‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Gavin adds: Does it ever seem to anyone as though Glenn “Porkbuster” Reynolds, the small-government libertarian, plays his readers for rubes?
Mark “Daddy Bear” Steyn must be afraid that his den of bear cubs will run off and find other daddy bears on eHarmony, because there is no other explanation as to why the agreement of eHarmony to provide its services to teh gays would have him so worked up:
This doesn’t seem an encouraging development:
The Pasadena-based dating website, heavily promoted by Christian evangelical leaders when it was founded, has agreed in a civil rights settlement to give up its heterosexuals-only policy and offer same-sex matches.
…
“That was one of the things I asked for,” said Eric McKinley, 46, who complained to New Jersey’s Division on Civil Rights after being turned down for a subscription in 2005.
I don’t know Mr. McKinley’s taste in men, but this would have been a less predictable case had he attempted to acquire a Muslim boyfriend at, say, singlemuslim.com.
Apparently, Steyn believes that if you are gay and try to join a Moooslim site, not only do they refuse your membership, but also they send an imam to your house to push you off a cliff. Well, as we say here . . . Sadly, No!. Gays apparently can post profiles at singlemuslim.com
[T]he eHarmony settlement is like a meat-eater going to a vegetarian restaurant and demanding a ribeye.
Or a black person going to a white restaurant and asking for some chicken wings.
The “tolerance” enforcers are jeopardizing the very possibility of any shared societal space.
Because under the settlement all straight people on eHarmony are now going to be forced to have at least one gay date complete with butt sex and interior design tips.
Doop-de-doop, mindin’ my own business, readin’ National Review.
Cruise Review [Jonah Goldberg]
Many thanks to Katie at KabukiVillage for her very flattering write-up of the NR Cruise and yours truly. There are pictures from the sea, for those interested.
Oh right, it’s time again for the National Review Cruise, a font of humor that comes often to the leftward side of the Internet and that, I’m sorry, is simply never any less funny than the time before. Pirates! Lifeboat cannibalism! Stewards slinking from K-Lo’s cabin with shoes in hand! The pool scene from Caddyshack!
Johann Hari’s piece on the July, 2007 cruise is currently the one of record, and personally, as such things go, my favorite National Review Cruise is always the next one. But let’s see what Katie-at-KabukiVillage has to say.
Laugh, and the world laughs with you….and it is just more fun
When I bought Jonah Goldberg’s book, Liberal Fascism, months ago, it would have been much easier to buy it in suburbia. But I waited…waited until I knew I would be in Manhattan for the day…a day when I could purchase it at the book store at Grand Central (making sure to ask the clerk where it was even though it was on a table in the center of the store…just because I knew it would drive the guy nuts) and could then carry it throughout my day of meetings.
Passive aggressive? You betcha (h/t Gov. Palin); and a whole lot of fun. Yes, yes, I would keep Freud very busy.
Whoah, not so fast there! For those who didn’t catch the reference, ‘Freud’ is the psychology guy who liked to figure out crazy people. It’s great to spice up your lingo with trivia references, but fair or not, people do judge you by the words you use. And confusing is never effective! So before you drop an apple core in the trash basket and say “Watch out, Sir Isaac Newton,” you might want to “get a brain, Einstein,” and let your audience off the bang I just shot myself through the head.
[end credits, commercial for Sham-Wow with the young carnival-barker guy wearing the headset, FreeCreditReport.com commercial with the guy on the bicycle, promo for upcoming holiday episode of Stargate: Atlantis, roll opening credits]
Hi, it’s me again. We’re moving too fast. Let’s back up.
But I waited…waited until I knew I would be in Manhattan for the day…a day when I could purchase it at the book store at Grand Central (making sure to ask the clerk where it was even though it was on a table in the center of the store…just because I knew it would drive the guy nuts) and could then carry it throughout my day of meetings.
This is the personality type that voted for Bush in 2000 to “stick it to the liberals,” and then voted for Bush in 2004 wetting their pants over the global foreign Islam terror jihad threat, but then recovered their senses in time to vote for McCain/Palin in 2008, to “stick it to the liberals.”
For in prosperous times when fortune smiles upon the Union, the abiding purpose of the spite caucus is to stick it to the liberals. In times of uncertainty, such as the great and encompassing uncertainty that we now find ourselves confronting, they find ways to blame the liberals for everything bad that happens and devise new solutions by punitively sticking it to them. In their imagined perfect world — i.e., without liberals to stick it to — they would stand around sticking it to them vicariously, while farms ran fallow and airplanes plummeted to the ground and cities fell awash under waves of seawater, as the dollar came to incite thin laughter in Asian bank moguls and as the very furniture was being carted out of their defaulted houses by sheriff’s officers. Others of their tribe would stand on the sidewalk as the tables and chairs filed sadly past, whisperingly accusing the defaulted homeowners of being liberals. The sheriff’s men would eye the liberals on the sidewalk with a mind toward sticking it to them.
