Racist Ducky, You’re The One …
Posted on April 7th, 2008 by D. Aristophanes
Ernie to Burt Prelutsky:
Above: “I three the sandbox, Burt.”
When you make up a fake black correspondent, it’s a good idea to make your own dialogue reasonable and brief, while making his rambling, incoherent and tin-eared.
I like how he argues that Democrats are both responsible for the KKK and Jim Crow laws, as well as those damn black entitlement programs. Hubba-wha?
He has a point, tho. His fake interlocutor is an idiot. A mentally disabled five year old from Indonesia could shoot down Prelutsky’s arguments.
Dixiecrats, people, they were Dixiecrats! And guess which side of the aisle they decided to go to after 1964?
Wow, that might be the worst one yet, and the longest, too. He achieves twice the stupidity in three times the distance; it’s like he has some sort of moron mechanical advantage. He hopes Hillary will win because it’s still OK to be sexist. I mean, wow, blatant much, pal? His fauxbama supporter is bargaining for concessions with some wingnut that no one has ever heard of after 2 or 3 exchanges?
For that matter, why is this theoretical Christopher writing _this_ particular cockamamie nutjob when he could be pissing up Bill O’Reilly’s leg? Oh, wait, he respects Perlutsky. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
The stupid is strong with that one. I could only get through a couple of paragraphs before I blacked out.
Or, as I like to say Hysterical Woman, the Republicans freed the slaves, then all moved south and tried to reinstate it.
When I started reading this, I thought to myself, “This isn’t so bad. I don”t know what D is talking abou…”
Then I got to the third or fourth response.
Wow. The stupid is indeed strong with this one.
There are more comments here then there are over there.
Some how that is funny to me.
http://www.superdickery.com/stupor/82.html holy CRAP.
Yes, I have far too much free time. Stop looking at me like that.
I wear my black-tinted glasses at night
So I can, so I can
Watch you weave
Then breathe your story lines
Some Guy, it’s my understanding that the “Captain Confederacy” comic was more of an alternate-reality, “What if the Confederacy won the Civil War and eventually got it’s own version of Captain America?” story, and not a pro-racism story. John M. Ford did a little work on the series, and I doubt he’da touched it otherwise…
Here’s the money quote for me:
Clown Hall.
Um, Burt old buddy. Just a tip. The term “Afro American” went out of use before “Mr. Christopher” was born. You might as well have had him refer to himself as “Coloured.”
Still, I’d like to see a
War Between the StatesWar of Northern AggressionCivil War era smackdown between Captain Confederacy and Captain America. That’d be awesome!This was as far as I got. Note to all GOP pundits, more of this, please. Maybe next time you could ask Blakc Americans why they refuse to admit slavery was good for them as it got them out of Africa. Truly, this is a winning strategy for you. Run with it, whitey!
Ahh, classic Chris Muirisms. You’re not a racist if you make up a black person to tell you that you’re not a racist.
At the end of his overlong joke, the writer bio says he is a successful and well-rounded writer, Umm I see from the photo that you are (polite)well rounded. But how could you be successful and post at the Desolation Row of the internet? Apologies to other residents of Desolation Row.
Burt has learned that a “pretend” friend is less likely to get a restraining order against him.
True, David, but imaginary friends are also more likely to espouse the views and speak the words that you would have them espouse and speak.
It’s ev@r so much more tidy than actually having to convince a real black person to say those things.
I’m guessing Mr. Christopher’s first name is Oliver
Is Townhall blocking the link from S,N? I’m getting a ‘page not available’ screen when I try to click over. Weenies.
OK. I tried again and it worked this time. Not that that’s a good thing…
In summation, let me just say, as I have in the past, that bigots are simply the laziest people in the world.
Well, yeah, he demonstrates that.
The fake black correspondent referred to his fellow blacks as “Afro Americans”? I haven’t heard the term “Afro American” since the ’70s.
It was nice of Bert to remind us how lazy they are, though. I haven’t been reminded of that since the ’70s either.
