Happy Mission Accomplished Day

God bless our never-ending national nightmare:

On May 1, 2003, Richard Perle advised, in a USA Today Op-Ed, “Relax, Celebrate Victory.” The same day, exactly five years ago, President Bush, dressed in a flight suit, landed on the deck of the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln and declared an end to major military operations in Iraq — with the now-infamous “Mission Accomplished” banner arrayed behind him in the war’s greatest photo op.

Chris Matthews on MSNBC called Bush a “hero” and boomed, “He won the war. He was an effective commander. Everybody recognizes that, I believe, except a few critics.” PBS’ Gwen Ifill said Bush was “part Tom Cruise, part Ronald Reagan.” On NBC, Brian Williams gushed, “The pictures were beautiful. It was quite something to see the first-ever American president on a — on a carrier landing. This must be very meaningful to the United States military.”

When Bush’s jet landed on an aircraft carrier, American casualties stood at 139 killed and 542 wounded.

The following looks at how one newspaper — it happens to be The New York Times — covered the Bush declaration and its immediate aftermath. One snippet: “The Bush administration is planning to withdraw most United States combat forces from Iraq over the next several months and wants to shrink the American military presence to less than two divisions by the fall, senior allied officials said today.”

This was a more innocent time, of course, when the administration thought it could simply hand the country over to Ahmed Chalabi and move on to Syria.

Say, didn’t we get into this war to find weapons of mass destruction or something?

UPDATE: Here are some more folks that are relaxing and enjoying victory:

Two suicide bombers killed 30 people and wounded 65 others when they detonated explosive vests in a busy market in a town northeast of Baghdad on Thursday, Iraqi police said.

Police said the second bomber struck as crowds rushed to evacuate the wounded from the first attack, a common tactic used by bombers to maximize casualties.

Weren’t we supposed to get mushroom-clouded if we left Saddam in power?

 

Comments: 73

 
 
 

Here I was having a good morning wank over naked Lindsey Lohan pictures with Little Benjy, and you had to go and post a picture of Chimpy W. Codpiece.

I hate you guys. I really, really do.

 
 

Impeach. Indict. Imprison.

 
 

I am reliably informed by various Freepers, trolls, fwd emailers, and a couple of relatives that A) we found Saddam’s WMD stockpiles, possibly in the place with the funny name I can’t remember, from which they were *not* later looted, B) we found a perfume factory where Saddam was putting nerve gas in bottles for retail sale to Macy’s, C) the WMD were smuggled out of the country and are currently in the Syrian desert which is why we can’t find them, and D) THE LIE-BERAL MEDIA ISN’T TELLING YOU WE FOUND SADDAM’S WMD BECAUSE THEY SUFFER FROM BDS!

(Sorry for the caps. Just be glad I can’t reproduce colored font in 72 pt type with blink tags and “OMG” smileys.)

 
 

And they said it wouldn’t last!

5 years
4,000 American dead
upwards of 200,000 Iraqi dead.

No WMD. America deeper in debt than it’s ever been before. And the net global-strategic results are that we have made Iran the most powerful state in the region while nearly crippling our own power and prestige around the world.

Yep–Mission Accomplished!

 
 

The important thing is, nobody was hurt and we all learned a valuable lesson.” – George Bush – May 1, 2008

 
 

Isn’t it treason to compare past Bush Administration statements with present (or other past) Bush Administraton statements? It makes them look incompetent, delusional and/or dishonest and that makes The People lose their trust in Government.

Anyway, I jeep hearing that Bush didn’t lie. He just didn’t know what he was talking about. And many people find that comforting for some reason.

 
 

RELAX, celebrate victory.

Says it all about Bush America. War war war war, but never demanding sacrifice from its citizens. War is the stuff of the teevee and video games. An intangible thing that shouldn’t interfere whatsoever with our way of life.

Sickening.

 
 

I was just thinking the other day about how the Mission Accomplished show was so easily swallowed by the media that the whitehouse crew decided to follow it up with this piece of theater.

