Sadly, No!

Does your PC like to watch?

No need maybe — but what about want? (The box is just as good…)

Above: Don Surber

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Courtesy of Middle-Aged White Woman From North Carolina Pretending To Be A Young Urban Hip-Hop Blogger Called Sistah Toldjah and Don Surber:

The left’s obsession with ‘outing’ gay Republicans continues …

… even after they find out from the alleged “other half” of the “relationship” that the rumors aren’t true. Rick Moran provides the details.

Surprised? No. Disgusted all over again? Hell yeah.

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Comments

It’s because they find all us Republican men so attractive …

Comment by Don Surber @ 11/27/2007 – 6:25 pm

Sometimes comedy just writes itself.

Which group is worse: fags or broads?

.
Above: Definitely not a homosexual. Probably not a woman, either.

• Male movie stars of the Forties and Fifties were all secretly homos, but at least they’re not like the male movie stars of today, who are all openly pussies.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

ABOVE: Rick Moran delivers a
homily on blogger ethics

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Rick Moran is hollerin’ like a stuck pig over suggestions that Trent Lott might have known, in the Levitical sense, a male escort. According to Rick, this story is “categorically false,” apparently because the hooker himself has denied it. Leaving aside the inherent humor in Rick accepting at face value the word of a gay male hooker, Rick is apparently unaware that the hooker in question has also said that no one could even waterboard the name of a client out of him:

Whether I’m seeing celebrities, politicians, athletes, or anyone else, it’s my job to make sure that each person is treated with the same respect and confidentiality. … I don’t pass judgment on them, and I sure as hell wouldn’t “out” any of them.

Of course, notwithstanding that the story is, er, “categorically false,” those evil lefty blogs, according to Moran, continue to accuse Lott of hooker-schtupping. This provides an occasion for Rick to drape a stole around his neck, mount his pulpit, and deliver a homily on blogger ethics:

If you’re going to smear someone’s personal life, at least have the common decency to get your facts right.

Funny hearing that about common decency coming from someone who said this about me:

I realize what a chore it is for some of you to be forced to read. For those unfortunate enough not to possess their fair share of brains, reading makes the eyes and head hurt. And the information gleaned from reading takes up valuable space in a limited vessel – space better used to store things like images of naked women or, in the case of the author of this piece, pictures of naked little boys.

That would be me who Rick says — falsely, of course — is interested in mental images of “naked little boys.”

Rick has now responded to my charge of hypocrisy with the “aw-shucks-I-were-jes-joking” defense:

Jesus Cliff. I make an offhand, deragotory [sic] comment about you taking up space on your hardrive [sic] with pictures of “naked little boys” and all of a sudden I’m seriously accusing you of being a gay pedophile? [Ed. note: Well, you certainly weren’t accusing me of being a heterosexual pediatrician.]

Get a grip. And stop bitching and take your medicine like a man instead of a whiney [sic], spoiled mama’s boy brat.

Um…unless you are, in fact, a gay pedophile in which case I can certainly understand you obsessing about this.

What a goat-blowing chumpstain. And, of course, Rick, you won’t mind my saying that you like to give blow jobs to goats, unless, of course, you really do like to blow them.

I’m not trying to stir up another YouTube war with Atrios or John Cole. Really, I swear. But if I were trying to start a skirmish, I wouldn’t hesitate to use the MDA Senior Management Rap to kick everyone’s ass:

Just sayin’.

I don’t think Dinesh D’Souza respects his readers very much:

About a hundred years ago, two anti-religious bigots named John William Draper and Andrew Dickson White wrote books promoting the idea of an irreconcilable conflict between science and God. The books were full of facts that have now been totally discredited by scholars. But the myths produced by Draper and Dickson continue to be recycled. They are believed by many who consider themselves educated, and they even find their way into the textbooks. In this article I expose several of these myths…

So it was anti-religious bigots who drove a wedge between faith and empirical observation, eh? Good to know. And they used “totally discredited” facts to do this, you say? Those rascals!

ABOVE: His facts thus marshalled, Dinesh D’Souza sends off another column to his publisher.

According to the atheist narrative, the medieval Christians all believed that the earth was flat until the brilliant scientists showed up in the modern era to prove that it was round. In reality, educated people in the Middle Ages knew that the earth was round. In fact, the ancient Greeks in the fifth century B.C. knew the earth was a globe. They didn’t need modern science to point out the obvious.

