Shorter Richard Cohen
Posted on July 22nd, 2008 by Tintin
- The reason the U.S. economy is in the toilet is that David Beckham and Amy Winehouse have too many tattoos.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
There’s a word for the likes of Richie Cohen.
And it begins with a d.
That hat could also say:
STAY OFFA MY LAWN!1!
Dear Editor: I wanted to write a column about how much I hate tattoos, but you said you wanted something serious. So I stuck in two paragraphs just after the middle about the U.S. economy and the debt. Can I go now?
Cohen ends the column with the confession he goes back and reads his old columns, and concludes that some of what he wrote is dumb. Wow, what a slow learner.
Sure losers, huh? Well let’s see who Dickie pickies out as examples of sure losers:
Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, David Beckham and Amy Winehouse.
Well, okay I’ll give him Winehouse, but if that’s a list of losers then Richard Cohen is FTW.
Although Richard does pen one of his most insightful lines in this column:
Yes Richard, you have.
But, but, but… I thought saving was a bad thing for the economy! Aren’t we in a consumer economy? Don’t we have to spend, spend, spend in order to keep it healthy?
What kind of freaking Larry King, non-sequitur bullshit is this?
Oh, it’s dick. Ok. I thought it was someone serious.
FTW in this case, being “fuck the world”.
Consider how Richard understands tattoos:
He’s comparing getting a tattoo to buying a pair of baggy shants or a mesh muscle shirt. Maybe the world would be a better place if purchasing anything in a camo pattern caused sharp stabbing sensations for up to several hours followed by scabbing for days – but we don’t live in that world – at least not yet <sotto voce>bwahahhaha, they don’t suspect a thing!
I have decades’ worth of photos of me wearing clothes that now look like costumes. My hair has been long and then longer and then short. My lapels have been wide, then wider, then narrow.
I have worn the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
Uh. Yeah. When I were a lad two types of people had tattoos: Bikers and soldiers.
Let’s see Dickie Bird take on those economy wrecking bastards.
Also, thanks for not providing a link.
Actually, this is good. Cohen’s attacks on tattoos make him look out of touch. The more Cohen and other leading pundits look out of touch to the public, the more the mass media, by extension, looks that way to them.
The more the mass media looks out of touch, the more people are forced to think for themselves. The more people think for themselves, the better our politics get.
How I look at it anyway.
ifthethunderdontgetya wrote:
Richie, you forgot to end your column with a demand to stay offa your lawn.
~
7/22/2008 8:05:47 AM
Recommend (7)
It amuses me to no end to read and hear people who don’t have the slightest clue about motivations write and talk about tattoos. It’s cute; like little girls playing with toy baking ovens or trying to be grown up by putting on mommy’s lipstick. Bite me, Richard Cohen. I’ve had mine for over a decade and haven’t regretted one of them for a second. Yes, there are some idiots who just do it because they’re jumping on the trend bandwagon (get those Chinese characters verified before you end up with “pot sticker” blazened on your forearm for life), but they’re as lame as Cohen himself. If you don’t like ’em, don’t get ’em. Otherwise, STFU and mind your own business while I do what I want with my own body.
I dunno… he may have a point.
You know, my girlfriend (who has multiple tattoos) and I were talking about something similar the other day, and we came to the conclusion that tattoos, piercings, etc are no different to any other sort of cosmetic surgery.
Let’s see Dicky-boy follow up with a searing indictment of breast implants and facelifts.
and
I seem to remember a certain president(R) coming into office with a historic surplus after a different president(D) ended his term. Out of curiosity I took a look around and found this. For 1978 to 2005, Increase in Federal Debt when a Democrat was POTUS 4.2%, for Republicans (thanx Ronnie) 36.4%.
This is what happens when you get old. The world changes and you become obsolete. Old people sometimes get confused and call their new-found obsolescence “moral decay”.
What sort of motherfuckery is this? It’s yelling at clouds, McCain-style.
“Back in my day, our ballplayers wore nut-grabber shorts and we LIKED it!”
