I am giddy with excitement!!!

Holy eye-scorching unself-awareness, Batman!

Please, Gav, whatever you do, don’t use the sammich.

Yet another situation where Todd Seavey’s personal ad might be in order.

Hurry Bat Blogger! The comely young lasses of the Right need you!!

The fact is, stop mocking patriot conservatives.

That was so completely awesome. I pray, PRAY, that soon we’ll see a guy’s version giving advice to the ladies.

Yet another situation where Todd Seavey’s personal ad might be in order.

I’ll bet that d00d pulls mad Conservative Trim™ two-four-7-3-sixty-five. . .

Do any of them have profiles on Hannidate?

The fact is, why are these conservative ladies having such a hard time finding good conservative fellas? Someone needs to get Ace on the horm for his play dough and bacon analysis.

I’ve been wearing out my F5 key since I first saw the Batsignal. hurryuphurryupHURRYUP.

#6, Dawn Eden (The Thrill of the Chaste) has been a wonderful inspiration for Amanda [ChastityFest 2k7: Less fest, more hymen.]

Giddy only begins to describe it.

Looks like we’ve got Wingnut Sign, old chum. To the No Pole!

*Bwidilli-bwidilli-bwee!!*

“I’ve been wearing out my F5 key since I first saw the Batsignal. hurryuphurryupHURRYUP.”

Ditto ! I want flames/ explosions the photo too Gavin. Please ?

[ChastityFest 2k7: Less fest, more hymen.]

I’d think they’d put the kibosh on this pretty quick when they start getting some would-be suicide bombers wanting an advance on their 72 virgins.

Sharon Soon projecting on liberal men:

First of all, they don’t have the same values and I find that to be a fundamental problem. I know a lot of people are willing to accept that, but I’m not. Their whole world view is different from someone who has conservative values and traditional values as a way of life.

Being focused on yourself, and your rights, and materialism, and no ultimate sense of morality — because I guess when you believe in a more secular way of life, a more liberal viewpoint, it’s all about what you can do for yourself and how you can be happy…and you don’t have any belief in absolute truth or religious principles to guide how you live. You get guys who are selfish and into themselves and don’t care so much about humanity, other people, or me — that just leads to a lot of problems. I also have a problem with guys who are into things like getting completely trashed and doing drugs…

OMG, I so want to date one of those pople, but only because all of my relationships end as horrible plane wrecks. I’m going down in flames anyway, might as well take a mortal enemy with me!

My favorite was the one who thinks she’s “converted” a bunch of her liberal dates to conservatism.

I wonder what she had to do in order to “convert” them?

Cole’s site has crashed — what’s the deal?

That Dawn Eden has some scary Xtian psycho eyes. Gentlemen, if you date her, I suggest you keep a hand over your dangly bits at all times. If the relationship advances to the “serious” point, which I’m sure in her case means “married”, sleep with one eye open if you let the sun go down on a quarrel.

This has been today’s episode of “Candy’s Right-Wing-Women Dating Advice.”

“Sure I’ll vote Republican.”

Sounds like Sharon Soon needs to stop dating rich white frat boys.

“I can’t respect a guy who’s liberal all that much because it makes me question his intelligence.”

Right, because after authors, scientists, philanthropists, actors, musicians, politicians, etc., you’re bound to find someone with intelligence you’ll never question, Cassy!

They usually either take it too far with the metrosexual thing (ahem), which is the least attractive fad in the history of men’s fashion … If he thinks Barack Obama would be a great President, I think, gee, how bright could this guy be? says someone who voted for Einstein Jr.? They don’t have the manners that conservatives do. She says after calling them dummies. And goes on to say that conservative men are more polite because they believe women are inferior. Awesome.

You know all of the girls’ photos speak highly of cell phone camera technology.

“You get guys who are selfish and into themselves and don’t care so much about humanity, other people, or me — that just leads to a lot of problems.”

