Gun Counter Gomer Is Fixin’ For Some Killin’
Why, it’s Confederate Yankee again, and he’s been all stirred up by something he read on the Internet. Could it be the tide of liberalism destroying all that remains of our stand-up rooty-toot civilization of small landowners, prosperous non-unionized laborers, Know-Nothings, proponents of Free Silver, genial Ku-Kluxers, cowboys, soapy and pink-eared salesmen just in town for the convention, lone honest sheriffs, and independent Scots-Irish distillers?
Multi-Gunshot Suicides Soon to Be On the Rise
So says the Supreme Court.
Or is it the Supreme Court, that love/hate institution that keeps testing conservatives’ sense of constancy by issuing a ruling that makes them beam with pride for the democratic tradition of the independent judiciary, and then another ruling that makes them turn around and scream for the permanent abolishment of the treacherous viper-at-democracy’s-breast that has always been the so-called independent judiciary — or vice versa, depending on when you came in?
It almost reminds us of a macabre old urban legend.
There is a macabre old urban legend that has floated around for years in which an exceedingly bad person—a wife-beater, a child-abuser, or other such societal dreg—is found perforated with bullets, and knowing local law enforcement officials note that the miscreant’s death was a serious suicide, where the deceased if found having shot himself in the head and/or back multiple times, in some variations even taking the time to reload an empty weapon and fire again.
Such stories, of course, are told with a knowing smile.
Above: A knowing smile passes unto Confederate Yankee
Oh yes indeed. And indeed, one might even say that such stories about such stories are told with a knowing smile. Heh. Oh, this is subtle. We’re not sure, but we think he’s implying something.
We find before us—and perhaps a bit beneath us—a Supreme Court of the United States that in this session has found more sympathy and more previously unknown rights for suspected terrorists and child rapists than it has for the average American.
Because according to habeas-so-called-corpus, the average American is thrown into prison with no hope of… And, um, the Bill of Rights says that terrorists get to eat lemon chicken and walk free due to a technicality, because of the… See, unlike child molesters, the average American is executed for crimes that she never has a chance to… Aw, the hell with that confusing legal mumbo-jumbo. I say we kill some people, and I say we start soon.
From Bagram to Baltimore, expect to hear some names and dates begin to be associated with this and similar urban legends.
It is a truism of the human experience that when a people sees their system of justice fail due to inequities in the judicial process, they will find justice on their own.
Then again, it is a truism of the Confederate Yankee experience that he get something whoopingly, carpet-poundingly wrong every time he leave the gate, and pardon the double helping of subjunctive there, but we hasten to remark that of all the places in the world that begin with the letter ‘B,’ Bagram might not be the absolute best choice for an alliterative pairing with ‘Baltimore’:
Years After 2 Afghans Died, Abuse Case Falters
In the chronicle of abuses that has emerged from America’s fight against terror, there may be no story more jarring than that of the two young men killed at a United States military detention center in Afghanistan in December 2002.
The two Afghans were found dead within days of each other, hanging by their shackled wrists in isolation cells at the prison in Bagram, north of Kabul. An Army investigation showed they were treated harshly by interrogators, deprived of sleep for days, and struck so often in the legs by guards that a coroner compared the injuries to being run over by a bus.
But more than a year after the Army began a major push to prosecute those responsible for the abuse of the two men and several other prisoners at Bagram, that effort has faltered badly.
Of 27 soldiers and officers against whom Army investigators had recommended criminal charges, 15 have been prosecuted. Five of those have pleaded guilty to assault and other crimes; the stiffest punishment any of them have received has been five months in a military prison. Only one soldier has been convicted at trial; he was not imprisoned at all.
On the other hand, damn: Maybe ol’ Con-Yank is a worse person than we thought.
Animation: Righteous Bubba
You damn Americans, always claiming the credit. I’ll have you know that British troops have actually beaten an Iraqi (Google Baha Mousa) to death. Serious punishment was noticeable by it’s absence.
Just establishing a legal basis for holding terrorists is an unacceptable burden on our fine system, imperfect though it might be, still the best system in the world nonetheless.
