Super Wingnut: Rich Lowry

Wingnut: Rich Lowry

Classification: Jingo

Affinities/Attributes: Chickenhawkery, dishonesty, contrived machismo, utter and spectacular wrongness.


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Above: “As you can see here, Hussein’s Iraq is orbiting the forest moon of Endor…”


After having seen so many of these blow-dried, fratboy-type wingnuts on television, having seen their names in the bylines of hundreds of offensive, irrational columns, I wondered: Could any one of them really be as insanely awful as he seems at first glance? Could any of them really be that bad? I decided to find out.

Picking Rich Lowry, more or less at random, as my subject, I set to work analyzing his entire oeuvre. I believe the result not only demonstrates beyond a reasonable doubt that Lowry is a particularly loathsome public figure, but also indicts the rancid ideology he represents. A twofer, if you will.
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It’s all fun and games until Althouse pitches a fit

Sigh…

Would the person who created the Ann Althouse profile on Facebook please take it down? I don’t feel like dealing with this crazy woman anymore. Thanks.

Gavin adds: Um, wait, what’s going on?

Bradrocket adds: It’s just not worth fighting about. Ann Althouse is (again) freaking out because an EVIL IMPOSTER!!!!11! is impersonating her on Facebook. And she’s shooting us lots of e-mails threatening us, yadda-yadda-yadda. I have too much of a headache to deal with her over something like this.

Gavin adds: Hmmm. And I think you know what I mean by that.

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Above: “Why dearies, it was all a little trick to make you
think I’m craz. . .Graah! Zarg! Fleen! I can sue you!”

I have nothing to do with anything on Facebook, btw. Why does she assume it’s us?

Seb adds: Look at the bright side, at least she called us prominent. Take that “somewhat popular” TBOGG.

Gavin adds: How many times have people threatened to sue us? My folder here says 998375^10.

I say we sue Alhouse for atrociously libelous defamatory frimmin’-in-the-jim-jam — because we’re so offended by this blatantly prejudicial and utterly unjustified public accusation that our life may be forever changed by this outrageous attack on our character. I, personally, am accruing cash damages as we speak.

 

Shorter Michelle Malkin

MSM Propaganda Watch: Ready, Aim…Not Fired!

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Above: Boing shriek boing shriek boing aiee

  • If Mohammed will not come to the molehill, we will bring the molehill to Mohammed.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.


 

LOLcons

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Above: Warner Todd Huston, early 2007

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Above: Warner Todd Huston, late 2007


‘LOLcons’ concept created by Jon Swift and named by Marita. (Online LOLcat builder here.)


[+ link]

+ bONUS hUSTON:

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+ PS: If you’ve sent one in, I have ’em in a posting queue here. (kthxbai)

 

Stop Selling Us Poison

Senator Dodd “calls for immediately suspending all imports of toys and food from China.”

Good.
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Above: Although truly, the people who shop at this place have only themselves to blame.

Now step back, watch who gives him shit for this perfectly reasonable demand, and know your political enemy. Dodd will be called a turtle, a Sinophobe, a racial demagogue, an invoker of the Yellow Peril, a protectionist, etc., and the loudest voices saying such things won’t come from the wingnuts (though they’ll certainly have their share in the cacophony). No, it’ll be the Sensible Liberals — *cough*BradDeLongNickPistofTomFriedmanSebastianMallabyetal*cough* — who claim to share your values.

The problem here is the 21st Century version of The Jungle, with the Chinese government in the place of the meat packers, the Chinese people being the Lithuanian immigrant workers, and the American public. . .is still the American public, being poisoned by corporatist pigs defended, now as then, by a complacent and complicit intellectual class (back then, stodgy laissez-faire men, and now, neoliberal economists and globalization cheerleaders) whose anger is only aroused by the muckrakers and dissenters whose position Dodd, to his immense credit, echoes.

But a-hah, says the Sensible Liberal, the problem back then was solved by the FDA, and the problem now would be solved if Bush weren’t in charge of the FDA! So neener neener, HTML, I am too a Liberal and on the side of decency!

