Wanted: A Cartoonist
I’m thinking of writing a comic strip about a dystopian future where Supreme Commander Hussein Obama X has outlawed Cheetos, has given the entire Southwestern region of the U.S. back to Mexico and has thrown all ungrateful white people into Reparations Camps. The story begins with the 101st Fighting Keyboarders, led by Jonah Goldberg and a now-cyborg version of Glenn Reynolds, living underground and secretly plotting the overthrow of Hussein X’s hated tyranny. The title for this masterwork will be called “Barackalypse Now.”
If anyone knows of any good cartoonists who would be interested in illustrating this heart-pounding adventure, drop me a line. Thanks.
Gavin adds: What, like I don’t have enough art stored up already?
Above: Resistance Leader Goldberg rallies the Wolverines
UPDATE: Once again, my sorry attempt at parody is no match for reality:
Obama As You’ve Never Known Him!
By Dana Milbank
Friday, May 23, 2008[…]
The group, assembled by something called America’s Survival Inc., gathered in the basement of Ebenezer Coffee House at Second and F streets NE. They shared the stage with a big drum set, and posters documenting items they would seek to tie to Obama: an SDS newsletter from 1969 (when he was 7), and a police killing from 1970 (when he was 8).
[…]
[T]he star of the show was the ancient Herbert Romerstein, who once plied his trade for the Un-American Activities committee. “We decided to start going back and seeing what things influenced him even before he was born,” Romerstein announced without a trace of irony, before tying Obama to the Communist Party of the 1930s in Hawaii and Soviet spies on the island. “This is the atmosphere that young Barack Obama grew up in.”
The smoking gun? Obama’s “mentor” during his teens, according to Kincaid, was “a key member of a Soviet-controlled network that was sponsored by Moscow and active in Hawaii.”
These accusations fall somewhere between guilt by association and guilt by invention, but the accusers were just getting started.
[…]
One inquired about the link between “the American left and Islamofascists.” Another asked about nefarious influences on Michelle Obama. A third raised the possibility that Obama’s “change” slogan is based on the 1961 communist “Movement for Change.”
“It’s clear that the communists and the socialists are backing him,” Kincaid confirmed.
The questions continued: “The Obama-Muslim connection . . . the background of Michelle Obama . . . How he gave $23,000 to this church . . . Was it connected with Tony Rezko . . . the results from Gary, Indiana, which were so late in being released.”
It was beginning to sound like a UFO convention.
[…]
The evidence was compelling enough for participant Friedman. For him, the Rosetta Stone was Obama’s chief strategist, David Axelrod, who Friedman alleged was the protege of a man with “a Communist Party-front record” in Chicago. “The more I look at this, I’m seeing there are a lot of red-diaper babies around here,” he deduced. “By putting these pieces of the puzzle together, I’m beginning to see something much bigger.”
Six more months of this stuff. Should be endlessly entertaining.
Chris Muir ?
Well, you could always do photoshoppy goodness like The Editors with their Keyboard Kommandos series (now the Amazing League of Pundits).
Beyond that, I can’t really help you out. Sorry.
I said good cartoonists.
Already done, my friend. Check out ‘Liberality for All’, a comic that depicts Sean Hannity, Oliver North, and G. Gordon Liddy as the last true freedom fighters in an alternate history where President Gore has turned over America to UN Secretary General Jacques Chirac and Osama Bin Laden. Sounds great!
Check out a few pages here… IF YOU DARE
I’d happily do it, if I could only draw.
So instead, I just have to say: I support Brad’s endeavor.
Also, alternate title: Barack Dawn.
Wolverines!
Barackylpse Now: “He’s a pantload-warrior, man!”
Sounds like a Grant Morrison project to me.
The Empire Strikes: Barack?
Barack in the Saddle Again?
Barack: To the Future?
The Obaminator?
Barackinstein?
Young Barackinstein?
2008: A Barack Obamasy?
You need to add something about Osama Bin Laden becoming Secretary of State or something. And the feminists have to be doing something evil to.
You need to add something about Osama Bin Laden becoming Secretary of State or something. And the feminists have to be doing something evil to.
Oh, I’ve got plans for that. Hussein X’s first act in office will be to free Mumia and make him the Secretary for Killing Whitey. As a compromise to Hillary Clinton, he’ll make her head of the new US Castration Department.
