A new nut roasted
Besides the obvious, (offers addressed to Amber Pawlik with promises of a larger penis,) the Sadly, No! mailbox is a pretty quiet place. Every now and then however we receive a note of support and encouragement (like when we heard from David Frum.) Earlier this week we received an email from Jenny* who suggested that we take a look at one Tony McKee, a staff writer for The East Carolinian. According to Jenny, Tony is an “all-around cockwipe who needs a serious smacking.” Having received no replies to her emails from TBOGG, Jenny wrote to us. We’re glad she did, because in Tony McKee we found a man who can singlehandedly return this great nation to the high level of political discourse so many pine for. A man who debates issues — not personalities. A man who puts us, ever so quick to reach for a fucktard or moron, to shame:
First, John Kerry is an idiot and should never be allowed to govern a Scout troop let alone the United States.
And he’s off.
The one lie that the press helps Kerry, the Democrats and the press spread that really bothers me though is that President Bush’s tax cut go only to the “rich”. Let’s look at their definition of “rich”, shall we?
According to IRS figures, the top 50 percent of wage earners pay over 95 percent of income taxes. The yearly income range for this top 50 percent is from around $27,000 and up. The lower 50 percent of wage earners, those making less than $27,000 a year pay less than five percent of income taxes.
Tony, we don’t know if you noticed but the press (nor Kerry) are not the ones defining “the rich” the way you do. We’ve heard Rush Limbaugh make that argument though (here and there.) If Tony can find a reference for his “quote” of Kerry arguing that the Bush tax cuts went only to the rich, we invite him to share it with us. Otherwise, we suspect that Kerry’s more likely complaint is that the tax cut a) benefited “the rich” disproportionately and that b) the government can’t afford it. Indeed, there is no shortage of irony in seeing that Tony celebrates Bush’s fiscal irresponsibility while criticizing Kerry for voting against a Balanced Budget Amendment. Much like the old Quebec joke about sovereignists who want “an independent Quebec in a strong Canada.” Figure out which one you want, asshole, and let us know then.
For all of Tony’s talents however, you may be surprised to know he gets few emails from his readers:
Last week I challenged everyone to give their opinion on where all the liberals had gone. The response was somewhat disappointing. I don’t know if very few people read the paper last Tuesday or if the question was just too hard.
Or if maybe no one really gives a fuck what you think? This, of course, is just a random guess. If we ran across someone who can’t separate Iraq and 9/11, we’d probably not want to bother writing either:
Fifth, Moore shows scenes of Iraqi insurgents after Saddam was thrown out dancing around destroyed equipment and dead bodies and calls them proof that we were not wanted. He even had the temerity to show pictures of the mutilated and burned victims hanging from that bridge. He does not show the planes slamming into the World Trade Center killing thousands of Americans but he does show that. He also does not mention the innocent people brutally murdered by these insurgents, most of whom were over there trying to help the Iraqi’s. Typical.
Oh it’s typical alright.
* Her real name is actually Patti.
I wonder what would be considered evidence that we really are not wanted in Iraq? Maybe if someone were FUCKING BEHEADED or something…
Oh, wait…
I would find this more amusing if there were only one of Tony. But there aren’t. There’s tens of thousands if not millions of people who will be voting this November whose opinions are based on numbers Rush Limbaugh pulled straight from Karen Hughes’ ass.
Not to mention his confused diatribe on Michael Moore. Someone buy this guy a clue.
* Her real name is actually Patti.
But everyone knew her as Nancy… oops obscure Firesign Theater reference there.
This quote from our new friend Tony has me confused. He is a professional writer for the East Carolinian and yet he manages to write “He does not show the planes slamming into the World Trade Center killing thousands of Americans but he does show that.”
Which is it? Does Moore show the planes or doesn’t he? If intrepid reporter Tony Mckee saw the movie he could tell us. Instead Tony debates himself.
Tony isn’t a newcomer to criticism, it turns out his own paper prints a pirate rant which asks “Why does Tony McKee keep writing articles bashing Democrats? He’s a Republican, right? Why doesn’t he write an article supporting Republicans?”
That’s what he gets for being late.
F9/11 begins with the sounds of the two planes smashing into the towers. Now, sadly, I was there, and Moore missed the sound of the engines of the second plane (which I did hear) whining, horribly, as the plane angled in.
Thanks, Sadly.
Hey! You left out the best part!
He was also sodomizing a kitten and setting fire to a bus full of nuns at the time.
He ended the column “Remember these statements when you see movie.”
Uh, you mean there’s such a shortage of journalists in East Carolina that they can’t locate writers (or editors or proofreaders) that can construct complete sentences consistently?
More likely there’s some nepotism in the hiring process. Perhaps it’s how they keep him off the streets or grant him respite from the boredom at that basket-weaving institution.
Don’t be so harh on him. We must uphold the dignity of the developmentally regressives during the brief period before they lapse into complete stupor, or we will be held accountable by Santy Claus.
“Uh, you mean there’s such a shortage of journalists in East Carolina that they can’t locate writers (or editors or proofreaders) that can construct complete sentences consistently?”
That sounds about right. I believe that this is the college newspaper, so I don’t know about this guy being a “professional journalist” either. But between this guy and the fucktards from UNCW, I’m extremely glad I live in the western part of the state. Except for the whole “harboring Eric Rudolph” thing people over this way did.
As a matter of fact, Yosef, it is the college newspaper… and I go to that very same college.
I’m just glad I don’t have to run into the guy on campus.
(And I would gladly work as an editor/proofreader for the paper, if the positions weren’t all filled up.)
balganwall-
I just figured that it was the college paper from the unoriginal name. Ours was called “The Appalachian”. Guess where I went to school.
I just figured that it was the college paper from the unoriginal name. Ours was called “The Appalachian”.
I always thought that college was supposed to stimulate original thought… or something like that. Guess it doesn’t apply to the rags that they print. Oh, well.
Gee, everytime I think wingers can’t sound dumber, you find us another one.
Too depressing for words.
I swear…I never got the email…I think. I dunno. Maybe it was part of one of those “larger penis” emails I get all the time…like I really need a larger one. Hell, I can barely reach the keyboard as it is…
Sorry Jenny or notJenny.
~Tom
Does he not know who Ted Sampley is? This is the guy who gets in fistfights in offices, who was harrassing and insulting McCain for years – this guy is the Infamous Nutjob Conspiracy Dude of the POW movement, who claims to be the One True Veteran, and if all Sampley got was a one-finger salute, he got off easy.
That’s like saying that someone is bad because they flipped off a senior citizen – without mentioning that the senior citizen in question was the late Richard Butler…
I’m glad you came back. I was almost desperate enough to read The Dark Window!
And I didn’t know that Yosef went to uni in Alaska! Thanks for the info, guys, it helps stalkers like me.