global fatalities stemming from terrorism occurred in Iraq. In 2005, Iraq accounted for 30 percent of the worldwide terrorist attacks.
But there has to be a silver lining, right?
Almost all of those incidents involved the death, injury or kidnapping of at least one person. All told, the number of people killed, injured or kidnapped as a result of terrorism in Iraq jumped 87 percent, from 20,685 to 38,713.
The State Department’s annual report — which included an assessment of the five years since the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks — said the invasion of Iraq has brought “measurable benefits,” including the removal of “an abusive totalitarian regime with a history of sponsoring and supporting regional terrorism.”
And with Saddam gone, we’ve now handed the country over to… what, exactly? Is anyone or anything really “in charge” of Iraq right now? You’ve got Sunni insurgents who’re pissed off that they’re no longer top dog. You’ve got Shiite death squads who are out to kill off the Sunnis. You’ve got random jihadis roaming the place, blowing up markets and beheading hostages. You’ve probably got a billion little different militias who provide security to different ethnic neighborhoods. The result of this is that you’ve got a country that contains 65 percent of the global fatalities stemming from terrorism.
Heckuva job, assholes. Heckuva goddamn job.
Gregory Koukl, at TownHall today: For the good of everyone, religious people must involve themselves in politics.
Biblical teaching is clear: God intends government to use law to enforce morality…(i)f the Church doesn’t stand in the gap giving substance to the words “goodâ€? and “evil,â€? then nothing prevents leadership from reversing the definitions, praising evil and punishing good. Tragically, this is already happening…
The current understanding of separation of church and state—the view that the state is thoroughly secular and not influenced by religious values, especially Christian ones—was completely foreign to the first 150 years of American political thought…
Christian author Philip Yancey writes, “We have no mandate to ‘Christianize’ the United States—an impossible goal in any case. Yet Christians can work simultaneously toward a different goal, the ‘moralization’ of society…’
Frank Gaffney, at TownHall today: For the good of everyone, religious people must stay out of politics.
Observant Muslims who dare to challenge the Islamists over ideological agendas pursued in the name of religion are shown being subjected to ostracism, intense coercion to conform and, in some cases, death threats. As long as these anti-Islamist Muslims are rightly seen as isolated, vulnerable and powerless, it would be foolish to believe that many of their co-religionists will want to emulate them…
The success of organizations supportive of the Islamists and of their efforts to exploit real or perceived Muslim grievances and civil liberties to create “parallel societiesâ€? in Western democracies will, inevitably, attract more adherents to the former’s ranks…
After all, the anti-Islamist Muslims and conservatives are not the only ones in the Islamofascists’ cross-hairs. Homosexuals, women and Jews are among those whose lives will be made miserable, or simply be prematurely terminated, in the new world order the Islamists have in mind…
David Limbaugh, at TownHall today: We must focus on the real issues and not let ourselves be distracted by bogus red herrings.
The entire WMD issue has been a Democratic diversion from the get-go. It has allowed Democrats immeasurable cover for their irresponsible absence of policy on Iraq and has provided endless fodder for their libelous claims against the administration…
Democrats have had no policy since 9/11 began, other than to try to poke holes in the administration’s policies and actions — and to inflame the passions of the electoral “jury” against the Bush Administration and the Iraq War….
Are Democrats willing to commit to the position that they would not have attacked Iraq and that the world would be a safer place with Saddam still in power? If so, they should be forced to face the consequences of that position, as cogently illuminated by National Review Online’s Andrew McCarthy: “a Saddam Hussein, emboldened from having faced down the United States and its sanctions, loaded with money, arming with WMDs, and coddling jihadists.”
Pat Buchanan, at TownHall today: We must focus on bogus red herrings and not let ourselves be distracted by the real issues.
Almost no attention has been paid to the fact that Cho Seung-Hui was not an American at all, but an immigrant, an alien. Had this deranged young man who secretly hated us never come here, 32 people would heading home from Blacksburg for summer vacation. What was Cho doing here? How did he get in?…
In stories about him, we learn he had no friends, rarely spoke, and was a loner, isolated from classmates and roommates. Cho was the alien in Hokie Nation. And to vent his rage at those with whom he could not communicate, he decided to kill in cold blood dozens of us. What happened in Blacksburg cannot be divorced from what’s been happening to America since the immigration act brought tens of millions of strangers to these shores, even as the old bonds of national community began to disintegrate and dissolve in the social revolutions of the 1960s…
Many immigrants do not assimilate. Many do not wish to. They seek community in their separate subdivisions of our multicultural, multiracial, multiethnic, multilingual mammoth mall of a nation. And in numbers higher than our native born, some are going berserk here.
Even If Entering Iraq Was a Mistake, Leaving Is Worse
Above: Peterson Field Guide® often useful in distinguishing Prager from Hugh Hewitt
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
Thanks for your service in Vietnam. Thanks to all the men and women who’ve served the country in war and in peace. All of this is apropos of nothing but the notion that this doesn’t get said enough in the course of our perpetual piss-take on the perps who get us into those wars, who don’t believe in the peace.
And, Mikey, I gotta tell ya … Warriors. Baron. J-Rich. Nellie. Best goddam playoff basketball I’ve seen in a long, long time. Probably have to go back to Bulls-Suns or even the old Celtics-Lakers tilts for this kind of fun. This is better than Run TMC, better than Sleepy and Terry Teagle and Larry Smith, better than Phil Smith and World B. Free. It’s early and there’s a lot of playoffs to get through, but I might put this Warriors team up there with ’75 when it’s all said and done.
It’s like I’m a kid again … getting all excited watching these games … pretending to shoot jumpers and execute reverse dunks in my living room (Sunday) or the bar (the other games) … it’s been a helluva ride … can’t wait ’til tomorrow’s game.
Above: Has extensive collection of letters never sent
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.