{ rolls eyes }
Awww… it’s just awful when a perfectly reasonable, logical person tries to have a dialogue on race and it gets ruined because a lazy, stupid black person has to go and bring up lynching.
For all you non-reasonable, logical people, here is a handy pocket guide to what is relevant in history and what is not:
Relevant:
Lincoln freed the slaves
Reconstruction-era black politicians ran as Republicans
From post-reconstruction to 1964, the South was solidly Democratic
Republicans split on civil rights legislation which demonstrates their courageous willingness to do the right thing in spite of the political costs.
Democrats split on civil rights legislation which just goes to show that they don’t really support civil rights.
Democrats are always giving handouts to poor black people, who are lazy and stupid and therefore don’t realize that Democrats are just buying votes and really hurting the blacks by keeping them stupid and lazy, unlike Republicans who don’t have such a cynically racist worldview. Republicans don’t want to give poor black people anything because they practice color-blind “tough love”, and if black people weren’t so stupid and lazy they’d realize that.
Irrelevant:
All US racial history previous to 1860.
Except, of course that it was white men who founded the country and made it great, you ungrateful, diversity-worshipping swine.
The 3/5 rule. The Founding Fathers did not invent the 3/5 rule. The 3/5 rule appeared by magic and nobody noticed until it had all been ratified and then it was too late.
For a party whose first president fought a civil war to settle the question that the federal government can interfere with state’s rights to protect the rights of the individuals within those states, Republicans have really done fuck-all since then to exercise that principle, haven’t they? But that isn’t what’s important, because shut up, that’s why.
Lynching and slavery. Lynching and slavery are completely irrelevant, and thinking it is relevant is possibly anti-semitic and definitely anti-American. How can you dwell on the crimes your own country did to your own people for nearly three centuries when compared to the sufferings that America’s favoritist enemy EVAR inflicted on other people for two whole decades? Pointing out the infamy and murderousness of American racists diminishes the singularity of the infamy and murderousness of German racists, donchaknow.
One out of every eight young black men in this country is in prison somewhere, but this is irrelevant because white people aren’t racist anymore, therefore black people aren’t in jail because of racism but because they are scary and thuggish and always up to no good. Anyway, you’d think a person would be too ashamed of that kind of number to bring it up. If we arrest enough of you to make it one in seven, would you be too embarrassed to talk about it then? How about one in five?
I hope this has been helpful.
The tone of his remarks was reasonable and he seemed to be well-educated, but by the time we had had six or eight exchanges, he’d managed to convince me he was an idiot.
Prelutsky managed to convince his interlocutor that Prelutsky is an idiot much more quickly.
Pointing out the infamy and murderousness of American racists diminishes the singularity of the infamy and murderousness of German racists, donchaknow.
Unless, of course, one is pointing out that the Democratic party was once racist.
Or that Robert Byrd was in the klan 5 or 6 decades ago.
O.K. Burt, you may be a well rounded and successful writer, but you are a terrible lier. I don’t believe for one second that “Mr. Christopher” exists. It’s not as bad as the Anchoress’ story about the book store, but it’s close. You also really seem to enjoy talking down to (fake) Afro-Americans in a very condescending way, as if you were some sort of benevolent plantation owner gently putting the quaint and child-like negroes in their place. Cut it out.
Jenniebee wins the thread.
Oh no he didn’t. Did he actually say, to a black man, that the lynchings of black men were no big deal because other people in other countries have killed more people?
Obviously, obviously the fact that ONE black man is even in the running for President means racism is dead. Despite the fact that he is famous party because it is so unusual that anyone besides an old white guy would be in the position he is in. No chance at all that it’s systemic bias in favour of old white guys!
Right, because conservatives are being soooo circumspect right now, so very very cowed by political correctness that they won’t say a word, even though he’s merely in the primaries.
Somebody over on that thread needs to put together some references to all the bigoted white pastors who DO get a pass in the mainstream media.
