Drinking Sadlyly Is Refreshing Its Drinky-Drinks

Doodle Bean here.

Surprisingly, not one person is under the table… at least not so far!

In addition, some good may come out of this. Gavin may get his tooth fixed tomorrow, I just found out Pedestrian likes my art (althoug the Virgin Ben probably wouldn’t), and Blue Buddha is really psyched about organizing the First Annual Bollywood Dance Party train.

Watch here for details!

Anne Laurie passed the mic w/out comment.

Chairman Meow saith:
Best misheard phrase of the evening = “Beacon Hill” <--> “Vegan Hell.” As in “opening a restaurant in….”

Because that’s how we LIEberals run thangs. At least we don’t have Bacon-PlayDoh Fricassee on the menu.

tehfuxxor.jpg
Above: Teh fuxxor!

 

Entartete “Kunst”

blue_ben.jpg

Theees eeesn’t Gainsborough’s
Blue Boy, ees Preeence Beeno,
Ruler of Goodwin and Proctor!


I have been remiss. Three days have gone by without my commenting on a Ben Shapiro column titled “No Bodily Fluids in the Public Square,” which reveals, of course, the great liberal conspiracy to take God out of the public square and put bodily fluids there instead. Even better, the column gives the world the opportunity to savor deep thoughts on aesthetic theory by an associate in the Real Estate Practice Group of Goodwin and Proctor. It just doesn’t get better than that, folks!

[B]ecause art is so difficult, so amorphous and difficult to define, civilized people have shied away from attempting to place limits on it.

So, naturally a civilized fellow like Ben isn’t going to try to place limits on art. Or is he?

There’s only one problem with this strategy: If you pollute the artistic marketplace with unmitigated crap, no one will want to visit the marketplace. Art itself will die … . Art thrives most when it has reasonable limits.

Such as these limits. Okay, before anyone invokes Godwin’s law on me, just keep reading.

When there are no hard limits, artists who push the envelope are given the most attention. Those “artists” attract the most imitators. And so the “artist” who drops a crucifix in a jar of urine breeds the “artist” who douses herself in chocolate syrup.

I guess by “hard limits” Ben must mean the death penalty. Otherwise, you know, artists will continue to outrage young Republican lawyers by wearing chocolate rather than by, say, taking it out of the mouths of poor children.

And all of these artists breed the “artist” who supposedly artificially inseminates herself, induces her own miscarriages, films those miscarriages, saves the blood, mixes it with Vaseline, spreads the mixture on saran wrap and then projects the video of her miscarriages onto the saran wrap screen.

Ben has apparently been too busy reviewing deeds of trust to actually read a newspaper and discover that this was a hoax designed to scandalize people like, well, Ben.

All rights have reasonable limits. The right to bear arms does not include a right to own a nuclear weapon.

Ah, those liberal Harvard values have certainly rubbed off on Ben — although probably not so much as to have him exclude any other weapons, such as a shoulder-fired rocket launcher, from Second Amendment protection.

The public has an interest in preventing the pollution of its artistic culture — and the law should reflect that interest.

So those of you who invoked Godwin’s law a little while ago when I trotted out the Degenerate Art comparison, I bet you just regretted that, didn’t you?

As for the “boundary-pushing” performance “artists,” those “artists” who cannot work within the bounds of common decency should find another line of work.

Such as the legal profession. Or maybe as a columnist for Clown Hall.


Clif adds: The photoshopping of VB into Gainsborough’s Blue Boy inspired commenter tb to create this highly amusing injection of VB into another artistic masterpiece. My only quibble: I think VB’s johnson is much smaller than this depiction might suggest.

benshapiro-victorious.jpg

 

The Unbearable Nearness Of Drinking Sadlyly

Via bear-guided messenger bear-puma comes a final reminder from Doodle Bean:

Where: People’s Republik, 876 Mass Ave, Cambridge, MA, 02139, (617) 492-8632

When: Sunday, April 27, 2008, 5 pm to whenever

tmap.jpg
Above: Take the Red Line to Carnal Request

 