And they wonder why young people aren’t buying the paper. Hell, for reactionary diatribes, you could find better ones all over the internet.
Blue Buddha,
Please add warning to links like that. I did not need to see a Prince Albert today.
I hope Cohen makes this into a series. He could call it Body Modification and the End of Empire. Next week, piercings and the United States’ declining influence over global affairs. Week after next, foreskin restoration and the shrinking middle class.
I’ve had all kinds of breasts. Big breasts, saggy breasts, pendular breasts, triangular breasts. I try to keep my titties in style. But I also use to wear an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time.
Shorter Richard Cohen: Everyone should accept change except for Richard Cohen.
Google Hits for: onion belt and “style at the time”: 4,480
Google hits for: McCain onion belt and “style at the time”: 476.
McCain/Onion Belt ratio: 10%.
Time for a new moniker: John “Onion Belt” McCain.
Cohen seals his claim to total irrelevance.
Obama’s pivoting on Iraq! Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement! It’s not fair that you can’t criticize Obama! Mickey Kaus says Obama’s going to lose! The media’s in the tank for Obama! It’s not faaaaaaair! Obama’s pivoting on Iraq! Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement! It’s not fair that you can’t criticize Obama! Mickey Kaus says Obama’s going to lose! The media’s in the tank for Obama! It’s not faaaaaaair! Obama’s pivoting on Iraq! Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement! It’s not fair that you can’t criticize Obama! Mickey Kaus says Obama’s going to lose! The media’s in the tank for Obama! It’s not faaaaaaair! Obama’s pivoting on Iraq! Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement! It’s not fair that you can’t criticize Obama! Mickey Kaus says Obama’s going to lose! The media’s in the tank for Obama! It’s not faaaaaaair! Obama’s pivoting on Iraq! Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement! It’s not fair that you can’t criticize Obama! Mickey Kaus says Obama’s going to lose! The media’s in the tank for Obama! It’s not faaaaaaair! Obama’s pivoting on Iraq! Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement! It’s not fair that you can’t criticize Obama! Mickey Kaus says Obama’s going to lose! The media’s in the tank for Obama! It’s not faaaaaaair! Obama’s pivoting on Iraq! Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement! It’s not fair that you can’t criticize Obama! Mickey Kaus says Obama’s going to lose! The media’s in the tank for Obama! It’s not faaaaaaair! Obama’s pivoting on Iraq! Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement! It’s not fair that you can’t criticize Obama! Mickey Kaus says Obama’s going to lose! The media’s in the tank for Obama! It’s not faaaaaaair! Obama’s pivoting on Iraq! Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement! It’s not fair that you can’t criticize Obama! Mickey Kaus says Obama’s going to lose! The media’s in the tank for Obama! It’s not faaaaaaair! Obama’s pivoting on Iraq! Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement! It’s not fair that you can’t criticize Obama! Mickey Kaus says Obama’s going to lose! The media’s in the tank for Obama! It’s not faaaaaaair! Obama’s pivoting on Iraq! Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement! It’s not fair that you can’t criticize Obama! Mickey Kaus says Obama’s going to lose! The media’s in the tank for Obama! It’s not faaaaaaair! Obama’s pivoting on Iraq! Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement! It’s not fair that you can’t criticize Obama! Mickey Kaus says Obama’s going to lose! The media’s in the tank for Obama! It’s not faaaaaaair! Obama’s pivoting on Iraq! Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement! It’s not fair that you can’t criticize Obama! Mickey Kaus says Obama’s going to lose! The media’s in the tank for Obama! It’s not faaaaaaair! Obama’s pivoting on Iraq! Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement! It’s not fair that you can’t criticize Obama! Mickey Kaus says Obama’s going to lose! The media’s in the tank for Obama! It’s not faaaaaaair! Obama’s pivoting on Iraq! Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement! It’s not fair that you can’t criticize Obama! Mickey Kaus says Obama’s going to lose! The media’s in the tank for Obama! It’s not faaaaaaair!
