Sadly, No!

Teh awesome:

For sane people, Bush’s destruction of the known world has put some dents in this mindless narrative, in which we’re asked to select our president based on who was dumber in high school—based on who we think would be fun to drink beer with. But the world is full of people like Garrigan, people who live to recommend presidents because they were “underachievers� and “clowns.� And at its upper end, the press corps is full of people like Susan Glasser, the appalling Gore-trasher—and now, Outlook editor—who keeps putting this absolute nonsense in print even after the downfall of Bush.

Even now, after Bush has destroyed the known world, the Washington Post still likes to tell readers: You should pick the hopeful who seems to be fun. Readers, please: Just vote for Stupid!

Whole thing, read the.

I just bought an XBox, so I’ve generally lost interest in political discourse that doesn’t involve hitting a zombie in the face with a TV set. So I can’t comment on, for example, this piece over at Big Boy Jammies. Having lost Crazy Pammy to the vagaries of ad rates, Rog and Chuck have unearthed a slightly less famous Reverend Moon, who tends a flock in Mexico City and misuses big words in an attempt to blame America’s failure to take the sinister nature of ragheads seriously enough on hippies, donuts and rap music. But how can I be expected to care about this dimwit when the living dead are running rampant in Willamette, CO?

Still, a few things manage to seep into my consciousness during potty breaks. For example, there’s Dinesh D’Souza. Having given this sex-with-Ann-Coulter-having foreigner pride of place in their wingnut cosmology, certain elements of the tidy righties are finding it difficult to look away when he says things that border on outright blasphemy. First he ran around saying that we have to clamp down in our sinful culture because it’s pissing off the imams, and now, in a piece stingingly entitled “A Canadian Philosopher Worth Reading” (take that, Northrop Frye, Mario Bunge and Ted Honderich!), the D’Souzaphone dares to express pleasure at the awarding of a Templeton Prize to a man who doesn’t think Bill Clinton is the Antichrist!

Above: “I’d hit that” — Ann Coulter
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Shorter Max Boot: The fact that Iraqi members of parliament take absurdly long vacations and make all of their deals in smoke-filled rooms away from the public’s view is the strongest evidence yet that they’re turning into an American-style democracy.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

You know, if I really hated America, I’d be supporting George W. Bush for a third term in office. Take a look at what David Ignatius says the Bushies are cooking up in Wingnut Kitchen:

Above: Bush’s post-surge plan, diagrammed.

President Bush and his senior military and foreign policy advisers are beginning to discuss a “post-surge” strategy for Iraq that they hope could gain bipartisan political support. The new policy would focus on training and advising Iraqi troops rather than the broader goal of achieving a political reconciliation in Iraq, which senior officials recognize may be unachievable within the time available.

The revamped policy, as outlined by senior administration officials, would be premised on the idea that, as the current surge of U.S. troops succeeds in reducing sectarian violence, America’s role will be increasingly to help prepare the Iraqi military to take greater responsibility for securing the country.

“Sectarian violence is not a problem we can fix,” said one senior official. “The Iraqi government needs to show that it can take control of the capital.” U.S. officials offer a somber evaluation of Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki: His Shiite-dominated government is weak and sectarian, but they have concluded that, going forward, there is no practical alternative.

Chillens, I want you to put on your thinkin’ caps and dissect the logic behind these statements:

1.) We’re giving up on political reconciliation between the Sunnis and Shiites.

2.) Instead, we’re going to focus on helping Maliki’s “Shiite-dominated” “sectarian” government “take control of the capital,” with the end goal of helping them “take greater responsibility for securing the country.”

And yet…

3.) “Sectarian violence is not a problem we can fix.”

So, ladies’n’gents, how do you suppose the sectarian, Shiite-dominated government will go about “securing the country?” Ding! You got it! Ethnic cleansing!

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Curses, part 2

This afternoon I sat in on the McCain blogger conference call at the kind invitation of Patrick Hynes. John Hinderaker was also on the call, along with Ann Althouse, Ed Morrissey, James Joyner, NRO’s Stephen Spruiell (and here), and the New York Sun’s Ryan Sager, among others (links are to comments on the call).

Recorded voice: “To join this conference, please input the code number now.”

[touch-tones]

Althouse: “…because I actually like the green ones better. They make my feet look cute.”

McCain: “Uh-huh.”

Hinderaker: “Senator, even the liberal MSM can no longer deny the links between Iraq and Al Qaeda, due to recent Al Qaeda activity in Iraq. Would you say that the failure, on the part of the left, to disprove the existence of WMDs improves the case for war with Iran, or with Syria?”

