Sadly, No!

The latest social and political commentary from Jonah Goldberg (via Roy):

Grown women read idiotic magazines, obsess over maintaining a teenager’s body, and follow the exploits of Lindsay Lohan. […] Consider that in the old days, “Marcus Welby” and “Ben Casey” were the ideal:

Ah, the 1970s, the good old days when women read Good Housekeeping so they could read about the Vietnam War, Nixon’s 8-Track Tape Party and Henry Kissinger’s Peace Prize awarded by the Amputee Children of Cambodia. Along with this stuff, of course:

How to stretch fashion dollars

Cher tells all about Cher

10 pages: great sewing, crocheting, knitting

Warren Beatty: The public image, the private man –

quick and easy to make summer suppers –

15 pages great fashions to buy, sew and crochet.

Jonah continues:
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What If?

Above: How to Talk to a Fire Demon of Jotunheim (If You Must)

What would be the press reaction—if George Bush announced that he wanted to invade nuclear Islamic Pakistan?

That’s a good question! What would be the press reaction if he announced he wanted to invade nuclear Islamic Iraq?

Or if he addressed a group of African-Americans and adopted a fake-black accent as if implying all spoke with flawed Southern-accented grammar?

That’s a great question! What about if he played guitar while an American city vanished, as if implying he doesn’t care about black people?

Or if he went to a Daily Kos convention and praised lobbysts [sic]?

That’s a fine question! What about if he went to a racist university and let lobbyists do pretty much whatever they wanted to?

Or if he told a reporter that he hated a congressman?

That’s a swell question! What about if he called a reporter a major-league asshole?

Or if he said that our soldiers in Guantanamo reminded him of Nazis, Stalinists, and genocid [sic] [?]

That’s a terrific question! What about if he said that Democrats were like Hitler?

Or he said that Abu Ghraib was about the same as when Saddam’s murderers ran it?

That’s a super question! What about if he said that Iraq had something to do with 9/11, and then said that it didn’t, and then said that it did?

Or if he said another Congressman reminded him of Hitler?

That’s a boss question! What about if he constantly said everyone who disagreed with him was evil?

Or he lost his temper and began yelling at Fox’s Chris Wallace?

That’s an awesome question! What about if he told a reporter he was a fucking son of a bitch in front of his wife and four-year-old child?

I guess these are the sort of questions to which we will simply never know the answers.

Just say no to socialized biggest health care moment in 40 years

Above: Marie Jon’

• If Hillary Clinton like’s health care so much, why does’nt she start with, her big fat thunderbutt?!

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

* Meow-meowing (v.t.): To decry the political treachery of another woman’s body. Ann Althouse scowled hilariously upon being reminded of her meow-meowing of Jessica Valenti. –Big Kahuna Burger

[Hanx! Marita]

…Day 1.

Some choose virginity, some have it thrust upon them — and unfortunately, some then turn it around and thrust it upon others at Young Republican events:

Michigan Young Republican pleads guilty in sex case

The former head of the Michigan Federation of Young Republicans admitted today that he sexually abused a colleague during a national convention here last summer.

Michael Flory, a 32-year-old attorney from Jackson, Mich., pleaded guilty to sexual battery on the day he was to stand trial for rape.

Above: Why do they all have this exact facial hair?

The plea bargain, [the prosecutor] said, doesn’t include any suggestion of leniency, and the state will seek incarceration. She also said she hopes to present evidence of several “other incidents of sexual misconduct” in which Flory took advantage of vulnerable young women.

“Oh whew,” Republicans are saying, “I thought it was another closeted-gay sex crime. People might’ve started to think there was something psychologically wrong with us.”

The victim, who is 22, declined to speak after Flory’s guilty plea.

She and some supporters lamented when the incident became public last winter that Flory and his followers within the Republican organization had been smearing her reputation in retaliation for accusing Flory of rape. [Prosecutor] Skutnik said she found that to be true.

Who would imagine that Republicans would do such a thing.

“People were using every opportunity to try to trash her, on Web sites or whatever,” the prosecutor said. “He’s been running around telling everybody what a piece of trash she is, so she was very happy to see him plead guilty.”

Why, we’re beginning to suspect that ‘trashing’ and ‘smearing’ are what right-wingers reflexively do when they’re guilty of something.

As Brad has learned all too well, auto-related crimes are also on the rise:

‘CAR-SCAM’ LINK EYED

Detectives are investigating possible links between the men accused of gunning down two Brooklyn cops and an alleged million-dollar scam at a Long Island auto dealership.

While probing the murder of car salesman Collin Thomas outside the showroom of Universal Auto World in Lawrence, L.I., in January, cops unraveled what they said was a massive scam at the dealership.

[…]

As part of the homicide probe, Nassau County police raided the dealership, owned by auto czar Michael Oshry, and Oshry’s Hewlett Harbor home and seized business records.

Cops found banking records were sent to the house, though the state requires such files be kept at businesses, according to court papers filed in a civil forfeiture action by the Nassau district attorney.

