Sadly, No!

Toby Dials, RedState:
(Cartoon) – When empathy is applied to justice…

• Inasmuch as Justice is a blonde Caucasian woman in classical dress who is holding a balance in her left hand, the ’empathy’ that President Obama has cited as a quality salutory to jurists can be imagined as a bandanna around that figure’s neck that is knotted to a monofilamentous wire looped around a small pulley which is, in turn, affixed to the ceiling — such an arrangement serving, via downward force applied by actors unseen, to tighten the bandanna of ’empathy’ around the neck of ‘Justice,’ occasioning from her a look of alarm.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

I have a new article on AlterNet up about seasteading, the hilarious new glibertarian phenomenon where a bunch of rich guys try to flee the iron fist of democracy by living on concrete platforms in the middle of the ocean. Here’s an excerpt:

Seasteading: Libertarians Set to Launch a (Wet) Dream of ‘Freedom’ in International Waters

By Brad Reed, AlterNet […]

At this point, some practical concerns arise. First, any offshore facility that specializes in narcotics trade is going to become the world’s No. 1 target for pirates. The seasteaders briefly address the threat of piracy by explaining that “most pirate attacks are either very small-scale, preying on unarmed ships, or very large-scale, with organized groups stealing entire cargo ships. A seastead will be too tough for small pirates and not financially worthwhile for big ones.”

Really! An entire sea platform filled with highly profitable illegal drugs would not be financially worthwhile for pirates to attack! Good luck with that.

The second big problem that seasteaders face is that most governments will be none-too-thrilled to have platforms located just off their coasts that pay no taxes and that profit directly from undermining their own legal systems.

In the best-case scenario, governments will enact heavy tariffs on any goods imported from a seastead, thus negating whatever competitive advantage is gained from erecting “patent-free zones.” In the worst-case scenario, they’ll send out their navies to shut down the whole operation.

The seastead manifesto keenly observes that ocean platforms would be “quite vulnerable to larger weapons” from navies since “concrete is tough but far from indestructible.” But even these limitations shouldn’t keep a good seasteader down, because “sea-skimming anti-ship cruise missiles like the Chinese Silkworm are fairly cheap and quite effective,” and “a rocket engineer in New Zealand has set out to prove that you can build a small cruise missile for $5,000.”

Incidentally, I’m surprised that the Ole Perfesser been dismissive of this phenomenon so far even though it involves both “Going Galt” and living in the company of like-minded transhumanist dweebs. I guess the prospect of having to actually fend for himself without the comfort of the American military is too much for him to handle.

Erick Erickson, RedState:
The Peter Principle
We hang together or hang separately.

• This is whe-ere the party ends,
  I just sit here, wondering why you,
  Won’t stand by your racist friends.²

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

Jonah the Whale is over at America’s Shittiest Website™ complaining about yet another scientific study that demonstrates that conservatives are stupid. Of course, Jonah ironically and unwittingly adds yet another data point to that demonstration by dismissing the study after admitting that he hadn’t even bothered to read it.

An even better demonstration of the intimate link between wingnuttery and stupidity is this new ad from Maggie “A Storm’s A-Comin'” Gallagher’s National Organization for Marriage, which closes with this image:

I added the red underlining, but nothing else about that frame grab from the ad has been altered in any way. You’d think that the people that are making such a fuss about how gay terrorists are going to start blowing up churches and temples until every Catholic and Mormon marries someone of the same sex would at least learn how to spell correctly the very thing that they are pretending to protect.

Because I’m a commie America hater, I sometimes read news sources from other countries. Earlier this week, I was reading an article in The Guardian about a British torture scandal. This is what I found (all emphasis mine):

MI5 faces fresh torture allegations

The home secretary Jacqui Smith faces legal action over allegations that MI5 agents colluded in the torture of a British former civil servant by Bangladeshi intelligence officers..

Right off the bat you notice a difference. A high-ranking government official is actually facing a legal action for her alleged role in torturing somebody. You’ll also notice that the opening graf contains no references to Jack Bauer or ticking time bombs. Continuing:

Lawyers for the British man, Jamil Rahman, are to file a damages claim alleging that Smith was complicit in assault, unlawful arrest, false imprisonment and breaches of human rights legislation over his alleged ill-treatment while detained in Bangladesh.

The claims bring to three the number of countries in which British intelligence agents have been accused of colluding in the torture of UK nationals. Rahman says that he was the victim of repeated beatings over a period of more than two years at the hands of Bangladeshi intelligence officers, and he claims that a pair of MI5 officers were blatantly involved in his ordeal.

The two men would leave the room where he was being interrogated whenever he refused to answer their questions, he says, and he would be severely beaten. They would then return to the room to resume the interrogation.