And we don’t want to be like those few remaining nations, Iran and China for example, that still put their citizens to death for criminal behaviors.
Oh No.
We want to be WORSE. We want to lower the magnitude of the crime for which we can execute our citizens. Not jaywalking, certainly, but forgery oughta get another look, fer gawds sake…
mikey
Bring it on!
Animation no work. Sniff.
Remember that time when I defended British troops in a court of law? Me, a Revolutionary American? And I defended British troops in a court of law?
What possibly would make me do that? Shouldn’t we just hang those ol’ Redcoats, sans trial or anything?
I guess what I mean to say is…fuck you, Confederate Fucking Wankee Asshole Prick.
Up yours, John Adams. This Wankee fellow has it right. Guns up, baby.
Bubba, do you still have the animation file? I think Google Video has lost its copy.
I’ll have to consult the magical box of wine before I can dully render my decision.
Mikey – Indeed; the list of offences which draw the death penalty must be expanded for the protection of all. Dafydd’s moustache would be a fucking good start.
The fact is, fix the video. You liberals.
Do all wingers lack chins? TRAGIC.
I see… It goes like that:
“Nice scarf, jihadi bitch! Bam-bam-bam-bam!”
Next day in the paper:
“Celebrity TV chef Rachel Ray was found dead with multiple gunshots to her head and body. the police has ruled it a suicide”
Nice!
People say “lynch mob” as if it were a bad thing.
“Celebrity TV chef Rachel Ray was found dead with multiple gunshots to her head and body. the police has ruled it a suicide”
Michelle Malkin fingered for the crime by rightwing bloggers.
Youtube at eleven.
There is a macabre old urban legend that has floated around for years in which an exceedingly bad person—a wife-beater, a child-abuser, or other such societal dreg—is found perforated with bullets, and knowing local law enforcement officials note that the miscreant’s death was a serious suicide, where the deceased if found having shot himself in the head and/or back multiple times, in some variations even taking the time to reload an empty weapon and fire again.
Somebody needs to plow a few rounds in that dreadful run on sentence.
Btw, the video isn’t working for me. I hit play and get nothin’.
Ok, but there is some hope in all this.
The postulated existence of a serious suicide necessitates the existence of a humorous suicide.
And what with suicide being such a dark topic and all, I think anything we can do to lighten it up a little has got to be a good thing…
mikey
I’m sure the many child rapists and sundry other societal dregs who read Yankee’s blog are giving serious thought to their various predilections now.
He’s sooooo dreamy. He is the law – you won’t fuck around no more!As usual the ones who bleat loudest about how AWESOME the Freedomspread is, and how the U.S.A. is the most freest and justest and kindest country ever in the history of time are the most eager to see us become a sadistic police state. It would be ironic if they weren’t all such dumbshits.
You laugh now, but when the “suicide” rate for therapists of children increases threefold by next summer, you’ll be laughing out a different orifice. Or something.
I have a feeling that quite a few Taroists in this country are nervously looking over their shoulders as well…
I’m so old, I remember when a bunch of people who acted as judge and jury were called “an angry lawless mob,” and people who called themselves “Good Americans” were agin’ ’em.
I can just imagine said right wing blogger vigilante justice gang.
“Holy sh*t! I thought I shot the uncle who raped the kid, but I just saw on the news that I shot the kid’s dad! God, I hate these stupid a**holes for not clearly identifying themselves before I shoot them!”
Scalia can’t possibly condone executing people for raping children; he knows there’s a serious shortage of Roman Catholic priests as it is.
I personally believe that CY would look very stylish in a Judge Dread helmet.
It seems somehow appropriate to post this link here
Hearing doesn’t explain how 22-year-old got $300 million defense contract. A 22 year old arms dealer gets a $300m contract. Only in America.
Hmmm… a suicide who stops to reload the gun… isn’t that how the CIA killed Allende?
Huh?
