“With the exception of the cross-burning episode…” Well, yeah, with the exception of that! And these are the people that accuse liberals of being moral relativists.

the recent unpleasantness at Licking Heights
Title of a lost masterpiece by Thorne Smith.
Illustrations by Edward Gorey.

While he claimed he was trying to demonstrate the electrostatic tool to students and described the image as an “X” rather than a cross, the report – carried out by independent investigators – insisted it was a cross.

The family of one child filed a federal lawsuit against the teacher, claiming that his civil rights had been violated. They said the cross remained on his arm for three or four weeks.

Was it really important to determine whether it was an “X” or a cross? If a teach branded my kid with anything that lasted three to four weeks, they’d have to have a big debate over whether I caused the teacher’s broken nose with a baseball bat or a softball bat.

(Telegraph.)

“teacher.”

You should always check your grammar when hyperbolically threatening theoretical teachers.

Coach Dave! It’s been awhile! Pastor Swank and Coach Dave, back-to-back.* It’s like old times!

Pharyngula had that cross-burning story up a few weeks ago, and of course everyone was wondering if the school board was going to let that loon keep teaching. I’m glad they finally got around to firing him. The science folk ripped Freshwater to shreds.

So he’s a friend of Dave, eh? Why doesn’t that surprise me?

* I apologize if I made anyone picture Coach Dave and Pastor Swank back-to-back, perhaps naked or wearing matching wet suits. I’m sorry.

Totally OT, but George Carlin died at 71: http://www.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idUSN2339172520080623

I saw his last tour. Morrison Center, Boise. I’m just glad I got to see him before he died.

The linked article about the church services is a masterpiece. Somehow I wouldn’t be able to make myself label the protests “visiting the churches”, but I suppose that’s why nobody’s giving me twelve fifty for five to twenty five words.

But this is my very favorite bit:

He said he plans to concentrate his efforts on First Baptist Church. He will be outside the church building every Sunday, as long as it doesn’t rain.

Because God clearly declared an exemption from the work that is witnessing if it seems likely you might get soggy. I’m pretty sure that was part of the Jonah story.

Red, I didn’t know that. Ah, jeez, I really loved George Carlin.

Saw Carlin, too. Two years ago this past February. I watched a LOT of stand-up in my youth, but he was far and away my favorite. God, that just sucks.

It’s awsome how all the nutcases seem to know each other. It’s kind of like when you run into an old friend at the bar, completely out of the blue, and you play catch up for a few hours over beer. Except with them they have to deal with the stench of burned flesh and all the spittle.

except for fucking every goat he sees, john freshwater is a stand up guy

well

I guess you gotta stand up to fuck a goat

so he an “all Around” stand up guy

So I finally get to an entry early enough to make a comment before the thread goes into its death throes and … and … well, really, what is there to say? Except to note that it took this “branding” incident, and not the teacher’s incessant proselytizing, or his probable anti-science “science” teaching, to get the guy fired.

Damn, I wish I was funny. George Carlin. Man.

Thanks for the laughs, George. Keep ’em coming.

George Carlin was like a third parent to me from around the age of 10-12 on, after I found my parents’ copies of his 70s work.
I miss him already.

Fuck anyone who says a prayer for him.

Someone should hold John Freshwater down and brand 666 on his forehead, as a safety measure for the community.

I’m curious, what kind of “device” burns a symbol onto your skin that lasts three full weeks but doesn’t leave a permanent scar?

George Carlin died tonight.

Shit Piss Fuck Cunt Cocksucker Motherfucker Tits.

Some see the glass as half-empty. Others see the glass as half-full. I see the glass as being twice the size it should be.

Requiescant in pace.

Oh, and that insane lunatic fuckwad burning children?

Your God willing you go down for child molestation.

Your sorry pederast ass won’t last a week.

I’m curious, what kind of “device” burns a symbol onto your skin that lasts three full weeks but doesn’t leave a permanent scar?

A Violet Wand.