No stone of right-wing paranoia will go unturned!
Nevermind the Baracks?
Combat Barack?
Obama Calling?
For those about to Barack (We Salute You)?
It’s Only Barack Obama but I like it?
What Ever Happened to My Barack Obama?
Obamian Like You?
Obama de lo Habitual?
re:Update
BWAHAHAHAHHA!!!!11eleventy-one
in 1967 Barack Obama was moved from Hawaii to Indonesia where he went to school for three years and thus, from ages seven through ten, spent more time closer to the Viet Nam War then the entirety of the current Senior Administration.
I’m constantly surprised that when the wingers bring up Rezko, they focus on the shady real estate dealings. Come on you magnificently delusional nutjobs, we’re talking about a Syrian with experience designing nuclear power plants. I mean with a backstory like his, tou’d imagine they’d at least be calling him gay or abusive of the S-CHIP program or something.
You could talk to Dugan at Zen Comix.
The group, assembled by something called America’s Survival Inc.
Their web site.
Look Barack in Anger?
Don’t forget to have Supreme Commander Hussein Obama X outlaw whiskey so that Hillary can never have another shot.
Six more months of this stuff. Should be endlessly entertaining.
Entertaining, yes, but also sad because this stuff works on a not-insignificant percentage of the population.
In a sense, we get the president we deserve, and if, as a nation, we hold enough sheer stupidity to vote McCain because “ZOMG! Obama iz a commie nazi islamofascist with a scary preacher!” then we deserve the punishment. I just wish the punishment didn’t have to be absorbed by the people who aren’t stupid enough to go for that crap.
Six more months8.5 more years of this stuff. Should be endlesslyentertainingnauseating.Maybe you could make this a Super Hero sort of thing. Jonah could be The Mighty Load, ten times as soft as ordinary men! Ace O Spades as The Spartan, the most heterosexualist hero ever, with a very heterosexual type beard! Pastor Swank (or P’azztor Z’wank as he is know on his homeworld) as the Martian Evangelical! Michelle Malkin is Token Woman!
See if you can get whoever illustrated this masterpiece.
Plan 9 from Obama Space?
Barack of a Nation?
Barack and Roll High School?
Fletch?
Seriously though, Jonah couldn’t lead a trip to the bathroom let alone a movement (pun intended.) He would still want to be at the back making not very funny pop culture references. Hannity on the other hand is insane and egotistical enough to get the train rolling.
Barack Adder
Will Michelle Obama sing, “Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina”?
Ace O Spades as The Spartan
Actually this could be kind of fun. You could make it like The Superest and each super hero gets defeated by the next. Ace of Spades would clearly be defeated by The Playdough Persian.
Or the Baconator.
Just make sure the Secret Service guys all look and dress like Huey and the Panthers. I WANT that !
Whoa! That anonymous illustrator is awesome!
whoever illustrated this masterpiece.
The owl (I assume it’s spotted) carrying the dynamite is a nice touch.
The art’s great, but I would have put a pentacle tattoo on the hippie chick, just to cover the Lesbian Wicca contingent.
Aha – per Boing Boing, the NRA comic was allegedly illustrated by this artist. I have no idea what his politics are like, but he’s clearly capable of drawing beautiful parody-grade rightwing paranoia porn.
“We decided to start going back and seeing what things influenced him even before he was born,”
Pee-wee: Exhibit “Q”! a scale-model of the entire mall! X marks the scene of the crime. These arrows here show the exact position of the sun at the hour of the crime. Jupiter was aligned with Pluto! The moon was in the seventh…
Chuck: Pee-wee!
Pee-wee: Please save your questions until I’m THROUGH, Chuck!
Last of the Obamicans?
The Great Barack and Roll Swindle?
Fletch 3?
Get Chris Gall on the phone!
Strange how Obama won’t do the following
a) release his medical records
b) detail which Chicago campaigns he worked on as a community organizer
Many Chicago campaigns for African-American Democrats involved blatant racebaiting, and threats like “if someone votes against Harold Washington on the southside, they should be hung”
Obama saw what happened to Harold Washington and Ned Lamont when they got too close to Jesse Jackson, and that’s why he’s distancing himself from Jackson and Sharpton, even if they’re both close advisors to him.