Isn’t that why the good lord, in his infinite wisdom, invented the hand grenade?
mikey
If only I could have that on video! Please, someone get production rolling on a TV show where John Adams is the goody-two-shoes high-school student who repeatedly gets swirleys and wedgies for being a mild-mannered truth-teller. In the season finale, Tommy J, the heart-throb badboy, defeats John Adams in his class president re-election. End scene with John Adams contemplating suicide through a Creed-backed montage.
My thought as well. Somebody needs to clue the winger in that really stupid ideas can be hidden better in short, coherent sentences rather than long, boring passages that go on and on and on and on and on and…
Jesus fucking Christ. All the fucking sanctimony over this shit is enough to make me absolutely nauseated. Do these pricks know how many fucking child rapists they interact with every day? Do they have any fucking idea how many child rapists they probably think are swell guys? If their buddy’s five year old girl came to them and explained what Daddy was up to, what do you want to bet every last fucking one of these pricks would assume she was goddamned LYING, and immediately skip off to tell the buddy what the little brat had said. And then be perfectly okay with him beating the hell out of her because, hey, she lied about him and when teh wimmin try to ruin your reputation, you have to smack ’em into line. It sure wouldn’t be proof he actually was raping her, either. Pardon my bitter ass, but I get like this every time I watch people go on about what child molesters get in prison, too. You, you personally, every last fucking one of us, knows or has known some kid somewhere who was molested or raped. And pushed down any suspicions because it’s too goddamned unpleasant to think about. And then these pricks spend a little time thinking about how much child rapers deserve to die or suffer and figure that makes up for it in some way because it puts us squarely on the side of the good people who think child rape is bad. Maybe it’s the PTSD talking, but every time I watch some asshole get all self-righteous about punishing the abusers while ignoring the abused–because it’s not the actual fact that there’s a suffering victim that gets their ire up, it’s the fact that someone is doing something they find sexually icky–I want to spit on them. If they think child rape’s so horrible, they can find and HELP the child, but I’ve never seen any evidence any of these pricks wouldn’t walk right past the bleeding kid to kill the rapist. That’s not moral opposition to an evil fucking crime, that’s looking for an excuse to commit one of your own.
Confederate Yankee, real name Hyman McGee is one of the foulest zionists on the net.
I hope his oriental wife takes his life savings to the casino and latch onto a real war-vet, not this fake chickenhawk.
So let me get this straight… sending a child rapist to rot in jail for the rest of their life with no hope of parole is such a horrible miscarriage of justice that it’s better to lynch them than let them face trial and punishment?
Did anyone think that executing child rapists means that those who rape children and then murder them aren’t getting any extra punishment. It’s like you get to do the murder for free.
Shorter Confederate Yankee:
“Habeas Corpus… isn’t that the disease you get from fucking around with dead people?”
Fixed. W/ a knowing smile.
Although I’d personally have no problem pulling the switch on an actual child molester, I can’t support the death penalty.
For every scumbag like this, you risk a guy like this and this. I wouldn’t want that on my conscience. Although Canada ruined their lives, at least they are still alive and now free and exonerated. The death penalty is wrong wrong wrong.
(But if I could I’d gladly bust the chops of the asshole (friend of the family) who molested me and my kid sister. His rationale, according to our mom: his wife got breast cancer and didn’t please him anymore. I wonder how many other kids he did.)
Tom: Permit me to grammatically, genderly and gingerly correct your phraseology:
So let me get this straight… sending a child rapist to rot in jail for the rest of
theirhis life…Fixed. Thank you.
Also, D. Sidhe just rocked my little world.
It’s simple.
You can “punish” people quite effectively without killing them.
Killing them lessens us all as a society, even leaving aside the possibility you might make a judicial error.
Enlightened societies do NOT kill their citizens. Barbaric, backward societies do. It is a practice that has all but died out. Populations would simply rather their government did not commit murder in their name. No matter what the justification.