Well, no. While the current FDA is amazingly incompetent and corrupt even by normal Bushite standards of incompetence and corruption (which is saying a lot), even the ‘best’ Clintonoid FDA couldn’t possibly inspect all the food imports. The problem can only be solved by insisting through trade pacts that imported food is produced according to American environmental, labor, and safety standards. If they want our market, fine; they must treat their workers, the environment, and consumers by our rules (which admittedly aren’t all that great right now, either, also largely in thanks to corporate-whorish Sensible Liberals, but better by far than China’s). However, demanding such a remedy requires moral courage, something economics textbooks don’t teach — though there is apparently an esoteric chapter in them that instructs in the fine art of dishonestly using moral language. To wit: ‘why do [non-neoliberals] want to keep Chinese poor?’

 

Shorter Tech Central Station

Is Rule of Law Possible in Iraq?

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Above: Ilya Shapiro

  • Let us challenge our Western-hegemonic assumptions of the Middle Eastern cultural narrative(s), and ask: Can the upcoming invasion of Iraq succeed in building a stable civil society, or [zong] aiee, time vortex.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

 

Shorter Rudy Takala

Bridges of socialism

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Above: Ruh-roh, Randroid

  • While as a Muslim, Keith Ellison (D MN) hasn’t yet murdered innocent Americans, as a socialist looter-moocher, he is responsible for the interstate bridge. . .er, ‘shrugging.’

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.


 

Shorter Confederate Yankee

Liar’s Parade

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Above: That guy on the Gong Show with the viking helmet

  • Wow-oo wow-oo, Wow-oo wow-oo, Wow-wow wow-wow!

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.


Warning: Do not click the link unless you’re prepared for a long and wackily desperate post that argues with keyboard-poundy earnestness that Mr. Yankee is proven right about every detail of the Beauchamp affair despite the desperate attempts of treasonous liars to spin the truth.

No really, I’m warning you. The next post you see over there might look like this.

Update: If anyone brave enough to read the post has missed the earlier installments in this drama, it’s important to keep in mind that Mr. Yankee is capable of trying to ‘debunk’ the existence of the sun.

Standard techniques include cherry-picking of evidence and wild speculation presented as fact, although when he gets this far down a blind alley, he’s liable to try just any old thing. Beware! Beware!

 

Please, someone take away my computer

Please, please, please. I need someone to take away my computer. Reading right-wing blogs is bad for me, but I can’t stop reading them. My behavior at this point is completely out of control, and I need someone to perform an intervention. Just look at what Ace is trying to do to me now:

I don’t remember hearing anything about this “statistical tie” business when 1998 was being trumpeted as the undisputed, unchallenged warmest year in human history. Boy, you guys suuuuuure seemed to keep a lid on the “statistical tie” thing back then, huh? It’s only now — when 1934 becomes the warmest year — we’re hearing about “statistical ties.”

From a 1998 Associated Press Report:

While temperatures in the United States were the warmest in at least 40 years, final figures aren’t complete, NASA said. But, the agency added, it is clear that 1998 did not match the record warmth of 1934, which occurred during the Dust Bowl era.

Oopsie-doodles!

Back to Ace:

(He does quote Hansen himself noting it was a statistical tie, sometime. Once. Obviously the global warming cultists must have missed that, or else I’m sure they would have modified their cant to say “1998 is the warmest year on record, but you should note, in fairness, it’s statistically tied with 1934 for that honor.)

Buh-buh-buh-but Ace! Globally, it was the hottest year on record! It just wasn’t the hottest year on record in the United States. And they emphasized in the original report that 1934 still had the record for the hottest year ever in the U.S.!

You’re going to make me break out my favorite diagram, aren’t you?

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Wouldja Look At The Bags O’ Sand On That One!

Ace:

In related news, Scientific American reports it’s a true pleasure to touch a woman’s breasts, how they feel like bags of sand, how they so pleasingly as they clatter as they heave backwards and forwards.

Ace is all for gazing at the clattering, sandy mantlepiece when he’s stoking the bacon-and-Play-Doh …

Seriously, though, the theory that Ace has never actually been intimate with a woman is now officially a Law.

Bradrocket adds: To be fair to the Acemeister (Christ, never thought I’d be saying that), I believe this was a play on a joke made in the 40-Year-Old Virgin. If it wasn’t, then clearly irony has had salt poured all over her grave.

D. Aristophanes adds: Doh! A joke? There’s still the clattering and the heaving of the backwards and forwards and the bacon and Play-Doh …