McCain, “Well, it… Um, the…”

Sager: “Whoah, whoah, let’s have something the Wal-Mart voters can understand. Senator, as a war hero and a maverick, what’s your position on Mexican people?”

Althouse: “I don’t like their version of rap, with the boom-cha-cha beat. It has only one boom, and two chas! The Arabs listen to it too, I think. Or maybe theirs has two booms and a cha.”

Spruiell: “Wow, we’re really allowed to just talk to people on the phone? Won’t Newsbusters be mad we’re, like, going over their heads?”

McCain: “To answer your question on immigration, um, Mister…”

Sager: “Sager, Ryan Sager.”

Althouse: “Answer fast: What’s your favorite show, Galactica or 24?”

Sager: “Who, me? What does that have to do with…”

Althouse: “I find it so inconsiderate and dishonest that you pretend I’m addressing you when it’s obvious who I’m addressing! I will not tolerate any intentionally hostile…”

Pamela Oshry: “Hey baby, is this the AIPAC conference call? Ew, it’s Althouse, I musta dialed tha…”

Althouse: “…interruptions! Wait, who was that?”

Hinderaker: “Senator, since ‘torture’ is defined as the causing of pain for its own sake, is it not impossible for a properly-conducted interrogation to fit such a definition — given that the object is to gain information? That is, is not the object rather to cause as little pain as possible?”

Morrissey: “Talk slower, I’m taking notes.”

Althouse: “Who was that before? Was that a woman?”

McCain: “Um, the immigration bill…”

Joyner: “Senator, I believe my position on immigration is, at a high level, similar to yours. Let me explain it and you can tell me if you agree.”

Spruiell: “Senator, can Americans shoot illegal Mexicans? If someone puts that in the bill, I mean?”

Morrissey: “Wouldn’t shooting the Mexicans mean paying more taxes? I’m a taxpayer, and I think the Mexicans should pay more taxes.”

Johnson: “Ha ha! With a varmint gun! Arriba, andele!”

Sager: “Mitt Romney likes to claim he’s a hunter — I wonder if he…”

Johnson: “Ha ha! Like those guys outside mowing the lawn!”

Althouse: “How do you know they’re Mexicans, Scott? Maybe they’re Guatemalans. I like the jewelry that comes from the…”

Johnson: “Ping! K-pew! Ay, dios mio!”

Hynes: “Peeow! Ping! Carramba, hyuu got me, amigo!”

Hinderaker: “Senator, as a war hero, were any of your captors beautiful Asian women? Because the current Miss Thailand is really something else, and I imagine there must have been some…”

McCain: OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! FINE, SURE: MITT ROMNEY CAN SHOOT FRICKIN’ GUATEMALANS OFF HIS LAWN WITH A VARMINT GUN, ALRIGHT? JESUS! WHATEVER!

Hynes: [takes notes]

Joyner: “Whoah!” [takes notes]

Hinderaker: [takes notes]

Sager: “I’ve got audio.”

Althouse: [takes notes]

Spruiell: “When someone says something, can you just report it, or do you have to wait until it’s on another blog?”

Morrissey: “Uh, wait, Senator — what about my taxes?”

Andrew Sullivan has been starting to notice that Instapundit is. . .well, not precisely a fascist, but sort of like a nationalist Libertarian who doesn’t much care for civil liberties — one who keeps advancing a notion (for instance) that our Generational War against the International Jewish Muslim Conspiracy requires that the government be empowered to ‘disappear’ and torture citizens without judicial review, according to the fiat of a powerful and unaccountable leader.

In other words, he seems to be what you’d call a small-‘l’ libertarian, because he supports drug legalization and so forth.

Above: Sullivan reaching an insight

Insta-Spin

[…]

We all have a different blogging styles and, to be fair to Instapundit, his brief, often opaque one-liners can be misleading. But a long look at his archives will reveal the pattern [of right-wing advocacy that] my reader detects. Make your own mind up. My own view is that he holds consistently libertarian views, unless they offend the Republican base, in which case he stays quiet or targets Base enemies. Maybe if he weren’t so talented, smart and sharp, these things would not matter to many readers. But after a while, you feel like you’re being taken for a spin, not a journey. Thousands of others, it should be noted, strongly disagree – and vote with their mouse-clicks.

It’s unfortunate that the Neuer Vorwärts doesn’t have an archive online, because I’ll just bet you there was some columnist in there who was like, “Dude, those guys at Der Stürmer are a total bunch of Nazis,” and another more sensible columnist like Sullivan, who was all like, “Whoah, man, Godwin’s Law. They seem to hold consistently democratic views, unless it offends the National Socialist base, in which case they stay quiet or target Base enemies.”