Then why is Galileo famous? (On edit: Uh, not for this. At some point during this post’s evolution, I began to conflate the round-earth theory with heliocentricism. Coincidence … or not?)

Read the rest of this entry »

Well this is certainly settled:

Escort Throws Cold Water On Lott Rumor
November 26, 2007 11:14 PM

A San Antonio-based gay male escort categorically denied Monday that outgoing GOP Sen. Trent Lott had ever procured his services, putting to bed one of the more stunning rumors to emerge following Lott’s announcement earlier in the day that he was leaving Congress.

After all, it’s not like the GOP would attempt to cover up such a thing.

Above (l-r): Trent Lott, Larry Craig

For some reason, Mike Huckabee thinks that recruiting washed-up martial-arts ex-‘stars’ will give his presidential campaign a needed boost.

This ad creates an interesting puzzle: From watching it, we can deduce that somebody out there is really goddamn stupid, but we don’t really know who.

Is it the Huckabee campaign, for thinking that anyone out there is dumb enough to use Chuck Norris’ endorsement as a basis for choosing the most powerful leader in the world? Or is it the people who actually do use Chuck Norris’ endorsement as a basis for choosing the most powerful leader in the world? Either way, I’m pretty sure our nation is basically doomed.

“Hey, ma! I’m a-votin’ fer Walker-Texas-Ranger!”

Gavin adds: It’s not like we couldn’t have seen this coming…

And if Chuck Norris is too rarefied, too coastal and elite-cultural a figure to suit some voters’ broadly American tastes, there’s also this:

Huckabee Stumps With Ric Flair

COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) — Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee carved out a corner of South Carolina’s biggest annual sporting event Saturday, drawing a throng of supporters to a college football tailgate appearance with former pro wrestler “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair.

Hey Huckabee staffers, you know who hasn’t endorsed anyone yet?

Above: Conservative pundit U. Warrior

It seems like there’s always something that needs fixing, here on this Internet.

Read the rest of this entry »

ABOVE: Rob Port conducts an
experiment to see if wearing
his baseball cap backwards
will make him look smarter

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In between running the new puppy out every hour or so to pee, I don’t have time to do much other than to pick some low hanging fruit from the wingnutosphere. And there’s no lower low-hanging fruit than Rob Port, a distinguished Pajama Medias blogger who also is the retail manager of a Home of Economy store in rural North Dakota. This gives Rob sufficient gravitas and expertise on the Second Amendment that he can diss something Obama said about gun control.

Obama On Guns: They Should Only Be Used By Rural People To Hunt And Shoot Home Invaders … Because I’m sure that’s what the founders had in mind when they included the 2nd amendment [sic] in the constitution [sic].

I’m not sure that a guy that doesn’t know that the Second Amendment and Constitution should be capitalized can really tell us much about what the Founders meant in the first place. But if we want to play the original intent game, I should point out that the only arms the Founders knew about when they wrote the Second Amendment were single-shot muzzleloaders.

Here’s what Obama said that has Rob playing pretend lawyer and Federalist Society member:

We should be able to enforce laws that keep guns off the streets in inner cities because some unscrupulous gun dealer is, you know, letting somebody load up a van with a bunch of cheap handguns or sawed-off shotguns and dumping them and selling them for a profit in the streets.

Hmmm. Seems sensible to me, but to Rob this “sums up the idiocy of the entire gun control philosophy.” Rob really shouldn’t throw terms like “idiocy” around, considering what he says next:

Even if you could manage to eliminate all those handguns and shotguns used by gangs (and no gun control law could ever accomplish that as it’s a bit like putting toothpaste back in the tube), the guns in that scenario aren’t the problem.

Before you praise Rob for his strikingly original toothpaste metaphor, it appears that the main reason for it was so that he could link to a toothpaste ad. So please resist snarky comments about how Rob looks like a toothpaste eater.

We should address why those people are criminals, and why they’re committing crimes, instead of just trying to ban the tools they use to do the crimes. Tools that could be replaced with something else.

So true, Rob. Even if we make it harder for a criminal to get a gun, the criminal can still run up and squirt poisoned toothpaste in your ear. And we know how hard it is to put the toothpaste back in the tube.