Oops. Forgot there were a couple of “Richard Cohen”s toward the end of that page.
The penis dragon is wicked! I gotta see one of those someday
Another shorter Richard Cohen:
Wowowowowowowowowow weee !
Luck is on Richard C’s side
The weight of all the butterfly wings (prestorm totals)
Plus one “Penis dragon”
Equal the gravitas of
Khan Montalbån
Kirk Shatner
Or
A just largish enough pitcher of cool Arrogant Bastard Ale . The Icon makes a great tattoo idea .
Not that I have to defend myself or my deep insights into the the orderly affairs surrounding the landscaping around the tidy mailbox of one Richard C . Real men don’t hide their inner schoolmarm , they tattoo it all over the pages of the WP .
The penis dragon is wicked! I gotta see one of those someday
Airport restroom stalls. You see all kinds of crazy shit.
we came to the conclusion that tattoos, piercings, etc are no different to any other sort of cosmetic surgery.
Let’s see Dicky-boy follow up with a searing indictment of breast implants and facelifts.
He’ll never regret getting that boob job, NEVER!
I’m surprised he can still see, since he’s gotta be pushing 70 and constantly squinting to count the number of kids he needs to shoo off his lawn….
Glad to see the robot is fixed. More repeating, less sobbing…
Using that logic, shouldn’t it be the U.K. economy that’s in trouble?
As someone who is on the cusp of that dreaded AARP card I do wonder how many of my tattooed students are going to feel when everything starts to sag and those tattoos start to droop in unexpected ways. Still, as I tell my students, since I owned a salmon-colored polyester leisure suit back in the day. along with two faux gold chains (one with an ankh and one with a Aries ram), and shiny green platform shoes, I am no longer allowed to make fun of any other generation’s sense of style, ever.
I do wonder how many of my tattooed students are going to feel when everything starts to sag and those tattoos start to droop in unexpected ways.
The ones I wonder about are the kids who are stretching their earlobes out. That makes me flinch, but it’s more the reflexive “ooh, that’s gotta hurt” kind of thing than any judgment on their taste.
I am no longer allowed to make fun of any other generation’s sense of style, ever.
Me neither, because I never had a sense of style of any kind.
Hasn’t the tattoo craze been going for 20 years now? I barely notice them anymore, unless they’re really extensive or drawing attention to a body that’s remarkable in some way (good or bad).
Why is this column necessary? Ooh, newsflash, people sometimes make bad personal decisions!!!!
I guess it’s all part of the new conviction that if people aren’t going to make the decision that you approve of, then they don’t deserve autonomy, the ungrateful wretches.
Everything he’s railing against sounds like the young G W Bush. I wouldn’t be surprised if W’s sporting a tattoo somewhere.
Woodrowfan: “I am no longer allowed to make fun of any other generation’s sense of style, ever.”
No, no, no. You can always poke fun at style. Just don’t have a big pout about it like Mister Very Important Beard just did.
In fact, I encourage you to poke more fun.
That’s journamalism for you. Totally couldn’t piece together which WashPost executive editor was a WW2 Navy man. I’m sure the Bradlee’s are grateful for your consideration.
W’s tattoo is Calvin peeing on Iraq with the caption “Let Freedom Rain!”
I also know a Navy man who had a bicep done in World War II…
Stop the fucking presses! Richard Cohen knows a Navy guy who got a tattoo! A rara avis, indeed!
I know one Navy guy who got a blowjob in the Phillipines and another who drinks a lot while on shore leave. Perhaps Cohen and I should get together and write “The Swabbies I Know: A Collection of Perfectly Ordinary and Not in the Least Bit Surprising Anecdotes About Naval Personnel”.
I am not a loser.
-George Schultz
1. Dick Cohen is an asshole.
cf.
2. Dick Cohen is a hypocrite.
cf.
3. The only other Prince Albert I’d ever like to see is someone giving Dick Cohen a Phineas Gage.
4. PENIS
…inevitably tacky, gauche and ugly. They bear little relationship to the skin that they’re on. They don’t represent an indelible experience or membership in some sort of group but an assertion that today’s whim will be tomorrow’s joy.