Oh wow! So it’s not like the British government even the MI5 to torture the guy themselves! They just left the room and pretended not to know he was being tortured by other people. And they’re still facing legal action over it! And again, still no mention of how tuff Jack Bauer is!

Now here’s the part that will really blow your mind:

The alleged complicity of the MI5 officers who failed to report or do anything to prevent torture appears to be in line with a secret government-approved interrogation policy at the time. Gordon Brown has ordered a review of the policy, but there have been numerous calls for an independent inquiry into the affair.

Among those demanding an inquiry are opposition leaders David Cameron and Nick Clegg; Ken Macdonald, the former director of public prosecutions; Lord Carlile of Berriew, the government’s independent reviewer of counter-terrorism legislation; Lord Howe, foreign secretary in the Thatcher government, and Lord Guthrie, former chief of defence staff.

For those of you who don’t follow British politics, Cameron is the leader of Britain’s Conservative Party. Which, as you may have guessed by its title, is the center-right party in the U.K. You’ll notice that Cameron is actually demanding an independent inquiry instead of giving a speech at the American Enterprise Institute telling us all how swell torture is. Nor is he telling us that Jack Bauer would so have approved torturing this guy because otherwise the terrorists would blow up the Queen Mum.

Why is our country the only Western democracy whose government officials outspokenly support torture? Have we become that depraved?

Say, let’s look at another article to see how David Cameron differs from our country’s right-wing leaders:

David Cameron: I would reduce No 10’s power

David Cameron will tomorrow pledge to deliver the most dramatic redistribution of power in living memory as he attempts to deal with the concerns of voters left disgusted by the row over MPs’ expenses.

In a broad-ranging article in the Guardian, Cameron declares that he would trim back the powers of the prime minister and boost the role of parliament to win back public confidence.

What the hell. Why can’t we get center-right leaders like this? Hey Britain, if you send us David Cameron, we’ll gladly trade you Newt Gingrich and Dick Cheney.

Woof:

It Sticks in My Craw [Mark Krikorian]

Most e-mailers were with me on the post on the pronunciation of Judge Sotomayor’s name (and a couple griped about the whole Latina/Latino thing — English dropped gender in nouns, what, 1,000 years ago?). But a couple said we should just pronounce it the way the bearer of the name prefers, including one who pronounces her name “freed” even though it’s spelled “fried,” like fried rice. (I think Cathy Seipp of blessed memory did the reverse — “sipe” instead of “seep.”) Deferring to people’s own pronunciation of their names should obviously be our first inclination, but there ought to be limits. Putting the emphasis on the final syllable of Sotomayor is unnatural in English (which is why the president stopped doing it after the first time at his press conference), unlike my correspondent’s simple preference for a monophthong over a diphthong, and insisting on an unnatural pronunciation is something we shouldn’t be giving in to.

Krikorian goes on to point out that his own last name is Armenian. Personally speaking, I don’t think people who descend from swarthy, terror-loving Middle Eastern MuslamoNazi* countries have any right to tell us how to pronounce their names. From this point forward, I shall pronounce Krikorian’s last name as “Crackwhoreian” and there’s nothing he can do to stop me.

*And yeah, I know most Armenians are Christians. But they’re located really close to Iran, which means that they have probably been brainwashed as MuslamoNazi sleeper agents and they’re highly likely to torch their Bibles and start slaughtering white people at any given moment.

Gavin adds:

Above: Golda rhymes-with-tire

Shorter Doughy Pantload:

Above: Chief Justice of the Supreme Fart.

“Good Justices Are Made in the Image of Obama”

• By nominating a brown, female, empathetic, fascist moonbat to the court, Barack the Megalomaniack, congenitally and hopelessly narcissistic, has basically nominated a clone of himself. Thus the self-regarding Obamamessiah inevitably creates a Supreme Court Justice in His own image. Really. I mean, how typical. Think about it.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

Doug Ross, DirectorBlue:
RED ALERT: Did anti-Obama campaign contributions dictate which Chrysler dealers were shuttered?

Critical Updates Below: Red State, American Thinker, Joey Smith and Reliapundit provide anecdotal and quantitative evidence that would appear to confirm a decided bias against dealers who donated to GOP causes or to anti-Obama Democrats.

Special note for moonbats: no one here is saying that the sole criterion for closing a dealership was partisanship. What we ask is: does it seem odd that the list of closed dealerships appears to have contributed a grand total of $200 to Barack Obama and millions to GOP candidates/causes?

Quote from an attorney who Deposed Chrysler’s president last week: “It became clear to us that Chrysler does not see the wisdom of terminating 25 percent of its dealers… It really wasn’t Chrysler’s decision. They are under enormous pressure from the President’s automotive task force.”

Stay tuned. Data crunching is underway.

Insert eight entire screens packed with fevered abba-dabba.

