Get ready for Reparations Camp, crackers!!!
Q: How stupid is this presidential campaign going to get?
A: This stupid:
Obama and the Drive for Slavery Reparations
AIM Report
April 21, 2008Barack Obama is the most radical candidate ever to stand at the precipice of acquiring his party’s presidential nomination and the American presidency. It is apparent that he is a member of an international socialist movement which hopes to use the United Nations as a vehicle to shake down U.S. taxpayers for trillions of dollars in slavery reparations. One group, the African World Reparations and Repatriation Truth Commission, is demanding an astronomical $777 trillion.
This is beautiful, man. I mean, really beautiful.
The minute that Obama gets elected president, he’s apparently going to implement his own extreme brand of Obammunism, whereby he aggressively takes Whitey’s bread and redistributes it to the brothers. And what’s more, he’s going to demand… (dramatic music)… $777 TRILLION. That’s like $111 trillion more than $666 trillion. Does this make Obama trillions of dollars worse than Satan? I believe the data speaks for itself, my friends.
Continuing:
In that same year, Martha Biondi, Associate Professor of African American Studies and History at Northwestern University, notes that the United Nations World Conference Against Racism was held. It was the result of “a decade of advocacy and organizing at the U.N. Human Rights Commission” and work by the so-called December 12th Movement. The conference issued a “Declaration and Program of Action,” which held that “slavery and the slave trade” constituted a “crime against humanity” and that “Africans and people of African descent, Asians and people of Asian descent and indigenous peoples were victims of these acts and continue to be victims of their consequences.”
“The United Nations has emerged as an extraordinary stage for the reparations movement,” she says.
As President, Obama could take that stage.
And, you know, look. Let’s say you’re completely right about Obama. Let’s say that he makes the sending of Honky McCrackerlips and all his pals to Reparations Camp the central goal of his presidency. How, exactly, is he going to make it happen? The United Nations? Are you effing kidding me? This is the same allegedly omnipotent international organization whose sinister black helicopters haven’t even been able to kidnap Ron Paul and make him Kofi Annan’s love slave. In fact, they couldn’t even shoot down his super-awesome blimp:
NYYYAAAAAH, you’ll never catch me, UN Dogs!! NYAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Also: White people hate giving up their money. It’s tough enough getting them to pay taxes just to fix the goddamn roads. Obama is a pretty smart guy. Even if he wanted deep in his heart of hearts to make America pay reparations for slavery, he’s bright enough to know that it’s never, ever going to happen.
Now for the really good stuff:
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, whose name has been floated as a vice-presidential possibility for Senator John McCain, told a U.S. Senate committee in February that the State Department had not decided whether to attend the event. Later, however, Rice told the Washington Times that the U.S. still has trouble dealing with race because of a national “birth defect” that denied blacks the opportunities given to whites at the country’s founding. “That particular birth defect makes it hard for us to confront it, hard for us to talk about it, and hard for us to realize that it has continuing relevance for who we are today,” she said.
In this extraordinary interview, Rice, who had always been assumed to be a conservative in her view of racial issues, was quoted as saying, “Black Americans were a founding population. Africans and Europeans came here and founded this country together—Europeans by choice and Africans in chains. That’s not a very pretty reality of our founding.” The paper said that Rice told editors and reporters at The Washington Times that “descendants of slaves did not get much of a head start, and I think you continue to see some of the effects of that.”
Her comments could be used as justification for slavery reparations.
This is terrific shit right here. Simply acknowledging that maybe slavery was kinda, sorta not a good thing now makes you a radical crazy Negro who wants Whitey to fork over his flat-screen TV and iPod. And to suggest that black people actually contributed to building this country while Whitey sat on his fat ass sipping ice tea? Ooooooooooh Condi, your ass is in a world of trouble for this one.
One more thing to add: as the recent Paul Pierce flap has demonstrated, black people have for years been crafting a secretive secret language using only their hands. To quote one wise man:
You see, you’ve just given life to the suspicion that black people in America are, and have long been, a fifth column — unanimously hating the very country that has afforded the highest standard of living ever achieved by black people in human history. We’re teetering at the edge of believing that you’re a secret society, a massive collection of sleeper cells just waiting for your chance to do serious harm to the rest of us.
