He’s a… shizzle dizzle my nizzle fizzle bizzle

Thanks to a reader (Mr. Hyde,) we find out about J.B. Williams’ (whose work we’ve mentioned in the past,) “effort.” JB is mad, as is his wont, because of gay sex, Hillary Clinton, Michael Moore, The New York Times, Europeans, atheists:

In this regard, I find Atheism to be an interesting concept. By definition, Atheism is to Religion, what cold is to hot. Scientifically speaking, there is no such thing as “cold”, only the absence of “heat”.

Funny that, because blogistically speaking there is no such thing as dumb beyond any hope of salvation, just the absence of intelligence.

Now, some have gone to great pains to create from thin air, certain perceptions in America, about America, its past, and therefore, its future. Without delving into the “who” [Michael Moore] or “why” [he’s fat], it is vital to our future as a nation, as a people, that we correct these perceptions by focusing on reality.

Reality, reveal thyself.

The first perception void of reality in America today is that we are divided down the middle. Though many use a set of ideologically acceptable numbers [!] to prove this myth, it isn’t so.

Those damn liberals and their PC numbers! Like 50-50 (2000 election) or 51-49 (2004 election.) Why doesn’t anyone have the courage to break free and say 72-28, or even 66-33?

Half of the public does not vote, we don’t know why, so we don’t know exactly what they think. The other half are closely divided, but on the basis of perceptions, not reality.

We’re divided, but not really. That’s because it’s all based on perceptions, not realities (likely related to the internets.) Or as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog once asked: “What if your tail chased you?”

The hardest part is that one must be willing, in search of the truth, the reality, rather than simply the supporting documentation for a belief already held.

While you’re out there searching for the truth, dearest readers, we ask that you consider looking for the words missing in JB’s sentence. Then again, viscously speaking, there is no such thing as incoherence, only the absence of coherence. And there’s no such thing as a sequitur, just a non sequitur.

Reportedly, only 34% of Americans believe that WMD have been found in Iraq, proving only that 66% do not know what a WMD is. This headline creates the clear perception that no WMD were found, so none existed.

“The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.” (link)

However, reality is, WMD were found, just not in the form expected by public perception.

Oh yeah, those’s were some damn bad add ass WMDs: .

The perception becomes the reality. Public perception was created, public anticipation was activated, no missiles were found, bingo, the media and dissenters were right… NO WMD in Iraq! Wrong…

Here is part of JB’s argument, diagrammed for your convenience.
(Click for a larger headache.)

Even as I write this, I can sense the ensuing lash-back from those who have either allowed themselves to be deceived, or deceived themselves. But it doesn’t change the facts, those actual occurrences supported by indisputable evidence.

Good news everybody! We have indisputable evidence that JB is a total ass.

Update: Fixed norbizness link and blacklist –S,N!

 

You got that right!

Mindful of what happened to James Wolcott, Hairy Fish Nuts does the right thing:

I think by Blogoshpere law I have to add a Sadly, No! link.

Ping!

He also has the art work that shows the stick everyone is talking about.

 

All we can do is hope the terrorists are using DOS 3.0

Things are looking up!

A new FBI computer program designed to help agents share information to ward off terrorist attacks may have to be scrapped, the agency has concluded, forcing a further delay in a four-year, half-billion-dollar overhaul of its antiquated computer system. […]

Requests for proposals for new software could be sought this spring, the officials said. The bureau is no longer saying when the project, originally scheduled for completion by the end of 2003, might be finished. […]

The prototype’s main feature allows users to prepare documents and forward them in a usable form.

Eventually, the FBI expects to have software with added features for managing records, evidence and other documents, along with the ability for users to collaborate on documents and share information online.

Gee, let’s hope that one day, if we live to be old enough, we can experience such a magical world.

 

How clueless can you get?

All is happy and gay in the Middle East, according to Opinion Journal:

Overall, Middle Eastern countries are striving to make their economies more attractive to foreign investment. Nowhere is this more apparent than in Iraq. A new foreign investment law was passed on September 2003 permitting 100% foreign ownership of firms in all sectors of the economy aside from oil and other mineral extraction.