Are you sure he isn’t talking about his beard?
Seriously.
My father in law was a sonar technician in a sub for umpteen years during the Cold War. He has all kinds of tattoos up and down his arms, many of them barely identifiable blue blobs.
Tattoos are for losers.
I can’t wait for Cohen to discover reggaeton.
I’m just a couple of years too old to have been part of the tattoo/piercing generation, so I guess I’ve never quite “gotten it” either. But whatever. It’s none of my fucking business what other people do to their bodies.
I’d be curious, though, to get an idea of how many people truly do regret their tattoos years later. A lot of those kids who started it all are reaching middle age now. I’ll bet there are a few former Metallica fans who make it a point of avoiding swimming pools and locker rooms.
I hope Cohen makes this into a series. He could call it Body Modification and the End of Empire. Next week, piercings and the United States’ declining influence over global affairs. Week after next, foreskin restoration and the shrinking middle class.
Thanks, but I don’t want to know what geopolitical phenomenon reminds Richard Cohen of anal bleaching.
Why is this column necessary? Ooh, newsflash, people sometimes make bad personal decisions!!!!
And these decisions are sympomatic of the larger problems facing America today, such as voting Republicans into office and reading uselessly incompetent Washington Post columnists.
“some years back”? Two decades Dickie. People born when George Schultz was Secretary of State are old enough now to be sporting tattoos and drinking legally. Holy fuck Richard Cohen is old.
Anyone old enough and smart enough to get into college knows that only impermanence is permanent. Everything changes
So shorter Dick Cohen is “tattoos = retarded”? Oy.
The medicated rantings of an irrelevant old coot, yes, but at least its not “autistic kids are just little shits,”, a la Savage Weiner.
I must say though, its delightful to hear a conservative douchebag wank on at length about impermanence and change…in a just universe, Grampaw Dick’s head would have collapsed under the sheer weight of his own cognitive dissonance.
Actually, this is good. Cohen’s attacks on tattoos make him look out of touch. The more Cohen and other leading pundits look out of touch to the public, the more the mass media, by extension, looks that way to them. – atheist
I dunno about that. Remember, to many people, Cohen (with his
Jewishcosmopolitan sounding name, media perch and all that) is an examplar of what a liberal is.The more people think Cohen, et al., are out of touch, the more they think liberals in general are out of touch.
*
That being said, maybe it’s my
Jewishrootless cosmopolitan upbringing, but I actually think Cohen has a point here about tattoos … and I’m about 40+ years away from being at the “you kids get off my lawn” stage of life.I can’t wait for Cohen to discover reggaeton. – J
Remember the News Radio episode where Bill McNeil discovers rap music?
The oldest known tattoo was found on a ~5300 year old corpse, so Richie’s “kids these days, huh?” piece is a teensy bit late off the mark.
OT, anyone read Mallard Fillmore today? He references a NYT puff(more a fluff) piece on Rush Limbaugh, an article which mentions a “recent” Pew poll finding Limbaugh listeners more informed than NPR listeners. Needless to say, there’s no citation to the actual poll, either in the comic or the article, but the most recent Pew poll I could discover with that result was done in 2006. One done last year found NPR listeners were more knowledgeable, and Daily Show watchers were the most knowledgeable. I await his sincere apology.
You were not put on this Earth to “get it”, Mr. Cohen.
/bigtrouble
The tattoo is the battle flag of today in its war with tomorrow. It is carried by sure losers.
Like, say, the barista who served him his last cup of spit-free coffee this morning.
The permanence of the moment — the conviction that now is forever — explains what has happened to the American economy.
Yes, because it’s those youthful, ignorant bad elements — say, there’s that cute barista again — who are responsible for the subprime mortgage hoorar.
Everything changes — including, sweetie, that tight tummy with its “look at me!” tattoo.
Bad, bad barista. With the taut tummy and the tattoo and the fiscal shortsightedness. She’s the reason America can’t have nice things. Sweetie needs *discipline,* oh yes she does.