‘Cuz Blacks Are Too Fuckin’ Broke To Be Republican

cart66oakies.jpg

Above: Conservatives imagine a new dialogue on race


At last count, Barack Obama has publicly repudiated Jeremiah Wright, Jesse Jackson, Louis Farrakhan, Idi Amin, Robert Mugabe, Wayne Williams, Michael Jackson, and the entire starting five of the 1966 Texas Western basketball team. But is that enough? Aw hellz naw, says Evan Gahr at Human Events. Sure, there’s a horrible war, and the economy is in the toilet, and no one can afford health care, and gas rationing and food riots are just around the corner, but what’s foremost in Evan’s mind? In order to even be considered for leadership of the free world, Obama must denounce all rappers:

Although the media has finally exposed Barack Obama’s ties to the unhinged pastor his support from rappers who propagate equally pernicious nonsense has gone almost entirely unnoticed.

Quick, someone bust a 12-bar containing the phrase ‘propagate equally pernicious nonsense’. I’m going to compose a letter to Mr. Gahr explaining the difference between not noticing something and not caring about it. Meanwhile, back to the article:

Rappers are gaga over Obama. The superstar Jay-Z, who raps about “b——,” “hoes” and “n—–,“ even urged voters to support Obama in a robo-call for the March 4 Ohio primary and caucus.

I think it’s sorta curious that “bitch” and “nigga” get blanked out, but “ho” gets left intact. Not that this says anything at all about Mr. Gahr’s psychological makeup, goodness no.

The equally foul-mouthed rapper Will.I.am, whose hit songs include “I love my B—-,” has hyped Obama in two widely-viewed videos posted on YouTube.

Do you know why they’re widely viewed, Evan? Because people like them. All hail the free market, right buddy?

The rappers have good reason to praise Obama. He has at times been an apologist for their “music.”

In an incredibly moving show of restraint, Gahr waits until the fourth paragraph to refer to rap as ‘music’ (in scare-quote marks), and even more astonishingly, does not say “they should call it CRAP music!” at all. Clearly we are dealing with a rare cultural mind here.

His complicity with rappers dates back to at least 2006.

That’s right, America: Barack Obama — the man who dares suggest he is fit to lead our nation! — has in fact been an accomplice, if not an outright co-conspirator, to multiple counts of aiding and abetting hip-hop, going as far back as two years! It’s a wonder he’s not on death row, let alone serving as a United States Senator.

Obama even recorded a voice over for a new album out this June from rapper Q-tip. Will it contain lyrics like these sonnets from another Q-tip song? “Close the door, ‘ight let a n—- rock. Cause we ‘bout to eat real s—, not s— slop.” Who are these members of Obama’s amen corner? Many are the industry’s leading lights, who have become rich and famous thanks to the willingness of liberals like Obama to ignore or excuse their glorification of sexism, drugs and violence. Without this kind of collaboration they would just be unemployed thugs instead of millionaires.

Yeah, when I think of thuggish, violent crackhead street criminals, my mind instantly turns to Q-Tip and Will.I.Am.

Obama thus far has equivocated on rappers. He has criticized their language, but adamantly refused to denounce the whole sordid genre as the unique cultural problem that it is.

This is pretty awesome: rap isn’t just devil jungle music created by vicious whitey-hating murderers, it is a unique cultural problem, unprecedented in the history of human endeavor, that should be uniformly denounced by everyone, especially if they happen to be colored.

“I haven’t just singled out rappers,” Obama told Al Sharpton’s National Action Network conference last year, according to the New York Observer. “I’ve said I’ve heard those words [used by rappers] around the kitchen table in some homes. I hear them in the barber shop. I hear them on the basketball court. All of us have been complicit in diminishing ourselves.”

As an aside here, can you imagine the right’s reaction if Obama discussed the way white people talk when they’re alone with other white people, talking about blacks or women, and said that they have been complicit in diminishing the white race?

Obama here relies on the pro-forma defense of rap music. Yes, apologists say, it’s racist and sexist but it only reflects the racism and sexism of society. Oh, really? Where else but rap do folks talk so openly and regularly about b——, n—— and hoes? What other industry makes millions of dollars from those words? Obama says he’s heard this kind of language on the basketball court. Which one? Not any NBA game. Players who curse during games are suspended and fined.

