Sadly, No!

Religion of Peace? Tell it to the flies!

Oh Kagan:

[Obama’s] strategy toward Iran places him objectively on the side of the [Iranian] government’s efforts to return to normalcy as quickly as possible, not in league with the opposition’s efforts to prolong the crisis.

You see?

The neocons’ early blight:

The conservatives believe that the Liberal Establishment has been running the country. Neoconservatives add to this general notion the belief that liberals are either a species of Stalinist fellow traveler or operate “objectively,” whether they know it or not, in the broad interest of the Soviet Union. Conservatives would like to believe this, too. But the neoconservatives, many with the benefit of a Trotskyist background, offer an unmatched authenticity and intensity on the subject.

Curiously, the notion that liberals are “objectively” contributing to the Communist cause parallels one of the most perverse notions ever advanced by the Communists. In the ultra-left Third Period of the Communist International, during the late 1920s and early 1930s, a doctrine known as “social fascism” was declared to be the basis of the movement’s politics. Liberals and Social Democrats were charged with being the “objective” allies of the fascists, but more deceitful because they pretended to be opposed to fascism by talking about democracy. This fantastic ideological dogma had the practical effect of preventing any possible coalition between the German Communists and Social Democrats against the Nazis. “After Hitler, our turn,” was the Communist slogan. In America, the proponents of “social fascism” physically assaulted the socialist followers of Norman Thomas. This was more farce than tragedy.

In an odd historical refraction, the neoconservatives regularly denounce liberals employing a tactic that bears a through-the-looking-glass resemblance to that of “social fascism.” But instead of exposing liberals as dangerously disguised agents of fascists, neoconservatives now unmask them as helpers of Communism. The chief doctrinal device used to prove the point is the notion of “moral equivalence.” Many liberals, the neoconservatives claim, criticize official policy by somehow equating the Soviet Union and America, “objectively” aiding the other side. This is “social fascism” upside down and, therefore, can be called the ideological technique of “social communism.”

Shorter Deacon and Shorter Johnny Assrocket:

ABOVE (left to right): Left urinal, middle urinal and right urinal

Paul “Shemp” Mirengoff, Powerline
Credit Where Credit Isn’t Due

• Intelligence sources relied on to corroborate Obama’s position are obviously partisan hacks and cheerleaders of the Obama fan club. Intelligence sources that Bush relied on to corroborate his beliefs, however, were unbiased career intelligence officers telling the absolute truth.

John “Moe” Hineyraker, Powerline
Credit Where Credit Isn’t Due

• Had it not been for George Bush’s invasion of Iraq, the dissident Iranians would never have been emboldened enough to demonstrate against the stolen election.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

One of the Iranian Moussavi supporters I’m following on Twitter just sent the following update:

The government now saying our protests was in support of ahmadynezhad in state TV right now! these guys are unbelievable!

This sort of thing is more common than you think, dude:

And yeah, that’s an actual 2006 campaign sign from current RNC chairman Michael Steele.

UPDATE: Anyone else consider that this was McCain’s way of preemptively showing solidarity with the Iranian dissidents last summer?

Wolverines Wolvergreens, baby!

Shorter Bob Owens and the Hee Haw Recovering Alcoholic Jug Band.:

“Brits Debut “Stab-Proof” Knives”

• Stabless knives? Sheee-it fahhr. Y’all Limey queers might as well make stringless banjos! What’s next, moonshine that won’t blind ye? Corn cobs too smooth and such ta wipe yer behind with? I’d shoot the whole lot of ya, if’n I wadn’t all laid-up with the pellagra.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

For some things, all you can say is ‘OMFG’:

Hanx: Mrs. Robinson

One of the things that’s nice about Politico’s Arena is that you can get sensible, measured commentary placed side-by-side with comical barking lunacy. Witness this jewel (emphasis mine):

Pejman Yousefzadeh, Attorney and blogger:

Events of the past few days appear to have done nothing to curb the Obama Administration’s fetish for negotiations with Iran — this despite the fact that Iran is currently in turmoil, and that if the Administration holds off on pressing for negotiations with the likes of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, it might–might–get a government in Iran more amenable to making a deal with the United States that assists both sides and improves the international security situation.

As a side note of sorts, one might add that while the Obama Administration is right to believe that an excessive degree of interventionism from the United States would likely backfire, hanging back too much would lead to deleterious results. When Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi visited the United States during the Carter Administration, anti-Shah demonstrators organized near the White House while an outdoor welcoming ceremony was being conducted. Things got out of hand, the police responded with tear gas, and unfavorable winds ensured that the tear gas drifted over to the White House–turning the entire event to a disaster. Iranians who learned about this believed that the United States could have stopped any anti-Shah demonstration if the Shah was still in the good graces of the United States. Since the demonstration went forward, they concluded that the Carter Administration had lost confidence in the Shah–allowing the revolution to go forward without fear that the United States would do anything significant to back the Shah.

Now that’s how America should go about promoting democracy — by crushing domestic dissidents in the name of foreign dictators.

Get outta here, ya maniac!

And what was your first clue that this pic was p-shopped?

