http://ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/funny-dog-pictures-cone-lol.jpg

Give Jonah some credit. Ace of Spades (see below) will never admit that physicists still think global warming is real.

I’ve led you astray – Jonah Goldberg.

Preach it, sistah!

Correction: Nevermind.

This should be the lede of everything Jonah ever writes, in perpetuity.

Well.

I thought to myself, “there’s no way that shorter is accurate”.

So I clicked on the link, exposing myself to dangerous levels of Doughy Pantload.

Yeah, Brad pretty much nailed it.

Why do I ever disbelieve?

I love the APS statement. It stops just short of saying “So simmer down and shut your fat yap, Pantload.”

Rational action sequence:
1) Hear about article
2) Read article
3) Give thoughts

Pantload action sequence:
1) Hear about article
2) Heh indeedy
3) Smirk
4) In your face, global warming alarmists!
5) Have it pointed out to you that you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.
6) Post retraction

Notice the absence of “remove head from ass” on that second list.

I can’t type a snarky comment because I’m rolling on the floor laughing my ass off. Hey! There should be an acronym or other internet tradition for that phrase, doncha thinkl?

Correction: Nevermind.

Funniest thing I’ve read today.

Besides this:

Tulsa re-election comic book story

The comic

Hmm. What happened to my comic linky?

Here

If Jonah was really intellectually honest, he would append “Actually you have not got to love it” to the title.

From the APS statement:

This newsletter is not a journal of the APS and it is not peer reviewed.

Ooo, that hurtful little phrase that has confounded many a wingnut moron! Why should peers have to review things anyway? Shouldn’t Teh Market decide whether science is true?

Yes, Jake. “Peer review” is a concept employed by liberal fascists and elitists to prevent real Americans from simply believing what any real American already knows to be true. i.e. anything that LIEbruls believe is necessarily a lie designed to force real Americans into having gay abortions.

This was my favorite part:

“The American Physical Society reaffirms the following position on climate change, adopted by its governing body, the APS Council, on November 18, 2007:

Emissions of greenhouse gases from human activities are changing the atmosphere in ways that affect the Earth’s climate.”

Clear enough for you, Pantload? Now shave that fucking goatee. The Spin Doctors broke up 15 years ago.

HOLY FUCK, g. That thing is like a Chick tract on steroids and crack. Except drawn by a second grader.

I’m liking these half-assed Shorters. Looking forward to…

Shorter Michelle Malkin:

BLARARRRRGH!

Shorter Glenn Reynolds:

Obama will lose because Mickey Kaus something something. Heh.

Shorter Megan McArdle:

Libertarianism! Giggles!

Shorter Hugh Hewitt:

Mitt Romney.

Shorter K-Lo:

Yeah, Romney.

Shorter Bill Kristol:

Eh, fuck it. My editor will fix this.

Shorter Star Parker:

Dr. King was a right-winger.

Shorter Mike S. Adams:

Who wants to hear a black joke?

And so on.

Loooove the comic. He misspells ‘pedophile.’ Twice. In different ways.

It appears Douglas Feith has a challenger.

The definitive Mike S. Adams shorter is this:

“I have a tiny penis.”

Just a style note here, but I think you should change the spelling of ‘stoopid’ to ‘stoopit,’ cause when you say ‘stoopit’ out loud it sounds extra stoopit, and Dr. Goldberg here is extra stoopit with stoopit on top with a crunchy doughy, stoopit center.

g–

I got as far as something about paving the school track and then I passed out.

Then I came to and thought, “all right, all RIGHT, I’ll vote for him. Just don’t make me read any more.” (No, I don’t live in OK. Nonetheless.)

Jack Chick, yes, but also Dr. Bronner after attending Famous Artists School of Cartooning.

I like the comic because it taught me that boy-raping Scoutmasters 1.) are enormous, and 2.) wear togas.

I often wonder if the board at Goucher ever considers asking for the return of their diploma.

Wow g. That comic book makes me feel a little bit better about my own idiot local pols. Sorta like lesley’s link to Helen Mirren makes me feel a little bit better about being old. S,N is uplifting my spirits today! Thanks, guys!!

Speaking of internet traditions, I think it’s time to start a new one. When a correction completely negates the entire content of a post, it should be called a….

…Jonot?

…Goldburn? (as in, He totally Goldburned that one)

…Pantlosion?

Suggestions?

The school track was as far as I got as well, Mr. Wonderful. Then the excessive eye-rolling grew truly painful and I had to quit.

I think every campaign could use one of those comic books to, uh, reach a certain segment of voters. (Call the comics “Rineharts” for short.) A couple of well-scrubbed, sincere volunteers doing door-to-door delivery would be the preferred distribution method.