I find the categories at the bottom of the Wikipedia page most telling.

I am so glad that there is the internet.

I’m sure next school year he’ll be torturing at a private school.

The violet wand doesn’t sound right, brandi. It’s described as something comparable to a TENS unit that provides electrical stimulus or electroshock, not branding of the skin.

maybe he used a cauterizing pen…maybe he’s into sadomasochism…maybe he’s a freak!

Here’s a picture of the device he used. “The BD-10A High Frequency Generator can produce 50,000 volts of electricity at its tip.”

Oh my Godz, this story just gets worse.

The school’s principal spoke with Freshwater on Dec. 10, three days after one boy’s mother complained that the pain of the burn on his arm kept her son awake.

Principal William D. White wrote a letter to Freshwater in January, telling him not to shock children with the device. The letter noted that it would not be placed in his personnel file unless he shocked his students again.

So not only was this idiot shocking and branding kids, but the goddamn principal knew about it and gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Freshwater was not immediately disciplined nor were the police or Children Services contacted right away.

That’s because school officials didn’t think Freshwater intended to harm the students, said schools Superintendent Stephen Short.

“We believe the equipment was not used in an acceptable manner,” he said. “We didn’t think it had criminal implications.”

Even though

The tool…comes with a warning: Never touch or come in contact with the high voltage output of this device

and the company that manufactures it says

“We have instructions to warn people that it’s not a toy,” said Cuzelis, who owns Electro-Technic Products in Chicago. “If this device is directed for seconds (on the skin), that’s a clear misuse of the product.”

here’s more, including the results of the school board investigation. Apparently this religious freak/faux science teacher has been branding kids for years. Like hell this is news to the principal.

Shit Piss Fuck Cunt Cocksucker Motherfucker Tits.

I didn’t know until today that his middle initials were D.P. This is the most depressed I’ve been since we lost Galbraith.

Christ.

Sweet Fucking Christ. When my good lady wife and I wind up having kids, I’m going to do my damndest to find a school where the science teachers aren’t Creationists, and the math teachers don’t claim Pi is exactly 3.

They also had reports from all the high school science teachers talking about how every year they had to reteach basic science for the kids who had Freshwater as a teacher, that those kids came to high school steeped in creationist material and very hostile toward evolution and practically all of modern science.

See, this is why you don’t let fundies ‘teach the controversy’. You give them an inch, they’ll take Alsace-Lorraine – and, to leave the metaphor behind, the slightest nudge away from them results in them making your children stupider.

If he wants to teach this he needs to do it in the context of a theology class, which would only be appropriate in a private school. Don’t fucking indoctrinate children. It’s fucking inappropriate.

Freshwater led a healing ceremony to drive Satan from an ill school visitor

Fucking awesome. Maybe he knows the Governor of Louisiana.

“With the exception of the cross-burning episode. … I believe John Freshwater is teaching the values of the parents in the Mount Vernon school district,”

And he left a lasting impression on their kids, too! Ba-dum-ch!

(Any right-wing nonsense makes more sense if you throw in some rimshots and pretend it’s arch satire.)

And just in case anybody had any doubts as to the sheer, indescribable lunacy that is the fundie mindset…

Fer instance,

No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest “cover” of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims.

A man can have sexual pleasure from a child as young as a baby. However he should not penetrate, sodomising the child is OK. If the man penetrates and damages the child then he should be responsible for her subsistence all her life. This girl, however does not count as one of his four permanent wives. The man will not be eligible to marry the girl’s sister.

and from the “it ain’t just a river in Egypt” category…

I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don’t think he’s ready to date yet. What’s worse is that he’s sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!

Oh, there’s plenty more where that came from. Yikes. Be careful. The stupid, it burns.

Oh, I’m with Auguste in that the question would certainly not be “x or cross?” Anybody, particularly someone legitimately in a position of control, burned shit into any child of mine and the question would be “Do you think he was alive or dead when the gators got to him?”