Reparations Camp, cracker. Your ass is going to it.
Shorter Accuratasticy In Media: We thought Dr Rice was one of the good ones, but she seems to know basic facts about US history.
Let me guess how Paul Pierce came up with this one: he once saw two black people in a restaurant, communicating only through hand signals. They also exhibited other “strange behaviours”, such as writing down their orders instead of telling the waitress outloud.
Excellent find. Great writing. I love this blog.
Teh Google calculator can do word math:
777 trillion divided by 252 million = 3 083 333.33
So, all Obama has to do is figure out how to get all 252,000,000 non-African American Americans to pony up $3.08 million, and there you go.
And once the President declares that he wants something and tells the UN there is no way to stop him.
Except’in for that I’m broke, and even if I worked a long, long, long, long time I wouldn’t have $3 Million, so I guess the Reparations will have to wait a few years more.
Yep. Just another edition of “Things you can’t say”.
America isn’t perfect.
International agreements and treaties apply to america too.
Slavery was just as bad when america did it as when anyone else did it.
Beyond individual racism, there is such a thing as institutional racism.
Some people have an easier path to wealth and success than others do.
Other people are more likely to go to war than some people are.
We imprison and bury young black men in disproportionate numbers.
You know. All the things you’re simply not allowed to mention…
It’s like when your mom farted…
mikey
I’m sure that Obama, being an educated man, doesn’t believe any of the black supremacist rhetoric spouted by Wright. That sort of thing is left for the uneducated audience of that rhetoric.
Of course, Obama will never be elected President – his openly racist church and openly racist wife have made that impossible – so these fears are totally misplaced. Con artists like Wright, Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton will exploit the black community into the foreseeable future, and the reminder of that unlovely fact will torpedo the national electablity of anyone who dallies with them.
You know it, drooges, don’t you? Ah, the run up to November 6 will be exceeded in pleasure only by the aftermath of the total Democratic defeat.
Oh goody. Time for another round of post hoc, ergo what the fuck.
I guess this one runs as follows:
By their very existence black people make white people* nervous. Nervous people tend to have health issues, which over time can become serious, even fatal.
THEREFORE, THE ACT OF SHOWING BROWN SKIN MUST BE A PLOT 2 KILL WHITEEEE!!!
I don’t really want to buy a gun but I want to be torn apart by a bunch of assholes with doody in their pants even less.
*EXCEPT FOR THOSE WHO ARE IN ON THE PLOT!!!!
Like Kofi Annan, Ron Paul is so yesterday. Ban Ki-moon prefers Mike Gravel.
BWAHAWAHAWAHAWAWHWA……
You gotta read the comments …
That just totally made my day. And I would put 1-6 on there, too, but I didn’t want to spoil the fun.
Yes, friends and neighbors, who here can say that any other country on earth has done more to fix relation between Government and black America?
And who can understand why those uppity coloreds continue to raise such a contentious broo haha when we have already given them such astoundingly generous and thoughtful reparations as welfare and black segragation?
…totally made my day.
Does that make me an effete elitist snob?
Considering that the total US economy is worth ~$12 trillion (the global economy is somewhere around $40-$50 trillion, if memory serves. I might be off by a few dozen), I’m not too worried about being forced to pay $777 trillion.
Squeal like a piggy, white boy!
I say teh Truth is a parody troll, because he used the adjective form of the word democrat (democratic) as the modifier for the word defeat.
No wingnut worth his weight in Cheetos would make that mistake.
Well it’s not all at once, they’re talking about $777 trillion over five years.
So will the total Democratic defeat the troll is going on about be as bad as the one in ’06? And the Republicans didn’t have $4 a gallon gas and 4000 dead soldiers to run on then!
Fucking hell. AIM is, amazingly, what passes for “well-respected” in the vaguely right-wing universe. (By the way, the $777 whatever-illion are “per annum, with interest” which suggests to me that there is a translation error somewhere…) Here is a link since AIM somehow forgot to provide one…
To think that Obama, who is absolutely a creature of the neo-liberal establishment, would get this kind of shit makes one shudder.