As much mileage as these clowns got out of LOL, liberals keep saying “fake but accurate”!!! w/r/t Rathergate, they sure do the same exact thing all the freakin time. Take this instance.

Global warming’s a sham! These scientists say so!
Correction: Well, turns out they didn’t say so. It’s still a sham, though!

When a correction completely negates the entire content of a post, it should be called a….

A Doughy Titanic – ’cause he really hit a Goldberg on that one . . .

Have to say that this is more honesty than I thought Pantload was capable of. On the other hand he just proved he is, in fact, even dumber than than we thought.

I read that comic, and what struck me most was the ridiculous and illegal policies being pushed as commonsensical and good. The ‘running taxes as a business’ thing implies something he doesn’t actually understand – that is, businesses are run by their shareholders. This isn’t only his fault; the idea that ‘run X as a business’ means ‘strip away access to X by disinterested experts and micromanage X’s finances with a singular aim to increasing economic efficiency’ is a wider social problem. I’m not even a capitalist and this disgusts me – I think it’d disgust Smith or any of the classical economists as well.

Running local government as a business means installing yourself as Finance Fuhrer and hiring your cousin (ahem, a business manager) to do something or other for an enormous salary. Running a government along the actual principles of a corporation wouldn’t be a great deal of change – it might mean overrepresenting people who pay more in tax, which many jurisdictions effectively do anyway – but it sure as hell wouldn’t just be turning a profit. You can do that with bank robbery – doesn’t make it acceptable. (At least outside of the GOP.)

The other illegal stuff he just has no excuse for. 10-hour workdays? Yeah, how much you want to bet he paid the work crews he’s been treating like McDonalds clerks any overtime for keeping them away from their families for an extra two hours.

“I think we should make their work more difficult by thinking up more clever insults and epithets.”

Pfff. Fuck that.

DoPa: …total support for the global warming.
….
Correction: Nevermind Never mind.

There is far more to the job of editor than being able to use standard English grammar. I still think Buckley should have stabbed DoPa to death with a blue pencil.

there are a lot of things about that comic that I just lurv!

I love the Gladiator Man – he’s extra hawt. I like the fact that the spokesman for the comic is a pear-shaped guy in overalls – it’s such an unique choice it makes me wonder who the model is – is it a self-portrait of the comic’s author?

I like the fact that all the human beings have little short thalidomide-flipper arms, and feet like Dr. Seuss characters. I like the lady whose curly hair makes it look like her brain is exposed.

Loooove the comic. He misspells ‘pedophile.’ Twice. In different ways.

On consecutive pages, no less. Also included is the phrase “No, your kidding”

Jake H: I think a verb is in order. Perhaps “to doughbob,” as in, “Wow, Cornfed Wankee really doughbobbed that one!”

Except the word would mostly be used in relation to Mr. Loadpants himself, so it could get redundant pretty quickly.

My personal fave of the original Jonut was that the APS “rescinds its total support for the global warming.” Like the APS said, “Hey, wait, no, we don’t LIKE global warming! Go ‘way, global warming! Stop crashing on our couches and leaving the dregs of your Hurricanes on our floors! Get a JOB, why don’t you!”

10-hour workdays?

Actually, a lot of government agencies are doing this – my own very liberal, unionized west coast city has a variation on it – 80 hours worked in 9 business days. It means most folks get a 4-day work week every other week.

Is anyone from the S,N! contingent here in Austin?

I ask because I sure would enjoy shaking your hand(s) and buying you the beverage of your choice while telling you how much I enjoy your work and comments.

I’ll be the bald guy with graying beard, wearing my name tag dutifully. Someone send me the secret handshake.

total support

Jonah imagines that support for stuff there’s evidence for is the same as loyally eating whatever the elephant poops out.

Speaking of internet traditions, I think it’s time to start a new one. When a correction completely negates the entire content of a post, it should be called a….

Triple Lindy Reverse Goldberg?

I think “Jonanism” could cover this territory as well.

I think “Jonanism” could cover this territory as well.

Never have so many though so little of such a fool.

Never has a post been completely negated with such detail or such care.

I like “Jonanism,” by the way.

Unfortunately, RB, none of those linked posts perfectly captures the most concise definition of Jonanism, which is: the highest or ultimate form of wankery. The French would refer to it as the ne plus ultra of wankery or something like that, which is really an even more satisfying definition than the concise version in English.

i vote “doughularity”.

at some point goldberg will hit the perfect error of fact, an assertion of the perfect opposite of what is written in the very link he is citing. at that point, the universe will end. or nothing will happen.

Off topic, but who gives a fuck? (I scoff at your Fuck Panel): This is why I read Roy: “Charles Krauthammer is mad that Obama will appear at the Brandenburg Gate. Reagan “earned the right to speak there …” What has that punk Obama done? I am in some sympathy — I felt the same way when The Knack played Carnegie Hall, and when people were comparing George W. Bush to Winston Churchill.”