That this went on for years simply amazes me. I would have thought that at least one irate and unfortunately drunken parent would have separated this teacher sick bastard from one or both of his kneecaps.

Hmmm, let’s see. Wingnut arithmetic sez… one fundie plus one B&D torture device plus umpteen children equals? Anybody? Beuller?
Well, we’ve all seen this equation so often now the answer should be obvious. Just fill in your choice. I think “two wetsuits and an enormous dildo” seems appropriate, but the grading is flexible.

The fact is, you liberals will make up anything to let the liberal media and the biased leftist academic “experts” push their agenda in the Heartland.

OK, Seriously, seeing George Carlin was the only redeeming factor of being stuck in Reno after Tahoe. Back to my elitist ways.

Since when did the imaginary friend of a deranged *teacher* become more important than not physically harming – nay, torturing, when you think about the age/power gap – school children? I thought all that mumbo jumbo xtian stuff preached peace and love. But then I’ve only heard about it from third parties.
– MC

justme, that is one terrifying place you link to. Absolutely love this one though:

One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn’t possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it. [emphasis added]

Perhaps Carlin read this right before his heart attack and actually died of an overdose of stupid.

“With the exception of some genocide episodes, Mr. Hitler has done an excellent job as Germany’s chancellor. His work rebuilding Germany’s outmoded transportation infrastructure is particularly laudable,” Daubenmire noted.

I love it that he defended himself by claiming it was an X instead of a cross! First of all, when the chips were down he denied his faith! Hey, would a teenage girl with a gun trained on her by two high-school mass murderers do that? Also, just imagine the thought processes that went into deciding that people would excuse his searing their children’s flesh if he told them it was just an X.

Hey, I was only inducting them into my Satanic murder cult!

I’m curious, what kind of “device” burns a symbol onto your skin that lasts three full weeks but doesn’t leave a permanent scar?

I don’t know but it sounds kind of witchcrafty to me.

EXCEPT? EXCEPT?

Hey, except for that time I put a brick through some fundamentalist shit bag’s face, I’m a peace loving guy. So it’s all good, right? This is why I can’t stand those TalEvangical fucks. Everything they do is fine and dandy provided they can recite a few key phrases. But if anyone else fails to do as they say you get this bullshit:

Dave Daubenmire’s Minutemen United group has been disrupting gay-friendly church services in central Ohio.

I wish they would take their special edition Hate Thy Neighbor bibles, shove them down their wetsuits and fuck off.

Sad to hear about Carlin.

I don’t know much about Coach Dave, but can someone reconcile this:

PASS THE SALT is committed to bringing together the body of Christ across denominational, racial, and economical borders to demonstrate to America the power of Biblical unity. Our vision is to unite, organize, and mobilize the Army of God to be SALT and Light as stated in MATTHEW 5:12.
I understand that religious wingnuts have a tenuous, at best, grasp on reality but I was under the impression that they had a pretty solid grasp on the Bible (so it doesn’t budge to much when they thump it). Is this guy just making up his own Bible verses?

I guess Dave just has a problem with the number 13.
Matthew 5:13 – Salt
Matthew 5:14 – Light

Here’s 5:13
You are the salt of the world. But if the salt should lose its taste, how can it be made salty again? It’s good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled on by people

So, yeah – that clears it up totally.

Also, from the on Geraldo link:

The producers of the show questioned why it was so hard to find someone who would defend John…

Yeah, I don’t know why that would be hard, maybe something to do with society not being accepting of that whole branding of children thing.

Clearly the Islahomos have terrorized the legions of good ‘Muricuns who are pro-child abuse into silence!

That just isn’t possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.

The White Face, it burns us! We hates it! We hates it almost as much as the filthy Bagginses!

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Man, Coach Dave sure likes to defend the faithful. The next link down on his home page is about Michael Marcavage. This Michael Macavage. On the plus side, Repent America is also responsible for Bush Revealed where they used to argue that W wasn’t evangelical enough. It seems kinda pointless to submit anything for NWOTW when you got Coach Dave doing scouting for you.