I’m not sure if that’s a comment or an email subject line for spam.
Also, I’m glad it’s spring, because I can see the annuals of civilization bloom in my flower bed.
Count to ten, cracker ass cracker.
$777 trillion
In the Weimar Republic, that wouldn’t even buy a loaf of pumpernickel.
Here’s some more fine reasoning from the comments section…
Who can argue with that?
Over 5 years? Well. That’s OK, then.
Pocket change.
Christ, what a maroon…Do they really think…no, obviously they don’t. Thanks for the post, Brad. Now to get something resembling sleep before I go vote for that evil communist and verifiably dark and scary Barack in the morning. Buwahahahahahaha!!!
(Was I the only one who heard Dr. Evil saying “777 TRILLION dollars!”)
…bc…
I’m thinkin Condi’s feelin the tickin of her biological clock. Didn’t she bring up similar pregnant metaphors about Lebanon’s labor pains, neonatal growth spurts or some contortion of the birth of a democracy?
Now its black birth defects.
She awtta be careful, its so easy to be out of context, and that would totally blow her chances of being Barrack’s(running) mate.
I vaguely remember hearing about the $777 trillion figure before in an article about absurd lawsuits, where the plaintiffs sought for astronomical amounts of money. Of course, they were laughed right out of court.
Something tells me the $777 trillion thingy probably did come from a couple of black activists trying to submit a lawsuit for slave repirations, and since wingnuts love to take an inch and make a lightyear, this one incident that would’ve faded into “News of the Weird” archives, exploded into zOMFGSCARYBALACKOBAMAWILLFORCEUSTOCOFFUP$777T!!!111oneoneeleventy
Confederate dollars was the currency not the greenback! Pre civil war payment was in a commodity form. Where do you think those bandits of the African desert acquired guns???
They took them from a stranded Civil War battleship. It was all in a documentary a few years ago.
Hokey smokes, I thought AIM was sort of a RW version of something legit, maybe actually pointing out what they consider occasional LW bias in the media, but it’s all “commies” & “McCarthy was right!!”
Even more frightening: Some of you may recollect Advanced Idea Mechanics, which was a front for HYDRA in the glory days of Nick Fury, Agent of S. H. I. E. L. D. I’m really scared now. “Cut off a head & two shall take its place,” etc.
None of us will have any money anyway at the rate the neocons are spending it, no matter what color we are. Good luck finding $28 in the treasury the time Bush/Cheney leave office if they get their way. You can’t get blood out of a turnip.
I’d like to see the neocons that dragged us into an unnecessary war pay reparations too, but that is about as likely to happen as $777 trillion in reparations to African Americans.
I would be willing to make a deal, though – the neocon warmongers cough up the $777 trillion and we’ll take reparations for the war in Iraq out of their hides. Sound good?
So….let’s have a brief review, and summarize what we’ve learned:
EEK! EEK! KNEE-GROWS!1!111!!!!!!
Obama: The Founding Fathers were good, but unfortunately they didn’t free the slaves. But later the slaves were freed, and things are getting better.
Rice: Eeyup, that’s right.
White People: OMIGOD *piss pants*
The things you learn around here. For example, I was totally unaware of this goofball’s existence…
He was outraged when his rant didn’t get the respect it deserved, even though he went out of his way to express his deep admiration for Bill Cosby and Thomas Sowell.
Obama is going to open his own record label with tax payer dollars once he’s elected preznit. Is our country ready for socialized record labels?
Rice told the Washington Times that the U.S. still has trouble dealing with race because of a national “birth defect”
The US has fetal alcohol syndrome?
That’s right, y’all. Please leave the keys in the Prius; I’ll be stopping by tomorrow to repossess it.
Only if they’re Marxist-Leninist-Stalinist record labels. I don’t want to have to listen to any of that goddamn Trotskyite wrecker music.
Barack Obama is the most radical candidate ever
If only.