Who’d have thought Cohen was so into the teachings of the Buddha.
Also, note, that that insight is just about 100% antithetical to the conservative world view.
I once knew
in the cold cold Arctic
of broken love
A plague of Blue Bobs
OT, Gloria Vanderbilt’s son is still trying to make up for being so damned angry during Katina. Here’s last night’s show’s spin (from David Gorgon) on Maliki agreeing with Obama on withdrawl timetables:
So, depite being right, Obama’s still made a mistake since he’s not taking lame duck Bush’s feelings into consideration. Oh also, how does one become CNN’s Sr. Political Analyst without knowledge of Nixon’s
secret plannegotiations that had begun in Paris or Ike’s declaration about going to Korea?I still don’t get why a couple of British celebs’ fashion choices are affecting the US economy. What, aren’t tattooed American celebs good enough for him? Why does Richard Cohen hate American celebrities?
I know! Richard Cohen is so out of touch, he thinks America is still a British Colonial possession.
I must admit, though, that as the only one of my friends without a tattoo or a single piercing – not even my ear lobes are pierced now – I’m really happy about it. I came to getting a tattoo a few times, much as I got almost to the marriage altar a couple three times, and just couldn’t look the committment in the face. I’m not good at the LTR.
I did not need to see a Prince Albert today.
That reminds me of a little joke – Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
No, but I know why Dr. Pepper comes in bottles.
I’ll be sure to tell my interviewer today that I’m not……what’s the word the kids use today…..”inked.”
I got mine in my late 20s, back around the time St. Reagan was elected. I’m now in my late 50s, and have never regretted getting it, if for no other reason than it pisses off idiots like Cohen.
Of course, it’s on my left bicep where it can be easily concealed. I might feel differently if I’d gotten it on my forehead.
Plus, George Schultz was a Marine. No info on whether he got the Princeton tiger tattooed on his ass before or during his service. I can’t believe that BushCo has caused me to look favorably upon that evil bastard Schultz as some paragon of competence.
And please please please do not let Cohen find out about Suicide Girls.
DAS said,
July 22, 2008 at 17:50
I can’t wait for Cohen to discover reggaeton. – J
Remember the News Radio episode where Bill McNeil discovers rap music?
—————————————-
If not, here ya go:
http://streamingtvepisodes.com/component/option,com_bookmarks/Itemid,2020/task,wrapper/id,2506/
Richard Cohen, ladies and gentlemen!
I know he’s a lazy hack, but hiring Andy Rooney to ghost-write your columns? That’s a new low.
Like others, I thought of Schultz’s tiger, but let’s also remember that GWB was part of a secret society at Yale that branded people. Yes, the Worst President of All TimeTM has body art.
Suck on that, Dick!
The superscript showed up in preview, honest.
Remember the News Radio episode where Bill McNeil discovers rap music?
I hadn’t seen that before. Thanks, DAS and Slim Tyranny.
CLEARLY ; these tattoos you radical,Marxists! get are CLEARLY signed of the Beast! If you knew any thing ; you’d realize how in trouble youre getting us all !!!!!
I don’t usually read these columns if I don’t have to. I get enough brainaches from the conservative columnists that I read as a copy editor for a right-wing rag, so I know that the “shorters” are accurate.
So when Sadly, No runs one of these from some nitwit that I don’t HAVE to read, I happily read the “shorter” and then go on into the comments to see what hilarity ensues.
But I decided to be fair and start reading a few more of them, and I started today with the Cohen piece.
They really DO publish some embarrassing, stupid shit in the Washington Post. My eyeballs hurt. It’s like he gets his ideas from Abe Simpson, as explained by Ralph Wiggum.
The Washington Post should be ashamed of itself for exploiting Cohen’s metal infirmities.
Yupper. I was much happier with my old M.O. I don’t think I’ll be reading any more of this gibberish than I have to.
At least tattooed people have the alternative of laser removal. There’s no treatment currently known for being a fuzzy-headed, hand-wringing yutz.