The third link from Coach Dave’s front page of wingnutty goodness is about the the arrest of Jason Werner. Jason Werner the former GOP hopeful to run against the superhot Elizabeth Kucinich’s diminuitive husband.

Jason Werner. Some crazy shit there.

I saw Carlin live once, a couple years ago. He was awesome.

Coach Dave’s webpage is fun. In addition to the misspellings of “allegedly” his recounting of the tale of the ACLU suit is artful, to say the least!

Dave Daubenmire, a veteran 25 year high school football coach, was spurred to action when attacked and eventually sued by the ACLU in the late 1990’s for alledgedly mixing prayer with his coaching. After a two year battle for his 1st amendment rights and a determination to not back down, the ACLU relented and offered coach an out of court settlement. God honored his stand and the ACLU backed off.

Of course, if one reads other sources, one discovers that the ACLU sued the School District, not Coach Dave himself, and that in the settlement the District agreed to stop all religious indoctrination activities and allow the school’s activities to be monitored by the ACLU. The ACLU received $18,000 in legal fees.

He goes on to list the accomplishments of his group, which include bullying a local grocery, and standing for a photo op with Judge Roy Moore. He claims to have defended a guy for some religous thing, but the guy’s name – at least as spelled by Coach Dave – isn’t recognized by the Great Gazoogle. He also claims to have been a part of community efforts to prevent a gay bathhouse from opening in Columbus. I found one article about that, with a reference to the protestors:

A group of 6 to 12 people from area churches gathered each morning at 7:30 from March 10-16 to circle the building, chanting prayers and speaking in tongues. They stopped coming after Flex employees offered them coffee and doughnuts.

Here’s a fun bit of research someone else did about Coach Dave:

What if Daubenmire had been a good person?

I particularly like the bits about the suit Coach Dave filed after the ACLU suit, which he lost, that show what kind of coach he actually was. These are all from court records:

Daubenmire was disciplined for allowing two students to leave school early without permission from the administration to buy car parts for his car….

Between 1991 and 1998, Daubenmire also bypassed the established chain of command on several occasions, and failed to timely turn in money from an athletic sale in violation of the school policies. In 1994, Daubenmire received a written warning for mailing letters to local clergy using letterhead, envelopes, and postage provided by the school.”

since the ACLU suit in the late ’90s, Coach Dave has discovered he likes the courts!

Akron Beacon Journal
Wednesday, Nov. 7, 2007

A fedral appeals acourt has ruled that three men can sue the city of Columbus over getting permits to burn flags, documents or other items for demonstrations. A three-judge panel’s ruling sent the case back to the US district court in Columbus, which said the men lacked standing to sue.
The plaintiffls are David Daubenmire, founder of “Pass the Salt Ministries”, whose group says it is “devoted to upholding Christian values” and sought permits in 2004 to burn US Supreme Court decisions and other items, and two men who earlier pleaded no contest to charges of burning a gay-pride flag at a 2001 parade.
Charles Spingola and Thomas Meyer were convicted in Franklin County Environmental Court and were fined $100 each for the misdemeanor charge of open burning of the gay-pride flag without a burning permit. The 6th US Circuit Court of Appeals opinion rejected their efforts to seek damages and also the plaintiff’s claim of selective inforcement.

Thanks g, that was an entertaining read. I was tooling about the ptsalt site looking for examples of the type of asshole this guy was, but it’s so nice that Happy Jihad has comdensed it into one lovely indictment.

OMFG! via Dave’s own Minutemen United pals the Geraldo clip.

Seems that Geraldo and FOX aren’t evangelical enough for Coach Dave. Here’s a taste:

G: I’ve seen the pictures, and the Board saw the pictures. Are you saying that the Board lied?
CD: I think that what you’ve seen is a very biased one-sided presentation right now.
G: What I’m seeing is a cross branded onto a youngsters arm.
CD: Yes I know the charge Geraldo. But you’re smart enough to know that evidence is not the same as proof. That’s why we have courts of law…

Then a brilliant “they’re persecuting the Christians” rant cut of by Geraldo saying “Oh Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave. Dave. Wait a sec.