“The dealership knew what was going on,” an investigator said.

Oshry’s lawyer, William Petrillo, said his client “has not engaged in any criminal activity.”

His ex-wife, Pamela Geller, former associate publisher of the New York Observer and a conservative blogger, burst into tears when told her ex is under criminal investigation.

Although listed in business records as a Universal co-owner, she denied it. “I have nothing to do with this,” Geller said.

Above: “Yull nevah prove nuthin’, ya frickin’ Muzzie camel-humpah!”

Angry, profane-filled rant below the fold.

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If you encounter Jillian in the comments, be sure to give her a cyber-hug. I won’t go into details, but she’s had a rough week. That is all 🙂

D. Aristophanes adds:

Manhattan. August 8, 2077. In a world where leftards and the weather conspire to conceal the invisible threat of jihadi menace that lurks in the darkened corners of every crevice. . .one woman must brave the terrors of the Long Island Expressway to expose a city gone mad with bright colors and flashing lights. Pamela Geller Oshry stars as Pam Atlas in the one summer blogbuster you. just. can’t. afford. to. miss:

CRACK TO THE FUTURE!

WATCH! as meth-addled suburban hausfrau Pam Atlas bursts the bonds of Nesconset kept-trophyhood and ventures to a once-proud metropolis known in this dystopian future as. . .the Big Appease-le!

SEE! the compromised cops of a corrupt and crooked city block her every attempt to discover the only thing that can save the country she loves: THE TROOF!

MARVEL! as our heroine journeys through a dangerous dhimmi underworld populated by minimum-wage service workers and other random sane people!

THRILL! to the gun-blazing action as the vixen who put the ‘Lik’ in Likudnik blasts her way to freedom, justice and the Central Islip Bed, Bath & Beyond!

Over at HotAir, Comrade Preston is getting jittery about the China thing.

Above: Sum dum gai

China Threatens Huge Dollar Selloff

I’m not an economist, so I’ll put the question to those in our audience who are: Is this threat as bad as the Telegraph is making it sound?

The Chinese government has begun a concerted campaign of economic threats against the United States, hinting that it may liquidate its vast holding of US treasuries if Washington imposes trade sanctions to force a yuan revaluation.

Two officials at leading Communist Party bodies have given interviews in recent days warning – for the first time – that Beijing may use its $1.33 trillion (£658bn) of foreign reserves as a political weapon to counter pressure from the US Congress. Shifts in Chinese policy are often announced through key think tanks and academies.

Described as China’s “nuclear option” in the state media, such action could trigger a dollar crash at a time when the US currency is already breaking down through historic support levels.

It would also cause a spike in US bond yields, hammering the US housing market and perhaps tipping the economy into recession. It is estimated that China holds over $900bn in a mix of US bonds.

[…]

Personally, my day job involves balloon animals. Even so, I feel comfortable in calling myself an economist in relation to Bryan Preston.

See, Bryan, it’s like this:

If you cut taxes and increase spending while simultaneously running a big trade imbalance, you have to get your money from somewhere. So what you do is, you go to your friend Zhongguo Renmin Yinhang and say, “Ni hao, People’s Bank of China! If you buy these US treasury securities for fifty billion dollars, then later I will give you your fifty billion dollars back plus billions more dollars in interest.” And your friend says, “Sure thing, dude! That sounds like a great deal.” And he buys your treasury securities, and you buy a gigantic amount of goods from his uncle’s wholesale enterprise, Sleeping Tiger China Capitalism Mart, and ship it back home. And then you go for a vacation at your ranch in Crawford, Texas.

Then you do it again. Then you do it again and again. Then you do it for a few more years, and then again and again and again. “Jeesh,” you say along the way, “We sure owe the People’s Bank of China a lot of dollars. But we’ll totally be able to pay the interest and keep borrowing more money if we just keep growing our real-estate bubble fast enough to stay ahead of the game.” Then you buy a gigantic load of goods from Sleeping Tiger China Capitalism Mart and go off for a vacation at your ranch in Crawford, Texas.

Then one day your friend, People’s Bank of China, gets pissed and says you’d better quit doing that thing you keep doing that’s always bugging him. And you’re like, “Aah, whatever. Don’t tell me what to do.” And he’s like, “Dude, how about all that money you owe me? Maybe I’m getting tired of being your freaking cash machine, okay?”

[sound of needle scratching on record]

And you’re like, “What. . .did. . .you. . .say?”

And he’s like, “I said quit doing that thing that’s always bugging me or else I might decide to be a dick about it.”

Above: Wao, wai teh long chin?

Then, unsure what to do next, you buy a gigantic load of goods from Sleeping Tiger China Capitalism Mart and go off for a vacation at your ranch in Crawford, Texas, as your friend starts looking at Taiwan in a somewhat unsettling way.
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I’d be remiss in my duties if I didn’t praise something Max Blumenthal wrote this week. He’s got a real nose for sniffing out the most bizarre corners of Wingnut Nation and reporting them out both humorously and intelligently. Go read.