At least tattooed people have the alternative of laser removal. There’s no treatment currently known for being a fuzzy-headed, hand-wringing yutz.
Hmmm…you could amp up the laser, and aim it at the forehead…
Don’t you hate condom dispensers in truck-stop bathrooms? I can never get the coins to go in right. And if you ask someone to help you, they think you’re coming on to them.
Yeah, I saw it. Even if his statistic about Rush Limbaugh listeners was true, the premise is idiotic.
The comic is here. If you have the stomach for it.
Apparently, at every cocktail party he’s ever been to, some latte-licking limousine liberal said that NPR listeners have “better news knowledge” than Rush Limbaugh listeners – based on a Pew study referenced by the New York Times – and big-hearted Mallard FIllmore wants all those smug Rush-hating liberals to eat it now that it has been proven false by his asterisk.
Shorter Mallard FIllmore: Conservatives are retards.
And now he’s framing his whole candidacy around a campaign of strategic whining about the claim that the political press is treating his younger opponent like he’s been treated for over a decade. He’s got the preening and envy of a sore losing runner-up for prom queen.
–Josh Marshall
print share 07.22.08 — 1:13PM // link | recommend (5)
===================================================
Hard to Overstate McCain Trainwreck
Josh and I were discussing a little while ago just how complete the Republican collapse on foreign policy has been in the short span of just a few weeks. It’s remarkable and hard to think of any recent historical parallels.
Not to get overly schadenfreudiferous, or anything like that…but a hearty Nelson Muntz to McSame.
Apparently, at every cocktail party he’s ever been to, some latte-licking limousine liberal said that NPR listeners have “better news knowledge” than Rush Limbaugh listeners
Again with the cocktail parties! I’ve voted for the Democrats in ever election since I could appear in porn. When do I get an invitation?
Yeah. The cocktail party references in conservative gibberish are just about the only things that make me laugh because of the unintentional amusement factor. I feel bad though because it’s like making fun of the mentally handicapped.
“See, cause it’s funny because liberals are a bunch of elitists who go to cocktail parties and make fun of regular, working-class joes. And, like, conservatives don’t have cocktail parties, they are regular guys who hang out in bars and go and hunt canned quail and shoot their donors in the face. Huh huh. Lookit! I can draw Osama bin Laden with a ‘Obama for President’ button! Huh huh! I’m so clever.”
Mixed in a little Michael Ramirez there. Sorry for the confusion.
Speaking of idiotic conservative comics, what’s up at “Day by Day” lately? Has he done the very original “Obama rallies are like Hitler” meme yet? Or does he – like Mallard – work so far ahead that his narratives are quaint by the time they appear?
The least you can say about Ramirez is that he’s a better artist than Mallard FIllmore.
It’s also the most you can say.
The NYT piece referred to in the Mallard Fillmore is from the magazine and might be accessible at:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/06/magazine/06Limbaugh-t.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&hp
The statement in question is halfway down page six (of nine). Like tigrismus, I also can’t find the referenced Pew Report.
Thanks, Dragon-King.
I might look at it later. It’s my day off and I’m trying to get my act together to get out the door and see The Dark Knight. I’m more in the mood to point and laugh.
Oh, what the heck! I’ll take a look and then go see The Dark Knight!
I found the paragraph. Um, I think the piece would have been better with a little more data … but not as useful to conservative propagandists.
I am tempted to follow this through, but to what end? To find out that Mallard Fillmore is a dishonest hack? People who get their talking points from Mallard FIllmore are too stupid to talk to.
I’m off to The Dark Knight.
Looks like I sold myself short again. The Pew poll:
http://people-press.org/report/319/public-knowledge-of-current-affairs-little-changed-by-news-and-information-revolutions
And while it doesn’t say what the fumbduck says it says, (I gotta start fadgeing or this is going to start sounding like Paul McCartney) it does point out that Rush listeners are actually somewhat informed about current affairs. (High knowledge group NPR = 51%, Rush 50%)
OK, I’m not quite off to The Dark Knight.