Wow. Taken down by Geraldo.

CD: Yes I know the charge Geraldo. But you’re smart enough to know that evidence is not the same as proof. That’s why we have courts of law…

Unless the courts of law find that two men have the same right to marry as a man and a woman or something crazy and radical like that. Then it’s time for right-thinking citizens to take up their pitchforks!

By the way, AP (and its crackerjack team of lawyers who are reading this right now): This – The school board of a small central Ohio community voted unanimously Friday to fire a teacher accused of preaching his Christian beliefs despite staff complaints and using a device to burn the image of a cross on students’ arms. – is a really shitty sentence.

At first read, I had “he was fired despite staff complaints and torture. Like there was some other reason. Just terrible writing. And editing.

That will be $15.50. Just send it to the ACLU. Cool. Thanks.

Freshwater led a healing ceremony to drive Satan from an ill school visitor

Freshwater and the healing ceremony drove Satan to McDonald’s where they had a quick meal before driving back to the ill school visitor.

Why wasn’t he fired long ago? Is that too simple of a question?

Paintball not good enough for these guys?

“Atheists have the greatest “cover” of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims.”

This might be the stupidest sentence ever created.

Yessir, all that Jesus-denying and Yahweh-bashing I engage in is nothing more than a smokescreen for my love for Allah.

Because what most atheists secretly long for is an even more patriarchal and restrictive religion than Christianity.

What. Morons.

… “With the exception of the cross-burning episode …

“Well … other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?”

justme–

My own personal favorite from that list:

“I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie.”

They can’t even count.

“I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie.”

Best. Bumper Sticker. Evar.

Another doozy from the Top 100:

“Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It’s no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history.”

Just around the corner from my house they’re bulldozing a church to make way for a slave labor/execution camp for Pentecostals.

The same thing must be happening all over the country.

Pat Robertson said it, so it must be true!

Gimme that old-time mutilation … or not.

Evangelical culture in America takes another bold leap forward – into the pre-Renaissance period. The impromptu witch-burning picnics aren’t looking that far up the road, to judge by the extreme type of child-abuse that School Board was ignoring.
Coach Dave (& all his equally repulsive Cro-Magnon-wannabe apologist buddies) can bite me.

The stupid piles up so fast on fstdt you need wings to stay above it:

“Jesus is not a Jew. Jesus was Jewish.”

“I am 100% pro-life, unless we’re talking about capital punishment, in which case I am 100% pro-death.”

“Constants seldom are … pi changes depending upon the strength of the gravitational field involved.”

“I’m a God-fearing college dropout redneck hick landlord who goes after darwinism with freaking vengeance….and I just happen to have the truth on my side.”

“For example, there is evidence for the wh0re of Babylon due to a 666 mile long penis in Mexico.”

“The word of God has been in heaven forever. The KJV has always been there. The so called Hebrew words like Alleluia are English words. The English did not borrow them from the Hebrew but rather the Hebrew borrowed them from the English. If the KJV has always been there and is the original word of God then there is no other conclusion. The same can be said for any so called Greek words that were borrowed from the Greek or transliterated. It is a matter of what bias you approach this particular subject.”

