Posted on January 4th, 2007 by Travis G.
I’m afraid Two-Minute Townhall will remain on hiatus for at least another week, as I’m in Minnesota training for my new job. I hope to return to my regular schedule in another week or so.
Posted on January 3rd, 2007 by
Along the lines of NYSOC, here comes Grand Papa Roberts to reveal that the Republicans lost the 2006 elections because of “feminist operatives” on Bush’s team:
White men represent 45 million of the U.S. electorate. In 2000, 60% of them pulled the handle for George W. Bush. In 2004 Bush fared even better, winning 62% of the white male vote. In both elections, it was this group that allowed Mr. Bush to grab the brass ring.
But then Mr. Bush looked the other way as feminist operatives throughout his administration stiff-armed this key electoral block.
So you know this is for real, Carey links to this piece which reveals that John Bolton’s press aide was Peggy “Sister of John” Kerry. Clearly, UN press aides yield a lot more power than most people think!
Recently (Dr. Mark) Klein ran a full-page advertisement in the Washington Times, complaining that the Republican party is “totally in the back pocket of radical feminists.”
Also, Democrats are totally in Pat Robertson’s back pocket.
Klein’s message resonates deeply with many disaffected Americans.
Nothing like that 125-149 male demographic.
Looking back, it’s hard to imagine a more inept political strategy.
Ah! I see you have the machine that goes “ping.” *
Posted on January 3rd, 2007 by
Strange Forces sends us an email which reads in part:
This is awesome with awesome sauce.
Rep.-elect Keith Ellison, the first Muslim elected to Congress, found himself under attack last month when he announced he’d take his oath of office on the Koran — especially from Virginia Rep. Virgil Goode, who called it a threat to American values.
Yet the holy book at tomorrow’s ceremony has an unassailably all-American provenance. We’ve learned that the new congressman — in a savvy bit of political symbolism — will hold the personal copy once owned by Thomas Jefferson.
Posted on January 3rd, 2007 by Brad
My New Year’s resolution is to read a lot more Mark Noonan. The guy gets funnier and funnier by the day.
Above: The stairs in Mark Noonan’s house.
Just check out today’s masterwork, where he again argues that losing both branches of Congress will be good for the Republicans:
We Republicans should be of good cheer – remember, these are Democrats; they will blow it. This is especially true as the leadership of the Democratic Party is mostly kook-leftist these days. As the Party of Congressional opposition, we’ll have the fun task of picking to pieces every action of the Congress and pointing out how mind-bogglingly stupid it is.
Hey, Mark? The Dems may do some stupid shit over the next couple of years. But let’s be honest- nothing they do could ever top shit like this (my emphasis):
Bill Frist (R-Tenn.), a renowned heart surgeon before becoming Senate majority leader, went to the floor late Thursday night for the second time in 12 hours to argue that Florida doctors had erred in saying Terri Schiavo is in a “persistent vegetative state.”
“I question it based on a review of the video footage which I spent an hour or so looking at last night in my office,” he said in a lengthy speech in which he quoted medical texts and standards.
Yes, mercifully the days of diagnosis-by-video-footage on the Senate floor are over.
Posted on January 2nd, 2007 by
Cliff “Friend of Youppi” Kincaid figures he’s caught Osbama* in a flip-flop-flaperoo:
Having said that he opposed the war in the first place, he now favors “a phased redeployment of American troops from Iraqi soil.” But he doesn’t provide any details.
Yes, because if you opposed the war the last thing you would favor is getting the troops out of Iraq. And if only he provided more details like, “we are winning” or “we will see this through.”
Kincaid adds, in the same article, written on December 29, 2006:
He had wanted this “drawdown” to begin by 2006. Now he wants the “drawdown” in 2007.
Right, Obama probably forgot all about his time travel machine and superhero powers which would have allowed him to have such a “drawdown” begin in the last 48 hours of the year.
PS: Frist in 2007! Suckers!
* Damn you, Colt 45. (Twice, argh!)
Posted on December 31st, 2006 by Brad
Posted on December 31st, 2006 by Brad
So I stupidly assumed that because Atrios gave up so quickly in our last skirmish that he’d be a pushover this time. I was wrong. Drastically, horribly wrong. The musical stylings of Rick Wakeman were so appalling that they broke our damn website, and we haven’t been able to recover since.
So you win this round, Atrios. When next we meet, I shall make sure not to underestimate your strength.
And now, here is my official surrender anthem, sung by a Japanese Cheap Trick cover band:
Posted on December 30th, 2006 by Brad
WOOP, WOOP, WOOP! ALERT, ALERT! Atrios is in our base! And he is positively slaughtering our d00dz!
There is only one weapon that can save us now. It may destroy the entire world in the process, but I’d rather die than surrender to Mr.-I’m-Too-Kewl-to-Name-Bradrocket-Wanker-of-the-Day!
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a scene from Jekyll and Hyde: The Musical… starring David Hasselhoff!!!!!
UPDATE: Gentlewoman doesn’t think I have the stones to see this war through to its bitter end.
Hey Gentlewoman, let me introduce you to a friend of mine… named Bibleman!
Posted on December 30th, 2006 by Brad
Just in time for New Year’s, here comes YouTube War III. For those of you rolling your eyes at the thought of watching still more shitty music videos (you know who you are), let me remind you that Atrios started it, it’s all his fault, and I therefore bear no responsibility for anything I do. I’m very mature like that.
To start off, here’s four minutes of Scott Stapp sitting in a boat, trying desperately to take a dump:
Next up, we have a feisty anti-separation-of-church-and-state country ballad defiantly called “In God We Still Trust”:
Posted on December 30th, 2006 by Brad
Welp, Saddam is dead, and I’m not sorry to see him go. I am sorry, however, that his death came at the expense of 3,000 Americans (and counting) and hundreds of thousands of Iraqis (and counting). But whatev, it’s party party party time, and the warbloggers have giant boners. Let the circle-jerk commence.
UPDATE: Teh Josh:
This whole endeavor, from the very start, has been about taking tawdry, cheap acts and dressing them up in a papier-mache grandeur — phony victory celebrations, ersatz democratization, reconstruction headed up by toadies, con artists and grifters. And this is no different. Hanging Saddam is easy. It’s a job, for once, that these folks can actually see through to completion. So this execution, ironically and pathetically, becomes a stand-in for the failures, incompetence and general betrayal of country on every other front that President Bush has brought us. […]
The Iraq War has been many things, but for its prime promoters and cheerleaders and now-dwindling body of defenders, the war and all its ideological and literary trappings have always been an exercise in moral-historical dress-up for a crew of folks whose times aren’t grand enough to live up to their own self-regard and whose imaginations are great enough to make up the difference. This is just more play-acting.
Can I get a “heh-heh?” Can I get an “in-DOO-DOO?”
UPDATE THE SECOND: I see our pal Atrios is asking for a special New Year’s beating. You may remember what happened the last time he challenged our powers. This time shall be no different. An attack is in the works, mark my words.
UPDATE THE THIRD: Roy Edroso is in Rob Dreher’s base killing his d00dz. Plus, S.Z. is Marie Jon”s new BFF. Lucky. Her.