Our superstitious, puritanical, fundamentalist population believes in twelfth century “justice”. The rest of us have gotten past that. Now, what kind of society do we want to be?
mikey
I was disqualified from jury duty once in a death-penalty case. The state of Tennessee is all death-penalty-a-go-go, mostly to impress the multitudes of mouthbreathers come local election time. Our county prosecutors are especially keen on the notion. Anyway, comes the disqualifying round, and each potential juror is brought into the courtroom separately, set up in the witness chair, and questioned by the authority figures as if she’s the one on trial, which in a sense she is. “Could you vote to convict, knowing that the death penalty might apply?” the attorney general boomed through his mic. I thought briefly of lying and saying “Yes! Yes, by ‘god,’ it’s the law, and the law must be upheld! Most certainly I could!” — thinking, as all aging true-hippie Boomers do, work within the system, work within the system — lie, get on the jury and be the fly in the redneck ointment. But I couldn’t do it. I just had to spill my spiel and opine as to what I thought of the death penalty, its misuse and racist tradition, and that to my way of thinking “the state” had no right at all to kill anyone, for any reason, in my collective name.
Needless to say I was dismissed. The young (black, of course) defendant was convicted, and sentenced to death. If there’s ever a next time I’ll keep my yap shut and serve on the jury. Yeah, I’m one of those people who’s not “smart enough” to figure out how to avoid it. Something about that civic duty/privilege thing.
Lesley, I’m good with that. Honest to Christ, if anyone should get to put down a child molester/rapist, it should be the victims, and I honestly cannot imagine that what stops any of us is the fact that it’s illegal. Either you do it because you physically or mentally have to, or you don’t because you couldn’t, you didn’t have to, or it’s not who you are. I don’t judge any of that. But some of these fuckers are just mad they can’t kill all the sexual deviants they find icky, and when they start down that road it doesn’t stop till they’re done killing everybody else they don’t like. Especially when they’re the same assholes conflating homosexuality with molestation, I really wonder exactly what they’re saying their perfect world would look like, and it creeps me the hell out.
If it’s personal, fine. And maybe it even is for the nutjob quoted above. But I’ve known people who were outraged in the abstract, and you watch some of these people trying to make it personal and you wonder what’s going on in their brains that they have to scream so loudly about what the bad people deserve. I’ve known *abusers* who were outraged their chosen target was being victimized by someone else, for Chrissakes. And they sounded just like the String ‘Em Up types we’re seeing today.
There are a lot of victims out there–especially the young ones who are abused by their parents–whose trauma you would only add to by executing their abusers on their behalf. It doesn’t in itself mean we should or shouldn’t do it, because that’s not universal and there are surely some victims who would benefit from evidence that society says what happened to them was both wrong and wholly the fault of the abuser. But I’m not getting even the whiff of a hint that some of these would-be vigilantes are even considering that, are even thinking about the victims at all. And maybe I’m speaking only for myself, but I don’t need to watch assholes fantasize about avenging me when I know damned well that the same assholes would consider me a sexual deviant only marginally different from my rapist.
One of the very nicest things about Iowa is that we are not a death penalty state. Every now and then, some bunch of politicking politicians tries to drum up a “movement” for reinstating the death penalty, but it never gets anywhere. We have the eminently more sensible life in prison without possibility of parole. The state hasn’t murdered anyone here since the early 60s.
It’s a damned good thing, too, because Iowa has some seriously over-zealous prosecutors.
This phrase is the unsung hero of this entry:
“our stand-up rooty-toot civilization of small landowners, prosperous non-unionized laborers, Know-Nothings, proponents of Free Silver, genial Ku-Kluxers, cowboys, soapy and pink-eared salesmen just in town for the convention, lone honest sheriffs, and independent Scots-Irish distillers”
Bubba, do you still have the animation file?
Forwarded.
It’s really simple.
You think you’re ready to kill somebody for a past transgression in cold blood?
Really?
You can drop the hammer. But then, two things.
First, you gotta watch that poor dead motherfucker die. At your hand.
Then you just gotta live to be what, seventyfive or eighty?
And you think those pleading, desperate, dying eyes won’t haunt your dreams?