And here’s the topper:

“Top Ten Signs you’re a dumbass atheist:

10. You vigorously deny the existence of God, yet you frequently blame him for everything that is wrong in modern society.
9. You repeatedly insist that man did not, in fact, evolve from an ape. Apes and men both evolved from another species who did not resemble Curious George in any way.
8. You criticize Christians who don’t know their Bible, yet you have never opened any of Darwin’s texts.
7. While all created evidence and reasoning point to a Creator and absolute truth, you prefer to hide behind relativism and a theory of evolution which does not, in fact, describe the creation of the universe at all.
6. You can’t seem to understand the fundamental differences between fundamental Muslims and fundamental Christians (hint: strap-on TNT)
5. You willingly attribute all historical atrocities in Europe to a demographic that contained approximately 100% of Europeans during the period in question.
4. You also like to ignore the beneficial discoveries of the aforementioned demographic.
3. You don’t realize that a closed system can be defined however the observer wants, so you throw out technological phrases to try to ignore the implications of thermodynamics.
2. You accuse Christians of being hateful and you hope that they DIAF.
1. Your biggest complaint is that these typically hopeful and caring people want to share the greatest single thing in their life with you. You’re like an idiot who wipes with winning lottery tickets. Clap. Clap.

Clap.”

Hoo boy.

a healing ceremony to drive Satan from an ill school visitor
Yes, but did he depart in a drove?

the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today

I ferget, is this because we laugh at them, or because we say “Happy Holidays” to them?

Strap-on TNT sounds decidedly unsexy.

Is it an arc, or a crescent?

Well, here’s a cry for help:

so you think if no one believed in any religion there would be no wars or fighting? i think it would be worse. i know if i didn’t fear god’s judgement i would have killed many many times.

jeebus

This site is just a gold mine:

Masturbation can sometimes be wrong and it can sometimes not. If you masturbate thinking about how pretty the flowers are and how you want a puppy, essentially that’s not wrong. But most times, that is not the case. I believe that when one masturbates a high percentage of the time they are fantasizing about a sexual partner therefore making masturbation lust. Lust, as the Bible states, is a sin. But masturbation is something that people in general should stay away from because it’s hard not to lust whilst doing it.

I like it that masturbation is ok if you think about puppies when you get off.

jenniebee–

Wow. Somehow I missed that one.

Flowers. Puppies.

“It’s hard not to lust whilst doing it.”

Words fail.

If you masturbate thinking about how pretty the flowers are…

For god’s sake, keep that person away from Georgia O’Keefe paintings!

For your reading pleasure, a point-by-point rebuttal of our fundie friend’s Top Ten–

10. Yes, we vigorously deny the existence of god. We blame the problems on the braindead sheep who believe in an intergalactic space daddy and are willing to kill or enslave those who do not–work that he could clearly do himself considering his omniscience and omnipotence.
9. Men and apes likely had a common hominid ancestor. This is far from proven, but is generally accepted as good science by, you know, scientists.
8. I don’t know about you, but I did my senior thesis on Darwin. Most people I know are far more familiar with evolutionary principles than, say, Georgie Boy with the bible, who after a “bible boot camp” still did not know what book the parable of the talents came from. This is kind of a big miss because that’s the passage the fundies tend to use to biblically justify their hoarding of wealth.
7. No, evolution does not explain the origin of the universe. No scientist has ever claimed that it did. The Big Bang does its best to explain this; evolution describes the origin and diversity of species on earth.
6. Yes, Muslim fundies have been known to “strap-on TNT.” Christian fundies deliver it by stealth bomber, helicopter, howitzer and tank.
5. Europe has indeed long been populated by Europeans. They tended to fight with one another because of differences in religion, specifically Catholicism v. Protestantism and Everybody v. Judiasm.
4. European science has contributed much to the world’s body of knowledge. When they figure out how to resurrect the hundreds of millions of people they killed during the colonial period, they’ll be about even.
3. I don’t even know what this means.
2. Anyone who thinks that killing another person is a good idea is hateful. Most of the drumbeat for the killing of Iraqis came out of the christian rapture scenario, which requires a massive Middle East war for jeebus to return. QED, many christians are hateful. I would never wish that anyone DIAF.
1. If a Stone Age mystic philosophy bolstered by an Iron Age “messiah” is the greatest thing in your life you are not thinking clearly. I would never wipe with a winning lottery ticket because I do not gamble. It is one of the few christian principles I happen to agree with.

The golf clap was a nice touch.