Apparently, “God should judge America for its gays and liberals–and poor blacks in New Orleans should have just all owned cars so they could get out” = perfectly reasonable. Meanwhile, “God should judge America for mistreating its poor and starting wars overseas–and rich white people run this country, if you haven’t noticed” = seditious lies and treason ZOMG.
(I’d post over there myself but I really don’t want to register.)
No, sorry, I’m not clicking on a link that takes me to Townhall. I’ll never get back any of the time I spend there. It’s LGF for people who can read.
Registration is not that much of a hassle, but their commenting system stinks. It really is America’s Shittiest Website.
I’ve decided that I really wouldn’t want to read a sex scene written by Burt.
Registration isn’t much of a hassle, but be warned- use a fake e-mail addy. I used my real one to blast Hooters Hewitt, and got stuck receiving various ClownHall newsletters. The only way they’ll let you unsubscribe apparently is to write them a tangible snailmail letter. Lovely.
The thing that gets me most about the Rev. Wright controversy is how nobody has pointed out that it’s just one more example of the conservative double standard over political correctness.
The Rev. Wright said some things that are very upsetting to people. He was merely being a politically incorrect maverick, and unconcernedly offending whitey.
But, as we all have noticed, there are two kinds of political incorrectness: that which is upsetting to some liberals and thus attracts conservatives who go on and on about liberal fascism just because a handful of liberals express outrage about over-the-top conservative nonsense; and
that which upsets conservatives, which is not called political incorrectness, but is quickly seized upon by the conservative media – excuse me, the media, I meant to say – and quickly becomes the standard by which the conservative hive mind thinks and is solemnly repeated by all good, little non-thinking conservatives.
Thus, Trent Lott talks about how great the Dixiecrats were, and becomes a victim of political correctness; and
An artist makes a giant chocolate Jesus, the so-called Christians get all upset and the phrase “political correctness” never gets used because it is conservatives getting upset.
You mean to tell me that Mike S. Adams didn’t give Wright the thumbs up for speaking his un-PC mind?
The way I see it, the Democrats have been doing their best to destroy America for the past three decades, and it’s high time they got a taste of their own medicine.
Burt Prelutsky IS Gary Ruppert/Saul/Bastion Booger!
And Chris St. Ambrose McJames?
Jenniebee–
Also, Black people are allowed to vote, and there’s no more of that Jim Crow stuff, ipso facto, cogito ergo sum, Q to the E to the muthafuckin’ D, racism no longer exists. (Except for the liberals, naturally.)
I do not believe that Bert is smart enough to master changing handles. Plus the others live in Rhode Island.
Nobody lives in Rhode Island except the Chinese Vikings who built the Newport Tower.
And the ghost of H.P. Lovecraft.
“I’ll call him Christopher”
– christ bearer
– bearer of the annointed one
– water carrier
Every time one of these asshats starts that kind of blather I immediately reach for the big gun, someone who could say it better than just about anyone evAH. I give you the great Molly Ivins:
It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America.
The way I see it, the Democrats have been doing their best to destroy America for the past three decades, and it’s high time they got a taste of their own medicine.
hell yeah! free healthcare for all!!!!
The fact is, liberals, with their PC biased cultivation of victimhood as a policy, are far more racist than conservatives, who ask for nothing but hard work and support US. However, a lot of blacks are criminals. WHos fault? The Dems or themselves? Must be, not us, we are the party of Lincoln. We are the best thing that every happened to blacks. However, if the blacks committ many crimes, use welare, do too much reproducing and race mixing, they only hurt themselves. A black man not voting GOP votes against is own interests.
The fact is, white men gave power to everyone else, and they should be more thankful to us. However, maybe we should take it back, they have made our nation weaker and poorer.
Hey, liberal racists! Have any more class warfare lately?
Hey, Shoelimpy. Got any more conservative PC hypocrisy?
What I meant to say was:
I miss Bruce.
Welare, Oh-oh!
Cantare! Oh-oh-oh!
I am Gary Ruppert!
No, I am Gary Ruppert!