Yeah. If I had made such a comment about Rush and NPR to Mallard Fillmore at one of these imaginary cocktail parties, and he showed up at the next cocktail party and interrupted my latte-licking limousine liberalizing with that Pew study, demanding an apology, he’d get an earful from me.
What a tool. Lame shit like this was what made me reconsider my whole wolrdview when I was a 16-year-old Republican drone in 1980.
cocktail party references
Like Brahma on the lotus growing from Vishnu’s navel, I think those all stem from that cosmic conservative omphalos, the Tom Wolfe “Radical Chic” essay.
Ramirez (I did that Shorter up there) is one hell of an artist, and I mean that. Dude draws some of the most thoroughly disturbing caricatures you’ll ever see…if Thomas Nast had an artistic heir, it’d be Ramirez.
Now that I’ve said that, his politics are terrible. He’s a crybaby authoritarian- think your Chuckles Johnson, your Glenn Reynolds, most of the lowlights at The Corner, etc. Dude would lock millions of Americans up in a heartbeat, but takes the first chance he gets to whiiiiiiine about how mistweeeeeated his breed of conservatism is by, hell- the media, teachers, “big government,” whatever. It’s pathetic stuff. He’s also one of the most blatant strawman artists you’ll ever see – stuff like this is par for the course in Ramirezland. And he repeats and repeats and repeats and repeats it; I’ve lost count of how many times he’s demanded that Congress not allowing us to drill in ANWR was nearly THE source of all our gas price woes.
I think it’s telling that he’s drawn the oh-so-relevant Jimmy Friggin Carter a bunch of times in the past year, while never drawing a single Republican candidate for President save McCain. Obvious where he thinks the biting sword of satire should go.
Oh no, I found the report I believe Chafets is referring to, but it’s from 2006, i.e. not recent; the more recent 2007 one has a different result, as your link shows, which directly contradicts Chafets’s and the duck’s lame-ass point. In other words, a great big “Sadly, No” to them both.
There’s also the issue of conflating Rush talk-radio listeners with Fox News folks. They scored 35%. So while it’s not entirely accurate to say that NPR listeners are way more informed than Rush Limbaugh listeners Fox News fans are still fair game.
Substitute Jeff McNelly for Thomas Nast and I think you got something there.
“Anyone old enough and smart enough to get into college knows that only impermanence is permanent. Everything changes — including, sweetie, that tight tummy with its “look at me!” tattoo. Time will turn it into false advertising. “
I gotta admit, I’m surprised not has caught the blatant misogyny of this. Women = merchandise!
Speaking of which, wasn’t Richard Cohen sued for, or at least accused of, sexual harassment in the middle of the whole Monica Lewinsky thing?
[Clif adds: Yes.]
You know, someday you’re going to be old and your skin will be hanging all loose and your tattoo will look bad!
Of course without the tattoo you’d still be an old person with loose skin, and really that’s not so much better aesthetically.
Anyway just don’t get:
(a) someone’s name in script
(b) a paw print
(c) a picture of Joe Pantoliono with the caption THIS GUY IS GREAT, TRUST HIM in backward mirror-writing.
I for one would like to offer my sincere apology to the guy who draws Mallard Fillmore for what I said to him at that cocktail party:
Contrary to my statements, Russia had not called, they were not running out of vodka, and they hadn’t mentioned him by name. It is not, in fact, possible to be “too drunk to legally even ride in a car [as a passenger]”; that was intended as hyperbole and was not appropriate to the circumstances. Finally, the pun constructed around Millard Fillmore’s affiliation with the “know-nothing” party was unfair.
I read that Barack Obama has a tattoo — but it’s actually a forgery! (Hint: check the kerning.)
http://people-press.org/report/?pageid=1068
I think this is the report Mallard Fillmore referenced. The date was July 30, 2006.
The three questions asked respondents which party has a majority in the U.S. House of Representatives (Republicans); the name of the current U.S. Secretary of State (Condoleezza Rice); the name of the current president of Russia (Vladimir Putin).
