Sadly, No!

Previously on Sadly, No!

Here we thought all along that the rising number of teenage pregnancies was something to be concerned about. Shows what we know! It turns out to be electoral gold!

For now, we’ll just sit back and enjoy these comments relating to the pregnancy of another teenager.

O.K., while teen idol Jamie Lynn Spears, […] “takes some time for herself” and waits for her “love child” with the now ex-love, perhaps Nickelodeon could be prevailed upon to remove her from her mega-hit TV show, Zoe 101. […] But when a very visible 16 year old TV star gets pregnant, perhaps she is not a really good role model for all of those tween girls across America, who constitute the show’s audience. Perhaps consequences beyond baby showers are in order. I am not suggesting that she be whipped, or made to wear a scarlett A, or given lashes. I am, however, saying that perhaps there is some “moral turpitude” clause that might take her out of the public eye, and away from all those admiring 12 year olds who think Zoe/Jamie Lynn is cool, a TV show cooler, and all that money and freedom coolest of all.

Mike Huckabee — here is a crusade for you. Go for it. You’ll get the parent vote, the anti-Hollywood vote, and more consideration from non-Evangelical cultural conservatives. —Lisa Schiffren

I want to see Mitt re-dub the “Strong Values” commercial so he says, “Marriage must come before children… Got that, Jamie Lynn Spears?” —Jim Geraghty

But we must stop and wonder aloud: Why would such a successful girl, a rare cultural icon of seeming virtue, not want more of herself? Why wouldn’t she have the confidence and self-respect to do something other than what, supposedly, everyone else does? I’m glad she had her baby, but why did she have to get pregnant in the first place? There are other fun opportunities for a single young person, on TV or off, than to be led by her hormones — or his — into sex and pregnancy before she’s ready. […] A single person can live a full, happy, busy, fulfilling life without sex. Too many young people don’t know this, and are instead chasing a happiness that often turns into a very sad story. —K-Lo!

Jamie Lynn Spears pregnant and you know oh well, sometimes things just happen right? That shouldn’t disqualify Jamie’s mom from writing a book on parenting. I mean she’s always been a good kid right? Never missed a curfew right? So mom let’s the 19 year old boyfriend move in – its all good. Friends sometimes we need judgement in making choices as parents. —Kevin McCullough

Kevin gets bonus points for this gem:

(And if Palin was really the political pragmatist that the Kosidiots claim they simply could have provided her an abortion – and the evidence would be neatly disposed of.)

Now, we don’t belong to that particular school of thought — but is Kevin really trying to say that it’s pretty impressive (in a good sort of way), that the Palins didn’t opt to murder (since that’s what they call it) their unborn child and “neatly dispose of the evidence” (i.e. dump the fetus)? Apparently yes, because Kevin adds:

The truth is – even in the way the Palins have responded to this trial, they have again proved themselves the kind of couple that will do us proud in the Old Executive office building in Washington DC.

Well, we blame the whole thing on the Clenis:

A teenager who grew up during the Clinton presidency relates his perception, and the likely consequences, of the dichotomy between the Clinton legacy and the mainstream teaching of parental values. […] It leads to a conclusion that all too often parents prostituted those principles, turning a blind eye to the scandals while sending a confusing mixed message to their progeny. Ultimately it is the very fabric of society that has suffered. For children the waters were muddied as to right and wrong. It was a time that exposed the hypocrisy of parental guidance demonstrating compromised standards, preaching lofty goals while falling short themselves. Nothing is a bigger turn off to a kid than this “do as I say not as I do” mentality.

Guess what Alaska-Terrorism-Treasongate has made the GOP scrub from their convention website.

No really, guess.

Above: “Country First.”

Above: “Uh, unless you want to renounce your country. Big tent here, people.”

Cf.

Shorter Byron York:

Why the Palin Baby Story Matters

• The Republican base was skeptical about John McCain’s presidential credentials until he made the statesmanlike move of adding a pregnant teenager to the ticket.

Shorter Frank Gaffney:

Palin’s Experience

• For now, we can only guess whether Sarah Palin is a member in good standing of our little bugfuck crazy cult of shitting ourselves over America’s impending dhimmitude, but circumstantial evidence suggests she knows the secret handshake. PS: She totally does. PPS: There is a Muslim with a beheading knife under your bed. PPPS: Almost forgot — they have invisibility powers. PPPPS: But you’re in luck! For a limited time, my latest book, ‘War Footing: 10 Steps America Must Take to Prevail in the War for the Free World’, comes with science-proven Invisible Muslim DetectorSpecs® included. PPPPPS: Buy my book or face beheading. PPPPPPS: By invisible Muslims under your bed.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

…But are murders from plastic explosives deals gone bad the only suspicious deaths that have littered the career of Sarah Palin?

One would imagine that many freezings-to-death and small airplane mishaps are also suspect, as well as maulings by polar bear and skeletonizings by ravening salmon — and who knows what else?

These Palin/McCain ties to domestic terrorists grow continually more shocking.

ABC News reports on the Palin/McCain Plan to Divide America :

As part of their pushback against the charges of Lynette and Dexter Clark of the AIP [separatist party], the McCain campaign [wrongly] says that Palin did not even attend the AIP convention in Wasilla in 1994.

You know what this means: A few years from now, they’ll be pointing to the speakers list of the 2008 Republican Convention, and trying to be all like, “See? According to this, President Bush wasn’t even a member of the Republican Party.”

