Shorter Marsha West
Posted on March 28th, 2008 by Gavin M.
- Perhaps “New Age” psychic John Edward is merely a huckster, but let’s be rational: What if he’s in league with demons?
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
Then we’re all screwed. Better run around going “screeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!” so everybody’s warned.
What, now the Left has to answer for John Edward? I must have missed that in our latest screed (right next to my copy of The Homosexual Agenda).
Good on us, infiltrating the shopping channel with Satanic forces in order to bring down capitalism and all.
I guess she didn’t see that episode of South Park.
Just did. And laughed.
…wait, that wasn’t your point?
Oh, man, he would have been the GREATEST president EVAR! Imagine, he could get advice from Washington! Lincoln! JESUS!
What?
And tomorrow, “Renew America” will present guest columnist Gladys Kravitz.
witchcraft on the home shopping network??????
I just knew that piece of shit can opener was teh evil!!
Perhaps Marsha West is merely stupid, but let’s be rational: What if she’s in league with our Buttbot Overlords?
Witchcraft on the Home Shopping Network?
It’s strictly taboo!
Hmpf. If she really believed in Jesus, she would be doing everything in her power to murder John Edwards, as commanded in Exodus 22:18.
psychics are witches? Damn, there’s one who has an office down the street!
Yeah, I haven’t seen a woman gloat over her husband’s death like that since those 9/11 bitches.
“Evolve by John Edwards… yours for just 3 easy payments of $222.”?
I would tune into the Home Shopping Network…
to see someone turned into a newt.
so ?
I’m surprised this woman has the couirage to show her face outside her door. Demons are everywhere, trying to seduce you! Oprah, feminists, and Victoria’s Secret are trying to seduce your kids! Yoga and psychics are trying to drive you away from god!
Lady, climb into the BIble and pull the cover over your head. We’ll all feel better.
Goddamn cockroaches.
The fact is, we don;t hold much truck with this tosh in the heartland. We have common sense and moral values, along with teh perfect Guide. If only America would turn back to this Guide, but no. The liberals love this state of godless distraction and perpectuate with in the MSM with bias and unfairness.
The fact is, learn all about media bias here
mrc.org
Looks like the Goold Ol Boy’s club is trying to bully the first legitimate female candidate out of the race.
Obama cultist Patrick Leahy said that Clinton should withdraw.
But only 22% of voters support Clinton withdrawing, and 22% support Obama withdrawing.
Now the Obama campaign has recieved the endorsement of ultraconservative Senator Bob Casey, an anti-choice bore whose father got abortion rights restricted even farther.
What’s the matter boys, scared of a strong female leader? You Obama cavemen need to get into the 21st century.
Also, Bob Casey Sr never endorsed Bill Clinton and probably voted for Bush and Dole.
Both Casey’s have been obsessed with abortion since it makes them feel inadequate when they think of women making decisions for themselves.
Welcome genuine troll!
Have you been to church today, Gary? Did you read your Holy Bible while eating your morning bowl of Bag O’Dicks(TM)? How many bible verses have you memorized? Do you belong to a Sadly Singles Christian Group? Do you tithe to the church, donate to the poor, volunteer for the needy?
Oh look! {points and beckons others] A new troll!!!!
Shields and spears, men!
WE ARE SPARTA!!!!!!
I love how cute new trolls are when they come here. They’re all “get out the talking points” efficient, and brace themselves for the flame war. It’s so cute when they furrow their brows in puzzlement at the reception they get. But they gamely try on – another post peppered with talking points. Sometimes they try to amp up the volume a little, get the language more intense. Yet still, the response puzzles them.
They’re just so darn cute!
I grew up in an ignorant little Bible Belt cracker town just off the highway in Southern Missouri. You could see it in Jesus Camp, going by the car window in the scenes that featured clips from Christian hate radio.
It was the kind of place where most cars and businesses had Jesus fish, and the Christian private schools rivalled the public school in attendance. Sometimes my fundie classmates and I would be taken out “witnessing”, or “knocking on doors and annoying people”. There was one psychic in town, who operated out of a rundown little house on the main street. She didn’t need any special sense to see what was happening when she opened the door and saw a half dozen 8-year-olds in uniforms on her step. “Do you know Jesus?” I chirped, before our adult chaperone could say anything. “Sorry children,” she said, shooting daggers at our teacher, “No solicitations”.
For weeks I checked myself in the mirror each morning, convinced that she had put a spell on me.
My unbridled enthusiasm for Obama keeps me from noticing that he ENDORSED NAZI DEATH CAMPS.
What’s the matter, ladies, scared of a strong black leader? You Hillary Jim Crowers need to get into the 21st century.
While HRC courts freaking Richard Mellon Scaife.
You’re full of bull-feathers.
“Now the Obama campaign has recieved the endorsement of ultraconservative Senator Bob Casey, an anti-choice bore whose father got abortion rights restricted even farther.”
Whereas, Hillary’s campaign *is* an abortion.
I think it’s obvious that Clinton, Obama, and McCain should all withdraw and should all endorse the satanic ghost of Steve Irwin.
What’s the matter boys, scared of a strong demonic leader?
Obama’s books have racist diatribes about how White people are responsible for all the greed in the world.
His pastor supports Hamas too.
Nominating a terrorist sympathizer is going to really go over well.
Geesh. Satan-hysteria is so 1980s.
What are we supposed to be quivering in fear about at the moment? Even the Moooo-slim terrrrists are getting a bit passé. Must be one of those times when the fRighties are gearing up a new horde to threaten us all with.
“Do you know Jesus?” I chirped, before our adult chaperone could say anything. “Sorry children,” she said, shooting daggers at our teacher, “No solicitations”.
For weeks I checked myself in the mirror each morning, convinced that she had put a spell on me.
Dude. Ever considered writing a book?
I heard Hillary went all the way behind the gym during lunch, and that Obama is dating a girl from Central High.
If you guys don’t vote for our Demon Overlord I”m going to TP your houses.
I hear John Edward does his ‘seances’ by rolling a d100 and looking up the result on the Spirit Response Table.
More evidence of demonic activity!
