Sadly, No!

Like this one:

The usually-unspoken problem with the “download my brain” idea is that YOU STILL DIE. So you make a copy of yourself? Big deal! The copy laughs at you as your organs fail, then goes off and makes love to your spouse: this is progress?

I don’t hope to live forever, but I DO hope to live long enough for the aliens to show up. Maybe they’ll zap me into atoms, but I’ll be on top of the skyscraper with the exotic dancer, waving the “Welcome Aliens” flag. And if they’re not of the “Independence Day” variety, I’ll hitch a ride and never look back. I mean, where better to die beneath a naked girl avalanche than on the distant pleasure-planet of Orgasma-7?

Wurd.

Chuckles Johnson over at Killing an Arab has his bike shorts in a bunch. Why? Well, because that’s what he does. He sits around waiting for something, preferably involving a darkie, to cross his computer screen that he can be offended by.

The proximate cause of his recent valve-closing, however, was the reaction of local merchants in Belgium to an attention-whoring right-wing politician coming around to put up a street sign reading “NO JIHAD STREET”. (Apparently, they found it somewhat provocative and distasteful.) I can see what Chuckles is so mad about, though; you wouldn’t believe the hysterical reaction I got from the neighborhood association when I wanted to change the name of my street to “I’M AGAINST THIEVING, LAZY MEXICANS LANE”. What’s the big deal? I didn’t say I was against all Mexicans, just the thieving, lazy ones! Sheesh.

As is always the case with LGF, come for the racism and stay for the craziness: not a moment goes by that some commenter on their threads doesn’t say something nuts. Pick your favorite!

EDIT: I guess image-control-enthusiast Charles “Digg is Part of the IslamoNazi Conspiracy” Johnson has blocked the link, because the free exchange of ideas demands that no one make fun of him. Anyway, here it is, if you care:

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=25700_No_Jihad_Street#comments

Somebody told Mark Noonan about Pussycat Dolls:

I would like to ask the corporate bosses what they are thinking when they look at this garbage and say, “its a great idea”.

Why ask them? You’ve answered your own question in the previous paragraph:

[B]ack in my youth, I would have eaten this sort of thing up – hot looking chicks dressed up in brazen sexuality and singing songs suggestive of a willingness to get horizontal; oh, yeah!

Above: Democracy whiskey sexy

As prostitutes, pornographers and proprietors of ex-gay ministries have learned, it’s relatively easy to separate a horny person from his money:

At 15, however, I was not in full possession of a mature mind able to easily separate out fact from fantasy – at that age, I was reliant upon adults to understand that there are things they shouldn’t do to an impressionable mind, lest such an immature mind take the message at face value and go out and try to live an impossible, and possibly deadly (in the larger, theological sense of the word), life.

Don’t ever change, babe. Promise.

Neocons’ rejection of the rule of law extends to the personal level

[…]

Like Wolfowitz and Libby, poor Conrad Black is also a completely innocent victim of corrupt and hateful accusers. That’s why Jonah Goldberg said: “I am all in favor of defending Conrad Black.” David Frum has told us that Black is “brilliant and brave, generous and learned,” and regularly posts links to articles attacking his prosecutors. He recently promoted a lengthy defense of Black movingly entitled “The Tragedy of Conrad Black.”

Frum’s father-in-law, Peter Worthington (step-father of Frum’s wife, Danielle Crittenden) is so obsessed with the Black trial that he writes daily dispatches defending Black and attacking the prosecutors. He tells us that everything was just fine until overzealous prosecutors went after the innocent Black: “”the reality in the Hollinger case is that it was a thriving, viable company until the prosecutors took aim on Conrad Black.” Identically, Mark Steyn is live-blogging Black’s trial, mocking the prosecutors and its witnesses and vigorously arguing for Black’s innocence.

Now for the punchline:

Black Helped Frum Stay in the Black

[…]

I recently obtained financial records that showed that in late 2000 David Frum, the former speechwriter for President Bush, received monthly payments of $16,667 from Conrad Black’s Hollinger International. Black, the media magnate, is currently on trial for fraud and racketeering in Chicago. Prosecutors allege he used Hollinger as his personal “piggy bankâ€?[…]

$16,667 a month for ‘consulting fees’ — not a bad gig if you can get it, especially since there’s no evidence that the Hollinger ‘internet publication’ project that Frum supposedly worked on was ever for real:

The payments are also noteworthy because they are typical of the way that Black spent shareholder money on whatever suited his fancy. I asked a former Hollinger employee about Frum’s explanation of the payments. “If there was a good idea for an Internet publication that would make money, there’s no issue,� she replied. “The trouble for all of us was there were no business plans for any of these ‘internet investments.’

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This is something I just don’t understand:

There is no resting place for Ted Williams…

Williams, 83 when his heart stopped, was brought to the Alcor Life Extension Foundation July 5, 2002. For now, and likely for decades, perhaps forever, he remains housed in desert country, in a cookie-cutter, single-level commercial building nestled among dozens like it at the Scottsdale Airpark…

According to one expert, the day when the Williamses might be reunited could come later this century. For now, Ted and John Henry are among only 161 people worldwide — all but four of them stored in three US cryonic facilities — who await their rebirth in the deep-chilled state of cryostasis.