Let’s look at this woman’s big day on the town. She created a multi-stage pageant out of buying a copy of Goldberg’s Liberal Fascism — a book devised as though on the spot at a cocktail party, as an insouciant one-liner from a half-drunk Jonah to some cornball editor he was trying to impress (Adam Bellow, let’s imagine), which was then delivered only after years of flop sweat, excruciating mental gymnastics, and probably genuine debilitating mental depression, because as Jonah knew at the time (and as he probably knows still during certain late nights and lonely self-encounters), while its concept is guaran-freaking-teed to make liberals hop-hop-hoppingly mad, it cannot stand as a serious book because it is premised on an absurdity. So here she’s like, “Tee-hee, my plan begins by loudly asking for this book at Grand Central Station, just in case there’s a liberal nearby to whom I’d be sticking it.” It’s like those Mexican guys in Los Angeles with the bouncy cars: On the surface it just looks silly, but then you consider the industry and determination on display — step by step from concept to technical execution — in installing custom hydraulic systems in order to bounce up and down in their car all pocketa-pocketa while scowling at you at a random stoplight, and it’s genuinely sort of terrifying. What sort of people would do this, and by God, what else are they capable of?
Mad Max and the Meltdown: How we went from Christmas to crisis
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Via.
I’ve read so much gobshite retarded wingnuttery over the past… God, how many years has it been? Anyway, the point is that I’ve read so many stupid arguments in my lifetime that it takes a lot to surprise me. Henninger’s attempt to link the financial crisis to the War on Christmas actually did surprise me and I hope to God that Bill O’Reilly and Michelle Malkin start talking about it soon.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Shorter Michael M. Bates*
Above: Is it me, or does “Goldwater supporter”
always seem like some weird swinger euphemism?
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
* “Winner, 2007 Illinois Press Association Award for Original Column.” (Cf.)
They are begging for money again at America’s Shittiest Website™ and it appears to have caused a bit of an uprising among their target audience of call-center employees, gun collectors, survivalists, and under-medicated paranoid schizophrenics. A number of potential contributors this year have objected strenuously to sending any more of their monthly disability payments to K-Lo, the Pantload, and those other exemplars of erudition over at National Review just to be wasted on cruise ship cocktails and shore-leave tequila bashes.
But K-Lo is not going down without a fight:
I’m getting a number of e-mails from people who complain that we have some nerve asking for money after spending [sic] on a cruise last week. I totally understand how that looks bad.
But the RNC paid for the cruise and we’re like totally not keeping it, and we are going to take it back to the store. Tomorrow. So send us your money!
But here’s what you need to know: The reason we do these cruises is they bring in money. It’s another fundraiser. And rather than tanning in the Bahamas, we do work — panels, interviews, dinner, lunch, and other discussions.
No one is allowed to leave the boat. Ever. And K-Lo only left her minuscule cabin to feed on a few meager crumbs from the boat’s paltry buffet and to hear the late-night comedy stylings of Mark “The Mooslims Are Coming!” Steyn.
I tell you that not to whine — its a nice thing to work with a little sun in the cabin window vs. the usual Lexington Avenue noise.
[Cue “Tomorrow” . . . ♫♫The sun’ll come out tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there’ll be sun!♫♫]
Just to illustrate K-Lo’s point, here’s a picture of The Doughy Pantload working his ass off next to an ambiguously gendered fan.
Here’s another Pantload pic, again with the same boy-girl fan, who I bet looks totally hot naked.
And what K-Lo post would be complete without one of her trademark drive-by shootings of the English language?
And like I said in my pitch today, National Review in all its forms has always and I suspect will always, rely [sic] on readers. Thank you again.
No, K-Lo, thank you. I’m almost tempted to send a contribution. Do you take credit-default swaps by any chance?
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
I have no idea how legit this indictment is (it comes from a Texas grand jury after all), but I think it would be the absolute perfect way to end the Bush Era:
Vice president, former AG, state senator indicted
A South Texas grand jury has indicted Vice President Dick Cheney and former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales on charges related to the alleged abuse of prisoners in Willacy County’s federal detention centers.
The indictment criticizes Cheney’s investment in the Vanguard Group, which holds interests in the private prison companies running the federal detention centers. It accuses Cheney of a conflict of interest and “at least misdemeanor assaults” on detainees by working through the prison companies.
Gonzales is accused of using his position while in office to stop an investigation into abuses at the federal detention centers.
There aren’t enough ponies in the world for things this awesome.