Hat tip: Bob. Linked by: Ace o’ Spades, Gateway Pundit, The Anchoress, Conservative Grapevine, Be John Galt, Bookworm Room, Memeorandum, Protein Wisdom, Say Anything, American Digest, TigerHawk, Atlas, Pat Dollard, Prairie Pundit, The Real Revo, TCOT Report and Nice Deb. Thanks!

Meanwhile, Malkin is advising caution.

This is going to be good.

First it was Vidkun Quisling and Michael Potemkin in dire concert:

Erick Erickson, RedState:
Vichy Republicans
The quislings have formed a fire brigade to shoot at Cheney, Limbaugh, and others for burning down the quislings’ potemkin village.

And now we find who the ringleader is.

Scott Martin, Phoenix Conservative Examiner:
Andy Rooney being a Useful Idiot on Memorial Day, War and Peace

Uh, conservatives being stupid every day, Anna Karenina.

Bruce Thornton wrote:

Lenin called them “useful idiots,” those people living in liberal democracies who by giving moral and material support to a totalitarian ideology in effect were braiding the rope that would hang them.

…selves.

[zeerp] Hello, dum-dums.

Oh hi, Great Gazoogle. We were just…

Yes, well Lenin seems never to have said any such thing. Ta-ta!

Thanks, because it… Wait, he’s gone.

Why people who enjoyed freedom and prosperity worked passionately to destroy both is a fascinating question, one still with us today. Now the useful idiots can be found in the chorus of appeasement, reflexive anti-Americanism, and sentimental idealism trying to inhibit the necessary responses to another freedom-hating ideology, radical Islam.

Throughout Andy Rooney’s three decades on 60 Minutes, he has served as a useful idiot on behalf of nearly every enemy of freedom and anti-American idea that has come around the bend. Brilliantly, too. One minute he’s waxing romantic on the smell of old books recently found in the attic, and the next minute he’s making a seemingly reasonable statement about climate change.

Guh? The what, now?

[…] Andy Rooney’s vision of peace is a recipe for hell on Earth. It is a recipe for chains and slavery, and there is no virtue in either.

Scoring the extra point with aplomb, or rather with two or three plombs, the milk-cheeked Martin accuses Rooney, a World War II veteran, of knowing nothing about war. And does so on Memorial Day.

Brainy go kerplunksplat. More like this, please!

Shorter Bickering Wingnuts:

Rod Dreher:

“The disgusting Mark Levin”

• As opposed to Rush, Laura Ingraham, Ann Coulter, and the late great Mr. Buckley, Mark Levin is a mean-spirited, talentless hack.

Mark Levin (via S,N! favorite Dan “Tor Johnson” Riehl):

“Mark Levin On Dreher, Frum And Friedersdorf”

• Who the hell is Rod Dreher, anyway? Doesn’t he know who he’s messing with? I am Mark Levin, rightful heir to the William F. Buckley who awesomely called his debate opponent a “queer” on live teevee! So just listen to my works, ye moderate conservatives, and despair — and then put a gun to your head and pull the freakin’ trigger, you ideologically-impure, waffling-on-torture, sellout, arugula-eating, Obama-loving, terrorist-coddling, idiots BLARGH! BLARGH! I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU! I AM THE DESTROYING ANGEL OF THE AIRWAVES, AND THE TIME OF PURIFICATION IS AT HAND! BLARGH!!

Rod Dreher:

“The minor tragedy of Mark Levin”

• Civil conservatives like me are offended by gratuitous ad hominem attacks such as Mark Levin’s, which just totally goes to show that he’s a huge fraud who poops in his pants.

Robert Stacy McCain:

“The Geek at the Prom vs. Mark Levin”

• Take it from a journalist named Stacy: Rod Dreher, like all journalists, is a total wimp-pussy-fag who, if foolish enough to physically confront a man’s man like Mark Levin, would be utterly, brutally dominated in a way I would rather enjoy seeing.

Rod Dreher:

“A failed oyster called R.S. McCain”

• R.S. McCain is a silly person whose attempt to characterize me as an icky, yucky homo has me so flustered that I’m reduced to mixing metaphors while quoting from a gay cultural icon in a bizarre, Tom Friedman–cum–meets-Truman Capote sort of way.

Robert Stacy McCain:

“Rod Dreher: Truman Capote Con
The Bearded Church Lady speaketh”

• Like I was saying: Fag, wimp, pussy. Dreher’s the kind of conservative who wouldn’t have the balls to call John Edwards a faggot, or to quote Russell Kirk or John C. Calhoun, or to defend virtuous, manly Red Staters against the nasty, horrible, Obamabot liebruhls in the media who are always spewing f-bombs. Real conservatives like Ann Coulter and Mark Levin are spokespersons for the Common Man; puny fags like Rod Dreher are mere spokesfags for a few Effete “Men” who dishonestly claim to be conservatives.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™