Posted on March 30th, 2006 by Brad
Because no horse is worth beating unless it’s totally dead, here are some more exclusive photos from our last trip to Baghdad:
Look, liberal media! Baghdad is working on a recycling center! Put that in your hippie crack pipe and smoke it!!!
Now let’s go in for a close-up:
They’ve got the Great Pyramid, the Colossus, the Eiffel Tower and the Colosseum? Wow! And check out that freshly-painted school right next to the Kremlin! If that ain’t success, I don’t know what is!
Posted on March 30th, 2006 by Gavin M.
Sure, CafePress is lame (not least because it has one of those ‘intercaps’ in the name — a DotCom trend that got OutOfHand and now EveryoneUsesThem without even KnowingWhy), but let’s face it: If you get an idea for a bumper sticker, no longer must you wander around wishing you had an uncle in the bumper-sticker industry. You’re there, baby.
It’s with this in mind that we’re proud to announce the existence of a still-shuttered, yet bustling CafePress StoreFront in which we’re accumulating DumbAssCrap of the nature that swirls around in our heads all day and every day, preventing us from concentrating on any but the most elementary tasks, pretty much.
For instance, this has long represented a big hole in the bumper sticker market:
And this is a natural and necessary addition to the oval Eurosticker canon:
And it’s not just stickers, but also apparel, housewares, knick-knacks, greeting cards, and other junk. There now exists a Pastor Swank wall clock, for one thing. And even uselesser things! Things that NobodyWants! Because WhyNot?
‘Mad,’ they say. ‘Joking,’ they say. We’ll see who they call mad and joking when we roll out the S,N! Mutant Attack Kitten line.
“You are madd und zhoking.”
Are not, either.
Posted on March 30th, 2006 by Gavin M.
Howard Kaloogian
Downtown Baghdad
We originally posted a photograph not of Baghdad, Iraq but from Istanbul, Turkey where our delegation traveled on the way home to the United States. We apologize for this mistake. We have corrected it with a photograph we took from Baghdad.
We took this photo of downtown Baghdad while we were in Iraq. Iraq (including Baghdad) is much more calm and stable than what many people believe it to be. But, each day the news media finds any violence occurring in the country and screams and shouts about it – in part because many journalists are opposed to the U.S. effort to fight terrorism.
Kaloogian’s campaign office also removed this Baghdad street scene:
And this photo of a troupe of the Baghdad musicians who gaily serenade the bustling nightlife that characterizes this new Mideast magnet for the pleasure-traveler.
Posted on March 29th, 2006 by Gavin M.
Howard Kaloogian,* a leading Republican running for the seat in Congress recently vacated by indicted Rep. Randy “Duke” Cunningham. . .posted on the official Web site for his campaign a picture taken in “downtown Baghdad,” he said, during his visit to the city, which supposedly indicated that the media was wrong about the level of violence in the city. “We took this photo of downtown Baghdad while we were in Iraq,” he wrote. “Iraq (including Baghdad) is much more calm and stable than what many people believe it to be. But, each day the news media finds any violence occurring in the country and screams and shouts about it – in part because many journalists are opposed to the U.S. effort to fight terrorism.”
In less than a day, it was over. “Jem6X” at the popular DailyKos blog confirmed the street scene was in Istanbul, not Baghdad.
Tipped off by someone who recognized the actual intersection in Istanbul, Jem went through online photo galleries and in a matter of minutes today found a snap taken by a “Faruk” that lined up with the “Baghdad” photo in numerous conclusive ways. Game, set, and match to the blogosphere.
A faked photo? This is a big day for the Internet’s premier suspicious-photo pointer-outer and tireless photo-fakery obsessive.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on March 29th, 2006 by Gavin M.
Remember we pledged to help Jonah with his research?
EXCITING NEWS (FOR ME). [Jonah Goldberg]
As this will be the first summer in years where my lovely bride will not be tied to an office, the fair Jessica and I have decided to escape as much of the DC summer as possible, this time for an extended excursion. We will probably be staying with relatives in the Pacific Northwest again at the end of the summer, but we’d like to take the scenic route getting there. Now that I have my wireless doohickey, I can really work from anywhere. I’d like to do more road-blogging as I did awhile back anyway. So we’re thinking of taking the Southern route. Specifically we want to spend some time in the Southwest, probably New Mexico but Colorado or Utah might be in the cards too. It depends on finances etc. But we’d really like to find a little place to rent for an extended stay where we can work and still do extended stays etc. A meet-up or two might be in the cards as well. Anyway, for those of you with tips about places to stay, visit, rent, and so on. please send them along to [email protected].