Heh. In-fucking-deed.

I’ll be the bald guy with graying beard

Can we presume you already are the bald guy with the graying beard?

Are graybeards not common at that shindig? Damn, I feel really old now.

robert green:

“doughularity”: the event horizon of stoopid, in which the dark mass of ignorance and rank stupidity becomes so dense and heavy that it collapses in upon itself, creating a mass of ignorance so dark, heavy, and impenetrable that no rational thought or idea, once sucked into its mass, can escape.

Well, Jonah is so dense that light bends around him, so that’s a pretty apt description.

i vote for ‘goldburp’

and reagan wasn’t at the Brandenburg Gate. i lived in Berlin at the time. they shot him on a sound stage in the south of Berlin. probably not a bad idea considering that every inch of that wall was in sight of an armed east german commie dude.

they shot him on a sound stage Oh! If only!

“and reagan wasn’t at the Brandenburg Gate”

Craphammer’s assertion, not Roy’s; just to clarify. It does make sense they wouldn’t actually let Ronnie get anywhere close to the actual gate. I imagine there was some concern about East German snipers.

Oh….what I would give to on, under, and in a Fuck Panel. Probably a handful of man sauce if what I’d give, to be honest.

Enjoy your lunches, bitches.

Things I’m tired of reading on wingnut web sites:

“in the tank for”

“bwa-ha-ha”

“under the bus” (goes without saying, of course)

“y’all”

“gotta love it” (or any variation thereof)

“moral equivalence”

“just sayin'”

absolutely any attempt at whimsy (like “new comments thingy” or those precious 404 messages)

“Lord Monckton is a British upper-class loony”

I prefer upper-class twit. It creates much better visuals in my head.

/MPFC’d…

“Mr. Gorbachev, Strike This Set!” just doesn’t have the same Reaganosity to it though.

Yes, that is the a good assumption, I will BE the bald guy with the graying beard, and yes, there are so many of us here it was meant to be a joke. See why I don’t write comedy?

This is one event where I don’t feel so old, but I’m on the upper end of the bell curve, that’s for sure. All achieved at 49!

Lots of media vans around the hotel. Note to self: Don’t drink and interview.

If anyone is in the immediate neighborhood, I am sitting in some open space comfy chairs in the lobby, near a Netroots Nation sign in the middle of a fountain looking Very Serious and busy by simply typing gibberish into my laptop.

Longhorn hat on the bald head, sunglasses on the hat. Just waiting to check in and take a nap. Blue clothes for the time being.

Speaking of internet traditions, I think it’s time to start a new one. When a correction completely negates the entire content of a post, it should be called a….

Wait, wait! I’ve got it!

A Foldberg… FTW!!

““Mr. Gorbachev, Strike This Set!” just doesn’t have the same Reaganosity to it though.”

Lulz. Then again, as far as Reagan knew, he was at the real Brandenburg Gate.

So….the national association of physicists are credible when they are against global warming, but when Pantload realizes he’s wrong, their opinions can be disregarded?

The wingnut ego is a thing to behold.

Monckton is too a member of Parliament — he did the chant on “Night Of The Thumpasorus People“, right?

So….the national association of physicists are credible when they are against global warming, but when Pantload realizes he’s wrong, their opinions can be disregarded?

Yes, that’s exactly it according to Thumbelino.

The actual scientific consensus is Al Gore might be wrong.

Time for Professor Harold Hill to pack up his instruments and head out of River City.

He’s got Trouble.

With a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for and that stands for physicists.

And they are bailing on Gore.

But then some commenter comes along and points out that the APS is disassociating itself from Lard Monckton’s article prompting him to issue an update:

UPDATE: The organization denies the report on which this post is based. Apparently, its mind is made up. Oh well.

It’s amazing how quickly the APS went from an objective group of scientists to a hack pack that’s in the tank for the Goracle.

g: That OK comic is rife with some drastically askew business – are we exporting that much primo BC Bud now, that it gets all the way down there, too? Or does Oklahoma just have a lot of leaky nuclear waste-dumps, & folks down yonder really DO look that surreal?

You know what strikes me, is – a lot of these wingnut “posts” consist of 1-6 rather crappy sentences & a link or two. That hardly even gives me time to curse & sneer, for crying out loud!
Der Pantload’s Errata actually dwarfs the goddamn post itself, as well as proving it worthy only of a swift & merciful deletion. These lazy goopers are squeezing out the mental equivalent of those lousy little soap-samples you get in the mail – they’re sort of cute, but also useless as hell. In Real-World-Land, those little strings of psychic saliva aren’t posts, they’re mere comments. In terms of those among them who’re truly committed to full-time ideological whoredom on the Wingnut Welfare rolls, I’d say they’re robbing their bosses blind – even if they’re doing their dirty work on the cheap.