Must be one of those times when the fRighties are gearing up a new horde to threaten us all with.
Bill Ayres?
Ignore Marshall. He is not one of the most liberal members of this blog.
Ya know, this blog has gotten pretty short lately.
5 of the last 6 posts have been “Shorter”s. (Waiting for the next 2-minute Clownhall.)
Doesn’t HTML have a huge rant to go off on? Is Leonard Pierce out of rehab yet after his CPAC experience?
I like the Shorters, don’t get me wrong. You guys are teh awesome and you find the most hilarious crap. I just miss the big stuff.
Oh, and John Edward is in league with Lucifer. This has been well-documented.
Righteous Bubba: “welcome genuine troll”
That reminds me of the arcade video game Gauntlet. What a great game. I was always partial to the Valkyrie myself. Well done.
One more thing: Don’t shoot food.
Nah – the classics never grow old.
Bill Ayres?
It does look like it’s going that way, but even if you put him, Ward Churchill, and Obama’s pastor together they’re not quite a horde. It’ll take the fRighties awhile, but they’ll find some group to overgeneralize about and poop their pants over.
Any good horde needs a matching Quisling crowd, too – liberals work for all of them, but it gives it a nice touch to have an ethnic or national group who are Helping the Enemy, too. Like the golden age of 2003 when we couldn’t have a two-minutes’-hate because we couldn’t focus on one group of traitors long enough. “Hate the French!” “No, wait, hate the Germans!” “No, hate ALL of ‘Old Europe’!”
One more thing: Don’t shoot food.
Ha! I think that phrase might be the best spoken-word sound effect in video game history, with the possible exception of Gorf’s “Bad move, Space Cadet.” “Don’t shoot food” is a great line even written, but the Nintendo’s pronunciation of it makes the computer sound so disappointed in you.
Whenever my dog is getting in a feeding frenzy and flinging kibble out of her bowl, I tell her “Don’t throw food.” in that same inflection.
Dude. Ever considered writing a book?
Heh, doesn’t everyone? That’s right up there with, “You should be a model!” I don’t think having a screwed up childhood is enough reason to burden the world with more memoirs, but I have toyed with plagiarizing my memory to write fiction.
A lot of people support hummus. What I’d like to know is where he stands on tofu.
Wow, what a great joke opening that would be. “Bill Ayers, Ward Churchill and Jeremiah Wright walk into a bar…..”
Like the golden age of 2003 when we couldn’t have a two-minutes’-hate because we couldn’t focus on one group of traitors long enough. “Hate the French!” “No, wait, hate the Germans!” “No, hate ALL of ‘Old Europe’!
2001-2003 is definitely the days that foreigner-haters will remember, no question.
I dunno, I’m not sure all that stuff is finished. A day ago I heard some NPR commentator work himself up into a frenzy of anti-Chinese sentiment and also resentment against the entire world. It was kinda scary.
I give this troll 4/10. Cite something or scoot.
Shalom gentlemen.
The last time I tried to take a stand on tofu, it just went squish.
Yeah, but I love the way it oozes between your toes. Which is why the American people should demand a full, open discussion of the issue by all the presidential contenders.
The fact is, devil’s are around the corner at every turn, especially for those fighting the good fight against politics in the modern, secular-progressive world. We will rise up and defeat them all, as we rise up and defeat all you liberal’s, in November, when the heartland will rise up and take down its secular-progressive neighbors to both coasts once and for all with a stunning McCain victory signaling 8 more year’s of prosperity and peace.
“Bill Ayers, Ward Churchill and Jeremiah Wright walk into a bar…..”
After a few rounds their tongues loosen up a little. Wright says, “I hate this cracker ass country so much, I hope God damns it to hell.” Churchill says, “Well I hate this fascist regime so much, I hope we all get bombed”. Then Bill Ayers slams down his beer and says, “You too are a couple of bourgeois posers. I hate this country so much, I’m voting for McCain”
I knew I had not heard much from John Edwards since he dropped out of the race. So, he surfaced on a home shopping channel??? As a psychic??? The least he can do is tell us who will win the general election…
“What’s the matter boys, scared of a strong demonic leader?”
I, for one, welcome our new Satanic overlords.
OK, now that we have that out of the way…
I dunno, I’m not sure all that stuff is finished.
Sadly, I don’t think it is either. It’s just not currently at the fever pitch we attained back then, and even if it were it wouldn’t be as fashionable. I mean, it’s possible and regrettably common for hate to be widespread, but in those days it seemed like it was actually seen as cool.
On a serious note, remember that back in the 1990s the neo-cons were arguably even more intent on fucking with China than they were on going berserk in the Middle East. They’ve probably never really abandoned that fixation.
He’s a douche.
I’m about to find out that being a carrot isn’t as easy as it looks.
Misusing apostrophes is a Mark of the Beast.
What’s the matter, ladies, scared of a strong black leader?
Once the ladies go black, they never go back.
in the 1990s the neo-cons were arguably even more intent on fucking with China than they were on going berserk in the Middle East.
Yeah. They seem to hate the very idea of something which 1. Appears to be a viable state 2. is not the US.
Speaking of fear of all things witchy, one of the cable channels was running the 1980’s Dungeon & Dragons panic classic “Mazes & Monsters.” In the film, a young Tom Hanks plays a guy who loses all touch with reality and believes that he’s an actual paladin fighting orcs and whatnot. The only disturbing thing about the film, beyond the acting, is that the climactic scene takes place on one of the observation decks of the World Trade Center.
I love how people like her can never fully commit to saying that John Edward or other con men are faking. They have to leave open the possibility that it’s real because their minds believe in magic and invisible beings. It’s akin to believing that any band that sells a lot of records is by definition good. This is the classic “Creed doesn’t suck” fallacy.
I don’t think the satanic ghost of Steve Irwin meets the citizenship criteria for president.
Steve Irwin’s ghost isn’t satanic.
This is the classic “Creed doesn’t suck” fallacy.
Oh noes! It’s going to happen again! (curls up into fetal position)
I love how people like her can never fully commit to saying that John Edward or other con men are faking. They have to leave open the possibility that it’s real because their minds believe in magic and invisible beings.
One of my favorite examples of this is the Disney boycott during the 90’s. They grievance was that Disney stories are heavy on the magic and witchcraft, and that this might have a corrupting influence on children. In other words, their big fear was that Ursula the giant octopus might actually exist.
“I dunno, I’m not sure all that stuff is finished. A day ago I heard some NPR commentator work himself up into a frenzy of anti-Chinese sentiment and also resentment against the entire world. It was kinda scary.”
I have some of that anti-Chinese resentment. Free Tibet, yo. And keep your damned cheap poisoned junk.
ZOMG! What’s that on her ear? Sure, it looks like an incredibly gaudy earring but you can never be too certain! Quick, everyone into your WetSuitButtSealer safety togs.
And they actually might start practicing magic, which might open the Gates of Hell and lure a demon to corrupt them.
“… a stunning McCain victory signaling 8 more year’s of prosperity and peace.”
If by peace you mean, you know… war.
I have some of that anti-Chinese resentment. Free Tibet, yo. And keep your damned cheap poisoned junk.
Good food though.
Then Bill Ayers slams down his beer and says, “You too are a couple of bourgeois posers. I hate this country so much, I’m voting for McCain”
Even with the typo, that’s a thing of beauty. Go, pedestrian!
Well yeah… especially the steamed dumplings, sizzling rice soup and mushu pork.
“… a stunning McCain victory signaling 8 more year’s of prosperity and peace.”
Nobody could be that stupid. Nobody. You’d have to be so stupid that the big shiny light outside every morning surprises you every time. So stupid you set fire to the stove every time you want to cook. So stupid you think war is peace and recession is prosperity. Nobody’s that stupid.
One of my favorite examples of this is the Disney boycott during the 90’s. They grievance was that Disney stories are heavy on the magic and witchcraft, and that this might have a corrupting influence on children.
Yeah, I saw a drunk grandmother take her three grandchildren out of Aladdin because of the sorcery scenes. In her mind, animated magicians were evil, but real-life drunk driving with kids in the car was okay.
I can’t decide if (a) anyone who watches the Home Shopping Network deserves to burn in hell, or (b) anyone who watches the Home Shopping Network is already in hell.
Liar.
The worst thing about indulging in anti-Chinese resentment is, an hour later you’re indignant again.
I think that phrase might be the best spoken-word sound effect in video game history, with the possible exception of Gorf’s “Bad move, Space Cadet.”
Sinistar is obviously the most quotable game. Samples:
http://www.digitpress.com/dpsoundz/soundfx.htm
I hunger.
AHHH!!! Just once I want to type an entire comment without fucking it up on an obvious error. But thanks, Sidhe. 🙂
[Reads… re-reads… reads again… gingerly clicks submit button]
Am I the only one blocked by the Renew Amer. site? Twice? After I filled in the box with the word Keyes, and…Hey, wait a minute…
*slaps forehead*
“They have to leave open the possibility that it’s real because their minds believe in magic and invisible beings.”
Sarah Silverman said it. “Jesus is magic.”
And, yeah, Chinese food is teh awesome. Real Chinese food. Though on the other hand a substantial percentage of workers at Chinese restaurants are basically indentured servants/slaves, which somehow never makes it into campaign talking points or discussions about immigration, legal or otherwise.
All of the Asian food cultures are teh awesome, IMO. ‘specially teh Korean, and teh Thai. That does it, I’m gonna get me some lunch.
Free Tibet, yo. And keep your damned cheap poisoned junk.
Sure… there are sensible reasons to be anti-China, such as their antidemocratic state, their ecological problems (what the NPR guy was going on about, mostly), their trade policy, etc.
What I thought I heard on NPR, however, was someone who was not only criticizing China because of their ecological problems. I felt that the guy was using their ecological issues as a pretext for expressing hatred for the Chinese in general. Maybe I should try to find a link to it on the NPR website, so I can listen to it again.
The strangest part, to me, was how the guy ended up his rant by saying, “Maybe if the world looks at the crap going on in China, they will no longer be able to hate us here in the USA so much”, or something like that. It seemed to me that this was an example of someone resenting the whole world.
Awhile back Gary said:
The liberals love this state of godless distraction and perpectuate
Is “perpectuate” to Kaopectate as ibuprofen is to Advil?
NPR listeners hate America. It’s a well-known fact.
8 more year’s of prosperity and peace
The sickest joke today is the unintended juxtaposition of Bush telling us things are looking up in Iraq, while the next story is that the US Embassy is in lockdown because bombs are exploding in the Green Zone.
“The sickest joke today is the unintended juxtaposition…”
Oh, yeah – teh Cheney administration has irony down cold.
Marsha West is right. John Edward’s New Age magic sparkly talking unicorns from beyond the grave are much sillier than Marsha’s Christian magic sparkly talking unicorns from beyond the grave. No contest.
I predict in that within six months she’ll be competing for airtime on HSN with her own line of wonder-working ecclesiastical accessories.
Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing! Heh! Indeed! We’re winning! Read the whole thing!
I like the Home Shopping Network because it is free of commercial interruption!
The MGRR demonstrates why America should just say no to automated rectum rovers.
I predict in that within six months she’ll be competing for airtime on HSN with her own line of wonder-working ecclesiastical accessories.
Good point. I’m surprised that she bothered to write a long boring column about it when she could be selling a Marsha West Exorcism Kit with a free can of Holy Ghost Pepper Spray (to ward off pushy mediums.)
I mean, what would Pat Robertson do?
I love how cute new trolls are when they come here. They’re all “get out the talking points” efficient, and brace themselves for the flame war. It’s so cute when they furrow their brows in puzzlement at the reception they get.
I know! I love it when they try to maneuver around a counter-point, but their little logical legs can’t quite hold them up yet: they manage a deductive step or two, then kind of wobble a bit and collapse face first into the keyboard. And when they think they so big and scary with their tiny, adorable growls of “You hate America!” and their heartland nips and chews that are never strong enough to hurt.
And their fur is so soft and fuzzy!
I’d rather have a tribble than a troll. Everyone loves tribbles and tribbles love everyone!
Except Vulcans. Or is it Klingons?
He’d invest in Liberian gold mines, for Christ’s sake.
If you spend your Sundays engaging in Canibalism and Vampirism,
“I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you” (John 6:53),
then you probably shouldn’t be talking shit about someone else’s beliefs.
Ha! Sure they’re cute now, but sooner or later someone will feed one after midnight and your cute furry newbie troll will morph into a SaulGaryBastion troll.
Ah, you know how fashion goes in cycles. I nearly died when I saw bell bottoms and hip huggers and paisley again.
Yeesh, it was bad enough the first time around.
The fact is, liberals worship the false God of Man. They are secular humanists, with an agenda to destroy faith and the lives of all their enemies, yet they have faith in socialsim and science, which has lead to hundreds of millions of dead people like in USSR. Here in the heartland, we call out you liberals on your false God.
Shalom, gentlemen!
And, of course, it was a MIRACLE when Jesus raised Lazurus, NOT NECROMANCY, right?
Zombie Jesus Abides.
What’s the matter boys, scared of a strong female leader?
Not at all. I just don’t want my mom to be leader of the free world.
I demand to know why Gary has not yet called us out for our faith in a false Cod.
I worship the Isle of Man.
False Cod. That’s like lingo cod or black cod, right? Or rock cod?
oops, meant “ling cod”, but I kinda like lingo cod even better.
Shalom, gentlemen.
I hate lingo cod, with its hep talk and zoot suits, it’s all, “Hey you cats, how’s the skiddle-ee-de bop, man?” and slouches around with a cigarette hanging out the side of its mouth and playing the saxophone.
That’s just wrong.
“Bill Ayers, Ward Churchill and Jeremiah Wright walk into a bar…..”
And the bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”
Sinistar is obviously the most quotable game.
It’s toward the top of my list, but I like the voices to be that toothless synthetic stuff. Sinistar must have had a real voice actor. Damn good game, that one, but I could never manage to live for long.
“Hey you cats, how’s the skiddle-ee-de bop, man?”
Solid.
Free Tibet, yo.
With the purchase of one Tibet of equal or lesser value.
Someone tracked down the original Sinistar voice.
http://www.schoenke.com/tyler/sinistar/gen_info.html
I worship the Isle of Man.
Reject false prophets! Isle of Wight is the One True God!
Gentlemen, Shalom.
Ladies, go fuck yourselves right in the punum.
Hello? Is the Isle of Wight there? Well is the Isle of Wong there?
I worship the Isle of Man.
I worship the Sun of York.
I worship the Duck of York.
I worship the Son of Lancaster.
I worship the Isle of Lucy.
Nothing can stop me!
I worship not the false God of Man, but the true God of Falsity.
I worship the Duke of Earl.
Gary Worships the Earl of Sammich.
I am a practitioner of the Islets of Langerhans sect. Hey, were a small group—we don’t require a whole island.
I like the Dukes of Hazzard
Well, no man is an island… Although some of us are peninsulas.
Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat
Monster Island is actually a peninsula.
When did wannabe journalists go all Middle Ages on everybody? Witchcraft? WTF? This has to be a rib.
Obama’s books have racist diatribes about how White people are responsible for most of the greed in the world.
Had to adjust that.
Your point being?
I’m hoarding a pantheon and you can’t have any.
I worship the Earl of Grey, the Duchess of Milk and the Duke of Sugar.
Not really. I worship the God of Double Tall Soy Lattes.
Monster Island is actually a peninsula.
Hey, I heard we’re goin’ to Ape Island.
Yeah, to capture a giant ape.
I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island.
Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?
Apes. But they’re not so big.
Who am I kidding. My sky fairy is a medium sized annual bush of the psychotropic variety.
Bong Hits + Coffee = Hippie Speedball
Every afternoon in the summer season, I worship at the alter of the iced grean tea, provided by the wise and merciful Starbuckians down the way.
Location: Mount Siani:
Moses: God, I am here to woship you on the highest point of the land. Please give me a sign of your benevolence.
God: Behold the burning bush!
Bush: (Poof! Crackle!)
Moses: You are here, Oh God! Please give me a sign of your benevolence!
God: Come nearer and behold the burning bush!
Moses: Give us your commadments, God. We hear and obey.
God: Come. Closer. To. The. Bush.
Moses: We’ll obey any command, God, just show us your will.
God: For pity’s sake, breathe in the benevolent fumes I have sent you, only not too deep the first time. And exhale slowly.
Moses: We live to obey, God!
God: Forget it. Here’s some tablets, have a good time repressing yourselves. I give up. Got any snacks?
Candlewick Cruise Lines tour boats for Pleasure Island will be leaving the dock every hour on the hour – all aboard for some real kick-ass fun!
You really weren’t kidding.
I miss Bruce.
So every time I go to that Renew America site, it strikes me that possibly THAT’S where ALL the crazy comes from.
Malfunctioning Charles Johnson Robot said,
HIS PONY-TAIL IS ON FIRE!!!
.
We don’t need no water let the mother fucker burn!
Sinistar is obviously the most quotable game.
“Gorgar… Eat me!”
http://knoxville.craigslist.org/tag/595590443.html
I have a copyright 1979 Gorgar pinball machine in great shape.Back glass has been sealed to prevent further flaking. Cabinet is in good shape with a little repair started on one front corner. Playing field good for it’s age. Machine works and all rubber has been replaced. Gorgar is the first talking pinball machine made. Comes with owners manual and original flyer with plastic record of the voice of Gorgar.
I voted for Gorgar/Lieberman and what good did it do?
Test.
Finally, what’s with all the Creed shit. Knock it off.
Marshall in PA said,
March 28, 2008 at 16:24 (kill)
Intruder Alert!! Intruder Alert!!
Marshall in PA said,
March 28, 2008 at 16:24 (unkill) (autopsy)
Get the humanoid! Got the intruder!
What about demon robots? They slither into your colon and hold a black mass!
And would the mucobots get along with nanotechnology? Or would there be another Iraq, with the mucobots building permanant bases in the rectum and the nanobots building nuclear weapons in a bunker under the liver?
I’d like to see Glen Reynolds chickenhawk his way out of that war,
wasn’t this an episode of Buffy?? Season 6??
no, wait, the demon robot was season 1. sorry.
Moloch the Corruptor, I think. I never understood why fundamentalists were so against Buffy. She wore a cross and fought demons, just like they tell everyone to do.
Although I admit, the show was no Bibleman
warning: goofy-ass sound
There might be a black mass in my colon, but I doubt if anyone would want to hold it.
Oh, I remember the Gorgar pinball machine. Fun. (Not as fun as Centaur, but that’s a topic I’ll save for anyone wanting to discuss pinball.)
I liked Black Knight. The fact that I could keep it going indefinitely had something to do with it.
wow, what do you think happened to terri garr? She used to be so funny.
Sickening Vile Disgusting Mainstream Media Moonbat…
I can’t tell the difference between the malfunctioning Chucklebot and the one that’s working properly.
Shut up, that’s who – thanks for the Berzerk wavs. Another classic from when indestructable bouncing smiley-faces haunted our nightmares (and this before Wal*Mart came along!)
The malfunctioning Chuklebot actually sweats less when it eats than the properly functioning version.
Sinistar is obviously the most quotable game.
The guy who owned the local arcade (which was 30 miles away in Tupelo) had this habit of holding on to games way past their freshness date, but he’d also buy games that other arcades were getting rid off because of whatever reason. The upshot is we had access to a full-on, sit-down, full-stereo version of Sinister. First time I heard that “I Hunger” I did not know the game talked, and it liked to have scared me to death. I mean, seriously. I leaped right out of the seat and had nightmares for a week. Might’ve been 11 or so.
I’ve thought in recent years of tracking down the guys who designed that game and letting them know that. I’d heard the game didn’t make a whole lot of money, coming at the end of the first golden age of video games and the beginning of Nintendo, but maybe they’d like to know that at least they’d succeeded artistically.
And as for the original topic, I’m reminded of an annecdote told to me as a young sports journalist. Seems this great man of Southern sports broadcasting – who’s name evades me at the moment ’cause I’m stoned – was given the unique honor of giving play-by-play for that years Harvard-Yale football game. One student asked the distinguished gentleman, “Sir, who do you favor in today’s game, Yale or Fair Harvard?” The man said, “Neither. You’re both a bunch of damnyankees and I wish there was a way you both could lose.”
When Bible-thumping dipsticks go up against New Age woo merchants the real winners is me and the guy who does the Skeptic’s Dictionary.
Susan, how did you know about that conversation? I thought I was the only Chosen One of Herby Knowledge.
BTW-
Classic.
…maybe they’d like to know that at least they’d succeeded artistically.
If you can track them down, definitely let them know. I know a few video game artists and programmers and they rarely hear anything from fans, especially that long after the game shipped. They’ll be touched.
“I Hunger” creeped me right out too, though I didn’t hear it under such ideal circumstances.
First time I heard that “I Hunger” I did not know the game talked, and it liked to have scared me to death.
That was pretty much my experience, but now I routinely apply “RUN, COWARD!” to any passing jogger.
I must shamefully admit to being roughly the same age as y’all and having no knowledge of this Sini Star you speak of…
Now Wizard of Wor, there’s a catchy voice-over…
Sinistar gameplay. He was scary.
Something at the very back of my mind seems to recall that game now. Thanks, RB.
So basically in that game you madly careened about shooting wildly without sustaining any damage until the big Sini Star came and ate you?
Stargate was cooler, if not less sinister.
I liked Black Knight.
That was another good’un. Black Knight 2000 had pretty good gameplay, but boy was that singing annoying.
PS to the board admins: for some reason, a link of the form
http://www.ipdb.org/machine.cgi?id=311 doesn’t work for links– the smart-quoting feature here makes the quotes for the <A> tag not close correctly.
Now Wizard of Wor, there’s a catchy voice-over…
Indeedy. That game used the same voice chip as Q*Bert and Gorf, the venerable Votrax SC-01. That chip had some bizarre properties – the story goes that it was designed by a guy who was a self-trained expert in how human voice worked, tinkering in his basement. The chip’s workings were very different from other voice synthesizers of the time and allowed it to do some interesting stuff, like sing (I’ve heard them used that way to sing “When I’m Sixty-Four” and the little bastards can actually carry a tune). Today there are a couple pretty dedicated reverse-engineering efforts going on to re-create the old chip in software.
Here’s a hobbyist’s page from a guy re-creating his old 1980s high school experiments with the chip, using it to make it call his biology teacher a bitch. We geeks are very easily amused, no matter how hard we have to work for that amusement.
Testing?
Worked for me, but I have no “smart quoting feature”
Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers Faith Homosexuals Martin Luther King Reagan Vouchers
Thanks, Sam, I needed to learn something today.
Gorf…gorf…that was like the less popular Galaga, right?
gorf…that was like the less popular Galaga, right?
Partly. Gorf had five different mini-games, each of which was pretty much a Space Invaders variant. One of them was a lot like Galaga.
So basically in that game you madly careened about shooting wildly without sustaining any damage until the big Sini Star came and ate you?
You’re mining asteroids and picking bits up. The red guys shoot at you and you have to kill them anyway because they steal the bits you mine.
The red guys build Sinistar, you build bombs to kill Sinistar. Once they build him he starts yapping and chasing you all over the place and you need enough bombs to blow him up.
Also, you can’t not fire your weapon if you’re moving. Williams games were pretty terrific for mayhem and good sound effects.
Dedicated stealers of bits and bytes should investigate MAME.
Finally, what’s with all the Creed shit. Knock it off.
I think that phase has passed. I hope so anyway but if he does it again it’s going to go down like this.
Dedicated stealers of bits and bytes should investigate MAME.
Seconded. But be warned – it’s a bit tricky to set up, but the bigger problem is that once you’ve got it going it can be a huge timewaster.
If you’re into retrogaming. And maybe even if you’re not and feel some nostalgia about it all anyway.
Okay, this site (The Basement Arcade) has a ton of arcade game sounds:
Don’t Shoot Food
Someone Shot the Food
Ow!
Player Dies
I worship the Isle of Lucy.
You can keep your encyclopaedic knowledge of old video games; I have my memories of British radio comedy.
What’s your name?
Lucy.
And yours?
Lucy.
[Omnes:] Lucy. Lucy. Lucy.
It’s not a real island! It’s a lucy-nation!
———————–
The liberals love this state of godless distraction
Where is this state, anyway? Perhaps I can claim citizenship.
When speaking about the Devil, Jesus Himself said, “He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44). In other words, the devil is a big fat liar!
So, when the Devil called Jesus of Nazareth “the Christ, Son of God” he was lying?
So, according to Jesus Christ, demons are real. What’s more, it’s impossible to make sense of Jesus and His ministry without acknowledging that demons exist.
That’s refreshingly candid. As John Wesley said, “the giving up of witchcraft is, in effect, the giving up of the Bible.”
Yes, Satan and his minions are powerful, but they are created beings, fallen angels, who were defeated by Christ when he went to the cross.
I thought “He was a murderer from the beginning”? God created a murderer from the beginning. What a fucking ‘hole.
I’d just like to say thanks to all you guys.
This has been one of the most entertaining threads I’ve read in blogistan.
I very often had no familiarity with any of the references, but that didn’t prevent them from being funny.
Oh, I suppose I could get all maudlin about all the stuff I missed, stuff that was right under my nose and I couldn’t get out of my own crazyness and addictions long enough to find it.
But nah. I think I’ll see if I can find another path this time…
mikey
Holy crap, teh anthrax is falling from the skyz here in Seattle!
hold me…
For me, the most baffling sentence of all in Ms. West’s post was:
HSN’s “exceptional array of celebrities” includes Wolfgang Puck, Suzanne Somers, Jennifer Flavin-Stallone and Tori Spelling.
That’s it. It’s just left hanging there, with no apparent connection to the rest of the article.
Does she mean to say that these people are fans of John Edwards? Or that they’re just HSN supporters and therefore tainted by association?
Either way, if these are the best celebrities Edwards and/or HSN can come up with, I’d say that’s pretty good evidence of a Satanic curse right there.
John Edward is the product of godless secular humanism that the left has been advocating since the 1960s.
America needs to turn back to our Great Judeo-Christian Heritage and embrace it once again. When we do you’ll see attention seekers like John Edward go the way of the dodo because they will have no audience.
In my home state of Nebraska the overwhelming majority of people are Conservative, Christian and Patriotic. We have no time for an attention seeking fool like John Edward, we’re too busy with the Real God.
“Perhaps John Edward is a fraud and a brilliant con man. Then again, it’s entirely possible that he does, in fact, receive information from the spirit world.”
This is all I, or anyone, needs to know about this article.
Have you all seen the Donkey Kong documentary The King of Kong? Fantastic stuff.
Donkey Kong and Ms. Pac Man were my two best games. And Gauntlet of course, but you had to have at least two other playing with you and an assload of quarters. SamfromUtah, you were right on the money. Something about that voice really made you feel like you let the machine down when you shot the food. I’m 36 so it’s been a while on the arcade game front for me, but something about “welcome genuine troll” dredged up memories of the hours I spent playing Gauntlet. Sort of like a weird arcade game acid flashback.
We have no time for an attention seeking fool like John Edward, we’re too busy with the Real God.
But not too busy to post about him.
We have no time for an attention seeking fool like John Edward, we’re too busy with the Real God.
Busy with god? Doing what, pray tell.
(Hee hee)
Godding? Or maybe god’s not only a pissy old fuck, but he’s lonely, so he makes you play parchesi with him all day?
I guess I’ve just never heard this construction before. So enlighten me – How exactly DOES god keep you so busy?
mikey
Sort of like a weird arcade game acid flashback.
Heh. That sort of thing happens to me a lot, as you probably guessed.
“Holy crap, teh anthrax is falling from the skyz here in Seattle!”
It’ll be OK–just leave your car on the side of the road like everyone else. No need to panic, JUST DON’T TRY TO DRIVE IN IT!!!111!
Have you all seen the Donkey Kong documentary The King of Kong?
Yes, and it was really something. It made me feel a bit better about myself that there were people who took it all so much more seriously than even I ever did.
we’re too busy with the Real God.
What, no capitalization of The Holy Article That Doth Preceed His Name? For shame.
America needs to turn back to our Great Judeo-Christian Heritage and embrace it once again. When we do you’ll see attention seekers like John Edward go the way of the dodo because they will have no audience.
Holy shit, we’re going to start hunting psychics for sport? Where do I sign up for this theocracy, and when does it start?
precede. honestly, I think that psychic cursed me.
How exactly DOES god keep you so busy?
He’ll pull shit like have you run in circles in the desert for twenty years. A rascal.
We pay attention to the Real God by praying to Him for forgiveness, for His Glory, and simply to praise and honor Him. We immerse our selves in His Word the Bible. We attend Church and Bible Study regularly and attend weekly Visitation.
He’ll pull shit like have you run in circles in the desert for twenty years.
If only He’d keep his flock too busy to meddle in worldly affairs like politics, eh?
I do wish that you would immerse yourself entirely in the bible and skip the visitation.
During Easter service at my Church last Sunday a young girl responded to the Pastor’s alter call after the sermon and got saved. She accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and is permanently sealed for eternal life. Praise God!
We pay attention to the Real God by praying to Him for forgiveness, for His Glory, and simply to praise and honor Him. We immerse our selves in His Word the Bible. We attend Church and Bible Study regularly and attend weekly Visitation.
Also, He apparently told George Bush to invade Iraq. That’s been keeping us awfully busy.
permanently sealed for eternal life.
It’ll be cooler once she learns to honk those car horns with her nose.
Kinda like your immerse yourself in this den of G-dless heathens,
SaulMatt?She accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and is permanently sealed for eternal life.
She can’t breathe! Unseal her! LET HER OUT!!!!
This reminds me of those news reports a few months ago about the elephant seal that wandered out of the water and took up residence in a roadside puddle. I kept thinking that an elephant seal was something you used to patch up your leaky elephant.
I hear a couple of wet suits and a trip to the sex shop are a good recipe for ‘eternally sealing’…
Sealed with a kiss?
I kept thinking that an elephant seal was something you used to patch up your leaky elephant.
Hee hee
These days they’re kept busy being mistaken for walruses and saying “I has a bukkit”.
Even busier than godbags immersing themselves in sealed Bibles!
OneMan, you’re a Seattleite, too?
I sometimes think of starting a night similar to Drinking Liberally. I’m thinking Beveridge Place Pub, $2.50 Micro Mondays.
Drinking Sadly has a nice ring to it, and it a double entandre’ during the S.A.D. gray months.
She accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and is permanently sealed for eternal life.
Oh so am I, and God DAMN America, it’s a weight off of me. If I hadn’t gone to a “once saved, always saved” church as a child I might be headed for hellfire right now, but as it is I can do as many lines off the ass of a prostitute as I want and all I have to worry about is seeing the pearly gates that much sooner.
Suck it Jeebus! You signed in blood!
wow, what do you think happened to terri garr? She used to be so funny.
Multiple Sclerosis.
Iz not so funi akshully.
Suck it Jeebus! You signed in blood!
Careful, that’s what Kathy Griffin said. If you’re not careful, you’ll end up with a desperate show on Bravo too.
John Edward is lucky we are living in the Church Age of Grace and not under the Law of Moses. If we were still under the Law, God’s people would be required to stone him.
(late to the conversation, as usual… hey, I’m like three hours BEHIND the WEST COAST)
Speaking of video game nostalgia – there’s a pretty cool ad out there in which they re-create the old Spy Hunter game with actual cars… I got a giggle out of it.
http://www.geekologie.com/2008/03/spy_hunter_themed_pontiac_car.php
Matt, you’re finally starting to talk some sense.
I get stoned for my beliefs every day of the week.
…they re-create the old Spy Hunter game with actual cars…
SWEEEET.
We pay attention to the Real God by praying to Him for forgiveness, for His Glory, and simply to praise and honor Him. We immerse our selves in His Word the Bible. We attend Church and Bible Study regularly and attend weekly Visitation.
Amen Matt! I live in the heartland of the USA of America and I pray mightly (in my basement chapel) to be delivered from those who would steal my essence…at the moment I’m being beleaguered by a flock of demonly Islamosexuals who hide everytime I work up the nerve to chase them down. I know they’re up there….I can hear them talking, taunting me, over by the trash cans next to my garage. I set a trap there but they’re so crafty and supernaturally endowed that they sense my attempts to catch them, and they avoid it. Maybe I should pray to Allah because my Jesus prayers don’t seem to be working, they keep threatening to drain me of my manly essence…..so I will feel empty and lose my patriotism. When things get bad Matt, I remember that our President is a War President and a jet pilot hero of the battle of the Iraq War! His courage fends off the Islamosexuals, and he kneels and prays with his fellow Marine comrades Cpt. Jeff Gannon and Cpl. Matt Sanchez, and together, they beat off any urges that might be unwholesome and unAmerican!
Keep the failth Matt, and may your loins remain pure in the eyes of the Real G*d™!
I get stoned for my beliefs every day of the week.
Yeah, back in the day the penalty for a rebellious child was stoning. It mellowed them right out. Then when a boy got older his parents would take them to a gypsy called the “Acid Queen.” After that the boy wouldn’t be a boy no more, if you know what I mean.
Rugged – that is good satire (I hope). Reminds me of “Talkin’ John Birch Society Blues” by Bob Dylan.
I wus lookin’ high an’ low for them Reds everywhere,
I wus lookin’ in the sink an’ underneath the chair.
I looked way up my chimney hole,
I even looked deep inside my toilet bowl.
They got away . . .
And don’t forget the Queen of Sexual Awakening, Molly X.
I’m thinking Beveridge Place Pub…
Ha! I was there a little over a year ago for a buddy’s wedding reception. Nice place, it was their local hangout (they’re now overseas).
I live in the opposite corner of town, near-ish the lake but I can make an effort for the right incentive (the frosty kind).
Hey, G-d guys!
Explain this!
I guess Satan taught those elephants to paint?
I just have trouble getting past the whole ‘Microbrew for $2.50/pint’ idea.
Nobody could be that stupid. Nobody. You’d have to be so stupid that the big shiny light outside every morning surprises you every time. So stupid you set fire to the stove every time you want to cook. So stupid you think war is peace and recession is prosperity. Nobody’s that stupid.
Except the sims.
Rugged – that is good satire (I hope)
Satires? You mean them Grecian sex-obsessed goat-boys? No, I’m pretty sure these are just your plain, garden variety Islamosexual demons, not any fancy-Dan antique style ancient demons…….thought that’d be kinda cool, huh?
Bar in west seattle? At least it’s next to mashiko’s. Good sushi and awesome website/music rules.
I have an on again/off again relationship with the Sushi Whore.
Sometimes I love the inventiveness and attitude. Sometimes I can’t stand the prices and hipper-than-thou attitude.
They do, however, have a toilet in the ladies room that automatically rinses and dries, all the while gently heating the seat.
t4t:
O RLY?
are you a guuurl?
I have to rework my mental image of you.
I mean, what with the ‘toby’ and all…
not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Is Tsukushinbo still around?
THE FACT IS!!!!11!
It is good sushi. Prices, meh. And they let some of my friends dj there. Can’t argue with that.
Keep it down you pacific-northwestern-ers. You guys didn’t see me crying about the weather here in the midwest. Seventh worst winter in recorded history.
Insert global warming denial here.
Hey don’t blame me if you didn’t take advantage of the opportunity to whine.
Every time there’s a rumor of a flake in the air around here, the entire city comes to a halt. We all have to stop and complain to each other about how scawwwy the snow is!
Marsha takes no comments. How boring.
Looks to me like magic and God have done jack shit, at least nothing since we’ve been watching.
Now alchemy and technology however, get shit done.
Ha, I’d compare DC’s panic over the mere threat of snow with anybody’s!
Here in Salt Lake City nobody panics about the snow, but they all forget how to drive in it between one winter and the next. It’s taking your life into your hands to go out on the streets on the first snow day.
Shalom, cowards.
I used to live in SLC, and yes I remember the first snowfall was always the worst for drivers.
Hell, down here in california we utterly freak out if it rains.
Snow? Thats just a theme park deal up in tahoe. You drive to it.
You play, you ride a sled, you ski or ‘board, you take romantic walks in it, you have a snowball fight.
Then, when you’re done? You drive back home where it doesn’t snow. It’s only a couple hours.
mikey
love how cute new trolls are when they come here. They’re all “get out the talking points” efficient, and brace themselves for the flame war… Yet still, the response puzzles them.
They’re just so darn cute!
Dammit, I told you NO and I meant it — would you just stop feeding the blasted trolls! Sure, right now it’s “aw, look how cute”, but by the end of the weekend you’ll be back to the youtube warz and the troll will be shitting in every thread-corner stinking up our nice place. Don’t listen to the Demon Kishkan, never once have I allowed her to bring one of the baby bunnies she’s slaughtered inside, and for much the same reason. It’s nasty and unsanitary and I’m not going to encourage it…
What some people won’t do to avoid a nice slice of pie. Hmmpth!
Then, when you’re done? You drive back home where it doesn’t snow.
Which is exactly why I went off to college in So. Cal. I was really goddam sick of shovelling the stuff. Of course, I ended up back here, but I had a few years of that awesome January sun.
Here in Salt Lake City nobody panics about the snow, but they all forget how to drive in it between one winter and the next. It’s taking your life into your hands to go out on the streets on the first snow day.
At least in SLC you have nice broad straight flat roads for the morons to skid around on. I spent almost 20 years in mid-Michigan and the next 20 here in New England, both areas where snow can reasonably be expected anytime after Columbus Day and before Memorial Day, and yet every blasted year the first snowfall (or two or three) comes as a complete effing surprise to approximately one in five drivers. And around here, those lackwits’ inability to remember what they learned through bitter experience just a few months ago is compounded by a road topography designed by drunks, litigators, and glaciers. Whenever I wonder why Dubya’s approval ratings haven’t dipped into the negative zone, I remind myself that some peoples’ memories don’t extend any further back than last weekend.
never once have I allowed her to bring one of the baby bunnies she’s slaughtered inside, and for much the same reason
I’m not so sure that’s the best plan available, Anne Laurie.
You can clean ’em and bone ’em and in no time you could have ’em in a white hot wok with some peppers and chopped nuts and sesame oil and soba noodles.
Damn, I’m tellin you, that would be just fine with a nice crisp Gewürztraminer…
mikey
The Donkey Kong documentary was really great stuff. The “champion” guy who wouldn’t face the challenger in an honest match, and who advocated rule changes as the circumstances suited him, is such a GOPer.
Also, has anyone mentioned the one, true G*d, Galaga? I’ll fuck some kids up in a game of Galaga.
I hate it when I forget to change my name back.
All it takes in the Baltimore area is one hint of the white death from the sky to cause a run on milk, bread and toilet paper at the grocery stores.
Personally, I like to hit the liquor store in the hope that it really snows and I can sit by the fire with a glass of wine and not go to work.
Ha. In DC they panic when they predict snow SOMEWHERE ELSE. It really is a sight to see (but not to drive in). Those from further south than here don’t have a clue how to drive in snow so they go 10 miles an hour on clear, plowed streets, while the northerners all get cocky (you call THIS snow?) and go too fast because they forgot how to drive when the roads are NOT clear.
You can clean ‘em and bone ‘em and in no time you could have ‘em in a white hot wok with some peppers and chopped nuts and sesame oil and soba noodles.
*Sigh*. Mikey, the Demon Kishkan only demonstrates her murderous talents on the teeeensiest little baby bunnies (and voles, and on one red-letter day a chipmunk). I think you could probably just roast ’em whole on toast and eat them bones & all, like orlatons. But the bunnies & Kishkan & I all live on a double Superfund site, so even if I was that ambitious (or thrifty) it would totally phreak the Spousal Unit out…
Also, so far our 15-pound rescue dog hasn’t figured out that Kishkan’s “special toys” might be edible once she gets tired of them, and I don’t want to put ideas in his greedy little head.
Hmm, ok.
Could we stuff some tomatos?
mikey
Well, if you can wait until mid-July, I’ll have some proper home-grown tomatoes… grown in planters containing non-Superfund-certified soil, of course!
At least in SLC you have nice broad straight flat roads for the morons to skid around on.
True, and I count this among my blessings. I do live in a hilly part of town, but the roads are still straight and wide and it’s easy to see the dumb ones coming.
And better still, I live right near a rail stop so if I can make it across one street I can avoid driving altogether. Teh yhey for the Utah Transit Authority!
“Oprah Winfrey’s message comes straight from the pit of hell. Think about that for a moment. Who else but Satan would be behind such a diabolical movie? Why would any serious follower of Jesus Christ worth their salt waste his or her time watching Oprah’s show?
Oprah did give us Dr Phil…….
mikey :http://www.amishlandseeds.com/images/schimmeigstripedhol.jpg
It’s about halfway down , on this page
http://www.amishlandseeds.com/tomatoes_yellow.htm
http://www.amishlandseeds.com/images/schimmeigstripedhol.jpg
God fuck it all to damn, I hate people.*
*My new default comment to all posts about wingnuts.
God fuck it all to damn, I hate people.*
*My new default comment to all posts about wingnuts.
Noooooo. That’s backwards. They’re doin’ it for love. =))
We attend Church and Bible Study regularly and attend weekly Visitation.
Court ordered and monitored, I’m assuming.
comes as a complete effing surprise to approximately one in five drivers.
One in five? You’re being kind.
But the bunnies & Kishkan & I all live on a double Superfund site, so even if I was that ambitious (or thrifty) it would totally phreak the Spousal Unit out… Not near Rose Hill dump in RI, is it?
Hey, Matt McMahon, could you Nebraskans please annex the redneck western third of Iowa, so the rest of the state can get on with being righteously Blue?
kthxbai!
Uh.. yeah… back away slowly.. avoid eye contact. The next time someone is ranting about how we need to respect “people of faith” just point them her way.