Go back to your comic book, motherfucker…
mikey
D. Sidhe, I concur. Most people I’ve encountered in comment threads who froth at the mouth for the death penalty haven’t got any direct experience as victims. But I can appreciate their reasons for frothing at the mouth, at least in Canada. Too often, heinous criminals are let out. Recently we had four cases of violent serial sex offenders being put in minimum security halfway houses. All of them walked out. Over and over we’ve seen violent criminals (here in BC) walk and reoffend. People think bringing back the death penalty would lessen their risk and mitigate the flaws in the justice system. They’re wrong, of course, but I can understand why they’re frustrated.
In my neck of the woods, a truly heinous criminal is up for parole after serving 25 years. He’s using Canada’s “faint hope clause” to try and get out of prison. His crime? Executing 3 generations of a family he stumbled across in an isolated campground in the BC Interior. He lied at his trial and said he killed them so that he could have their camper, but what he really wanted was their two girls, aged 11 and 13. He executed the adults in cold blood, kidnapped the girls, raped them for two days, then shot and stuffed them in the trunk of the family car, assembled the dead adults in the front and back seats and set the car on fire. He got caught several months later because he stole the camper and used it. He lied at his trial and his lawyer managed to get his charge lessened from first degree to second degree murder.
This story has hit the news and comment threads in on-line newspapers are filled with outrage. Threads on a story like this are predictable. Many people think the solution is to bring back the death penalty. Some of them say “just bring it back for guys like this, guys where’s there’s no reasonable doubt.”
Frankly, I couldn’t care less about this man’s life, and if a person related to the family offed him, I wouldn’t lose sleep over it. But the fact is, the solution for guys like this is so simple and obvious – life with no chance of parole. And his “life” in prison doesn’t have to be fancy. Food, water, four walls, a bed and a toilet. That to me seems like a suitable punishment. I’ve often asked people who cry for the death penalty if they would change their mind knowing such a criminal would get a cell, food, water, and no tv, books or computer. The vast majority calm right down imagining these perps stuck in a cell for 30 or 40 years with no company and no way to entertain themselves.
Canadians have reason to fear men like this, because all too often they get out. We have lax and stupid parole boards filled with political appointees. Idiots who are fooled by the crocodile tears of psychopaths. Our underfunded justice system can’t handle the volume of offenders. Judges can be real fucking idiots.
The parole board is unlikely to let this guy out, ever, because his crime is so heinous, and because the cops involved in nailing him have made it their life’s mission to see he never walks. And, of course, Canadians are quite vocal in these high profile cases.
It’s the low profile ones, or the cases you forget. And suddenly you read in the paper that so and so is out and he’s lethal to kids and women. And the voices become scared and angry again.
The solution is possible, feasible, doable. Government just has to make it happen.
Lemme see- can’t speak their language, don’t know where they’re from, someone got 5 grand to turn them in WOW LET’S TORTURE THEM until they tell us where Saddam hid the nukes.
Where oh where has my America gone?
Dear,
I’m a korean living in seoul.(name: Oh Minseok)
Korean special investigative team investigated samsung
corporation.
But they did not work right.
Suspicious to have been bought off.
Samsung corporation had many crimes.
And the team investigated samsung corporation.
It contained korean companies samsung,hyundai,sk CEOs’ illegal issuing
stocks or bonds. ( previous CEOs or present CEOs )
The quantity are plenty.
(Three company CEOs did(and are doing) many crimes to me.
Many koreans are knowing it.
But many koreans are bought off by illegal issuing stocks or bonds.
Korean prosecutors and judges and bureaucracy are also guilty.)
The team knew it.
Korean special investigative team must investigated this.
But they concealed it.
I ask for asking for this criminal investigation to prosecutors in any
country and THE WHITE HOUSE(http://www.whitehouse.gov ) and INTERNATIONAL COURT OF JUSTICE(http://www.icj-cij.org/ ) and INTERNATIONAL CRIME COURT(http://www.un.org/law/icc/) and UN SECURITY COUNCIL(http://www.un.org/Docs/sc/).
And help the shareholders and me.
P.S)
Three companies are hacking me and trying to kill me.
And are suspicious to use my name and email illegally.
If you receive another message that I dictated above are not true,
it is not from me, but from three companies.
The things I dictated above are true.