I’m not even sure how to start with this one. Gahr is suggesting, here, that only in rap songs do young black males curse, because in NBA games, you can get fined for it! And where else would blacks play basketball except in the NBA? Nowhere that Evan Gahr has ever heard of!

Where else but rap do you hear words like these from Obama supporter Jay-Z in his song “99 Problems?”

Now once upon a time not long ago
A n—- like myself had to strong arm a hoe
This is not a hoe in the sense of having a p—
But a p—- having no God Damn sense

Going for the Wingnut Trifecta of Stupid, Ignorant and Misguided, Gahr here quotes, as evidence of hip-hop’s misogyny, a line from Jay-Z’s “99 Problems” that is actually about men. Well done, thou good and faithful servant.

Have any rappers donated to his campaign? Will he return the money?

It takes courage to demand the return of entirely theoretical money. But that’s just how we roll at Human Events, dog.

UPDATE: Thanks to alert reader/ashamed mother Mary Ruppert, we can now report that Brent “Walter Peck” Bozell has jumped on the “Barack Obama must publicly denounce all rappers” bandwagon. He has also brought us this vital piece of information:

Jay-Z also tells critics to kiss his whole (rectum).

MOBILIZE THE NATIONAL GUARD!

 

Drinking Sadlyly Roars Closer

sadpalooza.jpg

ABOVE: Try an ‘orange roughy


The following just in from Doodle Bean, via messenger puma:

East Coast Drinking Sadlyly-thon-festapalooza!

Where: People’s Republik, 876 Mass Ave, Cambridge, MA, 02139, (617) 492-8632

When: Sunday, April 27, 2008, 5 pm to whenever

Who: Everybody who wants to meet up with S,N!. Everybody who wants to defile the Sabbath. Everybody.

Passphrases: “The fact is, the fact is,” OR “Shalom, gentlemen,” OR “The fact is, the Heartland…” OR “I like pie!” OR “I like that feller who writes them long, meandering, pointless comments the best!”

We’ll be in the usual DL spot, just to the left of the door when you come in.

Lost? Call (617) 492-8632 and let the paid professionals guide you to their door.

Lonely? Come Drink Sadlyly with us!

And actually, in keeping with the Russian theme, why not warm things up with a YOUTUBE WAR!1!!!one!


Above: Die, TRex, die die Balloon Juice (muaha die snort)…

 

A Grave Indignity and Degradation of the Human Person

k-bunny.jpg

Over at America’s Shittiest Website™ there is a debate raging over what may surely be the most important issue facing the United States in the coming decade — the sale of Playboy at military PXs. In one corner of the ring, we have K-Lo, who feels that Playboy is degrading to women and who prints an email from a reader that blames military divorce rates on — you guessed it — the sale of Playboy to horny soldiers. In the other corner we have Andrew Stuttaford whose interest in pornography may not be completely academic.

Stuttaford leads off:

Just when you think that certain elements in the GOP can go no further in their embrace of the nanny state, we see a news item like this:

Concerned that the military is selling pornography in exchange stores in spite of a ban, one lawmaker has introduced a bill to clean up the matter. “Our troops should not see their honor sullied so that the moguls behind magazines like Playboy and Penthouse can profit,” said Rep. Paul Broun, R-Ga., unveiling his House bill April 16.

K-Lo puts down the rosary that was in one hand and the order of “Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes” that was in the other long enough to type this:

I, for one, have no objection to the idea. We’re not talking about something crazy like consfiscating [sic] pornography from military servicemen (or women) who own it. But I like the idea of the american [sic] military having nothing official to do with porn. We train our servicemen to protect and defend, in situations in which they often have to face perilous choices as who [sic] to protect and defend.

And if it comes down to a choice of saving a stash of Playboy magazines and a buddy, well, you know, the buddy’s just going to have to take a bullet.

Pornography is a grave indignity and degradation of the human person.

If the NRO thing doesn’t work out for K-Lo, she can always ghostwrite papal encyclicals. Well, maybe not.

If a soldier wants to view pornography, it’s his right, but the U.S. military need not provide it to him.

Good point, Kathryn. There are plenty of safe, well-lit, clean places outside the PX in Iraq where a soldier can buy a Playboy.