Wow! I can’t believe that Condi, who I always thought had Patriotically Correct views on race could say something as radical and controversial as “Black Americans were a founding population. Africans and Europeans came here and founded this country together—Europeans by choice and Africans in chains. That’s not a very pretty reality of our founding.”
That’s so terrifying. And extraordinary! Guess you can’t trust any of them. Maybe not even Thomas Sowell! Instapunk vindicated!
Truly,Liberals are the real racists.
Reminds me of when Jon Stewart asked Obama if he becomes president if he’s going to enslave all white people. Obama laughed. Then in a segment with the DS’s black reporter he told someone on the street that Obama was promising reparations in the form of Cadillac Escalades. The guy said “seriously? with rims?”
Seriously, there must be something to this– it’s yet another layer of the Obama the Manchurain Candidate myth. He’s a secret muslim who hates white people and who is going to force reparations or for us all to become muslim under the threat of death. That only works if you believe that the president has kingly powers and isn’t counter-balanced by congress or anything. Although after 8 years of Bush I can see where someone might believe that.
Smut Clyde said,
May 6, 2008 at 5:03
Rice told the Washington Times that the U.S. still has trouble dealing with race because of a national “birth defect”
The US has fetal alcohol syndrome?
Matching armchairs deficit.
~
Let’s start with reparations for Lee Greenwood and Toby Keith, then we’ll talk …
AIM used to be, unless I am mistaken, the right-wing version of FAIR (Fairness and Accuracy In Reporting, which is sort of an SRA (self-referential acronym)) but now it seems they’ve realized that it’s both easier and more effective to just make shit up.
More salvos fired in the foreskin war….
Give me a fucking break already. In 6 months $777 trillion US is going to be what, maybe 1000 Euro? And what’s that in yuan – how many decimal places are needed.
No need to worry – everything is planned for.
Conservatives are for small government, except when it comes to forcing millions of human beings into literal bondage.
That… that’s sensible.
[…] zoe from pittsburgh placed an observative post today on Comment on Get ready for Reparations Camp, crackers!!! by zoe from … […]
And no matter what else happens, we have the sanctity of our foreskins. Except we don’t.
mikey, I TOLD you to keep that nasty purple away from me.
What, have you never been in a ‘black’ restaurant? How could you miss all those colored folks screaming, “WHERE’S MY MOTHERFUCKING ICED TEA?!?!?!?!”
The UN helicopters are powder blue, dammit. The US military ones are black. You people never learn, do you.
Let’s say you’re completely right about Obama. Let’s say that he makes sending Honky McCrackerlips and all his pals to Reparations Camp the central goal of his presidency. How, exactly, is he going to make it happen? The United Nations?
If the U.S. supports the UN properly he can totally do it. We’ll have to provide the battalions of American troops in UN uniforms and the money to buy weapons, and probably the weapons too. I do anticipate a bit of trouble with ongoing recruitment of troops. Probably we’ll have to loan them Haliburton too.
So… being racist, is not racist. But being against racism, is racist. I think we’ve all learned a valuable lesson here today, and that is, any sentence that you separate out into its own paragraph, is true. Ergo,
The simulacrum is true.
Hey, nobody’s getting my motherfucking iPod.
Y’hear?
I wouldn’t worry too much about your motherfucking iPod, OneMan, since the scary Negroes prefer the scary rap-hop over all that honky Kenny G shit.
I like this one. “Legal” slavey was OK. Only the “illegal” kind counts .
“The ‘no staute of limitations’ on the crime of slavery has many issues rendering it a non issue.
To arrive at legitimate accounting of monetary damages you would have to first go to the point when slavery, Iike this by law, became illegal. Then locate, by name, those individuals who were still enslaved. Once this class is determined we must then trace family records to make sure all descendants are included in the class. At that point we must determine who stil practiced slavery, (once it was officially illegal), and figure out who they injured..”
(” Yo , wingnut!. The Emancipation Proclamation didn’t change much,at that moment, so pretty much all of it continued.”)
He could always issue a signing statement… Worked for Bush.
nick said,
#9 Reparations have already been paid with affirmative action, welfare, African American month, black segragation, and other privledges.