This is truly the greatest Shorter ever.

[…] yes, remember a little while ago when that Michael Asher anti-global-warming piece exploded so mortifyingly for Jonah, and I […]

Fair is fair though. After all he did just win this….http://www.tagg-lines.com/2008/07/move-over-doug-feith.html

“Pantraction.”

As in, “Doughpants got it wrong again and had to issue a pantraction.”

g: That comic brought back all the grubby, overstuffed envelopes I was sentenced to open as a newsdesk peon, back in my days of working at a small midwest daily. They were always full of outrage – back in those days at the “ZOG” and “Trilateral Commission” – and kept insisting that the author was part of a grand and powerful group of like-minded people who were going to rise up and righteously cleanse the wicked cities and take back America.

I wish I’d kept those letters; it would have been instructive to track, from month to month, the deteriorating mental condition of the authors. After about six months, the scrawlings and crude comics usually started to spiral around and around the margins of the cheap wide-rule notebook paper. That spiral motif, I later learned, is one of the big signs that the writer’s mind has descended into Axis 1 schizophrenia, and that if you went to their double-wide, you’d find small, rotting pieces of meat hidden under chairs and in random, inappropriate places.

The persistent appearance of the devils and angels in the comic indicates that the “artist” is starting to see angels, devils, ghost people, etc. The persecution complex is also in its middle stages, with the images of shady “good ol’ boys” meeting under streetlamps. Without a regimen of Zyprexa and Geodon, beginning in the next couple of months, the artist will lapse into the classical downward spiral that ends with the patient wandering the streets with soiled trousers, wild eyes and a tangled, unkempt beard.

At which point, the Corner will recruit themselves a new columnist.

The persistent appearance of the devils and angels in the comic indicates that the “artist” is starting to see angels, devils, ghost people, etc. The persecution complex is also in its middle stages, with the images of shady “good ol’ boys” meeting under streetlamps. Without a regimen of Zyprexa and Geodon, beginning in the next couple of months, the artist will lapse into the classical downward spiral that ends with the patient wandering the streets with soiled trousers, wild eyes and a tangled, unkempt beard.

Yeah, as much contempt as I generally have for the school of outsider art (it’s always seemed relentlessly patronizing to me), this is spot-on. The other Republican pointing out that he doesn’t know who the Hell the ‘liberal good ol’ boys’ are actually supposed to be (it being rural Oklahoma, not exactly a liberal bastion) – it’s kind of scary.

If I were the FBI I’d keep an eye on this county for a while. Then again, if I were the FBI I wouldn’t be spending all day spying on random Arabs, so what can you do.

Yuo guys do realize that Lord Monckton is a Peer, right? So there is no need for peer review in this case.

We were so going to invite you but then Jesse was like all “I HEART Brad” and I was like, “Give me Gavin any day” and then next thing you know we were brawling and the only way to resolve it was to say, “Eh, let’s just ask the Rude Pundit”.

That comic was hilarious. Teh gheys should definately wear more togas. I will bring that up at the next agenda meeting.

The school track was as far as I got as well, Mr. Wonderful. Then the excessive eye-rolling grew truly painful and I had to quit.

Man, I didn’t get past the “liberal good ol’ boys” bit, ’cause I knew he wasn’t talking about cats like me. I did like his avatar giving the black/freak power hand sign in the opening panel, though. Okie Nutjob Power!

And is there really a bunch of blogging yay-hoos sitting around somewhere in this great land today discussing whether or not there’s too much foul language on said blogs? Really? Tell ’em I said fuck off.

“Yuo guys do realize that Lord Monckton is a Peer, right? So there is no need for peer review in this case.”

First, I’m not Chinese. Second – good one! Too late in the thread to get noticed, but nevertheless, a winner.

The thing I can’t understand is how you all are giving each other metaphoric highfives and shit for some stodgy org. pronouncing a death sentence to civilization as we know it.
Do you not get the fact that there is absolutely no substitute for fire.
That is what we are talking about here with climate change.
CO2 is the byproduct of fire. Always.
No exceptions.
If Al Gore is right it’s going to mean more then you switching from a cab ride to a bicycle.
If he is right billions of people will die.
You should get on your hands and knees and beg that he is wrong.
Because it will mean your uncle, your cousin, everyone you ever loved, dying hungry in the street.
Someone who would cheer for climate change to be real, man I wouldn’t piss on that stupid cocksucker if his ass was on fire.
Fuck you all.

[…] by one of 39 subgroups of the APS featured ‘articles which debate the question,’ with a big disclaimer in red text at the top of the page — while the APS reaffirmed its position in extremely strong and unambiguous language. In […]

[…] The Infamous “Fuck Panel” […]

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