Former Alcor employee Ben Best, now president of the Cryonics Institute in Clinton Township, Mich., emphasized in a recent phone interview that little has changed in the science the last five years. Nonetheless, experts and devotees believe technological advances will have people such as Williams and his son back walking among us in the next 50-100 years.

“I’d say 100 years, maximum, but a lot of people believe it will never happen,” said Best. “Of course, if I believed that, I wouldn’t be doing this.”

Me no get.

I, for one, would like to die someday. Preferably not tomorrow, but by the time I’m wetting my pants and popping Cialis, I should be ready to go. And when I do, I hope that I die in a comical way that will provide some brief, fleeting amusement to the living. I’m thinking of just falling down a manhole or something- that could be pretty funny.

What say the rest of you?

Add Joseph “Behold My New Mustache!” Farah to the ranks of those who believe what’s missing in Iraq is a lot more violence:

I’m not talking about a little “surge” in military forces in Baghdad, mind you. I’m talking about taking the handcuffs off our troops. I’m talking about Jack Bauer-style interrogations of captured enemy combatants. I’m talking about carpet-bombing the rug makers in Persia who are manufacturing the explosive devices killing out troops. I’m talking about getting our hands dirty to achieve victory.

Maybe the US can sprinkle a little Agent Orange as well. (No no, not Brent Bozell. Not Rusty Staub either.) Getting our (!?!) hands dirty? Carpet bombing? Have you driven a Kissinger lately?

* Turns out we’d used that first one before…

Yay! It came true!

So Powerline turned 5 today. Dean Barnett gushes: “… John, Paul, and Scott pioneered a new form of journalism.”

Not to be outdone, Hugh Hewitt commenter Doc has this to say:

Powerliners are Modern Day Ben Franklins

The Powerline Guys are not Bloggers, the coined term for People who have a Web Log. They remind me of the Franklin Brothers, James and his apprentice brother Benjamin(under the pseudonym Silence Dogood) who were the Founders of The New England Courant. This was truly the first Colonial Paper after Benjamin Harris’ “Publick Occurrences Both Forreign and Domestick”, was suppressed in 1690 after only one issue under a 1662 Massachusetts law that forbade printing without a license. This is exactly what the Liberals in Congress, Dinosaur Networks and Paper Media Giants want to do to New Media types like the Three Scholars of Powerline. Dean Barnett is right, Blogging does not adequately describe this Trio of Renaissance Franklinesque men. Powerline is New Media’s “Pennsylvania Gazette”, the News Paper Benjamin Franklin took over and transformed into an the Journalistic Catalyst that helped the Colonies unite against the Crown and gave voice to the quest for freedom from Government and provided a vessel that helped create our system of Government by and for the People which the old guard would like to limit like the Crown did with the First Newspaper killed after its first Publication. Ben Franklin could not be stopped and nether this Trio of smart, well informed, capable and fearless Musketeers of New Media whose Journalistic lines are giving Powder back to us the American People..Congratulations and Thank you all for your hard work and inspiration to us “web loggers” to write and contribute to what Hugh Hewitt succinctly describes the New Information Reformation. Felicitations and continued success and praise for your amazing work which is much more in line and reminiscent of American Journalistic Tradition founded by the great Ben Franklin in contrast to that of the Old Media and its minions……

Kudos and Felicitations..Doc! Gobsmacking putridity does not adequately describe the Unlettered Slab of sycophantic doggerel You have penned! The laughable Notion that John Hinderaker et. al. would NOT have been Tories had they dwelled in Boston circa 1690…………………fills My Bodkins with Mirthful Spasms of Involuntary Flatulence!

Truly, Sir……….You are a fearless Assketeer of New Media!

Dear Richard Cohen,

How stupid was your latest column? So stupid that none other than DoughBob LoadPants thinks you’re onto something:

Bush, The Liberal [Jonah Goldberg]

Richard Cohen discovers something some of us on the right have been saying for a while: if you hold your head just so and look at Bush from the right angle, he looks an awful lot like a liberal.

Thanks, Richard. You’ve just provided “respectable” intellectual cover for one of the stupidest people in the entire world. I hope you’re proud.

Apparently feeling a little giddy after the three-day weekend, the Corner Boys over at NRO are really pulling out the stops today. First of all, respected journalist Michael Ledeen files this report based on a letter from a friend of a friend of a reader who lives in Canada — so you wouldn’t know her — who swears that Richard Gere put a gerbil in his hiney in Texas, angels come down from heaven and hand out free caramels at the funerals of soldiers. I live in Texas and can easily refute the piece’s title (“Texas is a Better Place,” which is really only true if you are an executioner), but the really curious part of it is this line from the relentlessly truthful Ledeen:

In many places around the country, members of the Sheehan-Reid-Obama-Clinton cult disrupt military funerals, but I doubt they would attempt to perform their disgusting ritual in a fine place as described here.

Huh! Well, I certainly can’t remember Cindy Sheehan, Harry Reid, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton or any other leading liberals or Democrats disrupting a military funeral, but unfortunately there’s no way to check on…

[Zeerp] “Hello, dum-dums.�

Hey, it’s the Great Gazoogle! Say, I wonder if he could help us find out who’s disrupting military funerals.

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Glenn Greenwald is a one-man anti-wingnut wrecking ball.

Discuss.