Wait, so conservatives are socialists? I guess Doughy has been disproved.

I only date seal hunters.

Gavin, the fish are in the barrel, and we’ve handed you the dynamite and matched. Make with the kaboom, Please. Pretty Please.

I don’t want to sound like breast-obsessed Ann Nuthaus, but for modest Christian virgins they sure go for the boobie-flashin’ low-cut sweater look, don’t they? (Well, I guess if they don’t flash them around the Clenis it’s probably okay with Ann, but still . . .) When did dressing like a roadhouse floozie become teh haute style for virtuous wannabe Xtian matrons?

Some of them could definitely use a sammich, Gavin . . .

Every time I feel sad about being single and not having a clue where the human women hide in NYC, I’m going to read that article.
Shit’s more affirming of singleness than a whole season of Sex and the City.

This from the comments:

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Conservatives are just plain better looking than America Hating Democraps.”

I suppose we have to wait for Gavin before we vote, right ?

As a dating pool, they certainly explain Ted Haggard, Mark Foley, and Larry Craig.

…guys who are selfish and into themselves and don’t care so much about humanity, other people, or me — that just leads to a lot of problems. I also have a problem with guys who are into things like getting completely trashed and doing drugs…

I wonder if she feels that way about all lying drunken cokeheads.

Conservatives are just plain better looking than America Hating Democraps.”

Yeah, that Brad Pitt sure is a loser.

also have a problem with guys who are into things like getting completely trashed and doing drugs…

Thankfully, I had Jenna on speed-dial.

Just like teh first pitch on Opening Day, expectations are running pretty high. Don’t let us down Gavin!

I dated a conservative gal for a little while. She informed me that all of her *conservative* male associates were gay, and therefore relatively underavailable.

She also informed me that none of her conservative male associates would spank her properly.

Sweet merciful crap. Are we sure that wasn’t satire?

g – yes, and that Johnny Depp – hideous! Why, I can hardly stand to look at him for hours and hours at a time.

And Eddie Vedder – oh, the horror!

Can’t remember the last time I felt so glad, so satisfied, so goddamned grateful to be gay.

Tbogg are you commenting from work?

Oh dear.

No good can come from this.

Oh well. Goin to hell anyway…

mikey

Holy Bat-Signal Gavin! Those comely young lasses are all vying to be the next Marie Jon’ by golly! I know that the fine fellows at S,N! will be able to pervide a suitable perspective for any them gals!

If they brought a Liberal home to mommy would it be “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner II”? My favorite one was the chick who wondered about the intelligence of anyone who thinks John Kerry or Obama are decent people/politicians. Does she even know about C-Plus Augustus? Apparently she thinks he’s the second cumming of Christ or something.

Moronitude.

Shorter Dawn Eden:

I’d totally be into screwing libruls, but the voices in my head forbid it.

The best is yet to come — check Ace and his commenters. If they represent conservative men, conservative women are more than welcome to them. But it appears these conservative men don’t think much of conservative women . . . oh dear.

Hat tip to tbogg for the link.

[…] a lot of people are willing to accept that, but I’m not.
[…] when you believe in a more secular way of life, a more liberal viewpoint, it’s all about what you can do for yourself and how you can be happy ; it should be all about what you can do for me and how I can be happy.

That’s better. For people who don’t understand irony, teh wingennutzers sure are good at it.

Men don’t use the phone any more. They don’t call. They instant message, they e-mail, whatever, but there’s something to be said for meeting a guy and having him call you.

Um….

The fact is none can hold a candle to Cheeto Girl.

I like the one who ‘fesses up that liberal men are more fun and easier to know, but then goes on to basically say that for the long haul, she prefers a cold, unaffectionate, distant bastard who “shares her values.” Pretty much sums up her values.

Oh fuck, the comments at Ace’s place are to die for!