I am Gary Ruppert.
I too am Gary Ruppert!
I am the most liberal commenter on this blog, and I am Gary Ruppert!
We are all Gary Ruppert!
(In tribute to Charlton Heston).
I tried twice to read that page at Clown Hall, but both times it caused IE to hang. I’m not sure what that means. I think it means that it’s better for me if I don’t read it. I didn’t think IE was that smart. Maybe I’m wrong.
Um, I was Kirk Douglas.
“We secretly replaced this terrified little bigot’s ‘window’ with a mirror. Let’s see if he notices?”
Look, you guys have quite a Nero complex going on, laughing at the lesser lights on Town Hall, or creating fake trolls to entertain yourselves with…it’s all adorable, especially while the Democrat Party chokes on the seeds of its own classless liberalism, or the Caliphate threat looms, or that the American people have slowly realized, through the use of New Media, that liberals in this country aren’t anywhere close to Obama’s empty rhetoric. So yes, ho ho ho, hee hee hee, laugh it up, laugh it up. Serious citizens will get their news from a place like Pajamas Media or Instapundit while you’re yucking it up, creating fake trolls to amuse yourselves with. The fact is (the fact is, the fact is, I’ll keep saying it because I’ve got the facts on my side, deal with it), we’ve already won by virtue of your chuckles and giggles.
I fear for this country if you people were to win, but thankfully, you won’t. Heh.
I fear for this country if you people were to win, but thankfully, you won’t. Heh.
Yeah. Just like we lost the mid-term elections two years ago. It was a disaster.
Oh shit.
About screwing up actors, that is, not about Jason. I intend to maintain a manly front for the “not-a-troll.”
“Lesser Lights” haha
If ONE of you says it , Jason, ALL of you believe it…
I leave for just one week and we get another weak ass troll?
My ass is not weak!
I produce thunderous flatulence with only the help of Cheetos and Game Fuel!
So are you admitting that you are one and the same as “saul” and “Gary Ruppert”? Because those are the guys who say “the fact is,” and keep on saying it. As Jason, you only popped up a couple days ago and poor-mouthed the ol’ “The Democratic Party left me” line.
I myself simply thank God that the liberals are so effeminate and the blacks so lazy and stupid, otherwise they’d have won their war on America long ago.
(I’ve got this right, haven’t I? Lost my reading glasses and the talking points are a little fuzzy)
I’m my own person. I’ve noticed that some of the best blogs of the right have made “the fact is” into a successful theme, as it reminds the yuk-yukers that we do indeed have the facts on our side.
Wait a second…You’re a fake, methinks.
Now we have real trolls faking concern trolls faking parody trolls.
Or is it fake trolls faking concern trolls? Or concern trolls faking real trolls?
I think we need one of those Gygax books in order to figure all of this out. He would come up with much more interesting classifications.
I bet this has something to do with bein’ liberal, huh? Or the heartkand? Tell me what the facts are.
This has me confused, too! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing.
This has me confused, too! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing.This has me confused, too! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing.This has me confused, too! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing.This has me confused, too! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing.This has me confused, too! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing.This has me confused, too! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing.This has me confused, too! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing.This has me confused, too! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing.This has me confused, too! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing.This has me confused, too! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing.This has me confused, too! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing.This has me confused, too! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing.This has me confused, too! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing.
Fixed.
Factual as the bible, eh Jason?
I am my own person too. That is why I parrot all the Republican talking points. It is just a coincidence that an independent thinker like myself says the exact things as Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly and Michelle Malkin.
Liberals. Hmf.
I’m from the same factory as Malfunctioning Glenn Reynolds Robot, Malfunctioning Charles Johnson Robot, and Malfunctioning Star Parker Robot.
I don’t think they do good work at our factory.
I wish we had better access to the Who/is for this site. I have a sneaking suspicion that there are only about 2 IPs across all of our trolls.
Except for Beth. It is impossible to figure out how many of them there are.