Which, of course, was revealed in due time to be a prop show. It did give him the chance to say

“We did not charge hundreds of miles into the heart of Iraq, pay a bitter cost of casualties, defeat a ruthless dictator and liberate 25 million people only to retreat before a band of thugs and assassins,”

It fills me with sadness and shame.

 
 

“Relax, Celebrate Victory.”

Relax and enjoy it. Isn’t that what some wag once said about inevitable rape?

 
 

Hoosier X said,

May 1, 2008 at 19:03

Isn’t it treason to compare past Bush Administration statements with present (or other past) Bush Administraton statements?

It is treason to remember anything.

Live in the now, d00ds and d00dettes!

 
 

Ripley, is that a joke or fer real?

 
 

Sunday, May 4 is Kent State day, by the way.

Sunday, May 3, 1070
By Sunday, May 3, there were nearly 1,000 National Guardsmen on campus to control the students.

During a press conference, Governor Rhodes called the protesters un-American and referred to the protesters as revolutionaries set on destroying higher education in Ohio. “They’re worse than the brownshirts and the communist element and also the nightriders and the vigilantes,” Rhodes said. “They’re the worst type of people that we harbor in America. I think that we’re up against the strongest, well-trained, militant, revolutionary group that has ever assembled in America.”

Sadly, this kind of asshole is even more prevalent today.

 
 

It’ll Be A Cakewalk.

Iraq Will Finance Its Own Reconstruction.

Mission Accomplished.

We Found The WMD’s.

We’re Winning.

We Got Uday and Qusay.

Al Qaeda No. 3 Eliminated, Take 74.

Iraqis Give Saddam The Purple Finger.

We Got Saddam!!11!1!!1

Saddam Lynched.

Teh Surge Teh Awesome.

100 Years ‘Til Forever.

So many ponies….

….so many ponies.

 
 

D.N. Nation said,

May 1, 2008 at 19:04

RELAX, celebrate victory.

Says it all about Bush America. War war war war, but never demanding sacrifice from its citizens. War is the stuff of the teevee and video games. An intangible thing that shouldn’t interfere whatsoever with our way of life.

Yeah, that’s the thing that gets me about this war… the only thing the Bush Admin asked for people to do is buy more crap. Hell, I think there was more of an effort for food drives, care packages, etc. by Bush Sr. during the first Iraq war.

 
 

So many ponies….

….so many ponies.

Fuckin’ ponies. >:(

 
 

Did I say ponies? I meant pelicans.

 
 

Hmmm. May 4th, 1970.

I would MUCH rather have been at kent state sniffing tear gas and dodging random fire from weekend warriors.

Not that KS massacre wasn’t a tragedy.

Maybe it’s just a proportion thing.

Or just banal selfishness on my part…

mikey

 
 

Thomas Friedman, column, May 4 [10 Friedman Units ago]
President Bush may have declared the war in Iraq effectively over. But, judging from my own e-mail box—where conservative readers are bombing me for not applauding enough the liberation of Iraq, and liberals for selling out to George Bush—the war over the war still burns on here.

Conservatives now want to use the victory in Iraq to defeat all liberal ideas at home, and to make this war a model for America’s relations with the world, while liberals—fearing all that—are still quietly rooting for Mr. Bush to fail.

Suck. On. It.

 
 

It’s a sad joke, g. Though I imagine it will probably be the theme of Bush’s 1/20/09 outgoing speech, as well: “Don’t blame me! Mistakes were made. Death was brought. No one could have anticipated, oh gee! I should get going… early meeting and mumble mumble… I’ll call you.”

 
 

Ripley, I second g’s question. Do you have a link to that Bush quote?

If he really said that then there should not be a pitchfork or torch left unsold in any store nationwide.

 
 

Geroge Bush’s end–of-term checklst:

1. Oil prices rocketing skyward, oil industry cronies making record profits.
Check.
2. Environment trashed. Government regulation effectively nullified. Industries in control.
Check.
3. Economy destroyed. No chance for anyone but the richest (I call you my base) to improve their situation.
Check.
4. Constitution made irrelevant. America now effectively a police state.
Check.
5. Justice Dep’t. transformed into political arm of GOP.
Check.
6. Military broken, now outsourced to mercenaries. Military Contractors have free reign, budgetary control of nation.
Check.