Dumbass Athiest – I think #3 is in reference to the terribly idiotic argument that creationists try to make, that the 2nd law of thermodynamics proves that evolution is false. Look here for more information, but essentially the creationists ignore that Earth isn’t a closed system (it gets energy from the sun) in trying to make their case.

Doctor Missus Marita–

Ah, yes. The closed system.

Someone over there beat you to the punch…

“One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn’t possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it. [emphasis added]”

Yup. Nobody knows a thing about any outside energy source.

Nosiree. Not in this Solar System.

Just around the corner from my house they’re bulldozing a church to make way for a slave labor/execution camp for Pentecostals.

I heard they have a big one down in Guantanamo for all those Christians. Closer to home, just be a Christian and try to get a cab in NYC at night.

Yup. Nobody knows a thing about any outside energy source.

Nosiree. Not in this Solar System.

I think the problem is that they need to come out of their fallout shelters to get some light. Or air. They are showing all the symptoms of oxygen deprivation.

That’s because school officials didn’t think Freshwater intended to harm the students, said schools Superintendent Stephen Short.

“We believe the equipment was not used in an acceptable manner,” he said. “We didn’t think it had criminal implications.”

?????!!!!! And this WASN’T a criminal matter? The family had to bring a civil lawsuit? Why the hell weren’t they down at the police station swearing out a criminal complaint against this jerk for assault & battery and child abuse?

1 Man that thermodynamics thing has to be a joke. I just keep telling myself that anyway. Subtlety is hard to do, especially on the internet, where for every beyond-the-fringe stupid idea there is an even stupider one.

2 “This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me.”

3 Kids volunteer — actually volunteer — to just do the stupidest thing possible every SINGLE SECOND OF THE GOD DAMNED DAY! When I was taking chemistry in high school one of our labs was to release hydrogen from calcium hydride or something — we filled up balloons and then our teacher (a Jesuit priest) provided us with a pretty cool homemade device for exploding them, in the stairwell, in flames.
It. Was. Awesome.
But if any of us had been branded or otherwise maimed, even temporarily, even if we had snuck in when the teacher wasn’t around that guy would have been in some serious shit, I’m sure. Because teachers are responsible.

What if you just think “Ah, it’s awful nice to scratch that itch!” does that make it bad or OK?

Please, please, PLEASE let Coach Dave come to MY church!

Man that thermodynamics thing has to be a joke.

Sadly, no.

(When confronted with the obvious, the budding astrophysicist pointed out that sunlight lacked the power to resurrect the dead.)

This is the kind of lawsuit that attorneys dream of. You could do the cross-examination in your sleep.

“It’s true, isn’t it, that you knew that Mr. Freshwater had been branding his students for years?”

“You told him that if he didn’t do it again, you’d keep all reference out of his personnel file, didn’t you?”

“You took NO ACTION against this teacher until one of his victims filed a lawsuit against you, correct?”

Cha-CHING!

I think that the teacher in question needs to have pentagrams branded onto both his cheeks. Hell, all four of them in fact.

The Bible is clear that homosexuals are sex perverts and enemies of the LORD God. Your support of these sodomites is disgusting.

Whatever you think, you will not be able to change God’s Word and will one day have to pay the price for not believing what God has written.

Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

Romans 1:22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,
V23 And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.

V24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:

V25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, Who is blessed for ever. Amen.

V26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:

V27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

SAY THIS PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I am a sinner and am headed to eternal hell because of my sins. I believe you died on the cross to take away my sins and to take me to heaven. Jesus, I ask you now to come into my heart and take away my sins and give me eternal life.

Your support of these sodomites is disgusting.

No it’s not. It’s sexy!

Rev Spitz–

Your fanatic adherence to an imaginary Stone Age tribal storm god’s insane rantings written down by lunatic zealots even more insane than the god they imagined is demonstrative of your complete and utter ignorance of the workings of the universe, the solar system, the planet, and the human race.

The fact that the insanity was sort of tempered by the arrival of an Iron Age “messiah” does little to mitigate your lack of vision.