It’s disgusting to me how sexism has dominated the so-called ‘feminist’ Democrat party. Clinton is clearly leading in the popular vote, and I am telling all the women I can talk to that Clinton is losing the nomination due to her gender.
She should be the nominee for her popular vote lead. More people voted for her than voted for Barack Obama, after all.
What a maroon. Back in the day, I swaddled my young-uns in American flags and wiped their ass with pages from the Bible. Get your facts straight, Kincaid!
Fixed.
Gary…….. is that really you?
I am telling all the women I can talk to that Clinton is losing the nomination due to her gender.
Gary, didn’t that restraining order change a thing? Women carry tasers and tear gas now.
Gary thinks his peeps hate Clinton so much that McCain will win. That wy he can walk around with a Permanent Republican Majority in his pants.
Demonstrating, that yet again, these guys are still stuck in the 60’s. I think the one thing that drives them bug ass ape shit crazy is that Obama wasn’t even out of high school by the time the Vietnam War was over.
They’ve been spinning the same old “New Left/DFH/spitting on soldiers/burning bras, draft cards and flags” record over and over for so many years, that it’s become obvious that they do not have any other material. I say let them continue to spin that 78 RPM ceramic record on the ol’ Victrola while the rest of the world is listening to mp3s… it will only show the world how irrelevent they are.
We would have had do-over primaries in Florida and Michigan, but Obama stopped that.
He can’t possibly be the nominee if he loses in California, New York, Ohio, Texas, Pennsylvania, Indiana, Michigan, and Florida in these primaries.
It’s hard to imagine someone getting a nomination without a significant big state victory. But Obama is about to do it because of his Chicago-based mob that intimidated people at the caucuses.
Nebraska want from 75/25 Obama to 50/47 Obama when a real election was held.
Obama would lose Minnesota, Iowa, Maine, and Colorado in real elections.
In the blue-collar 5th district of Kentucky, Obama lost by a margin of 80,947 to 8,132.
You can’t blame that on racism. Obama’s percentage in that area is actually around the same that Jesse Jackson got in 1988.
Is this the same Fake Gary who asserted that Obama was never a lawyer?
And you FAIL in real life. See how that works?
Get Chris Gall on the phone!
He’d have my vote, but I bet he doesn’t work cheap. I sure wouldn’t if I could draw like that. The NRA might have a funding edge against S, N!, much as I hate to say it.
I say let them continue to spin that 78 RPM ceramic record on the ol’ Victrola while the rest of the world is listening to mp3s… it will only show the world how irrelevent they are.
Nonsense! Everyone knows that analog warmth is superior.
You should get the person/people responsible for this to do your lovely comic, which I would totally buy.
Those conspiracist guys are wackier than a barrel of pothead friends.
Gary Ruppert said,
May 23, 2008 at 20:25 (kill)
We would have had do-over primaries
We?
the fact is, Obama will win HUGE in MN.
We, as Americans.
Plus, Michigan Republicans who didn’t vote in our primary could vote in your primary.
Maybe it’s tGary, who will rant that Obama co-sponsored some obscure farm bill, when in reality, Obama was not only absent during the voting, but he had absolutely nothing to do with the bill.
“Michelle Malkin is Token Woman!”
Instapunditmanperson: “Damn it! The Pantload has succumbed to cheetosis of the spine! He’s immobilized and unable to type. Any ideas, Token Woman?”
Token Woman: “Check yer party membership card, ‘pundit. Last time I looked, ‘ideas’ were for liberal arts majors and dem-symp stooges. Ideas are what got us into this mess. Now stand back and watch me DO something.”
The Assrocket: “What th–!? She’s remote-controlling the Pantload’s own machine! She’s impugning Michelle Obama’s patriotism using HIS computer from the comfort of HER own apartment!”
Is this the same Fake Gary who asserted that Obama was never a lawyer?
Well, there’s no evidence that he ever used his law degree.
“By putting these pieces of the puzzle together, I’m beginning to see something much bigger.”-
Does it look something like this?
http://www.mankus.com/images/Schizophrenia.jpg
the fact is, Obama will win HUGE in MN.