Here we thought all along that the rising number of teenage pregnancies was something to be concerned about. Shows what we know! It turns out to be electoral gold!

Mike’s Noise explains it all in simple terms for the benefit of us liberal retards:

“Palin Derangement Syndrome” illustrates the Left’s poor comprehension of Christian ethics

… Today Sarah Palin publicly announced that Bristol is, in fact, unmarried and pregnant. But she plans to marry the father, a young man who has been her high school sweetheart for over a year now, and the couple will keep their baby. This is simply yet another example of the rugged ordinariness of the Palin family, and why they resonate so deeply with middle America.

Barack Obama, meanwhile, has said he doesn’t want his daughters having babies before they’re ready. What a maroon! Try resonating deeply with middle America with that one, elitist!

Observing the continuous, glittering string of failures suffered by the Left as they attempt to attack Sarah Palin’s character, one might ask, how can the Left be so mistaken about the core values of Sarah Palin’s supporters?

Because they change on a dime? Because “getting Republicans elected no matter what” isn’t a value that’s easily comprehended by the feckless Left? Or is it because we’re all Nazis?

Let me reintroduce you to this propitious quote from Jonah Goldberg’s Liberal Fascism:

Oh. Nazis.

Here’s the deal — we traditionalists teach abstinence to our children primarily so that our sons and daughters won’t end up being gigolos, whores and tramps.

When berating the wee ones at the Aristophanes household, we sometimes toss in ‘Jezebels,’ ‘abominations,’ and ‘Unclean! Unclean!’ to spice things up.

None of the support for Sarah Palin and her daughter has anything to do with Evangelicals suddenly “approving of” or “ignoring” the promiscuity of a seventeen year old simply because her mother is a Republican. Rather, it has everything to do with what the family has chosen to do next.

Of course. Why, Bristol and Levi (Bristolvi? Blistorvol? Lebristvoli?) are practically the Waltons already. You can almost smell the paint on the white picket fence enclosing their cozy little home, where all the kids and grandkids are gathered to celebrate mom and dad’s 50 years of wedded bliss. Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy, eat your hearts out!

Unfortunately, too many teenage mothers come from broken homes or families void of any kind of real spiritual guidance. It is always a shame to see runaway sexuality in those situations — those girls seem to have latched on to the “pleasurable experience” aspect of feminist sexuality, without bothering to trouble themselves with the birth control part. Understood in those terms, progressive sex education is certainly as much — probably more — of a failure than abstinence education.

Note to self: Find out exact date that feminists conspired to make sex pleasurable, build time machine, go back and stop that from ever happening. Meanwhile, thank God that Republican teenage parents derive no pleasure whatsoever from sex. Take heed, youngsters! Only a workmanlike approach to fucking will inoculate your infant from the Satan Virus!

But if you ask me, the ambient cigarette-smoking and Schlitz-drinking is just gilding the lily.

Above: Allegedly genuine photo of presumptive Republican VP candidate

Cf.
Cf. original photo (reversed above).
Cf. other original photo.

Tintin adds: I’m pretty sure this is photoshopped, but either way it says volumes about Palin’s vapid sloganeering.

Screw it, I just can’t.

Amy Alkon now:

What’s Worse Than Having Everybody In Your High School Talking About You?

Having a good part of the western world doing it, like some on the left are to Palin’s poor teenage daughter. …

Leave the kid alone.

Amy Alkon then:

The way I see it, there should be plenty of shaming for any woman whose desire to have a cute little thing in her life supercedes the best interest of a child.

And:

You are what you do.

Tarika Wilson was a bad mother.

And:

And I know, all many people require in parents is a working sperm shooter and working ovaries, but to me, that’s not parenting, it’s a recipe for fucking out little tragedies with legs.

And:

If this woman cared about children, she would’ve had them in the best environment possible for the children to have successful, healthy, happy lives: Waiting until she was a mature adult with a career and a husband to move to a safe neighborhood and have one or two children, which she would raise with great care, teaching them morality, and taking them to the dentist, and seeing that they weren’t in harm’s way, around drug dealers.

And finally:

I happen to be a libertarian. I call myself a personal responsibilitarian. Personal and community responsibility are what I’m calling for here. Yeah, how terrible, how cruel, how disgusting of me.

A note to my regular commenters: Should I ever go soft in this department, please kick me back to terrible, cruel, etc.

Amy’s regular commenters have their orders, at any rate.

This is an actual post over at Larry Johnson’s NoQuarter blog. You cannot make this shit up:

Party Time with the Democratic Party’s Presidential Ticket

By SusanUnPC

Is Barack Obama compensating for his despair over the latest CNN Poll — that shows Obama in a dead heat with McCain, and with ZERO convention bounce — by taking other peoples’ food? Seems that presidential nominee Barack Obama helped himself to a pile of chicken wings he didn’t buy and he didn’t order.

The image — from a press pool report yesterday in Hamilton, Indiana — shows a desperately hungry Obama voraciously tearing into other people’s chicken wings. […]

We’ve all wondered why Obama looks so skinny. I guess we know why now: He’s reduced to stealing food in order to eat!

The amazing mix or racism and stupidity on display here is quite impressive. Thanks for bringing this to our attention, Larry.

[And thanks to reader Tom for sending us the link.]