Then we have Andrew’s “K-Lo, you ignorant slut” moment:

Kathryn, we can agree to differ in our views as to whether pornography is by definition degrading (I don’t believe it necessarily is, needless to say), but does the fact that Playboy is sold in exchange stores really imply any sort of official endorsement? I don’t think so. For example, exchange stores also stock cigarettes, and, last time I checked, smoking was not something that Uncle Sam was recommending that anyone should do. What’s more, many people consider cigarette smoking to be irrational, self-destructive, dangerous to others and, yes, immoral. Would you ban cigarettes from the PX?

We’re not quite sure why Stuttaford thinks it’s “needless to say” he doesn’t think pornography is degrading, but, frankly, we’re not really all that anxious to find out.

K-Lo doesn’t take it sitting down:

Porn is a problem. Is Playboy less of one than the world wide web of hardcore porn we all have access to right now? Yes. But it’s all dehumanizing. And we should talk about it. It’s not just something people look at privately. It has consequences for honor and integrity.

The only pictures of boobies that honorable soldiers should be looking at are pictures of the Commander-in-Chief and Vice-President Cheney.

But there’s more from K-Lo:

Porn is a sad and lonely world, and I respect men — especially military men — too much to know they may be living in it.

Iraq is, of course, a happy and cheerful world, which is why K-Lo isn’t really concerned that soldiers may be living there. No, the real danger to our troops isn’t an IED; it’s an exposed nipple in a Playboy centerfold.

 

We Are All Joads Now

cart66oakies.jpg

Mmm, good! Boiled boots in sauce


Americans, anxious over food prices, are panic-buying simple grains at Sam’s Club, Wal-Mart and Costco.

Two things:

1. If the Dems can’t win in November when people are on the verge of boiling their own shoes for dinner, fuck ’em.

2. Due to economic concerns, all future Sadly, No! meet-ups have been moved to a boxcar down at the rail yard.

 

It’s Going to Come Down to Guam

The race for the Democratic nomination looks like it’s going to keep going to the bitter end. I’ve decided to look on the bright side and just enjoy it. Rather than pull our hair out in frustration, let’s look at positives:

– We have two very strong candidates for president

– Contrary to partisan belief, neither is running a terrible campaign – both are running very strong campaigns

– Voters in states that never get to influence the nomination process are getting to do just that – that means huge numbers of newly registered Democrats and positive implications for down-ticket races in November

– We could actually see American politicians pour millions of dollars into the economies of Puerto Rico and Guam before this is through, and how is that a bad thing?

 

Heckuva job

I’m so glad America provides the best health care in the world:

For the first time since the Spanish influenza of 1918, life expectancy is falling for a significant number of American women.

In nearly 1,000 counties that together are home to about 12 percent of the nation’s women, life expectancy is now shorter than it was in the early 1980s, according to a study published today.

The downward trend is evident in places in the Deep South, Appalachia, the lower Midwest and in one county in Maine. It is not limited to one race or ethnicity but it is more common in rural and low-income areas. The most dramatic change occurred in two areas in southwestern Virginia (Radford City and Pulaski County), where women’s life expectancy has decreased by more than five years since 1983.

But hey, Hillary Clinton is a closeted lesbian with a scary laugh and Barack Obama is a stealth Muslim who can’t bowl, so there’s no way they can fix this stuff.

More:

The phenomenon appears to be not only new but distinctly American.

“If you look in Western Europe, Australia, Japan, New Zealand, we don’t see this,” Murray said.

Yeah, but I bet people in those dumb countries don’t have as many iPods as we do.

The next time some wingnut says to us, “What, do ya want socialized medicine like they got in YURP???” everything in this country should answer “Hells yes we do!” Because after another eight or so years of Bushian policies, we’re going to officially become a third-world nation.

 

Wafflegate!

Jeralyn Merritt has the lowdown on how Barack Obama has once again doomed his chances in the general election thanks to his perverse interactions with crappy food. Two weeks ago he refused to wolf down the people’s processed cheese sludge, today he flip-flopped and attacked a pile of fried sugar dough with positively petulant gusto.

What a loser! I’m totally voting for McCain now.

On another note, and in all seriousness, this is horrendous.