Sadly, No!

Shorter America’s Worst Self-Employed Lawyer™, America’s Shittiest Website™ The Golden Globes: An Ugly Peek into the Real Hollywood Hollywood = Golden Globes. Golden Globes = Penis. Penis = Bad. Hollywood = Bad. Sadly, No! all-time fave Ben Shapiro, who used to be America’s Worst Law Student™, and then America’s Worst Law Firm Associate™, and now […]

Above: “Don’t open the door, Mom!” ‘Hannah Montana Does Playboy’ Trust me, even though you can’t see the crusty sock and half-empty bottle of hand lotion, I’ve totally spent myself writing this column which condemns a bunch of former Disney child stars who’ve turned into slutty teenage slutty-sluts. ‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and […]

Above: Projects an image of equal parts Damien Thorn, snot-nosed dork, and the kid who got caught fucking a sock. ‘Project President: The Hillary Clinton Image’ I’ve got a new book out on presidential image-making, so let me share my insights: Hillary Clinton’s campaign was floundering when she seemed like a dykey old hag, but […]

National Review, as is its wont, nearly raises wanking hagiography to an artform. Here come the spewy tributes to that wingnut saint, Tom DeLay: John Derbyshire: I should just like to say that I am sorry to see Tom DeLay go. He was a damn good fighting conservative, and it’s a shame. I stood up […]

As S.Z. reported earlier today, it seems Ben Shapiro is quite upset that several FBI agents are none too enthusiastic about their new assignment as the nation’s Porn Police. Say Ben, if you won’t enlist to fight in Iraq, couldn’t you at least sign up to fight porno for the FBI? Check it, they’re looking […]

After reading S.Z.’s preview of Ben Shapiro’s latest book (called The Porn Generation), I’ve decided that we need to get Ben deflowered- FAST. Let’s face it, anyone who writes about sex that much without actually having any is gonna end up killing somebody. I decided to comb through the ever-classy Boston Phoenix Adult Personal ads, […]

Shorter Ben Shapiro: Ben Shapiro, Human Wingnuts Online: If You Disagree With Obama, Are You Anti-American? It is only un-American to criticize a Republican President. In fact, it is your patriotic duty to criticize a Democrat Socialist President like Barack Hitler Hussein Lenin X Stalin Obama who threatened to invade the United Kingdom unless they […]

Oh my goodness, but this is pee-in-your-pants hilarious. Ben Shapiro, who used to be America’s Worst Law Student™, and then America’s Worst Law Firm Associate™, and then America’s Worst Unemployed Self-Employed Lawyer™, now has enough time on his hands that we wants to add another “Worst” to his collection of sobriquets: America’s Worst Movie Reviewer™ […]

Ahem. Obama’s Stimulus Creates Useless Jobs by Ben Shapiro Insert ‘Townhall columnist-slash-wingnut welfare’ joke here. Theres one reason, and one reason only, that President Barack Obamas stimulus passed so swiftly through Congress: Most Americans are worried about their jobs. And Barack Obama promises to save or create four million jobs. Even Obamas most ardent opponents […]

Above: Twink of e-vil Enough of Radical Islam Enough with the not-exterminating. It is our job to eradicate the Muslims, and to eliminate every obstacle to their destruction. ‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™ For a more thoughtful, or at least a more […]