Sadly, No!

Loyal reader Frederick, who like Star Jones is a lawyer, draws our attention to his very fine blog entry on Geneva Convention violations thought to be taking place in Iraq:

In a little-noticed development amid Iraq’s prison abuse scandal, the U.S. military is holding dozens of Iraqis as bargaining chips to put pressure on their wanted relatives to surrender, according to human rights groups. These detainees are not accused of any crimes, and experts say their detention violates the Geneva Conventions and other international laws. The practice also risks associating the United States with the tactics of countries that it has long criticized for arbitrary arrests.

Follow the link…

Link:

One of the things I keep expecting to see is an uprising of regular fed-up Iraqis. ? la Superman II, when the Krypton criminals pin Superman behind the bus and the people of Metropolis, thinking he’s dead, grab whatever they can find and say, “Let’s get ’em.” Or like in The Three Amigos, where the regular townsfolk defend their city against the bullies.

We think it would be even more wicked awesome if it was an uprising like in Independence Day, where the Iraqis find some abandoned space ship and use it to kill all the terrorists in the world. Yeah, that would be kewl.

Added: Well, that sure didn’t take long.

Referring URL
http://blog.mu.nu/cgi/mt-tb.cgi?__mode=view&entry_id=30039

PS: Where’s our $5???

This just in: John Kerry is a mimbo! Don’t believe us? Well then perhaps you should read this, from Rabbi Shmuley Boteach:

John Kerry is married to Teresa Heinz Kerry, a half billionaire, whom he married even though she was five years older than him ? a practice which, while not unheard of, is certainly highly uncommon for a man who was in his 50s.

It’s not unheard of you see, but it sure is uncommon! If John Kerry wanted to prove that he is fit to be President, he should have done what most old men do: marry a 23-year old Playboy model. How dare he marry someone roughly his age — we can’t have any of that around here. But the good Rabbi has more:

Now, before I go on, let me say immediately that speculation as to why people choose whom they marry is immoral and out of place.

Of course it is! Why, what kind of a man would engage in such speculation, when it’s so obviously immoral and out of place? The answer is: Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, that’s who!

But I mention Kerry’s predilection to marry extremely wealthy women not to question his motivation but rather to argue that this is proof that he will probably never be president.

Why not?

If there is one thing we have learned about the presidency of the United States, it is that attaining the office involves immense determination. A man who is prone to taking shortcuts won’t make it there.

A man like… George W. Bush:

George W. Bush, while born into wealth and privilege, had to summon vast spiritual resources to give up drinking and being directionless and commit himself to a demanding spiritual regimen.

Demanding spiritual regimen?

Now, having a wife who provides you with a private jet and eight multimillion-dollar vacation homes provides for a comfortable life. But is this the right preparation for becoming president?

Well, is it?

Sadly, No!

Ha ha — just kidding dear readers — the Rabbi didn’t actually say that.

To be sure, that does not mean Kerry never did an honest day’s work in his life. On the contrary, he was a successful prosecutor, lieutenant governor and distinguished senator. But even while he did these jobs, his wives’ wealth always gave him a safety net. He was going to be taken care of whether he succeeded professionally or not.

Unlike our current President of course, who always had to rely on his smarts and business sense to succeed in life, and never had to use family connections. Never. Not even once.

Alas, there is yet one other important consideration that should get us all thinking. Before they married, Teresa Heinz made John Kerry sign a prenuptial agreement. Which begs the question: If his own wife doesn’t trust him with her money, why should we trust him with ours?

So on the one hand, Kerry knows he will always be taken care of no matter what, except if his marriage falls apart in in which case not:

John and Teresa Kerry signed a prenuptial agreement and have kept their premarital assets separate. The Boston townhouse (which John Kerry mortgaged in 2003 to finance his presidential bid) is the only one of these homes that they own as a couple…

John Kerry: All he ever did was graduate from Yale, volunteer to go to Vietnam, receive a Silver Star, Bronze Star, and three awards of the Purple Heart, graduate from Boston College Law School, and work as a public prosecutor, lieutenant-governor, and Senator.

Thanks Rabbi — we’re voting for Bush in November!

Writing about Jessica Cutler (you knew she would, didn’t you?) Michelle Malkin offers this:

Cutler, who aspired to be a journalist, spouted: “I’m sure I am not the only one who makes money on the side this way: How can anybody live on $25K/year??” When I was 24 and making less than that, I did it by eating Spaghetti-O’s, Ramen noodles and Swanson pot pies for dinner; driving a Toyota Tercel with no air conditioning; and sleeping on a $30 futon. [Emphasis added.]