If anyone knows of any highways-to-nowhere haunted by ghosts, regions plagued by mosquitoes, run-down motels with a dark and baleful history, or simply any imaginary places or attractions that could lead to great hardship or inconvenience, that address again is: [email protected].
Actually, here’s one fine short-term rental property.
There are a few stains on the flooring where Hitchens chucked a dummy suddenly detumesced and marinated in a pool of his own making for a few days, but that’s all among friends. Lots of old-old copies of Commentary in the cellar, too.
[Thanks: Elon Green]
Bradrocket takes a break from work to add: Could someone please send Jonah the address of the Hotel Torgo? Thanks.
“I’m suh-sorry, Mr. Goldberg, but The Master wouldn’t approve of you eating his entire box of ho-ho’s…”
Posted on March 29th, 2006 by Travis G.
I call it the hot dog tree because … it’s a hot dog tree.
I’ve been invited to drag this semi-popular feature over here from my regular gig, to help pass the time while Brad deals with his sex life. Readers are encouraged to vote for the biggest wiener, whom I present with the coveted Plateful of Wieners. (The award is a mere formality until a delivery mechanism for the Wienergram is perfected.)
Why wieners? It’s fun to say, for one thing (“wiener�), and I’ve got this picture. And you know how, in the Bible, Adam and Eve aren’t supposed to eat from the Tree of Knowledge? God warns them and warns them not to eat one of those delicious-looking apples, or they’ll be evicted from the Garden of Eden for being too smart. If Townhall were a tree, it would probably be laden with, like, artery-clogging wieners that would make you stupider.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on March 29th, 2006 by
Since the “News for Iraqis” is obviously too negative for wingnuts, we present: News for Parrots Wingnuts:
BAGHDAD, Iraq Mar 29, 2006 (AP) — Gunmen lined up 14 employees of an electronics trading company in Baghdad on Wednesday and shot them all, killing eight and wounding six, police said. […]
No wingnuts were involved.
The assault Wednesday was the second to target a trading company in Mansour this week. On Monday, gunmen wearing military uniforms and masks kidnapped 16 employees from the headquarters of the Saeed Import and Export Co. Police said the assailants went through papers and computer files before leaving with their captives.
None of them were indigenous to Wingnutia, cut their own hair, or ate pieces of shit for breakfast… Yum Yum.
[link]
Posted on March 29th, 2006 by Brad
Work is skull-fucking me in the ass right now, so it’ll be a few days before I post again.
In the meantime, I’ll simply note that Arctic Monkeys sound like a shitty Franz Ferdinand, who themselves are just Gang of Four with better pop sensibilities (not that there’s anything wrong with that, mind you).
Also, the Flaming Lips’ new album is teh wicked awesome.
[Gavin adds: MB from Wampum says to please stop using the secret mailbombing weapon to send Koufax votes — and adds the crushing detail that more votes seem to have arrived after voting closed, on Sunday, than in the previous 500 million weeks since the finalists were announced.]
[sobbing]
Posted on March 28th, 2006 by Gavin M.
Scott McClellan: “Oh, Ken, did you hear yet? Andy’s out.”
Ken Mehlman: “Yay! We’re all going out for Mojitos tonight! …Ooh, bad Kenny. Mojitos are for summer.
Scott McClellan: “Shh! Shut up, you bitch! I mean he’s ‘spending more time with his family.'”
Ken Mehlman: “Oh, Claude Allen ‘out.’ Well, shut your own k-hole then. Is it my fault if you have the diction of a Texas rodeo bum? We must send a sympathy card to his wife. Except, oh maybe she already is the Sympathy Card, ha-ha.”
Karl Rove hurries past.
Ken Mehlman: “K-Ro’s wearing the oomba-moomba pants again, Scott.”
Scott McClellan: “You’re a peculiar old squaw.”
Posted on March 27th, 2006 by Brad
Many, many, many thanks to Clif for reminding me that Pastor Joseph Grant Swank, everyone’s favorite preacher/Internet loon, has resumed writing his critically acclaimed (by me, anyway) “I Believe in Miracles” series. Hooray! Let’s check out this week’s super-inspiring miracle, called “Guided.”
I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES: GUIDED
By J. Grant Swank, Jr.
I am confused.
We’ve noticed.
Michael was such a handsome fellow. I think he had the broadest, most sincere smile I have ever seen.
I remember my teen friend working out at the “Y”. He was lifting weights. His T shirt was off. He looked down at his slender teen arms and complained, “They’re so skinny. I’ve got to get some muscle.”
What he did not realize is that the arms were not skinny; they were trim, perfect.
Whoa! I had no idea you were talking about that kind of confusion, Pastor Swank! Bow-chicka-illegal!
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