“African American month”? Hell, did we give them a whole month! Well that obviously makes up for slavery and lynchings and such, doesn’t it?
“Hey, remember those black people?”
“Yeah, what about them?”
“Well, we’re supposed to think about them this month.”
“As long as it’s just for this month. Can the black people I think about be Tiger Woods and Oprah?”
“They certainly may.”
“Very well then.”
George and Dick et. al. are going to be SO SORRY they built all those secret detention facilities. Once they’re in them, I mean.
Unless…aw shit they’re going to finalize the coup come October, aren’t they?
what’s all this bullshit about reparations ???
us volvo driving, birkinstalk wearing, latte drinkin, abortion loving, terrorist hugging, dirty fucking hippy liberals already HAVE an agenda
first we eat the babies, then we force everybody to have an abortion (men included)
after we accomplish those two things, we toss the repuglitards a bone by repealing the law of gravity …
Waaaay upthread, Teh Truth said:
Heh. Yeah. You and your friends just do that, dear. Ya’ll* all flock to the polls on November 6.
________________________________________________
*I can say “ya’ll”; I’m in AL.
No, no, no. The UN will get all its troops from Africa so that it will be easier to tell who to send to the camps. That way honkie can’t hide. Being white will be like having to wear a yellow Star of David on your coat, because,
wait for it…
The white male is the Jew of liberal fascism.
Also,
The Aristocrats!!!
The UN will get all its troops from Africa so that it will be easier to tell who to send to the camps. That way honkie can’t hide.
I will know to take this possibility seriously when I start receiving spam for Psoralens tablets or Melanotan injections.
Of course I won’t be taking Melanotan II for its alleged aphrodisiac properties.
The white male is the Jew of liberal fascism.
And the white wimmin are the reparations.
“Wskshksghriighlkdsjafmnf,mz!”
This was just a test.
Yes, random typing STILL makes more sense than that Reparations Paranoia post did.
Won’t somebody tell them to get the hell over themselves already?
Obama is as radical as I am premenstrual.
But I really liked seeing the Ron Paul blimp again.
McCain needs one too – he cannot afford to allow a Blimp Gap!
But his should be filled with H, not He (tell him hydrogen works better – it IS more buoyant, after all) … & let him test-drive it. Given his legendary skill as a pilot, hilarity is bound to result.
STOP USING THE WORD “SOCIALIST” WHEN YOU CLEARLY HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT IT MEANS YOU GOD DAMNED IDIOTS
‘Socialist’ means ‘having to actually pay for government services’ instead of borrowing the money from the Chinese, as God intended.
Oh, the humanity!
Urgh. I was enjoying the bold, wingnutty flavor of the AIM article when I made the mistake of clicking on their About/FAQ link and blew my irony meter out.
How soon they forget.
I have to deduct point from this being the perfect racist bullshit article. Nowhere did they mention how Obama was going to create a harem of enslaved white women or even allude to fried chicken and watermelon.
Jeez, standards are so lax these days…
Mike, in teh H…..Shoulderland said, May 6, 2008 at 7:23…
And wasn’t the Holocaust “legal” under German law of the time?
I’d like to apologize to Mr Godwin for yet again demonstrating the truth of his assertion.
At reparations camp, only ramen, dollar store spaghetti sauce and 4-for-a-dollar cans of pork and beans will be served, ofay motherfuckers!
Jim & Blue Budda
Not sure if it was intended, but today is the date in 1937 when the Hindenburg exploded in Lakehurst, NJ. Cheers!
Reparations camp? Oh boy, bug juice, softball games, and gluing macaroni onto paper plates. I can’t wait!
AIM is such a fucking joke. I can remember when they aspired to be what mediamatters has become. Now they’re just another hole that the talking points drip out of.
Sorry, no snark, just disgust.
.
Here’s some rightwing agitprop I received this morning, under the Header “Words of Obama”:
-open quotes-
Subject: SHOCKING IN TODAY’S WORLD
This guy wants to be our President and control our government. Pay close attention to the last comment!! Below are a few lines from
Obama’s books ” his words:
From Dreams of My Father: “I ceased to advertise my mother’s race at the age of 12 or 13, when I began to suspect that by doing so I was ingratiating myself to whites.”