Mr. Sullivan, the question is no longer whether Glenn Reynolds espouses views that could impolitely, but accurately, be called fascist, but rather how long it will take before a sensible commentator uses that word to describe them.

Perhaps one could start slowly.

Glenn Reynolds is f. . .uchsia-faced.

Glenn Reynolds is fa. . .tuous in excelsis.

Glenn Reynolds is fas. . .tidiously obdurate.

Glenn Reynolds is fasc. . .inatingly ambiguous.

We have one of those big, brown Websters upstairs if you need a couple more of these. We don’t even mind going up and getting it, even though it’s really heavy and has a fragile binding. One Love.

P.S. Michelle Malkin is a ra. . .y of sunshine.

She really is crazy, you know:

Above: There’s never a silence of the Pams*

Carpet Bomb Gaza Already

[…]

Condi refuses to be wrong. Refuses to acknowledge the cold brutal truth that Islamic Jihad intends to destroy Israel, Europe, the US ……….. all of it and it must be destroyed. Who are we to tell a nation she cannot defend herself against a mortal enemy? What has happened to America? Common sense dictates that in any war between the civilized man and the savage, you always side with the civilized man.

[…]

And while Israel may congratulate herself on her “polite” warfare – only targeting this murderer or that beheader — it is essentially ineffective. You cannot tit for tat. You must destroy the enemy, an enemy that teaches their children to die killing Jews, Christians, non believers using Mickey Mouse, school texts, and music videos. The enemy that elected Hamas, brutal coldblooded murderers, as their elected government.

Carpet bombing. All is fair in love and war and these barbarians mean to kill us all. WTF are we waiting for? A nuclear Iran? Sure the world will go nuts on Israel, but so what?

[…]

In the words of the magnificent Ronald Reagan, carpet bombing begins in 5 minutes. This declaration of war must be met with overwhelming force if Israel hopes to survive.

* Now may not be the best time to inform you that there’s a Pammy clone, all the way down to the JDL rhetoric and Ayn Rand worship.

[Shrieking Harpy link thanx to RZ in comments; image by Ricardo.]

This is the sort of news that inspires Larry, Brad (not our Brad R.), Tom, and their many clones to send out for celebratory bottles of Bollinger:

The White House now says the secret trade deal between a handful of Democratic congressional leaders and Bush administration officials will most likely not mean adding labor and environmental standards into the core text of trade agreements, but instead will mean merely unenforceable NAFTA-esque “side agreements” or even weaker “letters” of understanding. A group of House Democrats is responding to the secret deal by demanding a hearing on a resolution that would prevent Democratic leaders from bringing fast track to the floor of the House if a majority of Democrats oppose it. And the pundit attack machine pushing the deal is out in full force. “Journalists” Cokie and Steve Roberts say “Democrats can’t afford to listen to the labor movement” and Clinton administration free trade architect Gene Sperling praises Democratic dealmakers for triangulating against their own party.

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The Ole Perfesser gets a postcard from Michael Yon:

Above: Little thinks, in the field, yon red-cloaked clown. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Am still in Anbar and just went another day without hearing a single shot fired. Am out with a small group of Marines who live with a much larger group of Iraqis. I enjoy the Iraqi food more than the food at the dining facilities.

But it’s not as good as mom’s apple pie, of course!

All the villagers we got to talk with were very friendly. Kids wanted their photos taken, that sort of thing. They were not asking for candy and that was nice. There was a train track nearby (looked to be in very good condition), and a locomotive turned over on its side, derailed. I asked a man what happened, and he said that about four years ago, during the war, an “Ali Baba” (thief) tried to steal the train but ran head-on into another train! He said the police caught the Ali Baba and he has no idea what happened after that.

Visit Iraq, where even the train wrecks are delightfully amusing!

Marines are getting along well with the locals. They wave a lot, and stop to talk. If the rest of Iraq looked like this, we could all come home!

Also, one villager stopped and asked , “Would you like to come over for tea with the missus and me?”

They’re like cockroaches, you see, just waiting for you to turn out the lights so they can vote for dhimmitude!

Steyn: “They’re everywhere!1!!!”

[T]he correspondents who think that the disadvantage of “living in the shadows” is that you can’t vote might like to ponder this far from untypical story:

Hundreds Of Illegals Have Registered To Vote In Bexar County

[…]

Oh, and speaking of fun headlines:

Growing Number Of Hispanic Americans Converting To Islam

Gavin adds: Famous lookalikes, wingnut edition (slight return):