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Compassionate conservatism, if it ever really existed, was snuffed out today, cremated, mingled with moldy, fetid rat droppings and scattered over the municipal trash dump of Muncie, Indiana. Poor K-Lo was busy ignoring anti-Hispanic slurs from her fellow Cornerdomites, all the while shilling for handouts in a not-so-tacit but ever-so-humiliating admission that wingnut punditry can’t survive in the free market and that unfettered capitalism, if allowed to run its course, would crush the National Review with the iron fist of market disapprobation. And then they fired her. And replaced her with Rich Lowry. And sent her back to DC.

To fully understand the humiliation involved, let’s take a look at poor K-Lo, moments before the axe, valiantly posting comments from National Review readers who reached deep into their crusty pockets to contribute a few dollars to keep Jonah from running out of Ruffles and onion dip. Like this:

From a $25 donor: “A donation from an unemployed reader and perhaps the only conservative in San Francisco. (I exaggerate — there may be eleven of us here). Thinking of moving to New Hampshire to be Steyn’s neighbor. I have had extra time to read The Corner recently, and it keeps me sane and laughing, especially while standing athwart Whole Foods, San Francisco yelling STOP!”

Now that’s dedication to your job, taking money from a victim of the economic downturn whose only remaining purpose in life is to expose the vast Demohomofascist conspiracy behind organic flatiron steaks and baby purple artichokes.

And this is her “favorite” comment:

A reader who contributed $10 said: “I just spent ten dollars on swimming pool chlorine, so I guess I could also spring for ten for NRO.”

Hey, I just spent $10 on Preparation H. I guess I could also spring for ten more to buy a few tabs of Viagra for Jay Nordlinger.

Actually, K-Lo might have already seen the writing on the wall.

In related news, it looks like the first thing Rich wants to do is allow comments at the Corner, judging from this post that disappeared from the main page but lives on in their own archives.

War is the goal of the neocon collective; more subhuman than subhuman is its motto. Always has been, always will be. Neocons have to have an external enemy, legitimate or manufactured: it gives them political power and gives them — for lack of a better phrase — personal fulfillment. War is the force that gives meaning to their lives, makes them feel part of something important. Some people collect stamps, others like to attend church; neocons fap to destruction wrought by America or Israel on “eeevildoers,” preferably dusky and Muslim.

Everyone decent reacts to the flood of news out of Iran with despair at the chaos, sympathy for the protesters, and anger toward the regime. So far, the American government has reacted cautiously and correctly. (The same, alas, cannot be said of the EU.) Everyone decent wants a legitimate, democratic Iran reformed indigenously. Everyone, that is, but the neocons, who take to geopolitical tragedy the same way that Friedmanite crapitalists take to natural disasters and buzzards take to fresh roadkill. (This tendency, by the way, explains why Richard Cheney would desire another 9/11.) Ahmadinejad’s Rove-eque campaign and Bush-esque “victory” is a perfect tragedy by which they hope to exacerbate the already considerable tensions between Iran on one side and Israel and America on the other.

Neocons want, in the old commie phrase, to heighten the contradictions. Daniel “Crack” Pipes openly roots for Ahmadinejad:

[B]etter to have a bellicose, apocalyptic, in-your-face Ahmadinejad who scares the world than a sweet-talking Mousavi who again lulls it to sleep, even as thousands of centrifuges whir away.

And:

[Ahmadinejad’s victory is] about the best result possible… it pleases me.

Max Boot, of “earthquake rays” fame, perfectly echoes Pipes, presumably even down to the rapid fapping, the smarmy grin, and the Faster Chickenhawk, Kill! Kill! heavy panting. Or as superneocon Donald Rumsfeld said, “If you cannot solve a problem, make it bigger.” Until it blows up and shitloads of people get killed. Ahmadinejad, a clown, makes the neocons’ job of warmongering easy: Michael Rubin’s and Marty Peretz’s fear of losing him is obvious. Mousavi, on the other hand, would be difficult to demonize, though it won’t stop them from trying. Tim F. has it exactly right when he says:

[F]ringe actors like al Qaeda and the neocons or Ahmadinejad and Bibi need each other for political survival. The relationship isn’t even antagostic, it’s a symbiotic mutualism. Intractable, crazy antagonists legitimize the position of extremists who oppose them.

Read the rest of this entry »

…is dream of you. You’re every thought, you’re everything. You’re every song he ever sings. And were there more than 24 hours a day, he’d spent them in Carey Roberts sweet content dreaming away:

In China, only 832 girls are born for every 1,000 boys, according to UNICEF. […] All this is driven by the relentless march of radical feminism[.]

Yes, radical feminism is without a doubt what is driving those numbers. Oh, one might wonder, what’s in it for the feminists to abort girl babies which results in a much higher number of boys being born every year? Is it perhaps part of a long-term plan to ensure that women have greater choices when it comes to selecting a husband? Ah – but Carey would surely point out that feminists hate marriage. So what’s in it for them? Je ne sais pas. So don’t ask us to explain the logic underlying that conclusion.*

I suppose that when one has identified two things (feminism and abortion) one doesn’t like, putting them together comes all too naturally. And when that same person’s best skill isn’t causal (no words on casual) relationships, one can draw all sorts of crazy conclusions. We’d imagine that if someone told Carey that feminists don’t like cheese and that the Democrats’ mascot is a donkey, he’d conclude that the New Deal worsened the Depression. As much as it pains us to point this out, Carey never got over being dumped by Marie Antoinette. So sad that it should come this. [Fixed link.]