From Dreams of My Father : “I found a solace in nursing a pervasive sense of grievance and animosity against my mothers race.”
From Dreams of My Father: “There was something about him that made me wary, a little too sure of himself, maybe. And white.”
From Dreams of My Father: ; “It remained necessary to prove which side you were on, to show your loyalty to the black masses, to strike out and name names.”
From Dreams of My Father: “I never emulate white men and brown men whose fates didn’t speak to my own. It was into my father’s image, the black man, son of Africa , that I’d packed all the attributes I sought in myself, the attributes of Martin and Malcolm, DuBois and Mandela.”
From Audacity of Hope: “I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction.”
-close quotes-
Just love the selective quoting out of context and the not-very-veiled racism and religious slanders.
This is what the right wing has ready for both Obama and Clinton. They will go straight to the bottom, whoever wins the Democratic nomination, and there is nothing they will not do.
Actually, I firmly believe this country has some sort of national birth defect thing going. It’s true. It causes around 30% of the population to have the I.Q. of your average banana slug.
Now, now. That’s not nice. No reason to go around insulting banana slugs like that.
A hundred trillion here, a hundred trillion there, soon it adds up to real money.
Where does this B.S. come from? There are many of ways to measure “Standard of Living” most of which don’t put the US in the #1 spot.
Hell, we’re only #13 in this “quality of life” list: Quality-of-life_index
I fucking shit myself laughing every time I read that caption on the Ron Paul blimp picture. Seriously, I’m dying just thinking about it.
Wit without intellect is like a joke without a punchline.
You spend all your verbal capital making it clear what Obama won’t and can’t do. Because evil white people won’t stand for it.
What is it exactly you do expect him to do? Could it be that you simply want him as a shining symbol of your own excellent intentions? As a, um, trophy of your superlative moral sensibility?
Does this mean you’d be in favor of a $777 trillion reparation act if it were really achievable? Or haven’t you thought that far?
I don’t get the sense that you think very far about anything. You look in the mirror and see secular saints glowing back at you like the Northern Lights.
The saddest thing is that you deserve the ultimate appellation of your uniquely ignorant and incurious generation. You’re boring.
Oh yeah. Thanks fo the hits on an old post quoted completely out of context. Here’s another about your site’s lame attempts at humor:
http://www.instapunk.com/archives/InstaPunkArchiveV2.php3?a=1319
Gesundheit.
Arranging thoughts into paragraphs makes them more readable.
You’ll be first against the wall on Black Revolution Day, right after Secretary of the Interior Paul Mooney closes all the national parks to graymeats but before Secretary of Defense Farrakhan re-segregates the military, the right way this time.
You may see Reparations Camp, but you’ll be worm food before the first ramen is served, peckerwood.
Peckerwood?
What will we do in Reparations Camp, Senator? Practice up for being worm food? Sorry. Sounds like the German DNA of this site has infected you, too.
Is that really the best you can do? Describe the concentration camp you’d put me in?
Here’s what I’d do to you. Unspeakable torture. I’d make you learn Gregorian chant. No trills, no improvisations, just disciplined singing. German enough for you?
Or is there some point at which you grow tired of being a pissed-off victim and learn to deal with people one on one? You’re welcome to come talk at my website. I’m happy to debate your black nationalism with you, but I think you’ll be disappointed in the response. I’d rather know who you are, where you come from, and what’s happened to make you so mad than exchange abstract threats with you.
If you can be entertaining and not just angry, although angry is okay as long as it’s not repetitiously boring, I’d be happy for you to post at our site.
Instapunk.com.
We have a lot more fun than the “Sadly” folks. Come take a look.
The joke
Your head
“It’s not fayer I don’t gitsta say nigger alla time!”
Some fun, there.
“Let’s say that he makes the sending of Honky McCrackerlips and all his pals to Reparations Camp the central goal of his presidenc”
Sounds good to me, i live in FL. and I could use the elbow room.
Where do you think we’re sending them? Sorry bout that.