That’s what Gary is afraid of. The idea of Obama’s huge, exciting win thrusting him into the White House, while a heaving, panting liberal mob cries out in joy and relief.
It would make Gary shudder in agony.
Keith Ellison couldn’t win big in a liberal Minnesota district, what makes you think Obama would win big?
Should I see if Steve Ditko wants to come out of retirement?
The fact is, I need a fresh pair of pants.
what makes you think Obama would win big?
the fact that McCain sucks donkey dongs.
“Well, there’s no evidence that he ever used his law degree.”
Other than working as an associate at Davis, Miner, Barnhill & Galland in Chicago from 1993 to 2002?
Nope, not Gary. Much less stilted writing style and he actually RESPONDED to another comment.
What I don’t get is why a Republican “pro-Hillary” concern troll would want us to THINK he was Gary. But then again it’s not like the whole troll campaign hasn’t been completely stupid and transparent from the start.
McCain is a real American hero. Obama has never stood up for his country, and right now he’s on the other side in the war on terror.
Errr, at least you’re TRYING now, but dude, we read Gary posts every day. We know what they look like. You’re not that good at them.
Donkey Dong… hey I remember that video game!
MrWonderful,
Totally unrealistic. Token Woman doesn’t have a remote control, you need a Y chromosome to handle one of those. More likely she’s hiding in the bushes, pulling on the puppet strings with her Internment powers.
This comic is going to be totally awesome, but don’t make the mistake of getting your kid to draw it. Get this guy instead, he totally draws better than your kid.
The owl (I assume it’s spotted) carrying the dynamite is a nice touch.
Actually, I believe that is a Barn Owl
[happy pedant dance]
McCain is a real American hero.
That and five bucks will get you a cup of coffee. Thanks to the Republicans we know honorable military service means nothing. And in case you forgot, McCain actually did commit treason. He gave aid to the enemy. Noboby blames him for it, but I wouldn’t get too snippy about patriotism if I were you. The liberals haven’t even started on McCain and Wife yet.
Yeah, this Gary doesn’t have the nuance down yet.
And oh, what fun they should have with Crazy-Eyed Heiress Hillbilly Heroin Lovin’ Wife!
Sorry, Pedant Gary was me. Also Messy Pants Gary. I don’t know who the other Garys are,I think they just showed up for the food.
I’m just warming up my threats for when the primary’s over and the real fun begins.
I heard there would be donuts.
Also, Barack HUSSEIN Obama is on the other side of the terror war, the side that wants to see fewer Americans killed for no reason.
And THAT’S treason.
Four thousand dead soldiers ago that might have convinced someone who isn’t me.
By the way, the link to Milbank’s piece is totally fucked.
For those who want to read it (and the nearly 300 comments it’s accumulated so far!):
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/05/22/AR2008052203905.html
Yeah, this Gary doesn’t have the nuance down yet.
The fact is, we’ve spoken before about your insolence. I don’t appreciate the negatyive things said about me on these comments.
The fact is, we don’t even have any evidence that Barak is male. He’s never used his allegedy male gender.
Barack in Black.
I said good cartoonists
yeah, and Chris Muir doesn’t even draw that putrid comic of his.
Muir should be featured in the comic though…
Hey, how about Tom Tomorrow?
You need a cartoonist? Trudeau is on a really long vacation right now …
GUYS!!! IT’S THE REAL GARY!!!!! I’M SO, SO EXCITED!!!! GAAAAARR-REEEEEE, I’VE MISSED YOOOOOOOU!!!!!!
I’m guessing Gary needs to pay the rent tomorrow.
Barack in Black.
That’s made of win right there.
The fact is we don’t have any evidence Barack is Human.
He could be an alien, a mutant, a robot.
He could have formed spontaneously out of desert sand, a shattered AK47 stock and a keffieh….
mikey
yeah, and Chris Muir doesn’t even draw that putrid comic of his.
The fact is, what does he do? Come up with the ‘thup thup’ stuff and the ‘sproing’? The fact is, that’s pathetic.
I think Gary’s mom forget his meds. He’s bouncing off the walls today.
Okay, I think we can now leave as settled that question about “Have you no sense of decency sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?”