Speaking of being able to kill and live with it, I saw a film some years ago about a Dutch woman who, during the second world war, shot a man who’d raped her daughter (a young child at the time). The town she lived in conspired to help her. In fact, the brother of the man refused to help the perpetrator when he crawled back to their shared farm. The brother dragged the offender to a nearby well and drowned him to finish him off.
There are some circumstances in which – I think – it’s possible to kill and live with yourself. There are women serving time in prison who’ve killed abusive boyfriends…men who’ve raped them, their kids. They can live with themselves.
I can only imagine how a parent of a raped or murdered child must feel. I don’t condone this, but I understand it.
My ex’s daughter was molested when she was 7 by the boyfriend of her daycare provider. When my ex found out, he reported it to the police and let the justice system handle it. When the perp was released on bail (he served no time, just got a slap on the wrist because that’s how these offenses were treated 15 years ago), my ex used to drive by their house or park in front of it and sit watching in his car. He didn’t do anything, but he wanted to. Beat the guy up, mostly. I discouraged him, but couldn’t blame him. If it were me? I’d want to kill the bastard.
Can’t help but feel the point is being missed. Child abusers/molesters/rapists are cowardly chicken-shit scumfucks because they victimise unsuspecting humans with a gutless display of overwhelmingly one-sided force. This is done solely to make themselves feel powerful and suppress their nagging social impotency.
So brave, heroic people need to shoot them repeatedly!
Past the point of their acts, why they are the way they are doesn’t matter to the victims.
What astonishes me are their fan clubs. Many of these guys have women sympathizing and clawing to marry them. Talk about freaks.
First of all, while I have issues with murdering even the profoundly guilty, that’s not the reason to oppose the death penalty. The reason to oppose the death penalty is that it kills innocent people.
It has to; the people operating it aren’t YHWH; they make mistakes.
If you live in a country with the death penalty, your government knowingly murders innocent people.
This is central to my point.
No, seriously; I want to point out that Confederate Yankee is using a talking point that I’ve heard a lot lately; We’re giving rights to terrorists OMG!!!
Yankee, and many less stupid people, seem to assume that the American public has no ability to comprehend the concept of presumption of innocence. This is a basic principle necessary to understanding even the basics of a Law & Order episode.
I mean, really, we learned as children why people are presumed innocent until proven guilty in the court of law.
I really don’t like it when people talk to me as though I haven’t even completed the fifth grade.
Not to mention the slight disconnect in assuming that the government is too incompetent to, say, give money to poor people without somehow destroying whole states, but are so competent when it comes to deciding who deserves to live and who should die that they should be classified as deities.
Lately, mainstream commentators have been openly challenging the most fundamental philosophical principles of American, nay, Democratic governance. What bugs me is not that they do it, per se, but that they act as though our freedoms have no history to them, as if the people who wrote the Magna Carta never even considered the idea that hearings take time, or that it never even occurred to the people who wrote the bill of rights that they might allow some criminals to get away with crimes.
People like Confederate Yankee aren’t just against America; they act as if America has no history and as if our laws have no purpose. It’s rather frightening, really.
See the Onion:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/homoerotic_overtones_enliven_nra?utm_source=slate_rss_1
I gotta say, I get tired of reminding people that in real life, Vigilantes are more like Brown Shirts than Batman.
And what with suicide being such a dark topic and all, I think anything we can do to lighten it up a little has got to be a good thing…
Would you believe, two wetsuits and a dildo?
It is a truism of the human experience that when a people sees their system of justice fail due to inequities in the judicial process, they will find justice on their own.
Bullshit. If this were true, Richard Nixon would have been hanging from a lamppost the morning after that crooked scumbag Ford issued the pardon.
Whatevr.
I think it’s obvious that Gomer’s been listening to Tim Easton.
This begs the question ..
What do Al Gore and raped children have in common ?
Answer
The only urban legend it reminds me of is the “News of the Month” in an early 1970s National Lampoon after the death of a political leader in South or Central America: “AIEEE! Our Beloved Leader has shot himself in the back 57 times from a distance of fifteen feet, pausing only twice to reload!”
ps: Not “begs” the question, but “raises” it, if you think that it does. Please.
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