Senator Hussein X:
““It’s not fayer I don’t gitsta say nigger alla time!”
Sure you do. You gitsta say it alla time.
You know what? I’m pretty sure you’re not even black. I think you’re some white college boy hitching a ride on the Obama train to feel like some sixties civil rights worker. Your nom de guerre is a giveaway.
If you want to make this work for you in the future, I’d suggest paying for some trash talk lessons. Yes, it would be expensive, but you’d know how to respond to basic jibes without making yourself look like an idiot. It would also do you some good to meet some real African-Americans. They’re much more interesting than your lame imitation of them. When challenged, they tend to show off their intelligence, not their grasp of minstrel dialect. You could learn something.
But you’re probably beyond that. Like all the other phonies who frequent this palace of liberal masturbation.
The joke? Your black sock puppetry. And all the “yes, boss” clowns who endorse your fakery.
You know what? I’m pretty sure you’re not even black.
Wow, you figured that out all on your own? Has it occurred to you yet that he’s not really a senator either?
Martin Querns for President!
InstaFuck: the “It’s not fayer I don’t gitsta say ‘Nigger'” crack was a paraphrase of you, moron.
Lawnguylander:
He’s not a senator either? Damn.
You fellas are just plain pitiful. Know nothing, do nothing, be nothing drivel.
But I guess that’s your whole claim to superiority, isn’t it? Ever rebuilt an engine or a transmission? No. Ever assembled and finished a birdhouse from scratch? No. Ever laid bricks, nailed shingles, spackled drywall, or painted a damn fence? No. Ever written a fucking thing that wasn’t some kind of jeer at people with three times your education? No.
I bet you got some sloppy lowrider jeans that show off your sockpuppet genitals, though.
Is there anything in your life that’s real? Or is it all as smarmy, insubtantial, and pretentious as your presence here?
No. Don’t answer. I don’t even want to know.
Still:
The joke
InstaPunk’s haid
The joke
Goatboy’s never been laid.
Not likely to be, either.
I can’t tell you how much I love the commenters at this site. Every bit the brainless twitrs I’d have expected to be hangers-on for a bunch of unfunny pseudointellectuals writing over their heads (excuse me, haids).
Perfect. Absolutely.
A word of advice. Stop following links to Instapunk. Our commenters would eat you for lunch. Stay right here. With your thumbs up your asses. It looks good on you. It really does.
Our commenters would eat you for lunch.
Hyuk. They’re too fulla squirrel and grits.
Our commenters would eat you for lunch.
Umm. Sure they would.
‘Cause from what I see, they can’t even find a local dentist they can afford.
So tell ya what, ‘punk. Gimme a list of the eaters. What I’m seeing is clowns who can’t even afford the little car and the big shoes….
mikey
,,,be nothing drivel.
We’re drivel? Ouch, honky. That stings.
But I like that argumenting style you’ve got, ask the other guy some questions and then answer them yourself. I’m going to do the same to you but I’m not going to bother to write out the questions, just your answers:
No. No. No. I wish. Yes. Hitler. A bag of dicks. No. No. Cilantro. Three Mexican boys wearing wrestling singlets. No. Ruth Buzzi. A syphillitic wilderbeest.
BTW, they’re talking about you over in this thread. You should go defend yourself.
“The joke
Goatboy’s never been laid.”
Your mom’s just protecting your feelings. In truth she barked like a dog.
So, at what point in your 3X education did you find time to hang drywall, snake drains and patch stucco? Was this at the 3X VoTech? Because when I needed those type of jobs done, I hired it out. Too busy getting 1/3 of the eduction required to muster a “you’re a virgin” riposte, ya know.
Maybe I’ll call you if a squirrel gets into my attic, though. Are your rates competitive?
This is fun. You guys remind me of the old days, when we used to ride the bus from the trailer park to the school and the really smart guys would make all the good jokes about how our mothers were really our sisters. Fun-nee.
Hey. You’re all invited to our next jamboree. Down here in Slowville. We’re gonna cook us up some possum and then exchange first cousins for a game of spin the moonshine mason jar.
After that some cow-tipping and a few rounds of Arkansas Roulette — pulling the trigger on a ten-gauge and see who’s still alive afterwards.