September 2003, what does that remind us of? Oh yeah:

The US-backed Iraqi finance minister yesterday announced a sweeping package of economic reforms to open his country up to foreign investment, allowing 100-percent foreign ownership in all sectors except oil. […]

A senior US official at the Dubai meetings said the new regulations were decreed on Saturday by the US overseer in Iraq, Paul Bremer.

 

Should we win, we promise…

…to donate all of our prize money to dahonger.com.

Apparently, Sadly, No! has been nominated for Best Blog by a French-Canadian living in Germany, Most Humorous Blog, Most Viscous Blog, and Most deserving of a kick in the nuts wider recognition.

We hope we can count on your help in losing very badly, just like we did last year.

 

Nazi seems to be the hardest word

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When you get down to it, the world really is sarcasm proof:

Prince Harry is being urged to apologise in person for wearing a Nazi costume to a fancy dress party.

He apologised in a statement after being pictured in the Sun newspaper wearing the desert uniform and swastika armband.

Well, at least he didn’t wear his Saddam Hussein costume.

 

Something else to be amazingly turned on upset over

Last year* we covered John Derbyshire’s interests in pornographic stick figures. Looks like we have this year’s edition ready:

THIS HAS GOT TO BE A JOKE [KJL]

UNITED NATIONS–“The Three Amigos” — as the cartoon condoms named Shaft, Stretch and Dick are called — are pictured in a variety of settings from a spaceship to a soccer field to a casino. Twenty different spots are available in each of the 41 languages varying from 20 to 60 seconds in length. Some spots are blatantly sexual, others more restrained.

The punch line in the spaceship spot says: “No condom, No blastoff. Stop the spread of AIDS.” The soccer spot says: “You just can’t score without a condom.” And the spot focusing on a roulette wheel in a casino says: “Not all gamblers realize the odds stacked against them. Don’t gamble with your life. Use a condom. Stop the spread of AIDS.”

You might think she’s overreacting, but the truth is that poor K-Lo hasn’t been exposed to a wing-wang since that unfortunate incident with Ann Coulter, and we all know how that turned out.

* If by “last year” you mean December 2003.

 

You must remember this…

Scott McClellan, today:

MR. McCLELLAN: Oh, he indicated — he indicated, I think in his press conference, that he would be offering more specific proposals as time goes by.

Say it Scott, say it:

Q — it’s a crisis, then why not tell us the specifics as soon as possible?

MR. McCLELLAN: For the reasons we’ve stated repeatedly, that first we need to have a common understanding of the problem.

Wasn’t that understanding pretty common in 2001 according to the President?

Every one in this chamber knows that Social Security is not prepared to fully fund their retirement. And we only have a couple of years [!] to get prepared. Without reform, this country will one day awaken to a stark choice: either a drastic rise in payroll taxes or a radical cut in retirement benefits.

President Bush, February 2001:

My budget will fund our priorities, from education to defense to protecting Social Security and Medicare. It will pay down our national debt. And when we have done all that, we will still have some money left over. I strongly believe we should return that money, the leftover money, to you, the American people, in the form of tax relief. It is, after all, your money.

Same month:

That is the surplus the federal government expects to collect over the next 10 years; money left over after we have met our obligations to Social Security, Medicare, health care, education, defense and other priorities.

This reads like the boy who is sent to the store to buy milk but comes back with a 40-ounce bottle of Jack Daniel’s.

State of the Union address, 2001:

To make sure the retirement savings of America’s seniors are not diverted in any other program, my budget protects all $2.6 trillion of the Social Security surplus for Social Security, and for Social Security alone.

Someone better tell Gollum Luskin.

 

Well, he does have the right qualifications

For those playing at home, you can take part in an online chat later today about Social Security reform with Charles P. Blahous, Special Assistant to the President for Economic Policy. Chuck comes with a background that is ideally suited to economic policy:

Blahous received a Ph.D. in computational quantum chemistry from the University of California/Berkeley in 1989. He received his undergraduate degree, also in chemistry, from Princeton University in 1985.

Sounds like just the guy you want in there. Rumor has it he wanted to be an architect.

 

That seems to be about wrong

Sadly, No! loves the James Wolcott, but this?

Bernard Kerik was a guest on the show. Look what happened to him. Deep doo-doo up to his bald crown.

An isolated instance? Sadly, no.

We’d say something flippant, but truth is that we’re afraid of the poodle.