Ace:

…”I think if anyone is really interested at all they’re going to start an intelligence-gathering mission to determine how happening you are. So they’re going to ask things to elicit information about what kind of stud you might (or might not) be; you really don’t have to offer that up from the get-go.”

Fucking awesome. There is so much goodness in these two sentences. But it gets better in the comments:

_____________________

If I’ve learned anything about women, it’s that when they try to tell you what they really want in a man, they lie through their teeth.

Posted by: Vice President Huckabee at March 31, 2008 12:23 PM//

______________________

Gold!

Ace almost has the slightest tinge of self awareness in that link, nolo.

The other thing is I think guys still all smart from the “strategy” employed by the middle-school studs (I say middle school because that’s where the most intense memories of rejection and the unfairness of life began; by high school it was already just accepted… mostly). That “strategy” seemed to be: Act like you don’t give a shit, act like you could have anyone else you wanted, act like you’re doing a girl a favor to be seen with her.

The trouble with our stupid male brains is, I think, we got the idea those dudes were scoring because of that strategy, whereas, in fact, they were going to score no matter what they did, being studs and all, and thus they weren’t scoring because of that strategy, more like in spite of it. They were scoring because they were richer, better-looking, more athletic and more popular than everyone else. Their attitude wasn’t getting them all that tail tail, it was getting so much tail that was giving them that attitude.

I’d feel sorry for Ace, as it’s clear he knows damn well he has absolutely nothing to offer a woman, but since he ultimately ends up blaming women for not wanting to fuck a giant lump of sad, he doesn’t even qualify for pity.

When you read what the women want, then read Ace and his merry band of boyos, you have to wonder how wingnuts manage to reproduce at all. And yet, they do. A conundrum.

Ugly in Pink, I’d feel sorry for Ace if he could turn the spark of self awareness into an opportunity to turn into a real boy, but then I wouldn’t have to feel sorry for him because he wouldn’t be pathetic anymore.

….not wanting to fuck a giant lump of sad…

Wooha!

Candy, I had exactly the same reaction.

Someone did airbrush out their party hats. IT IS A MYSTERY,

At least Pinnochio was kind of cute.

The fact is, …

So if a sammich has batteries and vibrates, is it still a sammich?

A whole coterie of parody trolls has been found with those conservative women.

It just CAN’T be true that the typical (>50%) of the sampled population of conservative women who “date a lot” are hovering near the fat/obese line. That would just be too..too…much line a certain stereotype of murikan women not living on coastlines.

We need a whole nuther level of irony here. Irony to the google power, perhaps.

Cheeto Girl cannot compete with The Bacon Couple.

Especially considering how much conservative men pontificate on the obligation of all women to be thin and how it’s “biologically impossible” for men to be attracted to women with BMIs over 19 or so. Or, maybe you don’t have to actually be thin, maybe you just have to hate yourself for failing to be so and cry into your Heartland Approved tasteless beer and cry some more and try to induce vomiting afterwards and sink into a deep hole of despair and self-hatred and lardy misery. Maybe that’s what gets their motors running. Evolutionarily, that is.

Those ugly liberal men.

My favorite is the one who explained that she “converted to being a conservative” at the same time that she became a Christian.

What is that all about? Is it the “Holy Light Switch” syndrome? I can just imagine the internal dialogue: “Now that Jesus has come into my heart, I must immediately jettison all of my sincerely held political beliefs in favor of whatever my pastor/Jerry Falwell/James Dobson/the RNC tells me to believe. I’m so happy that Jesus has freed me from the chains of my spiritual oppression.”

I was raised a Christian and pretty much consider myself to still be a Christian, but—Damn!—it seems more and more like a cult to me every day.

By the way, there are two types of men who date Conservative women: (1) liberal men who pretend to be conservative in order to get laid and (2) conservative men who pretend to care about them as a person in order to get laid. A liberal man will probably dump her once the sex becomes boring (and you know it will, because she’s a conservative). A conservative man will probably end up marrying her, at which point he will immediately begin treating her like crap and start looking for someone to have an affair with.

I’m just sayin’

Clearly, single men who are teh librulz need to eat more Cheetos in order to attract the attention of the love-starved virginal skanks of Conservadom.

I wonder what The Derb thinks about this.

This comment just about sums up conservative men on the internets:

********

John,

Do me a favor. Next time you talk to your girlfriends, ask them why when they say what they’re looking for in a guy, they describe me. But then in reality most of these women would rather avoid me.

(Yes, I’m a nerd, but I’m getting over it.)

Posted by TAKirkpatrick
March 31, 2008 11:00 AM |

Humanity is doomed to extinction.

That is all.

The last time Gavin did a post mocking conservative dating, the accompanying photos were hilarious.

A liberal man will probably dump her once the sex becomes boring (and you know it will, because she’s a conservative)

I doubt that. In my experience it is either incredibly awkward from the beginning, or it opens a Pandora’s box of repressed desires and masochistic fetishes that careen out of even a typical liberal’s comfort zone. Not that there’s anything wrong with… *shrugs uncertainly*

I read Hawkins’ interviews. He is a terrible writer. The others strike as dull people.

Now I will read the comments above mine.

comely young lasses are all vying to be the next Marie Jon’ by golly!

Do they have recipes?

WordPress did not like my link and appears to have put it into moderation.
Do not want Teh Moderashun!
Here is another version: Cheeto Girl cannot compete with The Bacon Couple.

FuriousGeorge said,
Humanity is doomed to extinction.
Not sure if I can wait that long. I’m not keen on this idea of “deferred gratification”.

In my experience it is either incredibly awkward from the beginning, or it opens a Pandora’s box of repressed desires and masochistic fetishes that careen out of even a typical liberal’s comfort zone.

Kind of like this?

It’s not all horrors. A couple of the women said that movies and shows are bad ideas for a first date, which which I fully agree. But Eris, everything else…

…the problem with online dating is that even though some people do find their soul mate through that, I think the vast majority of people who attempt it will only find disappointment and heartbreak.

As opposed to mingling in a bar or church-social or whatever it is chaste conservatives do for fun, which leads directly to fulfillment with a perfect soul-mate. Dawn then goes on to complain that online dating makes it too easy to end a relationship early on. Idiot, that’s the best part about it. What the hell does she want? “Well we’re not really compatible and we don’t share any interests and we’re not all that attracted to each other, but hey, we’ve been seeing each other for a month so we’d best keep going!”

Women just go into it too much hating men, like they’re the enemy. They’re not. They’re thinking, oh this guy is just looking to get laid or…I think that women hating men is much more common than the men hating women.

Oh, absolutely. Why, it seems that every day the news has a story about some woman who beat the shit out of her man because he burned dinner. Don’t get me started on the way pop culture objectifies men as sex-objects to be used and discarded by women. I don’t love you bros, I’m out tha do’!

…the guys that come up to you and just think that they’re hot sh*t and that you’re lucky to have them grace you with their presence. That’s annoying….

As any guy in the dating scene can attest, humility is a great way to attract women. Just walk up to a lady with your hat in your hands, look at your feet, and say, “I’m terribly sorry to trouble you, but might you spare a moment of your time for a wretched soul as I?” That’s how true playahs do it.

I think that women hating men is much more common than the men hating women.

Obviously she hasn’t spent any time at Ace O’Spades’ place.

The fact is, that Conservative men are much more masculine than liberal men. It is the Conservative men who join the armed forces and are fighting the enemy in Iraq and Afghanistan, it is Conservative men that become police officers and enforcers of our nations laws, it is Conservative men who own, carry and shoot firearms and who go hunting, lift weights in the gym, drive trucks and and smoke cigars. Liberal men are the faggots who are stay at home dads and work as male nannies and who are gay and weak and feminine. Conservative men work, we go out get jobs and put bread on the table. Where as liberal men are a bunch of efeminate pussies.

God damn, comments #60 and #61 at Ace’s place have rendered me incapable of maintaining a professional manner for the rest of the afternoon.

Larry Craig,Mark Foley,Ted Haggard,Twenty Dollar Bob Allen,Trent Lott,Gary Ruppert.

The fact is, conservative men suck in bed, and not in any way that is pleasurable. The fact is, many of them subscribe to the electric socket theory of pleasuring women. They think all they have to do it plug it in, and the lights go on. The fact is, conservative men are way too attached to lightsoutsocksonmanontopgetitoverwithquick and it’s only conservative women, who think sex is icky to begin with, who will accept such lousy performance because they too want to get it over with quickly.

For those waiting for Gavin’s imminent pictorial commentary: Check out this totally awesome GOP elephant graphic at the Conservatives With Attitude! weblog.

The fact is, it is Conservative men throughout history such as Jesus Christ, George Washington, Teddy Roosevelt, John Wayne, Ronald Reagan and George W Bush that epitimizes what it is to be masculine.

1. “It is the Conservative men who join the armed forces and are fighting the enemy in Iraq and Afghanistan, it is Conservative men that become police officers and enforcers of our nations laws” ….

Which makes your a pussy-faggot for doing neither right?

2. …”lift weights in the gym”…

Really? How much do you bench, bitch?

3. “Liberal men are the faggots who are stay at home dads and work as male nannies and who are gay and weak and feminine. Conservative men work, we go out get jobs and put bread on the table. Where as liberal men are a bunch of efeminate pussies.”

I make more money than you, pussy.

_________________________

I know this is a fake Gary; I was just testing the winger theory that chicks dig insecure meat-heads.

Well, the king of conservative male dating tactics seems to be #131 from Ace’s comments. First he rolls up and says, “any chick who says she won’t sleep with me after I tell her she has great tits is a liar.”

Then he reveals his method:

And my batting average with younger women went way up after 30, somewhat to my surprise. A trip to the Bennigan’s and opening the door to the car and they think they’re the Belle of the Ball at the Four Seasons.

It occurred to me that this could be parody. But I want him to be a real person, a real, live boy.

No Atlass Juggs? Surely she would have had some fascinating things to say about dating.

*swoon*

> For those waiting for Gavin’s imminent pictorial commentary: Check out this totally awesome GOP elephant graphic at the Conservatives With Attitude! weblog.

The comments at that link encapsulate and sum up the entirety of wingnut repig existence.

> It occurred to me that this could be parody. But I want him to be a real person, a real, live boy.

No, just a lie.

You know how those sex surveys show the average guy sleeps with dozens of women, and the average woman sleeps with a couple of guys? You ever wonder how that arithmetic impossibility resolves itself?

It’s not what you think it is – repig men lying – but rather the fact that women don’t count date rape, which repigs specialize in, as sex.

No Atlass Juggs? Surely she would have had some fascinating things to say about dating.

Yes, and about moustache rides as well!

My favorite is the one who explained that she “converted to being a conservative” at the same time that she became a Christian.

What is that all about?

Well, there is definitely a section of wingnutty Christians who will tell you that liberalism and Christianity are inherently incompatible, that one can be a liberal or a Christian, but not both. It’s a load of crap, obviously, but it does have a certain staying power with the newly converted, especially as it can be made to jibe so well with the whole “I am shedding my old, sinful, bad ways, and embracing this new life of righteous glory and glorious righteousness!” zeal that often accompanies conversion.

No, just a lie.

See, I knew it. No one really eats at Bennigan’s.

I wish my Gary would meet one a those nice clean Christian girls I’m tired of his sleeping in bed with me and making those funny noises under the covers with his hands all a-twitter. It was fine for the first 45 years, y’understand, but truth is I’s tired, I’m done all wore out doing his wash and cooking his rice and chicken way he likes it. Time for a nice girl to take over, Gary, c’mon now an do yo momma a favor.

Isn’t it a bit to early for April’s fools day in the states?

Check out this totally awesome GOP elephant graphic at the Conservatives With Attitude! weblog.

Wow, the Log Cabin Republicans are making big improvements in the graphic design department. Although I do think that the red panties and the Wonder Woman boots/belt combo are overkill. Still, who doesn’t love camp?

I wish my Gary would meet one a those nice clean Christian girls I’m tired of his sleeping in bed with me and making those funny noises under the covers with his hands all a-twitter.

Does the noise go Thup thup thup thup fap thup?

April’s Fools Day has been canceled America-wide this year due to redundancy.

Can you imagine if we woke up tommorrow and everything had returned to sanity? That would be the cruelest April Fools ever.

Jrod said,

March 31, 2008 at 23:0

As any guy in the dating scene can attest, humility is a great way to attract women. Just walk up to a lady with your hat in your hands, look at your feet, and say, “I’m terribly sorry to trouble you, but might you spare a moment of your time for a wretched soul as I?” That’s how true playahs do it.

Hence why emo kids never have girlfriends.

Does the noise go Thup thup thup thup fap thup?

Naw, I reckin it kinda sounds more like he keeps talkin bout some girl named “hartlan” over n over. she soun like a nice conservitive girl but I dunno.

A guy to get laid needs to have balls. He does not pretend he doesn’t want pussy because all real men do. I’ve looked girls in the face and said as an opener, “You’ve got great tits.” And I smiled. And they smiled back. And I fucked them that night. It happens all the time. Conceal your sexuality and you’ll appear like a fake. Wear it confidently like an old t-shirt and it will intrigue.

There it is folks, read it and fucking weep. You need BALLS to get laid, big, gigantic balls of steel!

Balls of steel bruise the backs of your thighs something awful.

pedestrian said,

March 31, 2008 at 23:52

Can you imagine if we woke up tommorrow and everything had returned to sanity? That would be the cruelest April Fools ever.

Sometimes I think that the past seven and a half years was a cruel and elaborate April Fools joke. I wouldn’t be surprised if tomorrow, Bush is going to hold a press conference and say, “April Fools!”, and then Gore comes from behind the curtain, laughing his ass off, and whispering to Bush, “good show.”

Atlanta?

Oh jesus, those Ace’o sadsacks trying to puzzle out how to get a girl just gave me a nasty junior high flashback.

I look forward to the challenge this must be for you.

Heck, with about a month, *I* could make that one funny.

[…] you can’t understand it even after you go to Sadly, No!, which is a blog that specializes in extremely funny and brilliant eviscerations of Greater […]

Those Acers seem very dominated by their awareness of “alphas” and “betas” and how much “pussy” they’re getting/not getting. It’s really chickenshit and is in no way the defining masculine trait they seem to think it is.

OT, but I want you to know that all this talk about Cheetos has finally done the trick–yesterday, for the first time in more than 20 years, i bought a bag.

Not bad, actually. Tangy and rather pleasingly crispy. Licking the sticky dust off one’s fingers afterwards oddly appealing.

…for the first time in more than 20 years, i bought a bag.

I did that too, not long ago. There’s something about all this reading about Cheetos that made me remember them fondly – which is weird, given the context they’re mentioned in here.

I too thought they were not bad. Not good enough to keep getting more, but in another 20 years maybe I’ll get another bag.

Baaaahhhaaaaaahhhaaaahhhhaaaaahhhaaaa!!!

Okay, this one just stuck out from Ace’s typespittle. Sort of sums up an awful lot, if you ask me.

(I say middle school because that’s where the most intense memories of rejection and the unfairness of life began; by high school it was already just accepted… mostly)

Yes, Ace (and so many of your commenters), nobody really wanted you then, and nobody really wants you now. Bawww. And we wonder why they’re so darned angry. Seriously, though, that speaks volumes. It’s full-on serial-killer stuff.

#

pedestrian said,
March 31, 2008 at 23:52
Can you imagine if we woke up tommorrow and everything had returned to sanity? That would be the cruelest April Fools ever.

If for no other reason than that we’d know that the 2nd would break and it would all go back to bizzarroworld.

Humanity is doomed to extinction.

You say that like it’s a bad thing….

Okay, I confess. I eat the occasional crunchy Cheeto myself. Hey, I have a teenager, so the things are sometimes brought into my house. A teenager can play WoW and eat Cheetos and drink Red Bull without relinquishing his membership in the left-wing atheist Radiohead community. I keep telling him that some time around 18 the immunity will wear off.

At any rate, Cheetos are not harmful if eaten rarely and in very small quantities.

I don’t think Cheeetos are the CAUSE of the wingnutism. I think the wingnutism can bring on cravings for Cheetos, but eating Cheetos does not actually bring about the stupid.

On the other hand, my weakness is for sunflower nuts…

mikey

just don’t try the special enchilada flavor crunchy Cheetos. You hope they are delicious, but they’re rather meh.

I was a closet Cheeto eater during the era my kid packed a lunch to school. He ate everything in the snack pack except the Cheetos.

The fact is I am an Alpha Male who enjoys collecting and shooting firearms, hunting, fishing, football, NASCAR and driving big trucks.

The fact is I am an Alpha Male

Naomi Wolf says you should switch to earth tones and go walking in the woods during deer season.

The fact is I am an malleable sycophant who enjoys taffy-pulls, barbershop quartets, argyle socks, Archie Comics and The Shopping Network.

The fact is that “The ?lpha Male” was a prequel made to cash in on the box-office success of “The ?mega Man”. Charlton Heston wasn’t available, so his character was played by James Franciscus. The movie went down poorly at the preview stage, and was only released on video.

#

Lord Gary Ruppert said,

April 1, 2008 at 2:37

The fact is I am an Alpha Male who enjoys collecting and shooting firearms, hunting, fishing, football, NASCAR and driving big trucks.

Oh jeez, that’s just sad. Next are you gonna tell us about your hand made boots, your expensive sports car and your heroic actions?

Sad little man. Hope your life trolling the intert00bz makes you feel like you have some kind of self worth.

But what do you do when you wake up at three aye emm and you realize that you are a sad, scared little boy who has NEVER done anything interesting? How do you deal with that? Do you resolve to take more karate lessons?

mikey

“any chick who says she won’t sleep with me after I tell her she has great tits is a liar.”

Head South young man!

After bitching endlessly, the gal with the “al dente spaghetti straps” says
Q What do you think the biggest thing women have wrong about men is?
A They hate men too much.

Hee. I guess hating men a little is not altogether a bad thing. Just don’t hate them too much.

“Well we’re not really compatible and we don’t share any interests and we’re not all that attracted to each other, but hey, we’ve been seeing each other for a month so we’d best keep going!”

Hey, that sounds just like wingnuts’ policy on Iraq!

I wonder about the one who claims she’s converted liberals to wingnuttism. Some liberal guys are either desperate or latent wingnuts.

Hey, that sounds just like wingnuts’ policy on Iraq!

To which one might say, “Face it. She’s just not that into you.”

I thought the guys had let themselves go, and they have, but that is some scary shit….

Being a liberal, I prefer goldfish crackers to cheetohs.

We can has fixed internets, pleeze?

It occurs to me that if there was such a thing as fundy Xian porn*, all the actresses would have names like Dawn Eden.

*Mainly dramatizations of the racier bits from the Old Testament, I think.

Man, the comments at Ace’s are just christawful. I kind feel sad for the denizens there – I’ve spent mucho time amongst the painfully shy nerdocracy, and heard much the same lamentations from them about their problems in getting laid – but then, considering that they’re a buncha tools who don’t really care about anyone else, I find myself going, “Meh…”