This has to be some kind of record for rapid-fire serial sockpuppetry.
Nice work, guys!
Sorry, guy.
Sam –
So that works on their IP? Or their screen name?
Jason had me at “Serious citizens”.
t4t – just screen name. I’m guessing about the sock puppet thing, but their comments all looked pretty similar to me even before I piefiltered ’em.
Gary Ruppert is PEOPLE!
I’ve noticed that some of the best blogs of the right have made “the fact is” into a successful theme,
Hear that folks? It’s a “theme”.
Shoelimpy may be a weak ass troll, but new? That he ain’t. He remembers when Gary got here.
whassup Shoe?
I have a sneaking suspicion that there are only about 2 IPs across all of our trolls.
Be yourself – everyone else is already taken. – Oscar Wilde.
And no, we lowly mortals can’t get to the IP addy’s of commenters. The overlords however….
That was me, with my Spartacus thing.
Before I realized I was quite mistaken about who was in Spartacus.
The fact is, anything can be a fact. Even when there’s not only no actual, y’know, fact. Really – the fact can be a whole set of …er, points or …shut up, that’s why.
All that matters is if we say it enough times, it’s true. Neener neener neener.
“race mixing” gary?
are you sure you wnat to use the Klan platform?
Do you prefer snails or oysters?
“Thunderous Flatulence” might make for a pretty good band name.
I still think my fave is Flock of Assholes.
Huh. Serendipity is cool.
Unless, that is, you piss them off enough over here that they come over and attempt to troll your own blog.
Anyone want Saul’s IP address?
That was me, with my Spartacus thing.
Oh, oops.
Well, it made a fine and believable screen-grab, anyway.
I haven’t heard the term “Afro American” since the ’70s.
Well now we know at least which decade the Pukes are living in. Now if only we could pinpoint which Universe they were in.
Nah, I don’t want his IP, I want to compare it to the other IPs.
I think we need one of those Gygax books in order to figure all of this out. He would come up with much more interesting classifications.
Yes, but would an eternity of troll-sorting qualify as “hell” or “heaven” to the late Mr. Gygax?
All you need to know, really, is that trolls love pie.
Hey, you’ve gotta start somewhere…
Trolls prove the internet IS the bridge to the 21st century, by living under it.
The shoelimpy™ who posted earlier in this thread is not the real shoelimpy™.
Hey, mdhatter.
Protected Static,
Don’t tell them all our secrets! Then they’ll know what we can do! Our security will be null and void. You endanger us all! We’re ALL GOING TO DIE! Why do you hate the InterNets?
Actually, the more I think about it, the above might actually be true in that teh trollsies are in fact too fucking stoopid to have thought of that little hitch. Better to lure them into here and there then compare notes…..
This has to be some kind of record for rapid-fire serial sockpuppetry.
Jim is the Pie Piper.
Ruppertvich, ruppervitch?
PROTIP: When creating a phony opponent for a phony debate, it’s also helpful to NOT write your replies BEFORE you write the “comments” from your “Christopher-Bot” lest the overwhelming stench of your not-so-cunning ruse waft through the cyber-breeze like a rank beer-fart in church, spoiling your fun & displaying to one & all what a raging dickhead you really are.
THE INTERNETS IS SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS
… does this mean I can’t be Spartacus too?
I’ve noticed that some of the best blogs of the right have made “the fact is” into a successful theme,
Hear that folks? It’s a “theme”.
Hm…I think it’s more of a motif, Bob.
Theme? Motif?
Meme? Belief?
Let’s call the whole thing off!
Registration isn’t much of a hassle, but be warned- use a fake e-mail addy. I used my real one to blast Hooters Hewitt, and got stuck receiving various ClownHall newsletters. The only way they’ll let you unsubscribe apparently is to write them a tangible snailmail letter. Lovely.
start emailing them links to dwarf porn, you soon get removed from the email list.
The fact is that I have been watching Gary and Saul make out for the past hour, and I am disgusted with myself. You liberals have pushed me to this!!