There is no god. Deal.

There is no god. Deal.

Oh, that‘ll work. I’m sure Mr. Sunshine up there will take that right to heart. Heh.

Why do I suspect that the good Rev. has already been quoted once or twice on the page I linked to?

I heard they have a big one down in Guantanamo for all those Christians. Closer to home, just be a Christian and try to get a cab in NYC at night.

You try walking through the mall in a Christian suit and…

Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

I hadn’t planned on lying with mankind. They wouldn’t all fit in my bed.

Here’s a prayer for you Rev Spitz:

Dear god,
Hope you got the letter,
And I pray you can make it better down here.
I don’t mean a big reduction in the price of beer,
But all the people that you made in your image,
See them starving on their feet,
cause they don’t get enough to eat
From god,
I cant believe in you.

Dear god,
Sorry to disturb you,
But I feel that I should be heard loud and clear.
We all need a big reduction in amount of tears,
And all the people that you made in your image,
See them fighting in the street,
cause they cant make opinions meet,
About god,
I cant believe in you.

Did you make disease, and the diamond blue?
Did you make mankind after we made you?
And the devil too!

Dear god,
Don’t know if you noticed,
But your name is on a lot of quotes in this book.
Us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look,
And all the people that you made in your image,
Still believing that junk is true.
Well I know it ain’t and so do you,
Dear god,
I can’t believe in,
I don’t believe in,

I wont believe in heaven and hell.
No saints, no sinners,
No devil as well.
No pearly gates, no thorny crown.
You’re always letting us humans down.
The wars you bring, the babes you drown.
Those lost at sea and never found,
And its the same the whole world round.
The hurt I see helps to compound,
That the father, son and holy ghost,
Is just somebody’s unholy hoax,
And if you’re up there you’ll perceive,
That my hearts here upon my sleeve.
If there’s one thing I don’t believe in…
Its you,
Dear god.

“I believe John Freshwater is teaching the values of the parents in the Mount Vernon school district.”

Unfortunately, this is quite true, even without the exception that I didn’t quote. Small town Ohio can be pretty scary. Repeated or prolonged exposure can cause all sorts of idiocy.

Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

So, this doesn’t say anything about cocksucking, Rev. Does this mean that it’s all well and good to go around hoovering all the hairy harbles one can wrap one’s lips around?

Technically, I don’t suppose it says anything at all, really. It would be awfully difficult to “lie with mankind, as with womankind” seeing as how there’s a hole missing, or is God saying that I should be cornholing my gal rather than, y’know, the “regular” stuff. Now I’m confused. I thought we were supposed to be fruitful and multiply, but if I’m only supposed to stick it in her pooper, those are going to be some ugly babies.

Also, this just never gets old.

I missed Rev Spitz? Nuts.

You’ll note that not only is cocksucking okay, but so is all forms of lesbianism. In fact, by a strict literal interpretation the only people this effects is bisexual men who do it with men the same way they do it with women. And possibly only if you do it lying down.

Oh wait. The Spitz-take distracted me from why I came back to this thread. PTSALT has their take on the Geraldo interview up. The “evidence is not the same as proof” interview.

Daubemire has been kicked off the Freshwater bus!! Freshwater has a website bibleonthedesk.com which states that it is “the only official source of information…no other person or group has the authority…” Freshwater’s list of spiritual and legal advisors does NOT include Daubenmire’s name. Freshwater’s lawyer needed to gag Daubenmire because Freshwater is claiming that he didn’t burn anyone and, besides, it wasn’t a cross, it was an “X”. Daubenmire’s “With the exception of the cross burning ..” statement admits that it was a cross and it was a burn. The dope didn’t even have the smarts to use the word “alleged”. I think it’ll be hilarious if Daubenmire gets called by the prosecution to testify in court!

Also Freshwater never joined the NEA teacher’s union. He’s on his own when it comes to paying his legal fees, hence, the begging for donations.