“Ah yes”, thinks George, “my work is done.”

 
 

The fact is, the mission has been accomplished, everything is going fine, and Brad should shut up.

Heartland.

 
 

I like this picture MUCH better:

Mission Accomplished!

 
 

Of course, today, the Chimperor has also declared Law Day, where we celebrate the rule of law and all that it means.

What. Stop laughing. Seriously.

In other news, the damned pelicans are everywhere.

 
 

The day when every Passaic Sal angrily shut off their TV exclaiming “That stuffed pants bullshit didn’t work for me at Discotown back in the 70s!”

What a proud, proud moment for the media that day.

 
 

Well, Mr. President, I would dearly love to “go shopping more,” seeing as how my feet have finally worn through the last two millimeters of sole left on one of my three remaining pairs of shoes, but I don’t think most major retailers accept pocket lint as payment.

 
 

In other news, the damned pelicans are everywhere

[runs into glass door. staggers, backs up, tries again]

 
 

I would MUCH rather have been at kent state sniffing tear gas and dodging random fire from weekend warriors.

Not that KS massacre wasn’t a tragedy.

Maybe it’s just a proportion thing.

Or just banal selfishness on my part…

Maybe you’re just a ‘damn the torpedoes bullets’ kind of guy, at heart?

 
 

It would be nice if Americans actually cared.

 
 

History is the ants, Bush is the picnic.
Wonder if his neck is insured against sudden Woven-Hemp Product Attacks.
Looking forward to hearing what sort of highly amusing marginalia gets left in his Memorial Library – think livestock by-products, glistening brown ripe ones.

The mission isn’t accomplished – because you just didn’t shop ENOUGH yet! Go on, torch those Platinum Cards, consumers – show bin Laden who’s boss of this planet! But the mission WILL be accomplished – just as soon as that $500 million Amusement Park opens in Baghdad! America has it’s priorities straight when it comes to bread & circuses after all – Monsanto will soon be announcing a biotech solution that allows lucky Yanks to SECRETE their own bread, freeing up more funding for the increased dominance of the Entertainment Complex. Hallelujah!

 
 

eruvande: seeing as how my feet have finally worn through the last two millimeters of sole left on one of my three remaining pairs of shoe

That’s sad but look on the bright side – you can still get at least one or two meals out of them and they cook up much quicker when they’re that thin.

 
 

The DC Madam just happens to die.. wonder if she had dirt on Obama.

 
White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism
 

New banner slogan: “Making the shit pie higher!”

 
Comment section at Feministe/Feministing/etc.
 

The fact is, Hillary was right about the Iraq War because of, um, the patriarchy or something, and so it’s good she went on Bill O’Reilly because, um, this guy looked at me at the gym or, um, patriarchy thingy. So a vote against Barack Hussein Obama is a blow to misogyny worldwide!!!

 
 

The DC Madam just happens to die.. wonder if she had dirt on Obama.

OMG it’s the Real Ruppert! We’ve missed u, Gar Bear!

 
 

Oh, come on, Gary, everybody has dirt on Obama. Where have you been? It’s just that the Evil Left Wing Media won’t report it. Hell, you ought to see my file. I sent some juicy stuff off to CBS, pictures and all, and do they run with it? NoooOOOOoooo. All the stinkin’ media outlets just glaze right over anything he’s ever said or done, not like the way they go after McCain, unfairly and all.

<Hnnnnkhhhkhhh>

 
 

Words fail at a time like this.

 
 

That’s the real Ruppert, all right.

 
 

Teh Real Gary?! Gary, am I still your “naive flower child”?

You wouldn’t believe the things that have been said in your name while you were away. Even you wouldn’t . . . um . . .

nevermind

I wish I could believe that Bush would be punished for the horror he’s wrought in the world, but I’ll bet the rest of my pathetic lifetime earning potential and all my student debt that he’ll never see the inside of a courtroom, let alone a jail cell. He’ll never even be spat upon, at least not in this country. No pie will wing its way into his smug mug. There is no justice when you’re a rich, white dumbfuck from an Amurkan dynasty.