Hey, Goatboy. Ever done anything with your hands besides beat off? Guess what. You can do all the spackling and plumbing and carpentry and still get a collige eddication. Wanna see the deeploma I got through the mail?
Where’d you git YOUR deeploma by the way? Someplace real speshul, I’m guessin’. Mebbe that state collige up yonder Where they give out deeplomas for reading comic books. Whatchur major? Spiderman? Or Supergurl. She was hot wunt she?
I should quit this. I really should. Fielding your dumbass comments is like, well, tipping cows. A guilty pleasure no one should give in to.
BUT YOU’RE ALL SO FUCKING DUMB.
Sorry. Can’t help it. I’m definitely going to stop now. It’s not right to torment the helpless. Not right. Won’t do it. Any more.
“Hey, Goatboy. Ever done anything with your hands besides beat off?”
Ask your mom.
Son, that’s how somebody who doesn’t have so much goddamn time on his hands insults somebody. Also, the goat was done to perfection — tender, moist and well done.
I went to the most elitist madrassa in all of Indonesia. The ramen was to die for.
Fielding your dumbass comments is like, well, tipping cows.
You mean that thing you’ve never ever done.
I just love how they put the fact that slavery and the slave trade is a crime against humanity in scare quotes.
Also this:
Rice, who had always been assumed to be a conservative in her view of racial issues
“Wow, a black person has an opinion on racism! A black person thinks racism exists, or possibly has existed in the past! ZOMG she led us on, we thought she was just as willfully blind as us! ZOMG TRAITOR!!!”
InstaPunk, I’d take issue with your post, but I’m too busy debating some unreconstructed Nazi named “Fuhrer Cheney McGoebbels” at LGF. He hasn’t been able to muster a single argument in favor of national socialism. It is to laugh!
[…] Nope, sorry dude. I’m having way too much fun enjoying the present. And besides, by 2012 the brown people will all have invaded and President Hussein Obama X will have confiscated your Blu-Ray player so it can be added to his $777 trillion Reparations Fund. […]
Ok, my point to this post is this. Why do we even have to fight about what happened 150 years ago. We need to come together as a whole unit and stave off what could become the real NEW WORLD ORDER everyone thought was going on with the Clintons, Gores, and the Bush’s back about 10 years ago with all of the red ties. Wouldnt it suck in the black community with all of the hatred you say you have endured, to see all of what you fought for to be given away to those just now entering this country. Obama wants open border friendly policy with Iran and other rogue countries, he doesnt care about us. He already said we need more immigrants to bring the economy up, there goes more american jobs, for the blacks and whites. The computer firm I was with recently had a mass layoff of over 80 people out of 120. We were replaced with 35 Arabian visa holders here on work contracts who would do our job for 10-15% less of a salary than we were making. And now that they have our job, just like the mexicans, soon they will have citizenship. Alot of these foreclosures in America are being bought up by foreign investors who then sell the note to a bank in their country. Then they turn around and resell your recently lost home to someone from their country to live in. It is a growing trend that soon will eliminate us as the United States of America and then we will become the world land of Whoever still exists. Come on black, white and native american…even some of you mexicans too, since you and the native americans were really here first….. We need to stop this influx of those from waaayyyyy over there and keep our land known as the United States. Re watch and read Obamas interview about his view of the pledge to our flag, and you will see its not color he represents, its control of the people…….He may be a black man, but he is only half black so you will get only a half black perception which i know the naacp wont agree with. But if we came together as humans who are blind to color and realize we all need to stand up, today, and soon we can stop the middle east from having a say in our future….If we dont unite, which with as many interracial couples there are already I do not know why we cant, we will suffer..you, me, him, her, them…all of us. As with the recent killing of Christains was publisized last week from over there—TIME IS UPON US FOR THE CHRISTAIN ARMY TO BE READY TO UNITE AND MOBILIZE…
obongo isn’t a socialist..hes a fuckin nasty mother fucking communist….period….fini…ok you dumb fuck who sadi obongo isnt a socialist…
Good site! great job, thanks