So they weren’t asked to explain anything complex. They were simply asked for a name.
Readers of news magazines, political magazines and business magazines, listeners of Rush Limbaugh and NPR, and viewers of the Daily Show, and C-SPAN also are much more likely than the average person to have a college degree.
Anybody willing to bet that Rush listeners are more likely to have their degrees in engineering or business, than medicine, art, law, etc.?
Anybody willing to bet that Rush listeners are more likely to have their degrees in engineering or business, than medicine, art, law, etc.?
My dad, a physicist by training, used to squirm at the proverbial expressions linking arcane knowledge and unfathomable intelligence to “rocket science.” He said rocket scientists were engineers, basically — and, with almost a shudder, “Most of _them_ still believe in _God_!”
Thx, Clif. That only gilds the lily. Who wants to bet that Richard Cohen was leering at some exposed skin on a much younger woman, got caught, and, to justify it, said that he was researching tattoos for a column?
Yep, sportin’ major column.
I read that Barack Obama has a tattoo — but it’s actually a forgery! (Hint: check the kerning.)
Call in Tatdude!
Tatdude is an active member of the American Tattoo Analysis Society, the National Body Modification Institute, and a certificated Federal Breast Inspector.
Wait, I thought Obama was to blame for the failing economy. It’s a pathetic article but at least he’s not one of the blametheNegrocons that have been blaming all of the stock market’s problems (and anything else they can think of) on Obama’s popularity. Unless somehow the tattoos are Obama’s fault, and I’m certainly not saying they aren’t.
I like how “readers of online news discussion blogs” are a good 15% less-informed than even regular Limbaugh listeners. That says a heck of a lot. I often get the feeling that some of these right wing bloviators are even more ignorant than your average Limbacil. Looks like they actually are.
Are we sure Lileks didn’t ghostwrite this Cohen column?
Rightwingsnarkle said, July 22, 2008 at 18:31
“I did not need to see a Prince Albert today.”
That reminds me of a little joke – Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
Apparently Cohen let him out. And then he ate him.
I agree that tattoos are stupid.
On a related note, Ana Marie Cox is still obsessed with anuses.
[W]e came to the conclusion that tattoos, piercings, etc are no different to any other sort of cosmetic surgery… Let’s see Dicky-boy follow up with a searing indictment of breast implants and facelifts.
In Dicky’s world, breast implants & facelifts provide a revenue stream to Very Serious Medical Professionals. Tattoos and piercings just pass impulse money to DFHs — money that would otherwise go (so thinks Dicky) to Very Serious Megacorporate Retailers.
I have nothing against tattoos except an allergy to physical discomfort. To quote Norman Ball, “I’d quite like a scar like Major’s, if only they could do it under anesthesia and without breaking the skin.”
I mod my computer, I mod my car, I mod my OS, I mod my phone, I mod my bod.
Sorry if individuality bothers you.
Actually, I think some tattoos look really good, and probably will look just as good when the subject is elderly. Saw a production of “Midsummer Night’s Dream” lately, the actress playing the faerie queen had a tattoo of wings on her back. It was small, perfect for the part, but also just looked really neat.
The chinese characters look decent to me, though I guess you do want to make sure it doesn’t actually say “pork rinds” or “elevator” or something.
And what is wrong with a tattoo that says “pork rinds”?
You are a bunch of elitists showing your intolerance for America by making fun of its most treasured traditions and foodstuffs while you eat your gherkins and your imported British candied lamb cartilage at your cocktail parties. (If it wasn’t for the presence of Mallard Fillmore cornering you latte-licking limousine liberals and forcing you to apologize for saying NPR listeners are better informed than Rush Limbaugh listeners, I wouldn’t even go.)
Liberals. Hmf.
You know, it took me all of 60 seconds to figure out which Navy man had had the bicep done, with a simple look-see at Wikipedia. I hope the man’s family (who he was trying to protect) don’t have the interwebs.
In your opinion, what’s the best movie ever created?