Posted on July 9th, 2007 by D. Aristophanes
Wingnut logic, it has been said, is a most peculiar sort of animal. It frequently wears its insides on the outside, which is disgusting. It barks most loudly at the absence of a threat.
And it breeds like fucking rabbits.
So in recent days, Gavin has been documenting the Dixie Doodle Dandy’s bizarre campaign to convince us that the Associated Press secretly wants the United States to give up in Iraq. But oddly, by Triple D’s meticulous reasoning, the AP is systematically downplaying the improving situation in Iraq by … wait for it … suppressing news about marauding bands of al Qaeda terrorists killing off entire Iraqi villages.*
It’s hard to argue with logic like that. It’s much simpler to just watch it shambling down the sidewalk, muttering under its breath and picking its beard for invisible spiders. And it’s downright easy-as-pie to walk right across the road and let somebody else deal with the wild gesticulations and flecks of spit.
Nobody ever accused us of taking the easy way out.
No, we’ll keep seeking out the dementia, pointing, and in most cases, laughing. But it’s worth exploring the meta-narrative of all this, before we move on to muck out the next stall in the Augean stables of horse’s ass that is the Wingnutosphere.
To wit: Doesn’t it seem like just yesterday when wingnut complaints about MSM perfidy re: The!War!On!Evil! actually had some kind of internal consistency? Back then, as now, it was a given that the MSM wanted the terrorists to win. So, the argument went, they didn’t report all the school raisings and pony rides breaking out across the Iraqi countryside.
At least that made some sense, in a total-fucking-lie kind of way.
Well, we’ve come full circle. Now it appears that things are humming along so swimmingly in Iraq that the treasonous libtard media don’t want you to know about all the bloody massacres and bombings and firefights that are really happening and that just proves that the Dhimmicrats hate George Bush more than they love the country and everybody but me and Bill Kristol wants the terrorists to win and … look out! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! IT’S JAMIL MUTHAFUKKIN HUSSEIN!!!
Clearly, it will be astonishing if we do not hear about al Qaeda rape rooms within the next Freidman Unit.
The question then, is what was the tipping point? When exactly did the go-to wingnut complaint morph from “the media’s not reporting enough on all the new schools”** to “the media’s not reporting enough on all the descending into an ever-widening spiral of horrific violence”? Personally, I think the specific moment-in-time we are looking for is this one. Because when a citizen journalist of Michelle Malkin’s stature cackles about her victory over the Associated Press (and Jamil Hussein) after actually witnessing with her own eyes and filming the giant fucking hole in the roof of the mosque whose destruction she then claims to debunk … well that just opens the floodgates.
No amount of insanity is off limits after that. Quite simply, the race is on to declare the Earth flat … flatter … flatterest!
And so we come to Ace of Spades, who cannot wrap his mind around the idea that things are getting worse in Iraq. By way of Jules Crittendon, ol’ Ace gets mighty het up over an editorial in the New York Times:
The NYT says that an American withdrawal could make Iraq “bloodier” and “more chaotic” and invite “power grabs” by Iran. And yet, despite this statement that a withdrawal will make Iraq worse off, they then assert:
… But Americans must be equally honest about the fact that keeping troops in Iraq will only make things worse.
Ah. So if we leave, Iraq will become worse, but we must be “honest” about the fact that keeping our troops there will also “make things worse.”
It seems Ace cannot comprehend that conditions in Iraq are getting worse, and serious observers predict it will just keep getting worse, no matter what we do, because such is the utter fucking catastrophe we have unleashed on that country.
So let’s make it easier for him: See, Ace, if a vagina mostly resembles Play-Doh, it’s totally gross. But here’s the catch — even if it mostly seems like bacon … it’s still really, really icky.
Counter-intuitive, I know. But true.
*Interestingly, Peckerwood Q. Carpetbagger and his pals never question one rather suspicious portion of Michael Yon’s “Bless the Beasts and Children” account. Which is the bit where it all starts off with U.S. and Iraqi military bombing a small village — “The firefight progressed. American missiles were fired.” — and reaches its climax with the discovery the next day by Yon and the troops of a dozen or so bodies in shallow graves, and everyone else having disappeared. Not saying those two events are necessarily related, but … well, it might be useful to recall how some other people in small villages have historically reacted when American bombs have rained down death and fire upon them.
**And why has no wingnut thought to counter the embarrassing absence of all those new schools with a syrupy tribute to the Iraqi commitment to homeschooling? Because they have no fucking imagination, that’s why. Assrocket, I’m looking at you … that bit of flim-flam would be right up your alley.