 
 

Dirt on Obama?

Surely you must be joshing.

Obama is SO elitest, so Harvard, so out-of-touch-in-a-gated-community-effete-nancy-boy-black-muslim he would NEVER get dirt on himself.

Hell, he never even needs to bathe. He has servants to wash him down every couple of hours with the richest, softest cloths while he contemplates new ways to bring down america, his hated enemy…

mikey

 
 

I hunger!

 
 

OMG it’s the Real Ruppert! We’ve missed u, Gar Bear!

I demand that you retract your greeting of Ruppert as ‘Gar Bear’. This is an insult and offence to all of the other ‘bear’s on this site (not to mention all of the ‘g’s). I am deeply hurt, and nothing less than a total denunciation will suffice. Gary Ruppert is a putz, and I shall not have my name associated with putzs.

 
 

The fact is, that isn’t the real Ruppert! I am!

 
 

No, I am!

 
Jasom Ambrose
 

You two aren’t! I am!

 
 

I mean…I am!

 
 

PBS’ Gwen Ifill said Bush was “part Tom Cruise, part Ronald Reagan.” Wow, Gwen really knows how to hurt a guy…short, gay and senile!

 
Gary Marvolo Ruppert
 

The fact is, you Muggles and Mudbloods will pay.

 
 

Feeeeeed me.

I want some chow!

 
 

I am reliably informed by various Freepers, trolls, fwd emailers, and a couple of relatives that A) we found Saddam’s WMD stockpiles, possibly in the place with the funny name I can’t remember, from which they were *not* later looted, B) we found a perfume factory where Saddam was putting nerve gas in bottles for retail sale to Macy’s, C) the WMD were smuggled out of the country and are currently in the Syrian desert which is why we can’t find them, and D) THE LIE-BERAL MEDIA ISN’T TELLING YOU WE FOUND SADDAM’S WMD BECAUSE THEY SUFFER FROM BDS!

My Grandma used to send me crap like that. I love her, but was happy when she stopped emailing me.

 
MileHi Hawkeye
 

Were is my Mission Accomplished Day basket filled with flowers and candy and ponies?!?

It better be waiting for me at home or there will be hell to pay…

 
 

The Bush administration has actually asked the public to do a hell of a lot for this war effort: go into backbreaking debt, resulting in stagflation, in order to finance sweet deals for Bush cronies. We are all paying this price in some manner or other. Of course, being the most regressive sort of price imaginable, debt and stagflation don’t actually burden the *right* people.

 
"Oh Stewardess, I Speak 'Nut"
 

This thread goes to Comsympinko (“So many ponies, so many ponies”) and Ripley (“The important thing is we all learned a valuable lesson and no one got hurt.”).

In Memory of Deborah Jean Palfrey, gone from a world where war is a pleasure and sex is a crime

 
 

That this fuckhole is still leader of the free world today, despite there having been A FUCKING ELECTION BETWEEN THEN AND NOW, proves that we live in an insane twirling ball of sickening despair and nonchalant brutality, where reason is strictly limited to those without the power to use it for anything more constructive than screaming into the laughing face of the abyss.

 
NobodySpecial
 

PBS’ Gwen Ifill said Bush was “part Tom Cruise, part Ronald Reagan.” Wow, Gwen really knows how to hurt a guy…short, gay and senile!

Tom Cruise is not gay. In fact, the classic definition is that he’s promosexual.

 
 

B) we found a perfume factory where Saddam was putting nerve gas in bottles for retail sale to Macy’s,

OMG, Saddam was the Joker?

 
Smiling Mortician
 

My Grandma used to send me crap like that. I love her, but was happy when she stopped emailing me.

I’m actually kind of happy that I’m too old ever to deal with “grandma” and “email” in the same thought.

 
 

Happy M.A.D. ?

Really?

 
Shell Goddamnit
 

“Fuckin’ ponies. >:(

I am likin this tagline a lot.

Pelicans?!

 
 

May Day is now Mission Accomplished Day?

It’s also Loyalty Day!

“Members of the Veterans of Foreign Wars thought that a challenge must be given to what they considered as the ‘disruptive forces of the communism’. And they wanted that the loyalty of Americans to the American ideals must be asserted to prevent the growth of communism in America….”

 
 

May Day!

I’m wearin’ my Che T-shirt, got my Little Red Book right here and I’m just leaving for the town square (OK, the Walmart parking lot) where I’ll be joining my neighbors in a rousing chorus of “The Internationale”.

What about the rest of you liberal pinkos?

 
White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism
 

Celebrate National Copiece Day by reading this and weeping, Gary.

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/05/01/poll-bush-most-unpopular-in-modern-history/

 
 

I’m drinkin scotch.

Naked.

I’ve had a good week at work. Defeating the oppressors AND getting the orders.

I’m stomping around with the stereo turned WAY up, with my scotch in my hand and my junk out.

Workers. Yay!!

mikey

 
 

Since 2006 I celebrate May Day by protesting for open borders and amnesty, practicing my Spanish, and eating gorditas and tamales at Tacos Lupita in Porter Square.
After that I don’t really do anything unpatriotic until July 4th, when I have my annual Tory Party.

 
 

I’m wearin’ my Che T-shirt, got my Little Red Book right here and I’m just leaving for the town square (OK, the Walmart parking lot) where I’ll be joining my neighbors in a rousing chorus of “The Internationale”.

What about the rest of you liberal pinkos?

Pretty close to that, actually. When I was working I used to use May Day and Labor Day to teach my fellow chambermaids the words to The Internationale. No Che shirt, though. Also, I’m pagan, so lilac flowers come into it somewhere, but whatever.

 
 

About time. The ILWU strike might signal the rebirth of the labor movement: Organization that actually works.

There were 2 million workers on strike in the US in 1943–fuck you, Uncle Sam. I’m getting mine before you get yours.

This is why the ploutocrat class hates unions so much and have done so much to causally affect the sorry state of the domestic economy.

A union can shut down business for any reason at any time and there’s not a damn thing management can do about it.

Unless they’re willing to go Ludlow on the picket line.

Unfortunately, after the recent public safety disasters ranging from poisoned pet food to toxic children’s toys to FUCKING IGNORING NECESSARY AIRCRAFT MAINTENANCE, I’m not so sure they wouldn’t.

 
EnfantTerrible
 

You know, I used to enjoy “Mission Accomplished Day” a lot more before it became so commercial.

 
 

PBS’ Gwen Ifill said Bush was “part Tom Cruise, part Ronald Reagan.”

That’s not necessarily untrue, but it’s definitely not a compliment, whatever Ifill may have intended. Reagan was Reagan, and Tom Cruise has gone very visibly off the deep end recently… or more accurately, he popped his head up and said “hi, here I am at the deep end blub blub.”

 
"Oh Stewardess, I Speak 'Nut"
 

In Memory of Deborah Jeane Palfrey, gone from a world where war is a business and sex is a crime

Fixed

 
Jay Severin Has A Small Pen1s
 

He was a great commander? Blowing the shit out of a country that had little to defend itself with. How many planes shot down? 0 How many Navy ships sank? 0. Kinda hard to loose that one. Now he, and every American, lay in fear at what unconventional attack awaits us. Bush is so worried that Iran will get a nuke…and use it…because then we can’t just shoot the sticks out of their hands with tomahawk missiles fired from boats named after past heros. WW2 was fought on equal terms. Fighting Iraq after ten years of neutering is like Roger Clemens throwing inside on a little leaguer…and then schelping his mom.

 
 

[…] Here I was having a good morning wank over naked Lindsey Lohan pictures with Little Benjy, and you had to go and post a picture of Chimpy W. Codpiece. I hate you guys. I really, really do. Source: Comment on Happy Mission Accomplished Day by Joe Max […]

 
 

[…] Here’sa quick excerptHere I was having a good morning wank over naked Lindsey Lohan pictures with Little Benjy, and you had to go and post a picture of Chimpy W. Codpiece. I hate you guys. I really, really do. Source: Comment on Happy … Source: Comment on Happy Mission Accomplished Day by Lindsay Lohan … […]

 
 

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