At the age of 24, Michelle Malkin had been a Los Angeles Daily News columnist and editorial writer for two years.

Following up on what we pretend is the great success of our Iraq Flash animation posted earlier this week, we are happy to announce that from now on every Friday will be Flash Friday here at Sadly, No! Enterprises Limited. This week’s entry will take a special look at everybody’s favorite member of the Iraqi Governing Council (no, not Abdel-Karim Mahoud al-Mohammedawi, the other favorite one.) Stay tuned…

The management will entertain special requests for subsequent animations.

Random 101st Keyboarder, last week:

Why the Prison Story is a Joke […]

Now we find out most of the abuse happened on one day. A day when a riot went down and guards were understandably upset. […]

Well, let’s get some facts straight. Those who abused prisoners at the prison are being prosecuted for crimes. Secondly, there is no evidence that I’ve seen that any Iraqis were murdered in that prison. That remains to be seen. Of course, many people on the left have already decided the U.S. is guilty of murder, as they always assume the worst about anything the U.S. does.

Today’s New York Times:

Abuse of Captives More Widespread, Says Army Survey

An Army summary of deaths and mistreatment involving prisoners in American custody in Iraq and Afghanistan shows a widespread pattern of abuse involving more military units than previously known.

The cases from Iraq date back to April 15, 2003, a few days after Saddam Hussein’s statue was toppled in a Baghdad square, and they extend up to last month, when a prisoner detained by Navy commandos died in a suspected case of homicide blamed on “blunt force trauma to the torso and positional asphyxia.”

Among previously unknown incidents are the abuse of detainees by Army interrogators from a National Guard unit attached to the Third Infantry Division, who are described in a document obtained by The New York Times as having “forced into asphyxiation numerous detainees in an attempt to obtain information” during a 10-week period last spring. […]

But the details paint a broad picture of misconduct, and show that in many cases among the 37 prisoners who have died in American custody in Iraq and Afghanistan, the Army did not conduct autopsies and says it cannot determine the causes of the deaths.

Thanks to Blair for the NYT link.

David Frum, writing on May 4 about good pal Ahmad Chalabi:

Chalabi is one of the very few genuine liberal democrats to be found at the head of any substantial political organization anywhere in the Arab world. He is not consumed by paranoid fantasies… [Emphasis added]

Ahmad Chalabi, May 23, 2004:

First of all, the charges about giving classified information to Iran by me or by any INC officer are false, non-existent. They are charges put out by George Tenet and his CIA to discredit us, and I want to go to Congress. […] It is no good quoting unnamed sources to say that they have a case. These are allegations that are put forward and directed by the CIA. […] Well, you can see the quality of the information then. Iraq is not Latin America. It’s not Honduras.

For all our freedom-hating, French-wine drinking, President-criticizing readers — this Flash animation is for you. (2.5MB.)

Thanks to Scott and Blair for their comments and Scott for technical assistance.

Following SullyWatch’s lead, we’ve always clicked on the link when the Daily Dish’s proprietor links to something that he presents as supporting something, such as:

NOT IN THE PAPERS: Jeff Jarvis does a useful summary of the Iraqi blogs. Big surprise: they’re not as gloomy as the Western press. [Emphasis added]

What does Jeff Jarvis do? Quote at length from a single Iraqi blog, a Thomas Friedman column, an article by Jay Rosen of NYU, before ending with a link to a blog run by two sisters in Florida. Some summary.

Blair draws our attention to this Daily Kos diary entry:

She needn’t have worried. Her son wasn’t suffering. In one of the several pieces of startling video exhibited for the first time in Michael Moore’s “Fahrenheit 9/11,” we catch a candid glimpse of President George Bush about 36 hours after his mother’s breakfast TV interview – minutes before he makes his own prime-time TV address to take the nation to war in Iraq. He is sitting at his desk in the Oval Office. A makeup woman is doing his face. And Bush is having a high old time. He darts his eyes about and grins, as if he were playing a peek-a-boo game with someone just off-camera. He could be a teenager goofing with his buds to relieve the passing tedium of a haircut.

Caipirinha, who posted the entry, added this:

The German news magazine Frontal21 aired the footage (made into a “silent movie” for the satiric clip of the show) in April 2003 and I’ve been sending the link to it to friends and family. It shows once more the compassionate president in action.

In our never ending quest to improve German-American relations, we offer the entire clip here in Windows Media Video format. [You know the drill: right click, save target as, …] Enjoy. (File is 4.7MB.)

PS: Thanks to Scott for technical assistance.

Added: The German captions read: