This guy is almost as smart and insightful as Ben Stein.

And just why is this sad bozo “a regular guest on dozens of radio shows around the United States and Canada” again? Are there not 350 million other folks we’d rather hear from first?

I’d say at least 2 Billion.

Disney is shocked and disappointed with this naked exploitation of Murka’s youts.

(Saw that link on H8-Treos.)

Ben looks to be of military age. How come he isn’t in Iraq fighting the islamofascistbadguys?

He seems to be shocked, shocked I tell ya, that girls grow up and mature. It would seem that the right want all their girls and women to remain perpetually six years old.

That does it.

I hereby declare all out war on WingNut Eyebrows. Who will take up razors and tweezers and burning hot tubs of wax and join me?

Perhaps the heavy weight on their foreheads causes wingnutitude and the magnitude of the nutitude only increases as the forehead fur thickens and sends longer and stronger strangling roots down into the WingNutBrain.

Maybe it’s all hair in there. Yuch.

A couple years ago, I tried making a spreadsheet of Media-Manufactured Controversies designed to distract people from actual issues, but apparently Excel 2000 only supports 64k rows so I had to quit.

As to Ms. Cyrus, the dresses she wears on the red carpet at awards shows expose more flesh and make her seem sluttier than the Vanity Fair photos.

I don’t think eyebrows have any connection with wingnuttitude. Speaking as a Bevanite socialist with a gigantic fluffy black stripe balanced on his forehead.

I used to think that Janet Jackson’s nipple obliterated the fragile creature that is America. Now I know that Miley Cirus’ back is the Destroyer of Worlds.

Trust me, even though you can’t see the crusty sock and half-empty bottle of hand lotion, I’ve totally spent myself writing this column which condemns a bunch of former Disney child stars who’ve turned into slutty teenage slutty-sluts.

Pass the brain bleach, please.

The Virgin Ben is right. I, for one, think that these young women would be treated with more respect (and men’s sordid passions would be less stoked) if they were more modest in their dress and decorum, like the young ladies in the Fundamentalist LDS Church. the ones who wear good old fashioned pioneer garb and who have been in the news lately.

Poor Ben. Everybody turned him down for prom again this year. Also, I predict his next column will be a stirring defense of religious freedom for the FLDS church in TX and their right to enslave marry teenager girls.

I haven’t been paying attention to this “controversy”, as I have far more important things to worry about (y’know, such as the flailing economy, war in Iraq, crumbling infrastructure, the weeds in my backyard, clipping my toenails, etc., etc.). I really don’t get the big deal with this “naked back shot” thing. I mean, didn’t Brooke Shields do the same when she was Cyrus’s age? Hell, the lead singer of Bow Wow Wow posed topless on their frikkin’ album covers when she was 14.

I get the impression that, if Ben had his way, he would have all of us arrested for being naked under our clothes.

I wonder what happened to him to make him so twisted and anti-sexual?

Maybe it’s all hair in there.

AAIIIEEEEEEE!

They’re not eyebrows — they’re windows into the interior.

Derelict said,

May 1, 2008 at 14:17

I get the impression that, if Ben had his way, he would have all of us arrested for being naked under our clothes.

I wonder what happened to him to make him so twisted and anti-sexual?

My guess: he’s miffed that he didn’t get to bang the prom/homecomming queen when he was in high school.

Where’s a burkah when you really need one?

Oh, for fuck’s sake. Sweet Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ on a crutch. Of course the poor girl’s a whore, she’s been groomed as one and sold to Disney at a tender age by her father, a CW one hit wonder. BTW, re: Disney,

In both cinema and television, Disney established himself as an American icon, and the merged corporation he left behind after his death is one of the giants of the media world. The reality behind Disney’s civic and political life is very different from the benevolent illusions projected onto big and small screens around the world.

In fact, Disney was one of the primary figures in the Hollywood blacklisting era and had a long professional association with fascist, anti-Semitic and organized crime elements.

Disney was not a liberal, Ben, you stupid fucking douche. Disney was very very far right, and just like those FLDS guys, his company treats women as either mothers or whores, or maybe both.

Yes, I’m sure that wingnuts hate the attention this Hannah Montana story is getting. Hate hate hate it.

The photos include a shot of Cyrus, barebacked, clutching a sheet to her bosom — a shot no less pedophilic than the infamous Brooke Shields jeans ads of 1980.

Um, that’s not what pedophilia means. The girl is 15 and they paint her up to look about 20. Our society may have decided to pretend that puberty doesn’t happen until the age of 18 and I’m not going to be organizing any protests over it, but biology sez she’s a woman.

Now, expecting women to shave ALL of their body hair is a little pedophilic…

The fact is, liberals, you fail it. This is more proof of liberal faggotry and terrorism.

Shalom, Gary.

This is partly my fault. When I was defining the limits of art the other day, I totally forgot about photography. I will be faxing some guidelines to Annie Leibovitz later today , so that should put the whole thing to bed.

Now, expecting women to shave ALL of their body hair is a little pedophilic…

Not to pick on a favorite commenter or try to start a gigantic flamewar, but this is one of my petpeeves. No, it’s not a little pedophilic; it’s a lot aesthetic and a lot ultilitarian. I know a lot of pomo/gender theorists try to explain certain aesthetic and cultural phenomenon as being *always* the subconscious expression of some horrible psychosexual sickness and/or bigotry, but that doesn’t mean they’re right. There are a lot of cultures in history that have practiced depilation as a custom just as enthusiastically as ours if not more so; were they all culturally sublimating a profound desire to fuck babies, too, or were they simply doing something they thought looked cool and worked well?

Virgin Ben should have seen this coming.

Donald Duck’s been running around with no pants on for almost 75 years.

Is this the only photo extant of the VB? Hasn’t he been using this one for years now? Are those baby teeth in his non-muff-eating toddler grin?

One day some myopic nafka he meets at an all-you-can-eat-egg-salad mixer will deflower our delicate Ben and turn him into a real manimal.

Nah.

HTML Mencken said,

May 1, 2008 at 15:12

There are a lot of cultures in history that have practiced depilation as a custom just as enthusiastically as ours if not more so; were they all culturally sublimating a profound desire to fuck babies, too, or were they simply doing something they thought looked cool and worked well?

There are quite a few ethnic groups in Africa, where *everyone* shaves all parts of their body except head. Their reasoning is that it distinguishes them as being humans.

Now, they’re being taught by a teen superstar, her father, and a willing media, that inappropriate behavior is no barrier to happiness or satisfaction.

I’ve always thought that a little “inappropriate behavior” was a prerequisite to happiness and satisfaction. But maybe that’s just me.

non-muff-eating toddler

Ew.

Also: people who use “inappropriate” as if it were a universal moral judgment should be stomped to death by elves.

HTML, you had me at “a favorite commenter”

I was joking, mostly. Sexual perversion is stigmatized deviation from the cultural norm, so it is pretty hard for an entire society to be perverted. I do think that shaving is an expression of our idealization of youth, but so what? We idealize youth. We want to be told that we can’t see Miley Cyrus naked so that we can almost-sorta-kinda see her a little bit naked. Like you said, it doesn’t automatically mean that we want to fuck babies. Cream pie vs. waterboarding.

I suppose that if we went the other way and idealized hirsute women, you could tie it in to bestiality. I like my coffee like I like my women…

HTML,

Why do you think that making adult women look like pre-pubescents looks ‘cool’? (Yes, I know that men are removing their chest and back hair, but they aren’t commonly removing their pubic hair. That painful and/or expensive process is reserved for women).

And how does it ‘work well’ in sex to reduce pleasurable friction and increase irritation? Because, you know, that’s what depilitation does.

Finally, other cultures in history have also practiced female foot binding, neck stretching and corsetting – among other painful and/or expensive practices. Do you think that is right?

Who will take up razors and tweezers and burning hot tubs of wax and join me?

I will! I will!

Not that I think that would really get rid of the nutty. Since eyebrow waxing doesn’t cause organ failure, should be okay by their standards, right?

Yes, I know that men are removing their chest and back hair, but they aren’t commonly removing their pubic hair. That painful and/or expensive process is reserved for women

We can deal with the hot wax. We can handle the root-ripping. All we ask for is a little recognition. Is that too much?

OT, but did anyone catch this tripe?

Shorter Arthur Herman: The surge in Iraq is working, and proves that the Khmer Rouge was entirely the fault of the Democrats.

HTML:

No, it’s not a little pedophilic; it’s a lot aesthetic and a lot ultilitarian.

Then I hope you’re next in line at the salon. There are lots of women out there that would prefer it if men would get rid of some of that grody underarm hair (for starters!).

We can deal with the hot wax. We can handle the root-ripping. All we ask for is a little recognition. Is that too much?

I can understand if you do that. Honestly though, most men don’t. At least not yet.

Try threading instead of wax and tweezers. Much less painful.

Doodle Bean said:

And how does it ‘work well’ in sex to reduce pleasurable friction and increase irritation? Because, you know, that’s what depilitation does.

Ummmm, I really don’t want to engage in a detailed explanation of the advantages of less pubic hair, but they are pretty obvious to anyone who engages in actual foreplay on even a semi-regular basis. Also, if you really think that men don’t “commonly remove their pubic hair,” you really need to get out more, or at least watch a few videos that were made in the last 10-15 years.

And if the side effects that you are experience from hair removal in the nether regions are “decrease in friction” and “increase in irritation,” you are probably doing it wrong (both the hair removal and the sex).

Sorry to be a little more caustic than usual, but I think it is beyond stupid to equate grooming with pedophilia. I just can’t fathom how the only differences in sexual characteristics that someone can discern between adults and children is the presence of pubic hair.

Also, if you really think that men don’t “commonly remove their pubic hair,” you really need to get out more

Maybe I just hang out with unhip males or something.

Sorry to be a little more caustic than usual, but I think it is beyond stupid to equate grooming with pedophilia.

I don’t think its pedophillic… I just think, to each their own.

Just to throw something tangential into the mix, Miley Cyrus is 15. She’s (probably) reached sexual maturity – she can conceive and bear children. For most of human history, she’s in the prime breeding time of her life. (says wikipedia). Hell, before the last 200 years or so, she’s probably middle aged. Our species is meant to breed early (with respect to our current lifespans).

Her acting sexy and people responding to it is a natural human behavior. Seeing it as some kind of pedophilia is a wholly social construct that has nothing to do with our nature.

Also, I get the feeling Ben would probably be happier if he did some kind of gender nullification on himself. Somewhere along the line, someone did a such number on him that he’s filled with self-loathing whenever his penis gives him impure thoughts.

Gosh, I don’t even really know who Mylie Cyrus is, and haven’t bothered to look for the photo that seems to be pre-empting the iraq war.

What the fuck is wrong with this country, anyway?

I do think that it’s pretty obvious that the imbalance between what women are expected to do, grooming-wise, and what men are expected to do is a reflection of the power imbalance between genders. Maybe if we keep working for more equality, women won’t have to deal with that shit anymore, but I think you will see men wearing makeup and heels before you see women stop wearing bras.

Gosh, I don’t even really know who Mylie Cyrus is, and haven’t bothered to look for the photo that seems to be pre-empting the iraq war.

The pettiness of some people is truly wondrous to behold.

The fact is, I’m staring at the rest of my life in these United States and finding it all wanting, from whatever horizon I happen to spin and spin and yeah I’ll spin big bucks big bucks big bucks to the inevitable whammies of existence. I’m tired, we’re tired, we’re tired of seeing backs for brains, trading bowling for bowled over and up and died soldiers, tried and true and expected and nearly damn desired by the likes of us, playing out our XBoxification as if it were the only thing keeping our hearts pump pump pumping. Hugh Hewitt had it right, if only through the Hugh Hewitt in my brain who up and admitted his failings and flailings one day and shut everything down, staring with me across the horizon into the great big pile of peak oil nothingness, singing ballads to the big nothing, then when the music stops, looking down at our shoes and understanding just how long we’ve to go before self-immolation but also holding in hand just how little we can do otherwise.

Why do you think that making adult women look like pre-pubescents looks ‘cool’

I don’t think it makes them look pre-pubescent. I think it makes them look like women who shave. Just because a hypothetical someone somewhere immediately makes the association because it pleases them doesn’t mean the association is automatic and universal. But thanks for presuming to tell me what I see and feel instead of allowing me to actually, you know, have the freedom to have aesthetic sexual preferences. My experience and my preferences are mine; and the sexual certainty brigade’s narratives are completely irrelevant to them.

And how does it ‘work well’ in sex to reduce pleasurable friction and increase irritation? Because, you know, that’s what depilitation does.

No, it doesn’t. Also: two words: oral sex.

Finally, other cultures in history have also practiced female foot binding, neck stretching and corsetting – among other painful and/or expensive practices. Do you think that is right?

Fallacy alert. Your point is irrelevant to mine, which is: a)stop pretending that the only drives to sexual-aesthetic preference are nefarious when not outright bigoted. Sometimes they *may* originate as such, but it doesn’t mean they always are, or continue to be. Lemme ask you this: does the Hebrew-Jewish tradition of circumcision mean that Jews *must* be misandrists? A person ignorant of the long tradition of male chauvinism in Judaism, but thoroughly applying your rules would say, “certainly.” Which would be, well, stupid.

But we can go at this all day. How’s this: homosexual men are only attracted to other men *because they are really sexually sublimating their hatred of women*! Silly huh? Especially when said with conviction. And the fact that some gay men (just like some heterosexual men) *are* misogynists doesn’t make the statement any less awful and dishonest and bullying.

I suppose that if we went the other way and idealized hirsute women, you could tie it in to bestiality.

Someone would, someone would. And simply saying so and exploring the possibilities in theory is fine. The problem is when someone says that the attraction to hirsute women is *inevitably* a subconscious desire to fuck an animal of a different species. Then people who happen to like hirsute women aesthetically (or “just because”) would be forever smeared as grossly perverted wackos, moral degenerates who just *won’t be normal* — you know, like gay people were in this culture until very recently.

Gary, I’m going to tell you right now, because I wish someone had told me:
you make a really shitty beatnik. Also, it’s over.

But thanks for presuming to tell me what I see and feel instead of allowing me to actually, you know, have the freedom to have aesthetic sexual preferences. My experience and my preferences are mine; and the sexual certainty brigade’s narratives are completely irrelevant to them.

But I didn’t. I was just asking questions.

Hit a nerve, I guess.

Doodle Bean —

Yeah; I said it was a petpeeve. ‘s okay, though.

I tried moving Virgin Ben’s eyebrows where they might do him some good – ladies-wise.

I like my coffee like I like my women…

One time I actually had some degree of success with this line. 😉

*

Come-on folks … a thread about young people’s sexual attractiveness and no mention of the Derb? Y’all are slipping!

Gentle Ben is just peeved that Annie Leibovitz didn’t recreate her famous John & Yoko photo with a naked Ben next to Miley.

Damn, it’s too early in the morning to make myself vomit.

Gary, I’m going to tell you right now, because I wish someone had told me: you make a really shitty beatnik. Also, it’s over.

The fact is, ahh that, the all worth living up to, the becoming and transforming and losing myself in losing myself, for sake of ignoring the bitter snap of sitting in my own little corner bar and dancing with the well-worn beer ads and crummy bathroom, for sake of ignoring the cold mirror of talking to anyone next to me and letting the words float and fall a few feet from my person. That’s the fact is of the matter, realizing how little me and how great expectations they, no matter this that and the other I can dig for in my pockets I’m gonna flail and fall short of the whatever of all. So yes, the fact is, I make a shitty beatnik, sure, true, so I find some comfort among the miniscule everything of self that at least I make something at all.

Ummmm, I really don’t want to engage in a detailed explanation of the advantages of less pubic hair, but they are pretty obvious to anyone who engages in actual foreplay on even a semi-regular basis

Ummmm, as someone who engages in foreplay on an even semi-regular basis, I don’t see any advantages. Maybe if you have braces…

Also, if you really think that men don’t “commonly remove their pubic hair,” you really need to get out more…

I agree I need to get out more (and I’m working on that), but I still doubt I’ll find many heterosexual men with hairless pubes! Are we talking about two different communities, hetero and homo, by any chance?

…or at least watch a few videos that were made in the last 10-15 years.

LOLZ if you think pr0n videos – gay or straight – reflect reality!

And if the side effects that you are experience from hair removal in the nether regions are “decrease in friction” and “increase in irritation,” you are probably doing it wrong (both the hair removal and the sex).

Have you tried tweezing, shaving, threading or waxing your pubic hair? Or using chemical depilatories which give you allergic dermatitis? And gone through the itchy and irritating growing-back-in phase? And, for women, no pubic hair does commonly mean less pleasurable friction. Again, we may be talking about two different communities and thus two different groups of experience.

…I think it is beyond stupid to equate grooming with pedophilia. I just can’t fathom how the only differences in sexual characteristics that someone can discern between adults and children is the presence of pubic hair.

I’ll grant you the breast implants difference!

[hugz Doodle Bean]

A person ignorant of the long tradition of male chauvinism in Judaism, but thoroughly applying your rules would say, “certainly.” Which would be, well, stupid.

What rules am I applying? Again, I’m just asking questions.

The Virgin Ben is right. I, for one, think that these young women would be treated with more respect (and men’s sordid passions would be less stoked) if they were more modest in their dress and decorum, like the young ladies in the Fundamentalist LDS Church. the ones who wear good old fashioned pioneer garb and who have been in the news lately.

You mean those girls who got knocked up by the church elders at thirteen? That’ll work.

TBogg is on this story today too, and I will not forgive him for embedding the song ‘Tracy’s Mom’ in my head this morning. I cannot get rid of it.

No, it doesn’t.

Yes, it does.

http://www.benjaminshapiro.com/bio.html

This is the best page on the Internets. Especially for the two Ben pics.

henry lewis said,

May 1, 2008 at 16:43

I tried moving Virgin Ben’s eyebrows where they might do him some good – ladies-wise.

The sad thing is, his eyebrows in the original pic look like they were photoshopped.

But we can go at this all day. How’s this: homosexual men are only attracted to other men *because they are really sexually sublimating their hatred of women*! Silly huh?

Yes. Very silly. But that statement has nothing to do with my questions.

And the fact that some gay men (just like some heterosexual men) *are* misogynists doesn’t make the statement any less awful and dishonest and bullying.

I agree. You should stop being awful and dishonest and bullying (since the statement is yours)!

Gotta pity the girl for having Billy Ray for a dad – yipes, check out his “music” sometime if you’re into sonically-induced PTSD: think country-rock meets The Mothers Of Invention, via a junkie 18 hours after going cold turkey. Someone told him he could be a rock-star — now THAT’s obscene!

Mylie is the next big over-hyped poptart, as evidenced by her sudden covergirl status on all those magazines mysteriously still being bought by bored teens & soccer moms – so to prove his Cool Hepcat cred, smiling-boy just HAS to get his 2 cents in: “I really AM relevant – see, I know who Hannah Montana is, plus I spent HOURS being deeply offended by the Playboy pictorial she just did – sure hope the next issue doesn’t offend my tender sensibilities like THIS one did” … um, this too is a kind of blatant whoring, you know.

Getting an attorney to put a juridical fig-leaf on your torture policy is “inappropriate” – if such mild euphemisms are your cup of tea – whereas being a cute nubile & showing some skin is just easy money. How many lives has Mylie destroyed?

Just to throw something tangential into the mix, Miley Cyrus is 15. She’s (probably) reached sexual maturity

Huh. Did Derbyshire weigh in on this, by any chance?

Actually, she’s a little long-in-the-tooth.

[hugz Doodle Bean]

I’d rather that you answer my questions and provide a nice intellectual debate… well, and refrain for using the word ‘stupid’ anywhere!

Actually, she’s a little long-in-the-tooth.

Nothing sadder than a chick who’s past her prime. I like ’em when they’re young enough to beat up with my awesome kung fu skills.

What rules am I applying?

The rules (originally applied by people who completely misappropriated Foucault’s theories) that undergird the whole argument I’m disagreeing with: that sexual tastes and related bodily modifications/stylings aren’t about anything but power. That every sexual preference that people mistakenly think is “organic” is actually resultant of — and therefore dependent upon — nasty socio-cultural structures and are therefore a moral or immoral “choice” once one becomes “enlightened”. That considering the previous rules listed, then then only moral “choice” for a “responsible” sexual agent is to free his or herself from the wicked preferences the rotten society/culture inculcated in them, and do exactly as the rule-makers say.

Even Shorter Virgin Ben: I came!

Well, I was just trying to say no hard feelings.

Also, if I’d known you were a female when I wrote it I would have written something less invasive; I’m sorry about that.

HTML,

I’ll ask again. What rules am I applying in asking questions about your declarations? Not rules applied ‘by people’. Not rules which exist in your pet peeves, but rules which I am applying.

And maybe I really should just declare that I think you are using a straw man argument to avoid answering my questions. I mean, if the answer is just that you don’t like getting pubic hair in your teeth and so want everybody to depilitate just in case you end up having sex with them, that might be enough… well, and answering ‘no’ to my ‘other cultures’ comment!

I understand I’ve touched a nerve — or thirty thousand — so maybe I’m asking for distance which you don’t have.

If so, how ’bout them Celtics/Sox/White House Press Corps/friggin’ unions/gas prices?

Also, if I’d known you were a female when I wrote it I would have written something less invasive; I’m sorry about that.

What was ‘invasive’? And why would you treat me any differently than if I was a man arguing with you?

Do you think you’ve hurt my feelings or something? If so, please rest assured that I like nothing more than a good argument.

I do think that it’s pretty obvious that the imbalance between what women are expected to do, grooming-wise, and what men are expected to do is a reflection of the power imbalance between genders. Maybe if we keep working for more equality, women won’t have to deal with that shit anymore, but I think you will see men wearing makeup and heels before you see women stop wearing bras.

Couldn’t agree more!

MajorKong said,
May 1, 2008 at 13:28

Ben looks to be of military age. How come he isn’t in Iraq fighting the islamofascistbadguys?

Special eyebrow deferment.

I mean, seriously — if anything happened to those two black centipedes crawling across his forehead, would you want the U.S. military stuck with the podiatrist bills?

Sorry to monopolize the thread, but I’ve gotta go get me some dental surgery. Just didn’t want you all to think I chickened out or something after beating picking on justbrent and HTML!

Speaking of dentistry, anyone hear from Gavin?

Leaving aside the whole pubes/no pubes argument, does Ben’s overuse of ‘poptart’ bother anyone else?

Now, expecting women to shave ALL of their body hair is a little pedophilic…

Bald chicks are hot. I would totally do Sinead O’Connor.

DB, it’s your declaration, not HTMLs.

Why do you think that making adult women look like pre-pubescents looks ‘cool’

That’s a declarative statement contained within a question. To wit, “Shaving = making adult women look like pre-pubescents.”

I disagree, and that’s fine, but you are making a declarative value judgement.

I know it’s petty, but every time I see this guys picture I get the impression of a wanna-be bully who the other real bullies picked on. What a sap.

This is more proof of liberal faggotry

I tried planting a liberal faggot tree, but all I ended up with is an unruly bush.

Oh noes…

CNN is reporting that a pelican is stuck in a tree in FL. Everyone panic!!!11elevensandsuch!

Tossing in my two cents after donning my medical hat, I’d say in the teenage to thirty age group I see lots of men and women who shave their pubic areas. Also, piercings and tattooing are starting to lose favor.

I think you will see men wearing makeup and heels before you see women stop wearing bras. Having lived through the sixties, I’d say this is nonsense. Other than “Kiss” and Eddie Izzard, I think braless women are way ahead of men in this comparison.

Some guys do shave everywhere. It’s breathtaking, I assure you.

[Avoiding the topic of what people decide to do with their own pubes and why]

If that photo were an ad for perfume we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Given the fashion industry’s hiring practices the average Amurican probably sees dozens of underaged women dressed provacatively on a regular basis. If said Americun reads fashion magazines the number multiplies by 10 bazillion. People just assume the girl is a woman because she’s dressed like one.

Could it be this photo caused the OUTRAGED masses to realize that when they drool over fashion models they’re drooling over teen aged girls?

Nah, that would require WAY too much introspection.

When exactly did a naked back/shoulder become so very teh naughty?

What is this, the Dark Ages? Does she float as well? Can we burn her?

But that’s what I’m doin, DB:

Preference for shaved genitalia = pedophilia is just an intellectually and morally abominable formulation. It’s not just that I — or anyone else who prefers it shaved — object to being smeared with the charge of pedophilia. It’s that the smear comes from a mentality that not only believes it can know with certainty what makes everyone sexually tick, but that it can prescribe or proscribe from this certainty. And I’d like to think I’d react the same way whether I liked shaved or hirsute women or men or whatever, because what I’m reacting against is about principle.

if the answer is just that you don’t like getting pubic hair in your teeth

Yes, but that’s only the utilitarian part — and just a part of that. The other part is that I like how it looks. I just do. Just like I prefer the color blue over the color yellow; just like I prefer indie rock over country; etc. My preference is aesthetic, and I can explain it in greater detail (I think it’s about less distraction as well as the removal of mystery), but the point is that it’s a matter of taste. Your rules deny the existence of aesthetics in such matters; or, if not that, your rules insist the aesthetic preferences are actually a construct that obscures the true (evil) reason for my preferences (in this case, because I must be a pedophile). And I’m saying “your rules” because your repeated, and apparently stand by, the “you prefer a pre-pubescent look” charge.

and so want everybody to depilitate just in case you end up having sex with them

Absolutely not. I don’t want everybody to do anything. *I’m* the anti-universalist in this argument. I’m just stating what I prefer. I like what I like; others of course will like differently. And while I probably think my justifications for my taste are superior to another’s justifications for their opposite taste, I’m not going to deny their taste respect and legitimacy (even though I might be aesthetically repulsed at their taste — sexuality is emphatic and visceral like that), and I’m certainly not going to say that my tastes are moral and decent but the Other’s are informed by some horrible psychopathology like pedophilia.

TEXAS HAS A WHOREHOUSE IN IT!!!

A lot of guys I know that grew up in the 1950s said they were obsessed with Annette Funicello’s big breasts. She went from here to here. Too bad Ben wasn’t around then, he could have denounced Disney for exploiting her tight sweaters and perky Mickey Mouse hat.

When exactly did a naked back/shoulder become so very teh naughty?

I’m kinda wondering that too. If in fact naked shoulders/backs are teh naughty, then like 60% of the younger generation of girls are constantly teh naughty.

I’m thinking it has more to do with Ben’s twisted prudishness.

Gah, I cringe everytime I hear the local news people talk about the “racy” photos.

Prudishness is only one of many underlying factors, I’m afraid.

Sexual perversion is stigmatized deviation from the cultural norm, so it is pretty hard for an entire society to be perverted.

I’ve been in Japan for the last 3 weeks and I would like to confirm that it is definitely possible.

Doodle Bean said:

Have you tried tweezing, shaving, threading or waxing your pubic hair? Or using chemical depilatories which give you allergic dermatitis? And gone through the itchy and irritating growing-back-in phase? And, for women, no pubic hair does commonly mean less pleasurable friction. Again, we may be talking about two different communities and thus two different groups of experience.

Ummmm, yes, I have because I am an enlightened adult American male under the age of 40. Here’s a tip: If you only do it once in a blue moon, it will be as you describe. If you do it regularly and keep it up, then it usually isn’t that way.

As for pubic hair being some kind of aid to more pleasureable friction, I still don’t see it. Just from a physics standpoint, that doesn’t make any sense to me.

Since you apparently can’t work it out on your own, I’ll be more explicit in my defense of grooming of the nether regions:

(1) All hair tends to fall out. Pubic hair tends to fall out even more than regular hair. During oral sex, hairness ensures that lots of stray hairs end up in the mouth. Doesn’t matter if you have braces or not, its just what happens. Grooming takes care of the problem.

(2) Hair gets in the way of manual stimulation as well. Not only is it a buffer against friction, it makes it hard to see what’s going on.

(3) (This has already been pointed out by others) Unkempt hair is not visual pleasing to many people, regardless of its location on the body. Yeah, I know, pubic hair is “natural.” So is a scraggly beard and three inch fingernails and toenails, but I bet you don’t go for guys who look that way.

Doodle Bean continued:

I’m not equating. I’m asking. And here’s a fathom: heterosexual women are commonly held to a standard of slimness which makes it such that the only difference between them and pre-pubescent girls is the presence of pubic hair… well, and breast implants.

Really? I’ll buy that our society tends to expect some pretty extreme thinness from supermodels, actresses, and other female celebrities (i.e., Paris Hilton, who has no discernible value at all but is still famous as hell), but I think it’s unwarranted to state that all “heterosexual women” are held to that standard. I know lots of single women who aren’t wafer thin but still seem to date quite a bit. And I know lots of women in happy relationships whose male significant others seem satisfied with them not being that thin.

It’s also pretty one-sided to make the argument that we only hold famous women to that standard. I see an awful lot of shirtless men running around on “Lost” every week, and they don’t exactly look like average male specimens.

And if you think that the super thin women on TV and in the movies look like prepubescent girls except for their boobs, you are missing some major attributes like hips, butt, and legs, which, last time I checked, most straight men find attractive.

I just don’t understand your complaint (or question, if you insist on maintaining that ruse). If you don’t want to groom your pubic area and you find a guy who is fine with that (and I know that there are guys who are), then more power to you. But the whole “eeeeew, gross, you don’t like lots of hair, what are you, some kind of pedophile?” position is awfully strange and judgmental.

I do think that it’s pretty obvious that the imbalance between what women are expected to do, grooming-wise, and what men are expected to do is a reflection of the power imbalance between genders. Maybe if we keep working for more equality, women won’t have to deal with that shit anymore, but I think you will see men wearing makeup and heels before you see women stop wearing bras.

Things are changing but it seems to me more along the lines of women expecting men to live up to standards that they feel are placed on them instead of telling men to just fuck off with their expectations. I, uh, have this friend who found out things had changed quite a bit when he reentered the dating world after a 15 year relationship and during his first sexy time experience with his new special friend he was told that she expected him to be as well groomed down below as she was and that it was a matter of basic courtesy.

His extensive research of the online dating marketplace has also taught him that women are increasingly likely to express at least a willingness if not a preference for dating younger guys. He better keep his ass in good shape if he doesn’t want to lose his edge. In fact he’s thinking he better get his ass on his bike at lunchtime (risk of molecular transference be damned). The modern dating world is a little unsettling at times but at least he knows that so many of his competitors for single women must be freaking the fuck out as they cruise dating sites and find that women 10 years younger than them aren’t the only ones rejecting them for being too old. It’s their contemporaries too so expect much gnashing of teeth and howls of frustration from wingnuttia as soon as they come to grips with the cougar menace.

A crusty sock? Wow, HTML, I never thought of that but I’ll give it a whirl!!

You really ARE the jackoff expert!!!11

Hey towel, you didn’t know that? What planet are YOU from?

OT, but pertinent:

I LOVE the fact that pedestrian has inaugurated the use of ‘cream pie vs. waterboarding’ as posting shorthand.

In a just a few more months, the comments here should be nothing more than a totally self-referential shenanigans talking about pie, The Heartland, cream pies, large sammiches and small weaponry…

Yeah, towel, EVERYONE knows Retar…umm, I mean HTML is expert in all things masturbatory!!

Just because he tries to look like Jim Dandy doesn’t mean he gets poontang like Jim Dandy!!!11!!eleventy

I tried moving Virgin Ben’s eyebrows where they might do him some good – ladies-wise.

I think you should animate them and have them bounce up and down, Groucho-style. I mean, in their original position.

Of course the poor girl’s a whore, she’s been groomed as one and sold to Disney at a tender age by her father, a CW one hit wonder. BTW, re: Disney,

Britney Spears was such a pioneer.
Shit, what am I saying?

Strike that. Annette Funicello was such a pioneer.

Well, at least Ben has shown his facility at one handed typing, fucking cowardly moron.

Am I the only one creeped out by some of the poses with daddy?

I don’t even really know who Mylie Cyrus is, and haven’t bothered to look for the photo that seems to be pre-empting the iraq war.

you haven’t missed anything — the snapshot in question is remarkably pedestrian and non-titillating. about the most you could say of the girl is, she’ll be attractive in another decade or so once she gains enough maturity and self-assurance to pull off the pin-up “come hither” look; she doesn’t have it yet.

(pity that, by then, i’ll still be almost old enough to be her father. just another of life’s unfairnesses.)

You have no idea how much pressure I put on myself to get my V-Ben post up last night before you guys jumped on it.

Remember: he was my virgin first.

the snapshot in question is remarkably pedestrian and non-titillating.

HEY!

“…he was my virgin first.”

Well, he’s everybody’s virgin now.

Crusty’s Sock? ewwwwwwwwwwww, cartoon clown fetish!

Am I the only one creeped out by some of the poses with daddy?
Which reminds me of that new commercial, the father singing Paradise by the Dashboard Light to his son; that is even worse than using Fortunate Son as a flag-waving song to sell stuff.

Some folks are born made to wave the flag… something, something… fortunate son!

I don’t see the problem, my friend

I’ve been wondering since I saw that commercial, Monkay–is the Dad actually Meatloaf?

Oh, and McSenile, you’re a III, not a Jr.

Please don’t tell me the son does the girlfriend’s part.

The Clownhall site has an ad with a buxom blonde wearing a t-shirt that says, “Ice cold Conservative.” There’s Ben’s problem, right there.

All of those conservative t-shirt models look like homicidal cokehead porn stars. What is it about seeing bitter loathing in a woman’s eyes that makes wingnuts reach for their wallets?

“What is it about seeing bitter loathing in a woman’s eyes that makes wingnuts reach for their wallets?”

It reminds them of dear old Mom?

They imprinted on that look, definitely. A lot of them probably think a woman’s orgasm sounds like a particularly long yawn, too.

Shaving? Fuck that shit. I’d rather do without.

“Virgin” Ben? I suspect not. I’d be willing to bet that “virgin” Ben has had more dick up his rump than the cutest little blonde boy in Lansing…

Yes, but in conservative thinking, that’s still a virgin. He was just wrestling with his “dark side” like some many other famous Republican heterosexuals.

MileHi Hawkeye said: is the Dad actually Meatloaf?
That would not make it any better . . .

If Nabokov’s writings had been in the public domain in the middle of the last century, Disney movies would have been VERY different.

I think you should animate them and have them bounce up and down, Groucho-style. I mean, in their original position.
It would also be an improvement if they would sporadically wander off and crawl around to the back of his head, as if bored, then turning up again on the other side.

“heterosexual women are commonly held to a standard of slimness which makes it such that the only difference between them and pre-pubescent girls is the presence of pubic hair… well, and breast implants.”

Compare the body mass index of the average model in Marie Claire with the average model in Playboy. I think it is mostly gay men and hetero women perpetuating the making women look like prepubescent boys thing. Draw your own conclusions, but all the straight guys I know are strongly in favor of, you know, woman parts, and a healthy amount of them.

I think it is mostly gay men and hetero women perpetuating the making women look like prepubescent boys thing.

It’s true. Let me see if I can find the relevant portion of the gay agenda… ah, yes.

3:33 p.m. Assume complete control of the U.S., state, and local governments (in addition to other nations’ governments); destroy all healthy Christian marriages; recruit all children grades Kindergarten through 12 into your amoral, filthy lifestyle; secure complete control of the media, starting with sitcoms; molest innocent children; give AIDS to as many people as you can; host a pornographic “art” exhibit at your local art museum; and turn people away from Jesus, causing them to burn forever in Hell.

4:00 p.m. Starve all of the women of the world to death with an impossible standard of beauty, thus wiping out the competition.

4:10 p.m. Time permitting, bring about the general decline of Western Civilization and look like you are having way too much fun doing it.

4:30 p.m. Take a disco-nap to prevent facial wrinkles from the stress of world conquest and being so terribly witty.

6:00 p.m. Open a fabulous new bottle of Malbec.

You forgot women’s shoes. They’ve got to be a plot.

I think you should animate them and have them bounce up and down, Groucho-style. I mean, in their original position.

I know, I know, it looks like an orangutang got a hold of an airbrush. My graphic-nerd skills are woefully short of anything approaching animation, although I can still out-photoshop Michelle Malkin.

Remember I was working under comment thread deadline pressure. Gotta strike while the irony is hot.

Aside on the whole body hair thing– I was under the impression that body hair shaving was often done by sex workers to help keep down incidences of lice (pubic and otherwise).

Leastaways, I’m pretty sure that’s why the orangutan pimps did it.

Blue Buddha said,

“My guess: he’s miffed that he didn’t get to bang the prom/homecomming queen when he was in high school.”

You telling me this joker is out of high school?

Umm.

Is it an awful case of TMI to say I always keep my undercarriage “cleaned up”?

What’s interesting, is I had tremendous fear that in the showers in jail this would be noticed and I’d get, well, who knows, right?

Nobody said boo. Mostly, it’s not cool in jail to say something like, “Say there, I was checking out your junk in the shower and I noticed you shave off all the hair. How do you get your ballsack so neat?”

Otherwise, it’s just cooler, cleaner and more comfortable.

Plus, if you’ve ever got your pubic hair caught in your zipper, you are gonna be on the side of “it’s just gotta go”…

mikey

“These pop tarts would also seem to be without direction, celebrities-too-young overwhelmed by the glamour and fame of stardom.”

Kinda like getting your own column on Clown Hall you’re a too-young virginpundit, overwhelmed by the glamor and fame of stardom high wingnuttery.

Am I the only person who saw That Photo and was reminded of a young Roseanne Barr?

Susan, you’re completely right; Annette Funicello was when the Disney Corporation discovered it could sell a particular style of meat-model, and it’s profited mightly ever since — Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, among others, got started on the Disney Channel. The fact that ‘Hannah Montana’s’ daddy is aggressively pimping his kid in order to extend his own media “career” just makes overt the usual covert stage-parent schtick… and overt is the faux pax all the usual Media Village Idiots are decrying.

I think you will see men wearing makeup and heels before you see women stop wearing bras.

Well, TMI, leaving aside all the Victoria’s Secret crap (hella badly made & therefore uncomfortable), comes a time in almost every woman’s life when she just don’t want to get, how they say, caught in the wringer. Of course guys were wearing makeup & heels many centuries before the modren over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder was invented, but then the Sports Cup is also quite a recent patent.

And, DoodleBean, although I share & probably extend your preferences — I find guys with bald *chests* a turnoff — the very magazine responsible for this Fooferaw du Jour recently ran an article describing the methodology of “back, crack & sack” waxing for men. The live model for such description was… have your emesis basins ready… Christopher Hitchens. Apparently, not for the first time, the bodily practices pr0n performers adapt for utility are being read as “normative” by pr0n consumers…

Some of you obviously haven’t been keeping up with your porn. Almost all the porn dudes shave their pubes now. It’s skin on skin.. lacking the silky ride of pubes coming together.. possibly leading to friction blisters…. I don’t know.. go ask them.

Results 1 – 10 of about 56 for “last turkey” “pubic hair”

the relevant portion of the gay agenda…
Does anyone have a copy of the Manly Heterosexual agenda? I seem to have missed the e-mail.
I have a suspicion that it will involve endless bickering about whether “quorum” is a dirty word, or just a form of alcohol.

Hey, uhhh….
My fiancee likes to be shaved.
And she likes me to do the shaving.
Does that mean I’m a pedo/ephebo-phile in denial, too?
Or that SHE is?!?
No.
No, it does not.
I shave sometimes, too.
So what?
This is stupid.

Where some women go wrong is when they, instead of rebelling against
the unreasonable pressures they face, they insist that men should be subjected to them as well.
It’s an awful way to go about reaching equality.
Like demanding men’s wages should be lower, instead of women getting paid more.

Plus, if you’ve ever got your pubic hair caught in your zipper, you are gonna be on the side of “it’s just gotta go”…

Just like when I caught my dick in the zipper and lopped it off with a pair of pruning shears.

I’ve been wondering since I saw that commercial, Monkay–is the Dad actually Meatloaf?

Yes.

“pruning shears”

Djur, you owe me a keyboard.

Just like when I caught my dick in the zipper and lopped it off with a pair of pruning shears.

I’ll bet that itches like hell when it grows back in.

Bald chicks are hot. I would totally do Sinead O’Connor.
…..
Hair gets in the way of manual stimulation as well. Not only is it a buffer against friction, it makes it hard to see what’s going on.

Bush seems to feel the same way about every bald guy he meets.

Does anyone have a copy of the Manly Heterosexual agenda?

Burned ’em all. Got a problem with that?

This tree wants to sodomize Ben.

“I agree I need to get out more (and I’m working on that), but I still doubt I’ll find many heterosexual men with hairless pubes! Are we talking about two different communities, hetero and homo, by any chance?”

CYCLISTS! check them out! i mean, if you’re looking for the smoothies. for, you know, purposes of argument or discussion or whatever. yes. right.