Can we finally simply state that “long last” should at least cover half a century, and that, no, they have no “sense of decency”?
This:
Gary Ruppert said,
May 23, 2008 at 20:28
In the blue-collar 5th district of Kentucky, Obama lost by a margin of 80,947 to 8,132.
You can’t blame that on racism. Obama’s percentage in that area is actually around the same that Jesse Jackson got in 1988.
is just about the funniest thing ever posted on the internets ever.
Brad—
How do you know? Do you have, say, IP address evidence or some such? Because if it t’were the real GR, this truly would be a red-letter day.
GUYS!!! IT’S THE REAL GARY!!!!! I’M SO, SO EXCITED!!!! GAAAAARR-REEEEEE, I’VE MISSED YOOOOOOOU!!!!!!
The fact is, I can’t tell the difference between the fake Garys and the real thing and the only way to tell is by the IP address (I’m guessing).
Breakin’ 2: Barack-tric Obama-loo
Frank Miller would be perfect to draw the cartoon.
The fact is, I had a feeling it was real Gary. His points were dumb and humorless and made at greater length than necessary to simply troll as fake Gary. Add to this some statistics that he may have actually looked up – once again too much work for an efficient troll – and you have yourself a potent cup of real stupid.
you can often confirm it’s the real Gary my comparing his post to what is up on Drudge at the time. There is usually a suspicious similarity.
Hussein X Obama: I am your father, search your heart you know it is true.
Jonah Dough-walker: That’s impossible. You would only have been (counting on his fingers) seven at the time.
Hussein X Obama: Well what Lucianne wants…
Pantload: Noooooo!!!!! That makes me quadroon!!!
McCain is a real American hero.
He better not say it in those words, though. G.I.Joe has it trademarked.
Don’t forget the part where BHO takes away whitey’s guns, and makes them consume mass quantites of soy products instead. While wearing burqas. And kissing the Quran. And something about teh anal sexx0r.
Needless to say, America’s Survival, Inc. is another right-wing moneytit sucker, like that’s a surprise. They’ve received $335,000 from The Carthage Foundation (another Scaife outfit) among others.
Is Gary Drudge? That would be awesome.
Is Gary Drudge? That would be awesome.
The fact is, no. But I do participate in the eggs and the clothed showers.
That’s where Gary’s been–the Dominican Republic, waiting for Rush to return.
That’s sweet.
Brad, I’d take Gavin up on his offer… if that is what that was. He needs something to keep him off the streets and it’s not as if he’d be as bad at it as The Editors!
Funny you should mention Tom Tomorrow. I was thinking not so much the man himself, but his style. His cartoon started out by photocopying and pasting clip art from the 50’s because he was lousy at drawing. If you’ve seen his stuff from the late 80’s/early 90’s, it’s all clip art. Eventually, he whited out faces to draw in different expressions, and draw his own character(s) (namely Sparky), which got him to where he is today.
The Six Degrees of Separation tactic of identity politics.
That wy he can walk around with a Permanent Republican Majority in his pants.
So *that’s* what’s making that smell.
I’m sure you could make something out of this.
how about the good folks at The Poor Man?
seems like their mad photoshopping skillz would more than suffice in this context.
“We decided to start going back and seeing what things influenced him even before he was born,” Romerstein announced without a trace of irony, before tying Obama to the Communist Party of the 1930s in Hawaii and Soviet spies on the island. “This is the atmosphere that young Barack Obama grew up in.”
Wait, what about the Japanese in Hawaii?
Oh, you know there’s just GOT to be a way to tie Obama to the Pearl Harbor attack.
I’m a Hillary Clinton supporter and I know for a fact that Hillary would never, ever ban cheetos.
Obama… I’m not so sure.
Oh, you know there’s just GOT to be a way to tie Obama to the Pearl Harbor attack.
The Jap fighters were guided by the gleam in Barack Sr.’s eye.
If I might make a suggestion ….
I am afraid to tell you that a film version of your comic is already being discussed
Hey Brad,
You still looking for a cartoonist?
What (or whose) style do you have in mind –Lee, Crumb, Larson, Wilson, etc?
And, what do you mean by “good?”
Most of the best artists I know aren’t your garden-variety upstanding citizens. I guess it comes with the terror… er, territory.